Sleepless In Manhattan

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“So you’re setting up business on your own.” Maria sat down opposite her. “And you’re feeling scared and wondering if you’ve done the right thing.”

Paige’s stomach rolled. She was glad she’d refused breakfast. “I’m excited.”

Maria picked up her own coffee. “You don’t have to keep up a brave face with me.”

Paige gave up trying. “It’s scary. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Tell me I’m being pathetic.”

“Why would I tell you that? You’re being honest. Feeling scared is natural. It doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision.”

“Are you sure? I’m worried I’m being selfish, that I’m doing this for me. I spent my whole childhood with other people in control of what happened to me, and I want to feel as if I have some of the control now. Even if that means failing. But if I fail, I take my friends down with me.”

“Why would you fail?”

“Jake will tell you how many businesses fail.”

Maria sipped her coffee. “So it’s my boy who has been scaring you?”

Boy?

Paige pushed aside a vision of strong shoulders and hard muscle. “He laid out the facts. The facts were pretty scary.”

“Don’t let that put you off. If anyone can help and advise you, he can. It’s because of him that I have this place. He bought it, then he taught me how to run it and spent time with Carlo showing him how to do the financials.” Maria put her cup down. “Talk to Jake. You’ve been friends a long time. You know he would help you if you were in trouble.”

Paige knew she’d have to be desperate before she’d ask Jake for more help, but she couldn’t explain why to Maria. “I’m not in trouble. I am worried about what happens if this doesn’t work out. Eva needs the money badly and so does Frankie.” It was the thing that bothered her the most. “What if I let them down? It isn’t just about me. I’m asking them to take a risk.”

“You’re asking them to take a chance. Life is all about taking chances.”

“But this was my decision. My dream. I swept them along with me.” And it was the thought of what would happen if it didn’t work out that had kept her awake for most of the night. “Frankie is brilliant with flowers and gardens and Eva is a fabulous cook, but in the end I’m the one who has to bring in the business. It’s all down to me. What if I can’t do it? What if I’m being selfish?”

Maria fiddled with her empty cup. “The night before I opened the restaurant I didn’t sleep at all. I thought to myself, ‘what if no one comes.’ It was Jake who told me that my job wasn’t to worry about people coming, but to concentrate on doing what I do well. Making great food in great surroundings. And he was right. You know you’re good at your job, Paige. Do it well, and people will eventually come to you.”

“It feels like a big risk.”

“There’s always risk in life.” Maria reached across the table and took her hand. “When my grandparents came here from Sicily in 1915 they had nothing. They had to pay back the cost of their passage and for years they lived in poverty, but they chose to come because they believed they could have a better life.”

“Now I’m feeling guilty for moaning.”

“You’re not moaning. You’re worried. And that’s natural, but life doesn’t stand still.” Maria squeezed her hand. “There is always change. Some people try and avoid it, but it finds them anyway. My grandparents wanted this even though they knew it wouldn’t be easy. For years we struggled. I never dreamed I would have my own restaurant with my family. We had nothing and now we have—” she glanced around the restaurant “—everything. Because of my Jake and his ambitions. Do you know how many people laughed at him when he knocked on their doors? So many. But he kept knocking, and now they are the ones knocking on his. So don’t ever tell me a dream can’t come true.”

“But Jake is brilliant with computers. He has a real talent. What do I do? I organize things for people.” Paige finished her coffee, questioning the decision she’d made. “A million people can do what I do but hardly anyone does what Jake can do. That’s why they knock on his door.”

“Plenty of people can cook, but still my restaurant is full every night. You underestimate yourself. You have a way with people, an eye for detail and good organizational skills. And you have passion and determination. You’re a hard worker.”

Was it enough? Would that be enough?

“Losing my job has knocked my confidence but confidence is exactly what I need if I’m going to persuade people to give business to Urban Genie.” Paige stared into her cup. “How do you act confident when you don’t feel it?”

“You pretend. You pretend all the time, Paige.” Maria’s voice was quiet and Paige shifted awkwardly.

“Some of the time. And rarely with you.” She was honest with Maria on every topic except one. Maria had no idea how Paige had once felt about her son.

“Carry on doing that and then one day you’ll wake up and realize you’re not pretending anymore. That it’s real.”