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Had he not listened to a word she’d said?
Apparently not, or he’d know that marriage didn’t interest her.
Love? Now, that was a different matter. She wanted love. What she didn’t want was a flamboyant public proposal. He was paying more attention to the guests than her, to the point that she wanted to wave her arms in the air and yell, Hello, I’m over here!
Beyond Richard’s shoulder she could see Alec Hunter and discovered he wasn’t laughing, either. He was standing in the same place, the collar of his black coat brushing against the dark shadow of his jaw. She would have drawn him as a vampire or a wraith, she thought. A creature of the night. Even still and silent he had presence, a quality that had no doubt contributed to his success as a TV presenter and his large female fan base.
Had he proposed to his ex-wife in public?
No, because despite his public persona, she knew he was intensely private.
“Skylar?” Richard’s smile was a little tense around the edges. “We’re all waiting for a response.”
All? She wondered at what point a proposal had become a group activity.
Her real response was, You have to be kidding me, but she didn’t want that to feature in the press reports of her event the following day.
Grateful for the years of practice in producing fake smiles, she gave one.
“This is a surprise.” Keeping the smile in place, she turned to the guests. “I hope you’ll excuse us. Richard and I need a little time alone.” She turned and walked through the gallery and into the storeroom that was next to an office.
Her heels tapped on the wooden floor. Her knees shook.
She hoped he was going to follow her because she didn’t want to say what needed to be said in public.
There was a click as he closed the door behind them. “Sky? What the hell are you doing?”
“No, Richard, the question is what are you doing?”
“I was proposing. All you had to do was say yes and you would have had great media coverage for your little party. Instead you have to go for drama.” He shot her an exasperated look. “Always with you, it’s drama.”
“I—” She was speechless. “I honestly don’t know what to say.”
“The word you were looking for was yes, but you missed your cue.” He spoke through his teeth and then inhaled deeply and smiled the smile that had first attracted her attention. “You were in shock. This is a big night for you, I understand that.”
She relaxed a little. Reminded herself they’d been together a long time, and that no one was perfect. “Good, because for a moment I wasn’t sure you did.”
His phone rang. “Excuse me one second, this could be important.”
She stood, her arms wrapped round her waist, wondering what could be more important than talking about their future.
She glanced around her, trying to stay calm. The room was an Aladdin’s cave of creative endeavor. Paintings were stacked against the wall, there were several bronze figurines on a shelf and a rolled-up carpet stood next to a table stacked high with boxes.
Not the most romantic setting.
Richard checked the number and silenced the phone. “It can wait.” Sliding the phone back into his pocket, he glanced at her blankly. “Where were we?”
“You were working out whether your phone call was a higher priority than a conversation about our future,” she said flatly, “and telling me you understood that tonight was a big moment in my life.”
“Of course I understand. A marriage proposal is a big moment in every woman’s life.”
There was a ringing in her ears. “Excuse me? That’s what you consider to be my big moment?”
“Getting engaged is a big deal.”
“We’re not engaged, Richard.”
“We will be when you’ve answered my question.” He gave her his most winning smile but she felt nothing but frustration.
He wasn’t listening to her.
Apparently he’d never listened to her. He steamrollered over her in pursuit of his own goals.
He had a five-year plan and apparently she was part of it.
“I don’t remember a question. You said ‘I want you to marry me.’ Much the same way a child might say ‘I want that candy.’” Too stressed to stand still, she paced the length of the room. “In the last year, how much time do you think we’ve spent together?”
“It’s been a crazy year, I’m not denying that. Of course, we would have spent more time together if you hadn’t insisted on spending so much time in your studio and on that island. But all that’s going to change when we’re married.”
“I thought I’d made it clear that marriage isn’t on my wish list. Didn’t you hear me?”
“I heard you, but we both know you didn’t mean it. Why wouldn’t you want to get married?” There was a hint of impatience in his voice. “Your parents have been married thirty-five years and never share a cross word.”
And never a loving one, either.
Never, not once, had she seen her parents show affection.
They didn’t hold hands.
They didn’t kiss.
There were no lingering glances, no suggestion of a bond of togetherness.
She wanted so much more.
“What are you doing here? I mean, what are you really doing here?”
His smile lost some of its warmth. “I came to support you, although given the mood you’re in I’m starting to wonder why I bothered. I’m still finding my way around Capitol Hill. Coming here was the last thing I needed right now.”
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t mean—” He dragged his hand over the back of his neck. “You’re determined to misunderstand everything I say.”
“Maybe that’s because I don’t understand. You told me you weren’t coming tonight, so what changed?” When he didn’t answer, she answered for him. “You saw the guest list and thought there might be people here who could be useful to you. Be honest. Tonight was never about me.” But she’d wanted it to be. And her creative brain had spun the facts into a scenario that she could live with.
Her mother was right.
She was a stupid dreamer.
Richard met her gaze head-on. “I’m not ashamed to admit the value of networking. You want honest? I’ll give you honest. This hobby of yours is fine, but you are wasting your life. You paint pictures and make jewelry and that wouldn’t matter except that you’re smart and there are so many other more useful things you could be doing. Things that would make me proud.”
She felt dizzy. “You’re not proud of me?”
“You’re not exactly saving the planet, Sky. Even you can’t pretend that what you do is important.” With a few words he’d dismissed what she did, tossing her dreams into the trash as her father had done with her first painting all those years before.
She felt as if she had emerged from a deep sleep.
“The last necklace I made was taken from a broach left to a client by her grandmother. It had been sitting in a drawer for a decade and she wanted it made into something contemporary that she could wear. Something relevant to her life that would remind her of someone she’d loved very much. It was important to her. Emotions are important.” But she knew he wouldn’t understand that.
To him, money, power and influence were the important things.
He was like her parents. Which was why they got along so well.
He made a conciliatory gesture. “This is a pointless conversation. We need to move on.”
“My work is not ‘pointless,’ and by ‘move on’ I assume you’re saying that your ambitions take precedence over mine.”
He frowned. “No, but you can’t argue with the fact that I’m serving a lot of people.”
“Are you? Or are you serving yourself? Because sometimes, Richard, I wonder if your career is about your ambition, not a selfless desire to dedicate your life to public service.”
His features hardened. “You want to talk about being selfish? What do you think your actions are doing to your parents? It’s time you stopped thinking of yourself and made them proud.”
“Since when do my parents have anything to do with our relationship?” A disturbing thought slid into her brain. “Why did you call my father?”
“I told him I was going to ask you to marry me. He and your mother were thrilled and they’re looking forward to celebrating when we join them on Christmas Eve.”
Was it really all about her parents?
Desperately wanting to be wrong about that, she took a step forward. “What if I said that this year I don’t want to spend Christmas with my parents? We could have Christmas by ourselves, just the two of us. Rent a little cottage on Puffin Island and spend our time playing games and chatting. Log fire, a real fir tree from the forest, walks in the snow, making love in the warm.” She’d said it to test him, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted it. “Let’s do it, Richard. Forget proposals, forget goals and careers—for once let it be the two of us and our friends. We’ll make a pact not to talk about work. Emily and Ryan are hosting Christmas at Harbor House and making it extra special for little Lizzy. Zach and Brittany will be there, too, and I’d love for us to spend more time with them. It will be perfect.”
“Perfect?” He looked appalled. “I can’t think of anything worse than Christmas on Puffin Island. What would be the point? Your parents have invited people who will be useful.”
“The point is it’s Christmas, Richard. It isn’t a business opportunity or an excuse to network, it’s Christmas.” How could she have been so deluded? They’d spent over a year together. She’d believed they had a future. “If not Puffin Island, how about Europe? We’ve always talked about going to Paris or Florence. Let’s do it!”
“This isn’t a good time.”
“It’s never a good time.” And she realized in a flash of painful clarity that she really had been fooling herself. When she cleared away the creative clouds of her imagination, the truth was right there, forming a stark picture. “When we first met I couldn’t believe how much we had in common. That first night—we stayed up until four in the morning planning a trip to Florence. Do you remember?”
He shifted. “Sky—”
“It seemed almost too good to be true, to meet someone who shared your dreams so exactly. There were so many things we were going to do, and we never did any of them. It seemed too good to be true, because it was.” She swallowed, finding it hard to look the truth in the eye because the truth made a fool of her. “My parents told you about me, didn’t they? You studied my interests so that you’d know exactly how to gain my attention.”
“There is nothing wrong with wanting to know someone.”
“What’s wrong,” she said slowly, “is that it wasn’t genuine. Love isn’t a business deal, Richard, it’s an emotion. It isn’t about convenience or ambition, it’s about feeling. Genuine feeling, not something manufactured for the purposes of manipulation.”
“There you go again. You expect a fairy tale and when you get reality, you’re disappointed. It’s the same with your attitude toward Christmas. You’ve always romanticized Christmas and it’s just one day.”
They were the same words her mother had used, and she knew it wasn’t coincidence.
The thought that they’d discussed her was horrible.
Almost as horrible as realizing what a mistake she’d made.
She felt humiliated and betrayed, foolish and a little embarrassed, but at least she had her answer.
She wasn’t the sun, moon and stars to him. She wasn’t even a speck of cosmic dust on the bottom of his shoe.
“Maybe it is just one day, but it’s an important day and this year I’d like to spend it with my friends.”
“Precisely, they’re your friends. They’re no use to me.”
“Friends aren’t supposed to be of use.” She heard her voice rise and tried to control it. “That isn’t what friendship is. It’s about giving, not taking.”
“What can they possibly give you? Your situation is nothing like theirs. You have family, they don’t. Emily had an alcoholic mother, Brittany’s mother clearly knew nothing about responsibility and don’t even get me started on Zachary Flynn. I don’t want to risk my reputation by being in the same place as him. Can you imagine what the media could do with that story?”
It was like looking at a stranger and she realized that up until now, he’d carefully shown the side of himself he’d wanted her to see. Even with her, he’d controlled his image. The only times it had slipped were the occasions when he’d lost his temper.
“If you’re forcing me to make a choice between you and my friends, there’s no contest.”
He relaxed slightly. “That’s good to know. Obviously you’d pick me.”
“No! I’d pick them. I love my friends.” And she was incensed by what he’d said. Incensed, deeply hurt and furious with herself for being so deluded. “And a friend would never do what you just did.”
She knew now there was no going back. No fixing.
“I know you love your friends, and that love makes you blind. It’s thanks to them you’ve lost sight of what’s important in life. We’re going to your parents’ for Christmas. They want the best for you. And so do I.”
She felt numb. Disconnected.
How could she have possibly thought this might be love? “I’m the one who will decide what’s best for me.”
“That’s the theory, but you always make the wrong choices.”
Anger flickered to life inside her. “Thank you for making it easy for me to say no to the question you didn’t ask.”
“Oh, for—” He bit off the word and inhaled deeply. “Skylar Tempest, will you marry me?”
“Again, no!” Her voice sounded strangely flat. “And I can’t believe you’re still asking after the conversation we’ve just had. You wanted me to choose. I’ve chosen. Now get out.”
He swore under his breath. “My flight leaves tomorrow and I have to be back in DC on Monday. I don’t have time to play games. I want to spend the next few hours celebrating, not fighting. All I want to hear is two words, that’s all. Yes, Richard.”
“I’m not playing games. We don’t want the same things. Apparently we never did, but I’m only now realizing that. And even if we did have a single thing in common, I can’t be with someone who is so rude about the friends I love. They’re too important to me. It’s over, Richard.”
Her words fell into a simmering silence.
She saw the change in him and her heart kicked hard against her chest. She’d been with him long enough to be familiar with every shift in his mood. It was like watching the sky darken over Puffin Island, heralding an approaching storm.
