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The tension in his shoulders increased but he chose not to respond to that. ‘That is not important right now. What is important is finding her. If this marriage does not go ahead there will be serious diplomatic consequences.’
‘Diplomatic consequences?’ Avery rolled her eyes in exasperation at his priorities. ‘No wonder Kalila left—it’s not very romantic, is it?’
‘I’m surprised you’re even able to recognise a romantic.’ He stood like a conqueror, powerful legs spread apart as he stared down at the view.
‘Why? Because I’m not romantic myself? We’re not talking about me.’ Reflecting on the fact that men could be truly clueless when it came to women, she tried to control her emotions. ‘She really gave you no clue that she felt this way? The two of you have known each other for years.’
‘We’ve barely spoken five words to each other.’
Avery hid her surprise. ‘Oh.’ So if he didn’t love Kalila, why had he been in such a hurry to marry her? Only one explanation presented itself. They’d broken up. He was angry. He’d done it to hurt her.
‘On the few occasions she spoke to me, she usually just agreed with whatever I was saying.’
Numb, Avery thought about all the lively debates they’d shared on every topic from economics to human rights and wondered how a man like Mal could be happy with a wife whose sole purpose in life was to agree with him.
He’d be bored rigid.
And it would serve him right if he were consigned to a life of misery for taking this enormous step just to score points against her.
‘If she’s that obedient maybe you should have just ordered her to “sit” and “stay”.’
‘This is not the time for sarcasm. I came to see if you could shed any light on her whereabouts.’
‘I can’t. And truly I cannot imagine why you would ask me.’ And now she was just desperate for him to leave, not just because of the way he made her feel but because she wanted to call Kalila and make a few enquiries of her own.
It wasn’t right that Kalila should be used as a pawn in their fight.
‘You and I were friends once—’ He turned his head to look at her and just for a moment she saw the past in his eyes. ‘Good friends.’
What he’d introduced into the room was more frightening than any dragon. ‘Mal—’
‘I’m asking you as a friend. There are few enough people I can trust in my life but, despite everything, I do trust you. Whatever happened between us, I still trust you and I realise that this situation is potentially awkward—’ His dark gaze fastened on her like some sort of high-tech imaging device designed to penetrate flesh and bone in the search for truth. ‘If you still had feelings for me I would never have involved you. You ended our relationship so I assumed that wasn’t the case. If I was wrong about that then tell me now.’
Tell him what? That she dreamed about him every night? That she found it hard to focus and that it took her twice as long to accomplish simple tasks because she was preoccupied? That in the months following their break-up she’d barely recognised the woman she’d become?
Even now, she sometimes looked in the mirror and saw a stranger staring back at her.
Avery’s mouth was dry. Her heart was bumping against her chest so hard she was surprised he couldn’t see it. ‘If you still had feelings for me—’ No mention of his feelings. Which shouldn’t have surprised her and certainly shouldn’t have hurt. If he’d had feelings for her he wouldn’t have been able to move with such ease from one woman to another.
‘I don’t have feelings.’ She adopted the chilly tone she used when men tried to get too close to her at functions. ‘My inability to help you has nothing to do with our history, but the fact that I have no useful information.’
‘What did you talk about when you were together?’
‘I can’t remember—’ she didn’t want to remember because talking to his bride had been like sticking knives into herself ‘—shoes, dresses and education for women. She never talked about running away.’ Or had she? The ghost of a memory flitted into her head. Avery gave a tiny frown and Mal spotted the change in her instantly, pouncing like a lion on a gazelle.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’ She shook her head. ‘I—’
‘“Nothing” is all I have to go on right now.’
‘Is there a chance she might have gone into the desert?’
Mal’s expression changed. His eyes were shuttered. ‘Definitely not. Kalila hates the desert.’
‘I know.’ And she’d always thought it really odd that a girl raised in that landscape could loathe it. Even more strange that she’d agreed to marry a man whose love for the desert was widely known. ‘She told me how much it scared her—’ She broke off, an uncomfortable memory pricking her conscience.
His eyes narrowed as he registered the guilt in her face. ‘And what advice did you offer on that topic?’
Avery felt her cheeks heat. ‘We might have had a conversation about facing our fears,’ she muttered. ‘Just a short one.’
His mouth tightened ominously. ‘And?’
‘And nothing. I just said that the best way to get over being afraid of something is to just do it, which actually is very sound advice, but obviously that comment wasn’t directed specifically at her.’ But what if she’d taken it that way? Avery shifted uncomfortably, her guilt trebling as she watched the colour drain from his handsome face.
‘You told her that she should go into the desert alone?’
‘No, of course not!’ But Avery felt a stab of panic as she realised how her words could have been interpreted. ‘I just suggested that sometimes it’s empowering to do something that scares you. That you learn you can cope with it and you come out stronger.’
‘Or you come out dead. Do you realise how dangerous the desert is for someone with no experience or expertise in desert survival?’
‘Yes! And I don’t know why you’re blaming me!’ Her voice rose. ‘I did not tell her to go into the desert alone.’
‘Then let’s hope that isn’t what she’s done. She would last five minutes.’ Anxiety stamped into his features, Mal pulled out his phone and made a call, talking rapidly to his security team while Avery stood there, an agonized witness to his obvious worry and feeling hideously responsible for the part she’d possibly played.
What if Kalila really had taken her literally and gone into the desert alone?
Surely she wouldn’t have done anything so foolish. Would she?
Her brain argued it back and forth and eventually she pressed her fingers to her forehead as if by doing so she might be able to shut down her thoughts. ‘Look, maybe I can—’
‘You’ve done enough. Thank you for your help. You’ve told me all I need to know.’ He was chillingly formal. There was a hardness to him that she didn’t remember ever seeing before. He was tough, yes, and she knew that most people found him intimidating, but she never had. And he hadn’t found her intimidating either. Unlike many men, he hadn’t been daunted by her success and that had been so refreshing.
‘This is not my fault.’ But her voice lacked conviction because deep down she was afraid that it was at least partially her fault. Had she unwittingly put the idea in Kalila’s head? ‘And if that is what she’s done, then maybe it isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe this will build her confidence in herself. I think it was very brave of her to go into the desert if that is what she’s done …’ Her voice tailed off as he turned on her savagely.
‘Brave?’ Contempt dripped from him. ‘Will you think she’s “brave” when she’s been bitten by a scorpion? Caught in a sandstorm? Drowned in a flash flood?’
Guilt ignited her own temper. ‘Maybe she’ll surprise you. And maybe the experience will be the making of her. Maybe it will give her the courage to stand up for herself and tell you what she wants. And whether it does or doesn’t, you should ask yourself why she finds the prospect of those things less scary than marriage. She’s run into the desert to get away from you, Mal!’
The truth earned her a fierce look. ‘You are assuming that her disappearance is some sort of statement about our relationship.’
‘Well, that’s how it looks from where I’m standing.’
‘She agreed to this. She wanted this marriage.’
‘How would you know? Did you even ask her? Or did you “assume” like you always assume. Maybe she didn’t want this marriage and she was afraid to tell you.’ Avery knew she should stop talking. Stop now, before something was said that couldn’t be unsaid, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘Maybe marriage was the last thing she wanted.’
‘Not every woman sees marriage as captivity to be avoided at all costs.’ His eyes clashed with hers and her heart started to race because suddenly they weren’t talking about Kalila.
They were sparring, as they’d always sparred. The only difference was that this encounter wasn’t going to end with their mouths and bodies locked together. And he was clearly thinking along the same lines because a tiny frown appeared between those bold black eyebrows and his eyes darkened dangerously.
The air was stifling.
Avery wondered how the conversation had shifted from safe territory to unsafe territory. Had that been her fault or his?
‘We were talking about Kalila.’ She snapped the words and then hated herself for appearing anything other than calm in his presence.
‘Yes. Kalila.’ His voice was thick and it was clear he wasn’t faring any better than she was with the direction the conversation had taken.
‘All I’m saying is that maybe she expressed her opinion in the only way she was able. She voted with her feet. I don’t know anything about the politics of this situation, nor do I want to, but you asked me what I thought and—’
‘No, I didn’t. I already know your position on marriage so I would never ask. Our opinions on that subject are in direct opposition, as we both know.’
Why did he keep bringing the subject back to her when it should have been his bride-to-be that they were discussing?
‘As you rightly point out, I am unlikely to have the faintest clue what Kalila is feeling. But it’s obvious she’s panicking about the wedding.’ And now perhaps she was lying in the desert, gasping with thirst or worse … Perhaps she was already unconscious, her frail body being pecked by giant birds.
Crap.
‘What is obvious to me is that she has indeed followed your advice and gone into the desert. It would explain why we can find no trace of her in the city.’ Anger shone in his eyes. ‘I suppose it’s too much to ask to expect you to know exactly where she went? Was there a particular place that you recommended as perfect for her to “face her fears”?’
Avery squirmed. ‘No! But maybe I could—’
‘You’ve already done more than enough.’ He strode towards the door. ‘Thank you for your time. I know how precious it is, so feel free to bill me.’
So that was it. He was leaving.
The pressure in her throat increased. ‘Mal—’
‘I have to go. I do not want to leave this innocent girl out there at the mercy of the desert and the capricious whims of the man who she is unfortunate enough to have as a father. She is extremely vulnerable.’
Avery felt something twist inside her. She felt an irrational spurt of jealousy for the woman who had dragged such tender feelings out of a man known for his lack of sentimentality. Mal was tough. A soldier and a skilled diplomat, used to dealing with the toughest of adversaries. She’d never seen him reveal any soft, sensitive feelings before. The fact that he was doing so now for another woman made her insides ache.
Whatever his reasons for marrying Kalila, it seemed he did care for her.
Any tension between them had been burned away by that exchange and now he was chillingly detached. ‘I will let you know if the wedding party is likely to proceed. In the meantime you can put your arrangements on hold and invoice me for any costs incurred to date.’
‘For goodness’ sake, stop talking about money! I don’t care about the money. I’m worried about Kalila, too. Wait!’
‘I have a desert to search.’
‘Then I’ll search it with you.’ The words came tumbling out of her mouth and she didn’t know which one of them was the more surprised. He turned to face her, incredulity lighting his eyes.
‘I beg your pardon?’
Avery took a step backwards but the words were out there now and they couldn’t be withdrawn. She couldn’t believe she’d actually said it. A moment ago she hadn’t been able to wait for him to leave and now she was suggesting travelling into the desert with him? What the hell was she doing? When their relationship had crashed she’d almost lost everything. Everything she’d worked so hard to build. What they’d shared had been so intense, so powerful, and here she was volunteering to risk exposing those raw tender feelings again, and all so that she could help him marry another woman.
Avery wanted to pull the words back but her conscience wouldn’t let her. ‘If Kalila had thought she could talk to you, then she would have talked to you. If you do find her—’
‘When I find her—’ His eyes promised all sorts of dire punishments if that didn’t happen and Avery swallowed.
‘Of course, that’s what I meant. When you find her, you’ll need to have a proper conversation, but what if she won’t talk to you? She’s never managed to talk to you before, has she? Why would she talk to you now? She’s more likely to talk to me.’
There was a long, throbbing silence.
‘Let me get this straight—’ dark lashes shielded the expression in those ebony eyes ‘—you’re offering to help find my bride and then talk her into marrying me?’
‘Absolutely.’ Avery forced the words out and he stared at her for a long moment as if he were trying to peel away the layers and see beneath the façade she presented to the world. ‘Why not?’
Her question was greeted by prolonged silence and then he straightened his shoulders. ‘I thought maybe—’ his voice was rough ‘—it might be difficult for you to see me marrying another woman.’
‘Difficult?’ She hoped her laugh sounded more convincing to him than it did to her. ‘Why would you think that? Our relationship is in the past, Mal. No one is more enthusiastic to see you married than I am. How else am I going to organize an after-wedding-party and bill you for shedloads of money? Let’s get this done.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘YOU said what? OK, now I know for sure you’re mad. You’re going into the desert to find a wimpy princess who doesn’t have the courage to speak her own mind so that she can marry the man you were in love with?’ Jenny lay sprawled on the bed in Avery’s apartment, watching as her friend packed. ‘It’s like something out of a really bad soap opera. Scratch that—no one could make this stuff up. It is going to end in tears. And those are going to be your tears, by the way.’
‘I’ve never cried over a man in my life. And stop saying I was in love with him.’ A skilled packer, Avery rolled a couple of shirts to prevent them creasing. ‘And Kalila isn’t wimpy. It’s not her fault if she’s been bullied into submission all her life by her father. I feel sorry for her. Better not to have a father around than have a bad one.’
‘Let’s leave your father issues out of this. There’s enough going on without that.’
‘I do not have father issues.’
Jenny rearranged the pillows and cushions on the bed and slumped against them. ‘What I don’t understand is why the Prince would even ask you to do this. That must have taken some nerve.’
‘He didn’t ask. I offered. Without a bride he can’t get married and I want him married.’
‘You want him married?’
‘Of course.’ Avery added two pairs of trousers to her packing. Once he was married there would be no going back. If nothing else could kill her feelings for Mal, then surely marriage would. It would bring the finality she’d been looking for. ‘And I want the party to go ahead. It’s bad for business if a party is cancelled.’
‘So you’re doing this for the business?’
‘I’m doing it because I’m worried about Kalila. You should have seen the way he looked at me when I told him what I’d said to her. As if I’d pushed her into the lion’s cage and locked the door from the outside. I like her.’
‘Really? She sounds like a wimp to me.’
‘I think she’s a victim of her circumstances. She’s sweet. And yes, I feel responsible.’ Avery sorted through her make-up, picking out the bare minimum she needed in order to not look like a train wreck. ‘And guilty. That is the last time I ever tell anyone to face their fears.’
Jenny picked up a lipgloss and tried it on the back of her hand. ‘You’re not responsible for the fact she clearly has appalling judgement and did something rash and stupid. Nice colour, by the way.’
‘Maybe I am responsible.’ Avery rescued the lipgloss and added it to her bag. ‘I was the one who put the idea in her head. Without me, she wouldn’t even have thought of doing something so radical.’ She packed carefully, referring to the list on her phone, knowing that the right clothing might be all that stood between her and an unpleasant experience in the desert. She picked items designed to cover her, not just because of concessions towards modesty or even protection against the sun, but because she wanted to do nothing that might be remotely described as provocative. The last thing she needed was Mal thinking she was trying to attract his attention.
‘This is ridiculous. You’re running a business, Avery. You don’t have time to gallivant off after some woman you barely know with a guy you used to date. You should have—what are those—?’ Jenny stared in alarm as Avery packed her sturdy hiking boots.
‘“Those” are going to save me from snake bites and scorpion stings.’
Jenny recoiled. ‘OK, forget my last sentence. No wonder the Princess ran away. She isn’t wimpy, she’s sensible. She’s thinking long-term. Better a brief stint in the desert now than a lifetime of the place. If I had to wear boots like that I wouldn’t marry the Prince either. It was meant to be a glass slipper, honey, not a hiking boot.’
