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He frowned, too, but in a more puzzled way. That was actually not what he wanted to do, either. But it seemed he was right. Sara was circling the wagons around her sister. How to convince her she didn’t need to do that with him?
“Listen, staying for the night wasn’t how I planned this.”
“I’ll bet.” She had her arms crossed and looked very intimidating. “Just what did you have in mind, Casanova?”
What? Did she really think he was hovering around in order to catch Jill in an emotional state? If only! He wanted to laugh at her but he knew that would only infuriate her further.
“Listen, I saved your sister from a blind date gone horribly wrong. Seriously. Do you know the guy she went out with?”
Sara shook her head, looking doubtful.
“I think his name was Karl.”
She shook her head again.
“Well, if you knew him, you’d see why Jill needed rescuing. He was flamboyantly wrong for her.”
“Okay.” Sara looked a little less intimidating. “Good. I’m glad you were there to help her out.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. She was approachable after all.
“So I brought her back here, planning to drop her off and come back to see her in the morning, but there was a riot going on in the house. The twins had taken the babysitter hostage. I had to stay and help Jill regain the high ground. There was no choice.”
It was as though she hadn’t heard a word he’d said. She paced slowly back and forth in front of him, glaring like a tiger. It was evident she thought he was exaggerating and she’d already gone back to the root of the problem.
“So...what’s the deal?” she said, challenging him with her look. “Brad sent you, didn’t he?”
Uh-oh. He didn’t want to go there if he could help it. He gave her a fed-up look. “Why does everyone assume I can’t make a move on my own?”
She glared all the harder. “If he’s trying to get her to come back to him, you can tell him...”
He held up a hand to stop her. It was time to nip this supposition in the bud. “Sara, no. Brad is not trying to get her back.”
“Oh.” Her look was pure sarcasm. “So the new honey is still hanging around?”
He ran his fingers through his thick, curly hair and grimaced. “Actually I think that was two or three honeys ago,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “But take my word for it, Brad isn’t looking for forgiveness. Not yet, anyway.”
Her dark eyes flared with outrage, but she kept her anger at a slow simmer. “That’s our Brad. Trust him to make life and everything in it all about him and no one else.”
He nodded. That was one point they could agree on. “Brad does like to have things go his way.”
Sara’s gaze had fallen on the plastic bag of items picked up in the yard. She scowled, touching it with the toe of her shoe.
“What’s all this?”
“Oh. Uh. I left it there. I’ll get it....”
She looked up in horror. “What are you doing, moving in?”
Now he couldn’t help it. He had to laugh. “Sara, you don’t need to hate me. I’m not the enemy.”
“Really? What are you, then?”
“A friend.” He tried to look earnest. He’d always thought Sara liked him well enough. He certainly hadn’t expected to be attacked with guns blazing this way. “I’m Jill’s friend. And I really want what’s best for her.”
“Sorry, Connor. You can’t be a true friend to Jill while you’re still any sort of friend to Brad. It won’t work.”
His head went back and he winced. “That’s a little rigid, don’t you think?”
She moved closer, glancing toward the kitchen to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “If you’d seen what she’s gone through over this last year or so, you might change your tune.”
“What?” He caught her by the upper arm. “What happened?”
She shook her head, looking away.
“Has Brad been here to see her?”
She looked up at him. “Not that I know of. But he manages to make life miserable for her by long distance.”
He frowned, wishing she would be more specific.
She looked at him, shook her head and her shoulders drooped. All her animosity had drained away and tears rimmed her eyes. “Oh, Connor, she deserves so much better. If you could see how hard she works... And every time she turns around, there’s some new obstacle thrown in her path. I just can’t stand it anymore. It’s not fair.”
She pulled away and he let her go. And now he was the one whose emotions were roiling. Damn Brad, anyway. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?
He ran his hand through his hair again, tempted to rip chunks of it out in frustration. He had to get out of here. If he wasn’t careful, he would get caught up in the need to protect Jill. From what? He wasn’t even sure. Life, probably. Just life. As Sara had said, it wasn’t fair. But it also wasn’t his fight. No, he had to go.
He would drive back to his hotel, check out and head for Portland. He would tell Brad he couldn’t help him and advise him to leave Jill alone. Maybe he would even tell his old friend what he really thought of him. It was way past time to do that.
* * *
Jill was in a hurry and things weren’t working out. She had Tanner dressed in his little play suit, but she couldn’t catch Timmy, and now he was streaking around the room, just out of her reach, laughing uproariously.
“Timmy!” she ordered. “You stop right there.”
Fat chance of that. He rolled under the bed and giggled as she reached under, trying to grab him.
“You come out of there, you rascal.”
She made a lucky grab and caught his foot and pulled him out, disarming grin and all. “Oh, you little munchkin,” she cried, but she pulled him into her arms and held him tightly. Her boys were so precious to her. She’d given up a lot to make sure she would have them. Tears stung her eyelids and she fought them back. She couldn’t let herself cry. Not now. She had a day to get through.
She had a huge, wonderful day full of work ahead. A day like this could turn things around, if it started a trend. She heard Sara’s voice downstairs and she smiled. What a relief. Good. Sara was here. She would be able to help with the children.
She so appreciated Sara giving her some time like this. She knew she was applying for a promotion. She’d been a contributing editor to the design section of Winter Bay Magazine for almost two years and she’d done some fabulous work. If she got the new job, she would be working more hours during the week and wouldn’t be able to help out as much. Still, she hoped she got it. She certainly deserved the recognition.
She was thankful for small blessings. Right now, if she had Sara here to help with the twins, and then Trini coming in a half hour to help with the baking and delivery, she would be okay. She would just barely be able to fulfill all the commitments she’d made for the day.
It was a challenge, but she could do it. In fact, she had to do it.
Sara appeared at the doorway just as she finished dressing her boys and sent them into the playroom.
“Hey there,” she said, ready to greet her sister with a smile until she saw the look on her face. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
Sara sighed and shook her head.
“Did you see Connor?” Jill asked brightly. “He looks so much the same, you’d never know he’d been gone for a year and a half, would you?”
Sara gave her a look. “Jill, we’ve got to talk.”
Jill groaned and grabbed her sister’s hand. “Not now, sweetie. Not today. I’ve got so much I’ve got to get to and...”
Sara was shaking her head. “You’ve got to get rid of him, Jill.”
She frowned. “Who?”
Sara pointed back down the stairs as though he were following her. “Connor. You’ve got to make him go right away.”
Dropping her hand, Jill turned away, feeling rebellious. She’d been thinking the same thing but she didn’t want to hear it from anyone else. Connor was hers. She resented anyone else—even her beloved sister—critiquing their relationship. She would make him go when she was good and ready to make him go.
Sara grabbed her by the shoulders. “You know he’s just here spying for Brad,” she said in a low, urgent voice. “You don’t want that, do you?”
Sara had never warmed to Jill’s ex-husband, even during the good times. And once he’d gone off and left her high and dry, she’d developed what could only be described as a dogged contempt for the man.
Jill took a deep breath and decided to ignore everything she’d said. Life would be simpler that way.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asked instead, trying to sound bright and cheery. “I appreciate it, but...”
“Oh.” Sara’s demeanor changed in an instant and she dropped her hold on her sister’s shoulders. “Oh, Jill, I came early to tell you...I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to help you today. They want me to fly down to L.A. There’s just no way I can get out of it. I’ll be meeting with the editorial staff from Chicago and...”
“Today?” Jill couldn’t stop the anguish from bursting out as she realized what this meant.
Sara looked stricken. “It’s a really bad day, right?”
“Well, I told you I’ve got a huge stack of orders and...” Jill stopped herself, set her shoulders and got hold of her fears. “No, no.” She shook her head. “No, Sara. It’s much more important for you to go do this, I’m sure.”
Sara grabbed her hand again. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry, but I really can’t turn them down. They want to see how I handle myself with the visiting members.” She bit her lip and looked as though she was about to cry. A range of conflicting emotions flashed through her wide dark eyes and then she shook her head decisively. “Oh, forget it. I’ll tell them something has come up and I just can’t do it. Don’t worry. They’ll understand. I think.”
Jill dismissed all that out of hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you have to go. This is your career. This is something you’ve worked so hard for.”
“But I can’t leave you if you really need me.”
“But I don’t.” Jill dug deep and managed a bright smile. “Not really. Trini will be here soon and we’ll be able to handle it.”
Sara looked worried. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” She smiled again.
“Because I can stay if you really need me. I can tell them...”
“No.” She hugged her sister. “You go. You have to go. I will lose all respect for you if you let silly sentiment keep you from achieving your highest goals. Say no more about it. You’re gone. It’s decided.”
“But...”
“Come on. Do it for me. Do it for all of us. Make us proud.”
Her smile was almost painful by now, but doggone it—she wasn’t going to stop. Sara had to go. No two ways about it. And she would just have to cope on her own. Thank God for Trini.
* * *
“So she’s really going?” Connor had watched Sara rushing off and then turned to see Jill come down from upstairs with a tense look on her face.
“Yes. Yes, she is.”
He noted that her hands were gripped together as though she could hardly stand it. He frowned.
“Do you think you can do it without her?”
She took a deep breath. “It won’t be easy. But once Trini gets here, we’ll put our noses to the grindstone and work our little tushes off for the next twelve hours. Then you’ll see.”
He was bemused by her intensity. “What will I see?”
She looked up at him wide-eyed. “That this is serious. Not just a hobby job. It’s real.”
He frowned. He wanted to tell her that he respected her immensely and that he was impressed with what she was attempting to do here, but before he could get a word out, she went on, pacing tensely as she talked.
“You know, I thought I had everything pretty much under control. My life was running on an even keel. I was beginning to feel as though I might make it after all.” She stopped and looked at him with a sense of foreboding wonder. “And then you hit town. And everything went to hell.”
She was trying to make it sound like a joke, but there was too much stress in her voice to carry it off. He winced.
“So you blame me now?”
“Why not? There’s nobody else within shouting distance. You’re going to have to take the fall.” She tried to smile but her mouth was wobbly.
He looked at her, saw the anxious look in her eyes and he melted beyond control. “Jill...” He took her hands in his and drew her closer. “Listen, why don’t I stay? I could help you with the boys. I could run errands, answer phones.”
She was shaking her head but he didn’t wait to hear her thoughts.
He pulled her hands up against his chest. “I want to help you. Really. I know you’ve had a lot of setbacks lately and I want to help smooth over some rough spots if I can. Come on, Jill. Let me stay.”
Her lower lip was trembling as she looked into his eyes. He groaned and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against his body. She felt like heaven and he wanted the moment to go on forever, but she didn’t let it happen. She was already pulling out of his embrace, and he could have kicked himself for doing it.
Too blatant, Connor old chap, he told himself ruefully. You really tipped your hand there, didn’t you?
“No, Connor,” she said as she pushed him away.
She looked at him, shaken. She’d wanted to melt into his arms. She still felt the temptation so strongly, she had to steel herself against it. She knew it had to be mostly because she was so afraid, so nervous about her ability to meet her challenges. If she let him hold her, she could pretend to forget all that.
And then there was the fact that it had been so long since a man—a real man, a man that she liked—had held her. Karl didn’t count. And she hungered for that sort of connection.
