скачать книгу бесплатно
‘There was no reason you should have. You trusted her,’ Todd countered.
‘Yeah! Not one of my finer decisions apparently,’ Ben replied as he got up and began pacing the floor. ‘I mean, I know things weren’t perfect but I just thought we’d work through them, you know? I didn’t think she’d ever …’ His voice cracked. ‘I guess if I’m honest, it’s been coming for a while. I just didn’t want to see it. It’s pretty obvious that we have nothing in common. We hold different values. Hell, she practically told me I don’t even satisfy her in bed!’
Across the room Todd raised his eyebrows. He knew a few of the women Ben had dated over the years and that definitely wasn’t the impression he’d been given. Glancing over at his fiancée, he could tell she was just dying to run up and hug her brother, tell him he was way too good for that woman anyway, but she knew that wasn’t the kind of support he needed right now. But Todd could see that inside she was raging with fury at her sister-in-law as her eyes burned with unshed tears at seeing Ben in so much pain.
Ben continued. ‘You know what’s funny, I went to touch her hair earlier today at the ranch. I don’t know … stupid thing … the wind wasn’t moving it and … anyway. Not important. But the thing was, she went absolutely nuts! Her husband goes to touch just her hair and she freaks out yet she’s happy to roll around with God knows who in our bed! How messed up is that?’ He took a swig from the bottle and wiped a stray tear away impatiently. ‘Couldn’t even go to a hotel. Takes him right there, under my nose!’ Todd looked up from his beer bottle and studied his friend. Anger and frustration strained at Ben’s emotional seams. Standing, he placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, gently steering him towards the garage. Ben looked perplexed at his friend as he took the beer from his hand and then opened the internal door to the garage. Todd nodded to the punchbag and tossed over a pair of gloves.
‘Knock yourself out.’ He gave him a half-smile. ‘Though preferably not literally.’
The sweat was pouring off Ben when he returned half an hour later. His shirt was in a ball in his hand and the waistband of his jeans was damp from his exertions. Sandy walked past him on her way to the kitchen.
‘Poo-eee!’
Ben smiled sarcastically and then hugged her.
‘Ugh! No! Get off! Get off!’ she yelled, pushing him away. His mouth attempted a smile.
‘Feel better?’ Todd ventured.
‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’ He paused. ‘Thanks.’ Todd nodded in acceptance.
‘Are you going to take a shower?’ Sandy asked, having retreated to a safe distance.
‘Is that a hint?’
‘More of a demand.’ She smiled at him. ‘Throw out your stuff and I’ll wash it.’
‘OK, thanks.’ Ben headed off to the guest room and shower and then poked his head back around the corner. ‘For everything.’
Sandy smiled, kissed him on the cheek and then pushed him towards the bathroom.
Chapter 4 (#ulink_5b600297-74ca-575b-a07b-c04259222d06)
One Year Later
‘Try to stay in one piece.’ Sandy smiled and kissed her fiancé, before burying her face in his neck. ‘I wish you wouldn’t do this,’ she whispered.
Todd turned his head and kissed her temple. Gently he took her face in his hands and kissed her, long and loving, before pulling back and meeting her eyes.
‘Honey, I’m an old hand at this, you know that. I’ve been doing this since I was five years old. There’s nothing to worry about. OK?’ She nodded against his hands, unconvinced.
Pulling her to him, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, their bodies as close as he could make them. ‘Besides, you think I’d do anything that would risk me not coming back to you every night?’ She shook her head against his chest.
Stepping back, he took her face again. ‘Ok, then,’ he said, kissing her goodbye. ‘I’ll see you this evening.’
Sandy nodded and forced a smile as he brushed his fingers against hers, then jogged to the kerb. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go!’ Todd said, climbing into Ben’s truck as Sandy walked up to the driver’s side and smiled at her big brother.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’
‘Have a good time.’
Ben leant out of the window and kissed Sandy on the cheek. ‘We will. Now stop worrying. I’ll look after him. I promise.’ She smiled and waved until they turned the corner and disappeared from sight.
Sandy read the same line of her novel five times before giving up and closing the book. It was always the same – she just couldn’t concentrate when Todd went to the rodeo. Mostly she went with him but she had an appointment with the wedding reception venue this afternoon that they’d been waiting ages for. It was an extremely popular location and already had bookings three years in advance; although it was their dream choice, there was no way they wanted to wait that long. Thankfully a cancellation slot that worked for them had come up and Sandy didn’t want to risk losing it by not seeming interested. Obviously, she’d rather they’d both been going but Todd had been doing rodeo ever since she’d known him and there were always dates that he wasn’t available. As she hadn’t been able to change the venue appointment, it was what it was. Todd had already told her that whatever she chose he’d be happy with, saying that all he wanted was to marry her and he’d happily do that in shorts and sneakers on the back porch so long as it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with her. Anything else that would make her happy was a bonus. Staring at the cover of the novel for a moment, she tossed it down and grabbed her car keys instead.
It was always an enjoyable drive out to Ben’s ranch. There was an open offer to close friends and family to ride the horses whenever they liked and right then, she felt it might help take her mind off worrying about Todd.
As she pulled into the drive, she smiled. It really was a beautiful house with its wooden slats and shutters, and the porch wrapping around it as though it was giving the house a big hug. Sandy parked the car out front and began walking down to the stables.
*
Ben and Todd had been coming to the rodeo for longer than either of them could remember. Todd had been fascinated by it from his very first visit and had been addicted ever since. He’d begged to be allowed to take part and eventually his family had relented. A natural talent, he was soon winning local and then national championships. The draw of it hadn’t diminished as he’d got older and he’d been lucky, he knew. There was no denying that it was dangerous and he’d seen more than his fair share of injuries to both clowns and riders. He hated that it upset Sandy when he took part but they’d made a deal that once they were married, he’d stop. Their plan was to start a family soon after anyway, so he had a feeling free time was going be pretty scarce. Aside from which, why would he be here when he could be somewhere else that meant everything to him?
‘Feels weird Sandy not being here today,’ he said to Ben as he got ready for his first ride.
Ben nodded. ‘She really wants that venue though.’
Todd smiled. ‘That’s true. She’s had her heart set on it ever since we got engaged. I kind of feel bad I’m not there with her. Maybe I should have cancelled today.’
‘You’ve visited that place before, right?’
Todd bent and adjusted his boot. ‘Mm-hmm. We got a tour like the day after the engagement.’
‘OK. So today’s what? Just more details?’ Ben asked.
Todd shrugged. ‘I guess so.’
‘Does any of that matter to you? I mean, would you even notice if the bows were satin instead of silk?’
He straightened and stretched his back. ‘All that matters to me is marrying your sister.’
‘So, stop worrying about it. If Sandy had really wanted you to go, she’d have told you. I think we both know that. I’m pretty sure you’d just be in the way today.’
Pushing on his hat, Todd grinned. ‘Something tells me you might be right.’
Ben gave him a quick hug and then clapped his shoulder. ‘Be good and be safe,’ he said.
‘But not in that order.’ Todd finished off their pre-ride ritual, turned and walked across to meet his next challenge.
His friend left to find a good place to watch the next rounds, and sat comfortably chatting with a few of the regulars as they viewed the action, comments and applause mingling as the talent or technique of a particular rider was noted. Glancing over, he could see the top of Todd’s hat as his friend braced himself, ready for the gate to the arena to open.
*
Ben had heard a rodeo arena go silent before and it always turned his blood cold. But this time he was completely frozen. Paralysed by the sight of Todd lying on the arena floor as rodeo clowns risked their lives to keep the still bucking animal away from the broken, unmoving body. And then Ben started to run.
They’d held him back, telling him that the last thing they needed was another person at risk and it had seemed like forever until he was able to see his friend. But Todd couldn’t see him. He’d lost consciousness the moment he’d hit the ground and still hadn’t regained it. As he was wired and tubed up in the ambulance, Ben sat across from him feeling useless and terrified. The siren screamed as they raced through the streets towards the hospital on the other side of town. His hand clutched his phone and he knew what he had to do.
Sandy was just leading Chancer out of the stables, chatting with Jed, when her cell phone rang. She checked the display and blanched.
‘What’s happened?’
*
Jed drove Sandy to the hospital. One look at her face had told him that she wasn’t in any shape to drive herself. From what he’d been able to get out of her, Todd had taken a bad fall at the rodeo and still hadn’t regained consciousness. She was almost out of the truck before Jed had pulled to a halt outside the hospital doors. He watched her sprint inside, waited a moment, then drove away, praying all the way home that Todd would be OK.
*
It had been four days since the accident, and now it wasn’t only Todd’s health worrying loved ones. Still swarming with wires and tubes, there had been no improvement in Todd’s condition but neither was there any deterioration. Sandy had refused to leave her fiancé’s bedside from the moment she’d been allowed to see him. She wouldn’t eat and barely slept. Occasionally slumber stole over her, trying to embrace her in its warm comfort but she fought against it with a powerful vengeance and, so far, she was winning.
Ben studied his sister as he placed yet another cup of coffee on the table beside her.
‘You really ought to try and eat something, sweetheart.’
‘I’m not hungry.
‘Even so.’
She didn’t look at him. She’d barely looked at anyone but her fiancé for days. Her total attention was focused on Todd, hoping for a glimmer of movement, the faintest of signs that he was still in there, and would be back with her soon. Ben took in the dark circles under Sandy’s eyes, the pale skin on her drawn and tired face, his guilt increasing as he did so.
I’ll look after him, he’d said. I promise. And now look where they were. Machines beeping all around, tubes in one place, out of another, while his own sister could only watch, and hope and pray – no expression on her face, no tone in her voice, her entire being centred on Todd.
The doctors had been unable to tell them how long he could be like this. He could wake up tomorrow or it could be weeks … or more. God forbid it was either of the latter, or Sandy herself wasn’t going to be in any fit state to see him.
‘Honey, please eat something. You’re going to make yourself ill.’
Sandy took the coffee cup and sipped at the hot liquid as Ben walked around to the other side of the bed and gazed down at Todd. Incredibly, all that showed externally from the fall was a broken wrist and a slight bruise on his temple.
‘See ya later, buddy,’ Ben said, closing a hand over his friend’s for a moment. Crossing back, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of Sandy’s hair, not that she noticed, then quietly closed the door on his way out.
‘Any news?’ Molly asked as soon as he entered the house.
He’d been staying at his parents since the accident as it was closer to the hospital. And maybe, if he truly admitted it to himself, because he didn’t want to be alone right now.
‘No change,’ Ben replied. He hung his coat on the rack and looked back at his mother. ‘What can I do, Mama? I feel like I should be able to do something!’
‘There’s nothing any of us can do but pray, sweetheart.’
‘But—’
‘Ben, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Todd was going to that rodeo with or without you. Thanks to you he’s getting the best medical treatment possible. All we can do now is wait. In the meantime, you can go wash your hands ready for supper.’
‘I’m not real—’
‘Ben, please! I already have one child who’s barely eating. Please don’t make me worry over you too.’ Molly gripped the cloth she was holding, her knuckles showing white, the worry over Todd and Sandy etched into her face. He turned at her raised voice, seeing the panic and fear his mother was trying so desperately to keep inside.
With Todd being the son of family friends, they’d all been overjoyed when his and Sandy’s friendship blossomed into something more serious. Whereas Ellie was their surrogate daughter, Todd was like another son and their joy at the news they were to gain him officially as their son-in-law had now been replaced by the fear that they might lose him altogether.
‘It’s OK, Mom,’ Ben whispered. ‘He’s going to be just fine.’ Molly issued a small sob that in turn released more. She began to shake under her son’s strong embrace. Gently, he led her to the chair and sat on the arm beside her. He didn’t really know what to say so he said nothing, and just held her.
‘They were so happy!’ Molly cried, ‘They had their whole lives ahead of them!’
‘And they still have! Nothing’s changed that. Todd is going to be just fine and they’re still going to get married and have seventeen kids and three dogs and then ask you to babysit!’
Molly smiled, fear in her eyes. ‘Do you really think so?’
‘Yeah, I really do,’ Ben answered honestly. There was no other choice than to believe it.
‘I’m so worried.’
‘I know.’
‘She won’t talk to anyone.’
‘I know. It’s just her way of dealing with it. She’s trying to be brave so we won’t worry.’
‘But she doesn’t have to be brave, Ben! She’s my baby girl! That’s what I’m here for!’
‘I know Mama, I know.’
*
Ben fiddled with the crystal stem of the wineglass, a thousand thoughts turning over in his mind. Through the window he could see his parents on the swing of the back porch, nestling against one another, exchanging fears and hopes in whispered voices. They’d asked him to join them but he’d declined, feeling that they should be able to say everything they wanted to to each other in private. As big as he was, and as old as he was, they’d still want to try and protect him – put him before themselves. But right now, they needed their own space and time as each of them tried to process the situation. Taking another sip, he set the glass back down on the table. He couldn’t remember a time he’d felt so helpless. Or so alone.
As he sat back up, a picture on the wall caught his eye. It had been taken years ago. God! How young they all looked, he thought, smiling at the memory. Suddenly it struck him …
‘The number you are calling …’ Ben debated whether to leave a message as the automated voice continued on. ‘Leave a message after the – Hello?’ A human voice interrupted the answer machine. ‘Hello?’ it said again when there was no reply.
‘Ellie?’
‘Who’s calling?’ She sounded wary.
‘Ellie? It’s Ben. Ben Danvers.’ The relief at hearing her voice was incredible. There was a slight pause.
‘What’s happened?’ Ben started from the beginning and explained that he’d thought perhaps if he could get her to call Sandy, she might open up a bit. If she was going to talk to anyone, it’d be Ellie. They’d supported each other from their early years and Ellie was the one person Sandy wouldn’t feel she had to be brave for. Her brother felt it had to be worth a shot.
‘Truth is, I really don’t know what else to try. You’re kind of my last hope. She’s just ignoring her phone mostly, but if she heard your ringtone … maybe …?’
‘Yes, of course. Is there anything else I can do?’
‘Hope and pray with the rest of us.’
‘That goes without saying.’ She paused. ‘Ben, are you OK?’
‘Yeah. Don’t worry about me.’ There was a lightness to his reply that he didn’t feel.
‘Well, I’m not entirely sure I believe that so I’m sending you a hug down the line anyway.’ He smiled. Sandy and Ellie’s standard phone hug.
