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‘I’m Dr Hunter,’ Bryony said, holding out her hand. ‘I’ve been looking after Ella.’
‘Oh, God …’ he breathed out slowly, obviously trying to calm himself down. ‘I came as soon as Pam called me but I was at a meeting in Penrith and the traffic was awful.’
Bryony gave an understanding smile and slowly outlined Ella’s condition, careful to be realistic without painting too grim a picture.
‘So she’s on the ward?’ He ran a hand over the back of his neck and gave a shuddering sigh. ‘Sorry. I know I’m panicking like mad but she’s my baby and—’
‘It’s OK,’ Bryony said gently, putting a hand on his arm. ‘You’re her father and you’re entitled to be worried.’
His shoulders sagged and he looked exhausted. ‘You don’t know what worry is until you have kids, do you?’
Bryony thought of Lizzie and shook her head. ‘No,’ she agreed softly, ‘you certainly don’t.’
‘Do you have children yourself, Doctor?’
‘I have a little girl.’
They shared a smile of mutual understanding. ‘And the bond between a little girl and her daddy is so special, isn’t it?’
Bryony tensed and then she smiled. ‘It certainly is,’ she croaked, feeling as though she’d been showered with cold water. ‘Very special.’
She directed the man to the children’s ward and stared after him, feeling sick inside.
She loved Lizzie so fiercely that she rarely thought about the fact that her little girl didn’t have a father. She had plenty of father figures—her two brothers and Jack, and she’d always consoled herself that they were enough. But Lizzie obviously didn’t think so or why would she have asked for a father for Christmas?
Lizzie wanted the real thing. She wanted a father to tuck her up at night. A father who would read to her and play with her. A father who would panic and leave a meeting because she was sick.
Bryony gave a groan and covered her face with her hands. How was she ever going to satisfy Lizzie’s Christmas wish this year?
How was she going to produce a father when she didn’t even date men and hadn’t since Lizzie had been conceived? And not even then, really.
Bryony let her hands drop to her sides, torn with guilt at how selfish she’d been. Because of the way she felt about Jack, she’d shut men out of her life, never thinking about the long-term effect that would have on Lizzie.
It was true that she didn’t want a man in her life, but it was also true that Lizzie needed and wanted a father.
And suddenly Bryony made a decision.
She was going to stop dreaming about Jack Rothwell. She was going to stop noticing his broad shoulders. She was going to stop noticing the way his cheeks creased when he smiled. She was going to stop thinking about what he looked like with his shirt off. In fact, she was going to stop thinking about him altogether and start dating other men.
Finally she was going to get a life.
And Lizzie was going to get a daddy.
CHAPTER TWO
BRYONY paused outside the entrance to the pub, her breath clouding the freezing air. She could hear the muffled sounds of laughter and music coming from inside, and she lifted her chin and pushed open the door.
They were all there. The whole of the mountain rescue team, most of whom she’d known for years, crowding the bar and laughing together. In one corner of the bar a log fire crackled and the room was warm and welcoming.
‘It’s Blondie!’
There were good-natured catcalls from the moment they spotted her and Toby, the equipment officer, slipped off his stool and offered it to her with a flourish.
‘Hi, guys.’ She settled herself on the stool and smiled at the barman. ‘Hi, Geoff. The usual, please.’
He reached for a bottle of grapefruit juice. ‘On the hard stuff, Bryony?’
‘That’s me.’ Bryony nodded her thanks and lifted the glass in a salute. ‘Cheers, everyone. And happy birthday, Oliver.’
Her brother grinned. ‘Thanks, babe. You OK?’
‘I’m fine.’ In fact, she was better than fine. She was brilliant. And she was finally going to restart her life.
As if to test that resolve, Jack strolled over to her and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
‘What did the blonde say when she walked into the bar?’
‘Ouch,’ Bryony answered wearily, rolling her eyes in exasperation. ‘And, Jack, you really need some new jokes. You’re recycling them.’
He yawned. ‘Well, I’ve been telling them for twenty-two years—what do you expect?’
‘A bit of originality would be nice,’ she said mildly, taking another sip of her drink and making a point of not looking at him. She wasn’t going to notice Jack any more. There were plenty of men out there with good bodies. He wasn’t the only one. ‘Maybe I should dye my hair brown to help you out.’
‘Brown? Don’t you dare.’ Jack’s voice was husky and enticingly male. ‘If you dyed your hair brown, you’d ruin all my jokes. We love you the way you are.’
Bryony took a gulp of her drink. He didn’t love her. And he never would love her. Or, at least, not in the way she wanted him to love her.
‘Bry, are you free on Thursday or Friday?’ Oliver leaned across the bar and grabbed a handful of nuts. ‘Mum wants to cook me a birthday dinner, whole family and Jack in attendance.’
Bryony put her glass down on the bar. ‘Can’t do Thursday.’
Jack frowned. ‘You’re on an early shift. Why can’t you do it?’
Bryony hesitated. ‘Because I have a date,’ she said finally, and Oliver lifted his eyebrows.
‘A date? You have a date?’
Jack’s smile vanished like the sun behind a cloud. ‘What do you mean, you have a date?’ His voice was surprisingly frosty. ‘Since when did you go on dates?’
Bryony took a deep breath and decided she may as well tell all. ‘Since I saw Lizzie’s Christmas list.’
At the mention of Lizzie, Jack’s expression regained some of its warmth. ‘She’s made her list already?’
‘She has indeed.’
‘Don’t tell me.’ His voice was indulgent. ‘She wants something pink. A new pair of pink wings for her fairy costume?’
‘Nope.’
Oliver looked at her searchingly. ‘Well? We’re all dying to hear what she asked for. And what’s it got to do with you going on a date?’
Bryony sat still for a moment, studying her empty glass. ‘I’m going on a date,’ she said slowly, ‘because Lizzie wants a daddy.’ She looked up and gave them a bland smile. ‘Lizzie has asked for a daddy for Christmas.’
There was a long silence around the bar and the men exchanged looks.
It was Jack who eventually spoke first. ‘Does she realise that they’re not all they’re cracked up to be?’
There was bitterness in his tone and Bryony frowned slightly. She knew that his parents had divorced when he’d been eight and she also knew that it had been a hideously painful experience for Jack.
But it was unlike him to ever mention it.
Like most men, Jack Rothwell didn’t talk about his feelings.
‘A daddy?’ Oliver cleared his throat and exchanged looks with Tom. ‘Does she have anyone in particular in mind?’
Bryony shook her head. ‘No. She’s leaving the choice up to Santa, but Mum gave me the letter and she’s listed the qualities she’s looking for.’
‘She has?’ Oliver gave an amazed laugh and glanced round at the others. ‘And what are they?’
Bryony delved into her pocket and pulled out a rumpled piece of paper. She cleared her throat and started to read. ‘I want a daddy who is strong so that he can swing me in the garden. I want a daddy who is funny and makes jokes. I want a daddy who lets me watch television before school and who won’t make me eat sprouts because I hate them and I want a daddy who will meet me at the school gate and give me a hug like the other daddies sometimes do.’ Bryony broke off at that point and swallowed hard, aware of the stunned silence around her. ‘But most of all I want a daddy who will hug my mummy and stay with us for ever.’
No one spoke and Bryony gave a small shrug. ‘That’s it.’
She folded the paper carefully and put it back in her pocket, and Jack frowned.
‘I never knew she wanted someone to pick her up from school,’ he said gruffly, glancing between Oliver and Tom. ‘We could do something about that, guys.’
‘Sure.’ Tom nodded agreement immediately and Bryony lifted a hand.
‘Thank you, but no. That isn’t what she wants. In fact, that would probably make it worse because the person who is picking her up isn’t her daddy.’
Oliver frowned and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. ‘So where did it come from, this daddy business?’
‘I don’t know.’ Bryony shrugged. ‘I suppose she’s just getting to that age where children notice differences between themselves and others. Most of the kids in her class are in traditional families.’
‘You’ve been reading her too many fairy stories,’ Jack said darkly, and she shrugged.
‘She’s a little girl, Jack. Little girls dream of weddings.’
Oliver grinned at Tom. ‘Some big girls dream of weddings, too. I find it terrifying.’
‘Stop it.’ Bryony frowned in mock disapproval. ‘How my daughter has ever grown up to be remotely normal with you three around her is a mystery to me. She’s always asking me why none of you are married.’
‘Did you tell her that we’re too busy having fun?’ Tom drawled, and Bryony rolled her eyes.
‘Actually, I tell her that none of you have met the right woman yet, but that it’s bound to happen soon.’
‘Is it?’ Oliver gave a shudder, his expression comical. ‘I hope not.’
‘You’re awful. All three of you.’
Tom lifted an eyebrow in her direction. ‘Well, you’re not exactly an advert for relationships yourself, little sister. You haven’t been on a date since Lizzie was born.’
‘I know that. But that’s all going to change.’ Bryony lifted her chin. ‘I’ve decided that Lizzie needs a daddy.’
‘So what are you saying?’ Jack was staring at her, all traces of humour gone from his handsome face. ‘You’re going to go out there and marry the first guy you meet just so that she can have a daddy?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course not.’ Bryony lifted her chin and looked around her, her voice quiet but firm. ‘I’m just saying that I’m going to start dating again.’
Oliver glanced at Tom and shrugged. ‘Well, good for you.’
‘Yeah.’ Tom nodded and smiled at his sister. ‘I think it’s great. You’ve locked yourself up in a cupboard long enough. Get yourself out there, I say. Paint the town red. Or pink, if you’re using Lizzie’s colour scheme.’
Some of the other men in the team clapped her on the back and one or two made jokes about joining the queue to take her out.
Only Jack was silent, studying her with a brooding expression on his handsome face, his usual teasing smile notably absent. ‘You really think you can find her a daddy?’
‘I don’t know.’ Bryony gave a little shrug. ‘Maybe not. But if I don’t at least go on dates, it definitely won’t happen.’
When he finally spoke his tone was chilly. ‘So who’s your date with on Thursday?’
Bryony looked at him in confusion, thinking that she’d never heard Jack use that tone before. He sounded … angry. But why would he be angry? The others actually seemed pleased for her. But not Jack.
‘I’m not sure it’s any of your business,’ she teased him gently, trying to nudge their relationship back onto its usual platform, but on this occasion there was no answering smile.
‘I’m Lizzie’s godfather,’ he reminded her, his blue eyes glittering in the firelight and a muscle working in his jaw. ‘Who you choose as a daddy is very much my business.’
‘You want to interview the guys I date, Jack?’ She was still smiling, trying to keep it light, but he was glaring at her.
‘Maybe.’
Bryony gave a disbelieving laugh, her own smile fading rapidly. ‘You can’t be serious.’
‘You know absolutely nothing about the opposite sex, Blondie,’ he said coldly. ‘You’ve always refused to tell us who Lizzie’s father was but he isn’t around now which says quite a lot about your choice of men.’
Bryony gasped in shock. Lizzie’s father wasn’t a topic she discussed with anyone and Jack had never spoken to her like that before. He’d always been totally supportive of her status as a single mother.
‘I don’t know why you’re looking so disapproving,’ she said softly, aware that all the others had long since returned to their conversations and were no longer listening. Suddenly it was just the two of them and the tension in the atmosphere was increasing by the minute. ‘You date all the time.’
His mouth tightened. ‘I don’t have a seven-year-old daughter.’
‘But it’s because of her that I’m doing this!’
Jack picked up his glass from the bar, a muscle flickering in his darkened jaw. ‘That’s ridiculous. You think you can just get out there and produce a happy family like magic?’
She sighed, knowing what was behind his words. ‘No, I don’t think that, Jack. But I think that it’s time to see if I could maybe meet someone who seemed right for Lizzie and me.’
‘Your life runs very smoothly,’ he pointed out. ‘Why complicate things?’
