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Wishing her knees would stop shaking, she led him through to the grotto and laughed aloud at the look of naked incredulity that flickered across his handsome face as he took in the metres of red satin and tinsel and the fake snow. She’d had the same reaction when she’d first seen the interior of the grotto. But the children loved it. Aggie was already sitting next to Father Christmas, her eyes sparkling and her list in her hand.
‘Aggie, take your feet off the seat,’ Chloe murmured, but her little sister ignored her.
‘My feet are clean because these are my absolute bestest shoes.’
Chloe sighed. ‘It’s “best”, not “bestest”.’
Aggie ignored her. ‘My list is quite long so I hope you’re not in a hurry, although it doesn’t really matter if you are because I can talk very quickly.’ She snuggled a little closer to Father Christmas, her smile wide and her gaze trusting. ‘It’s not all for me. Some of it’s for other people. So I hope I can have a bit more time because I’m doing the talking for three and that’s a lot of people. Is that OK with you?’
Father Christmas blinked several times and his mouth twitched under his thick white beard. ‘That’s fine with me.’
‘I have a list here. Do you want to read or shall I just tell you?’
‘Aggie, just stop talking,’Chloe breathed, folding her arms across her chest and sending a mortified glance towards her father. ‘She never stops talking. No one else has a chance of speaking!’
Lara watched the girls and felt envy slide through her body. Christian Blake had a noisy, loving family. Two gorgeous children.
One day, she promised herself. One day maybe she’d find a man with no flaws and it would be her queuing to see Father Christmas with her two wonderful children.
Or four, she thought with humour, if the psychic turned out to be right. Mindful of the queue building outside, she stepped forward. ‘Let’s hear your list, Aggie.’
‘OK. Well, I’d really, really like a pet but I know I probably won’t get that because Daddy always says that, if I can’t even keep my bedroom tidy, how am I ever going to clean out a cage?’ Aggie peeped at her father hopefully but the measuring look that Christian gave her in return was sufficient for Lara to know that pets was a subject that had been discussed and dismissed on many occasions. ‘No pet, then,’Aggie murmured, subsiding in her seat, ‘but if I really can’t have a pet then there are other things…’ She read out a lengthy list, ignoring Chloe’s worried glance towards the clock on the wall. Then she handed the list to Father Christmas. ‘I’ll give you this so that you don’t have to remember it all in your head. It’s in order, but just to remind you, my best thing would be the bike. And help unpacking the rest of the boxes in my bedroom because since we moved to our new house I can’t find any of my favourite toys, which seems a terrible waste.’
Father Christmas nodded slowly. ‘Well, I think I got all that. What about your big sister? What does she need?’
Chloe flushed. ‘Nothing.’
‘Go on, Chlo,’ Christian urged quietly. ‘What do you want, sweetheart?’
Lara glanced towards him, surprised by the warmth of his voice. At work in the emergency department he delivered instructions and commands in a detached, almost cold tone. He was reassuring to patients when the situation demanded it, but no one would have described him as touchy-feely. In fact, some of her colleagues had commented that Christian Blake was a machine, completely incapable of feeling emotion.
But she knew now that they were wrong.
Christian Blake wasn’t incapable of feeling emotion.
‘I know what she wants,’ Aggie whispered, kneeling up on the seat so that she could whisper in Father Christmas’s ear. ‘What she wants is for Alex Gregg to ask her to dance at the school disco. Can you fix that?’
‘Aggie!’ Visibly embarrassed, Chloe turned to her father in horror. ‘Can’t you stop her talking? All she ever does is talk!’
Aggie’s eyes were wide. ‘You do want that, you know you do! And there’s something else.’ Undaunted by her sister’s quelling look, Aggie smiled happily up at Father Christmas. ‘Just one more thing, and it isn’t for me.’
Father Christmas stroked his beard. ‘Who is it for this time?’
‘My dad.’
Christian tensed. ‘Aggie, I don’t need anything,’ he said swiftly. ‘And that’s enough now. It’s someone else’s turn to talk to Father Christmas.’
‘No. It’s your turn but I know you won’t ask for yourself.’ Her chin set at a stubborn angle, Aggie turned back to Father Christmas. ‘Daddy needs a new wife. You see, our mummy left us.’
A shocked silence descended on the grotto.
Stunned by that unexpected revelation, Lara couldn’t speak or move.
Then Father Christmas cleared his throat. ‘She left you?’
‘Yes.’ Apparently unaware of the tension around her, Aggie continued. ‘So now we don’t have a mummy and that makes it really hard at home. We have nannies or housekeepers but they’re not the same and daddy works so hard in the hospital and that’s why we haven’t unpacked the boxes yet. What he needs is a miracle. I read about them in a book. A miracle is something amazing that changes everything. If I’m extra-good between now and Christmas, could I have a small miracle?’
Father Christmas appeared to have been struck dumb, so Lara stepped forward, blinking back the tears that had somehow sprung into her eyes.
‘The thing about life, Aggie,’ she said softly, trying to keep the choke out of her voice, ‘is that you never know where the next miracle is going to come from.’
‘Well, I don’t care where it comes from but I know it has to come soon. My friend Katherine at school—her mummy went to heaven and now she has a new mummy but I don’t know where she came from. I want to get Daddy a new wife. I want to do an advert like we do for the nannies, but he won’t do an advert.’
‘She needs to be gagged,’ Chloe muttered, shrinking against her father, her expression acutely embarrassed. ‘It’s the only way. I’m buying her a massive gag for Christmas. And it’s not coming off until she learns that silence is golden.’
Christian rubbed a hand over his face and gave a slow shake of his head, clearly struggling to calculate the best way of handling the situation.
‘What’s gagged?’Aggie looked puzzled, clearly oblivious to the tension that her innocent request had created. ‘I just want something nice for Daddy. What’s wrong with that?’
Expecting Christian to be furious by his daughter’s very frank and public admission, Lara stole a glance in his direction. But she didn’t see anger. Instead, she saw concern, gentleness and a touch of sadness. A lump settled in her throat as she watched him step forward and lift his little girl into his arms.
‘I don’t need a new wife. That isn’t the answer.’ His voice was soft and he stroked a hand over his little girl’s blonde curls. ‘And I don’t understand why you’d think that, Aggie. We’re doing fine, aren’t we? What’s wrong, sweetheart? What’s missing?’
‘It’s just that I don’t want you to be lonely. You need your own special friend,’Aggie whispered, sliding her arms round his neck. ‘Chloe has Anna and I have Katherine, but you don’t have anyone all for you. If you had a wife, then you’d have someone.’
Christian hesitated. ‘It isn’t that simple.’
‘You mean because of us? Mummy left because of us, didn’t she?’Aggie’s voice wobbled and she clung to her father like a monkey, her head on his shoulder. ‘It’s my fault because I talk so much. I do try not to talk but then I sort of want to burst.’
Lara blinked rapidly to try and clear the tears that threatened to obscure her vision. Should she leave the grotto? She knew that Christian Blake was a fiercely private man. He never, ever talked about anything personal. He must be horrified that his little daughter had made such a frank confession in front of a colleague.
But Christian wasn’t looking at her. In fact, he didn’t even seem aware of her presence. His only interest seemed to be in his little daughter and her feelings.
He hugged her tightly, holding her easily in his arms. ‘Aggie, sweetheart, that’s enough now. Father Christmas doesn’t need to know all the details of our life.’
‘Father Christmas doesn’t dish out wives and mothers.’ Chloe cast a worried glance towards her father and reached forward to grab Aggie. ‘I’ll take her. Come on, you. We’ve finished here. We need to go home because Daddy needs to go back to work.’
They posed for the obligatory photograph and then Chloe led Aggie outside.
Lara didn’t move.
She didn’t know what to do or what to say. She felt as if she’d been eavesdropping on a private conversation. As though she’d witnessed something that she shouldn’t have witnessed.
She’d assumed he was happily married. Everyone had assumed the same thing. There had been no hints that his private life was in turmoil.
Was he separated or divorced?
What had gone wrong?
‘Daddy!’ Chloe burst back into the grotto, her blonde hair flying around her face, her tone urgent. ‘You have to come now! There’s a sick girl out here. She was in the queue and then she sort of dropped to the floor and now she’s sort of shaking! You have to come!’
CHAPTER THREE (#u11bf8d95-6016-5499-ad5d-8f85eeb8a47a)
A SICK girl?
Lara glanced at Christian but he was already moving towards the grotto entrance, his response as swift and decisive as it would have been in the emergency department. ‘Lara. Come with me. Chloe? Keep an eye on your sister.’
He strode out of the grotto towards the little crowd that had gathered, his black coat swirling around his legs as he walked.
‘Someone, help us! Help us!’White with terror, the mother was on her knees by the little girl, trying to lift the child as her little body jerked. ‘Olivia? Olivia?’ The little girl’s body jerked and convulsed beneath her hands and the mother started to sob and scream. ‘She’s having some sort of fit.’
‘Don’t hold her. Don’t try and restrain her or you might hurt her. I’m a doctor.’ Christian dropped to his haunches and put a hand on the mother’s shoulder. ‘Lara, can you get these people away from here? We don’t need an audience.’ His voice was sharp and Lara immediately moved everyone back and then dropped to her knees next to him.
‘Someone is calling an ambulance.’
‘I need something to put underneath her. This floor is hard.’ Christian checked the child’s airway and swiftly they manoeuvred her into the recovery position.
The store manager hurried up, clutching a soft blanket. ‘Is this any use?’
‘Perfect.’ He slid it under the child’s body.
‘She’s very hot. It must be a febrile convulsion. Being wrapped up in warm layers in this store and standing in the queue, overheating,’ Lara murmured, touching the child’s forehead and glancing at the mother. ‘Has she been ill?’
‘She’s had a runny nose but nothing too bad, and she was desperate to see Father Christmas. I thought it would distract her.’
‘You’re right about the warm layers, Lara. We need to try and take some of them off, or at least open them up.’ Christian slid the coat from the little girl and opened her cardigan.
‘It’s freezing outside.’ The mother bit her lip. ‘I didn’t want her to get cold. She kept shivering.’
‘She has a temperature,’ Lara said gently, ‘and it’s important that we cool her down. Little children aren’t able to control their temperature in the way that adults do. How old is she?’
‘Eleven months. I forgot to give her Calpol in the rush to leave the house.’
‘Was she drowsy before the seizure?’
‘No. Just a bit cross. That’s why I thought it would cheer her up to come here. I did the wrong thing. I’m an awful mother.’ The mother’s face scrunched up and she started to cry. Chloe stepped forward and put a hand on her arm.
‘I think you’re a lovely mother. What a treat to bring her here. We’ve just been and it was brilliant. Try not to worry.’ Her voice was warm and confident. ‘My dad’s a doctor and he’ll fix it. He’s very clever and he always knows what to do when people are ill. Why don’t you write her name and age down on a piece of paper because the paramedics will need that when they arrive.’
Lara stared, taken aback by the girl’s poise and maturity, but Christian didn’t seem surprised. Instead, he glanced across at his elder daughter. ‘Chloe—go down to the main entrance and wait for the ambulance. You can tell the paramedics where to come to. It will save time. Tell Aggie to sit still and not run off anywhere.’
‘OK, Dad.’ Chloe hurried off and Christian turned back to the child.
‘The fit has stopped. Has this ever happened before?’
The mother finished scribbling on a piece of paper and shook her head. ‘Never.’
‘I think the fit was caused by her high temperature. Given that it’s the first time she’s responded in that way, it’s best if we take her to hospital to check her over. You say that she’s had a cold. Anything else? Ear infection? Bad throat? Off her food?’
‘None of those things. She was a bit fractious yesterday and then last night her temperature went up. But she’s been talking about Father Christmas all week and I thought she’d be fine.’
‘Let’s strip her down to her vest and nappy,’ Christian glanced up as the paramedics arrived with Chloe. ‘Hi, there, Jack.’
‘Dr Blake.’ The paramedic flashed him a friendly smile and put his bag down on the floor next to them. ‘I thought you were at the hospital today. Sneaking off to see Father Christmas?’
‘You know me.’ Christian gave a wry smile. ‘Can’t keep away.’ Now that the convulsion had stopped, he quickly examined the little girl. ‘This looks like a febrile convulsion, Jack. We’ll take her in, just so that the paeds can check her over properly and keep an eye on her for a while.’
‘Right. That girl of yours told us what to expect. She’s a cracker is your Chloe.’
‘This child needs to go into the unit. I’ve got no equipment with me so I can’t examine her properly and, anyway, she’s better off in hospital if this is her first febrile convulsion. Lara, can you call Paeds and warn them?’ He pulled a mobile phone out of his pocket and handed it to her while the paramedic looked on in surprise.
‘Lara! I didn’t recognise you.’ His gaze was startled. ‘What—? I mean, why—?’
‘Don’t ask,’ Christian advised dryly, checking the child’s pulse rate again. ‘She’s coming round. She will be drowsy for a while,’ he warned the mother and she gave a nod.
‘Will they do loads of tests?’ Her voice was a whisper and she looked shocked and terrified as her little girl was lifted onto the trolley. ‘Could she have meningitis or something? You read about it all the time and it terrifies me.’
‘She isn’t showing any signs of meningitis but she’ll be checked properly by a paediatrician when she gets to the hospital.’
Lara spoke to the paediatrician at the hospital and then handed the phone back to Christian. ‘They’re expecting her.’
‘Good.’He rose to his feet and slipped the phone back into his pocket while Lara stood there, wanting to help but not knowing how best to do it.
‘I can go in the ambulance with her if you like. You need to get your girls home.’
‘You’d risk walking into the emergency department dressed like a fairy?You’d never live it down.’
Lara smiled. ‘It’s fine. If anyone teases me, I can just turn them into a frog with my wand.’
‘We’ll take it from here,’ Jack said cheerfully. ‘We’ll see you back at the hospital.’
The paramedics left with the sick child and the mother, and the crowd that had gathered around them gradually dispersed.
Lara glanced across the room towards his children. Chloe was holding onto Aggie’s hand. ‘You have wonderful children, Dr Blake.’
‘Yes.’ He looked at them for a moment and then stirred. ‘I need to get back to the department. You know how busy it is at the moment.’
‘Do you want me to come in to work? Take the girls home for you? There must be something I can do.’ She wanted to do something. Wanted to say something. But they were standing in a busy department store, surrounded by Christmas shoppers.
Christian’s expression was guarded. ‘I don’t need help,’ he said quietly, ‘and I can take care of my girls.’
‘I’m sure you can. But who takes care of you, Christian?’The words flew from her mouth before she could stop them and he lifted an eyebrow.
‘I think I’m probably old enough to take care of myself.’
She flushed. ‘Everyone needs to be loved. Oh, God, I’m starting to sound like my mother. I’m just saying that you need to be looked after, too. Not that I’m trying to suggest that I…’ Her colour deepened as she realised how her words had sounded. ‘I didn’t exactly mean that I—’
‘Staff Nurse King.’ His voice was soft and the expression in his eyes was remote and discouraging. ‘Take my advice and quit now before you say anything else that you don’t mean.’
