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Her back stayed pressed against the cold, hard bedroom wall, to keep her upright, but also to keep her in place for Dresden’s rhythmic thrusts.
She kept her eyes closed. Listening to his grunts ramped up her need for him to fill her even more. Over and over again.
“Hold on.” His command sounded like a voice-over for the unfolding action.
She obeyed without needing any prompt. Her cheek pressed against the soft waves of his hair. She held on so tight that she was sure her cheek would show the imprint of his hair.
Reading her readiness, he slowed, sliding into her with deliberate pressure and pulling out for her to enjoy every glorious part. At the peak, she let go and let her body release, pulsate until she was done.
Gripping his shoulders, she stayed perched around his hips. As he picked up the pace to thrust into her, he came hard. And she thanked her luck that she’d met this wonderful man tonight.
They finally had touched down and coasted back to reality. Only their uneven breaths added sound to the silence. Within each other’s embrace, they ushered in a calm, reflective mood after their steamy, passionate union.
“Whew,” Laxmi said to ward off the onset of nerves. “I would say let’s go for round two, but a girl’s got a business to run.” She slid along the wall to free herself and her mind from Dresden’s proximity.
“And I’ve got a plane to catch in a few hours.” He looked at his watch and didn’t look her way again.
“I’ll just step into the bathroom.” Laxmi straightened her clothes and headed for the door.
* * *
Dresden released a breath when the bathroom door closed. If he was hooked up to diagnostic machines, the readout would be haphazard. Emotions and hard thinking battled for his mind’s forefront.
Never having been high, he imagined this floating sensation and craving for more must come pretty close. But the changes in him weren’t only physical. That scared him. The shift toward wanting Laxmi, wanting to be friends, wanting more than that, was too swift. He didn’t operate on impulse. Well, up to a few minutes ago, he’d have made that claim.
But her kick-ass style and fearless approach stirred desire. He wanted the time to get to know her. And he hoped that she’d let him convince her that he was worth the effort.
* * *
Behind the closed door, in much-needed privacy, she cleaned up while her mind scrolled through a panicked stream of thoughts. A ragged edge of self-doubt gnawed at her confidence. If she hadn’t pushed her way into Dresden’s space, would he have been interested? She knew the answer, as she leaned in to the mirror, peering at her reflection as if it was an out-of-body experience. So far tonight, she had walked on the wild side, but was still uncertain about how the final credits would roll. Unplanned moments had a tendency to go haywire. Right now, her emotions were running ahead of her logic, looking to escape.
Was she the bad guy? Cut and run and never look back. Or could she play the good girl? Diplomatic and vague, but still run. Her past was her being the naive woman hanging on too long to a bad apple. She’d played at being cavalier with Dresden. But the plan had backfired. She was far from unaffected by Dresden. Too dangerous to her willpower. A fast retreat was necessary.
Laxmi reapplied her lipstick, dabbed at the sheen on her forehead and smoothed her hair back into place, as much as possible. A twist here and a turn there, she finished the inspection on her clothes. Her thong. Still on the lampshade. Time to head back out there and act like she wasn’t a case of nerves.
No matter how she felt, she didn’t wish him to be constrained by her insecurities. Keep things simple and not emo-girl whiny. Taking deep breaths in and out, Laxmi was ready to play the role of independent, emotionally detached young woman.
At first she didn’t see or hear him when she emerged from the bathroom. Even if he was inclined, there weren’t too many places to jump out and scare her. Anyway, she hurried over to the side table and grabbed her underwear. She’d just pulled her dress down when the sound of a key card activating the door stopped her plan to search for him behind the thick drapes.
“I bought a couple sodas.” He handed her a cold Coke. His eyes shifted from around the room to her outstretched hand, but never to her face.
Was he feeling regret? Shame? Or was he in need of closure?
“Thanks. That’s thoughtful.” She didn’t drink sodas, but the correction didn’t matter. Her fingers brushed along his—deliberate on her part. She wanted contact and a signal that nothing would be awkward. Still he didn’t bring his gaze back to her. Things would be awkward.
“Did you need anything else?” He motioned with his chin toward the bathroom.
“I’m good.” Why did he have to look all pulled together? Meanwhile, a few minutes ago, her hair had sported a bad case of bed-head. Smeared lipstick had given her the clown-mouth effect. And her skin had appeared dewy from the naturally sweaty workout.
Not fair.
Laxmi grabbed her keys and pocketbook. She took a pass on offering her hand for a shake or tiptoeing to meet his lips for a kiss. Instead she said, “Hope everything works out for you. If you’re ever in the city, you have my card.”
She hurriedly opened the door and stepped into the hallway, praying it would quickly swing shut. She sounded like a handyman hoping for a call back after tackling a problem.
“Wait. I’ll walk with you.”
“Not necessary.” She sped up her retreat to the elevator. “I’m in a rush.”
His unhurried footsteps followed her quick strides. She turned the corner to the bank of elevators, ready to summon one. The longer she stayed in this building, the more trapped she felt. Fresh air would help a lot. She waited with a small huddle of hotel guests, hoping that the elevator arrived before Dresden.
But he appeared around the corner, still unhurried, not breathing as if he had to catch up to the finish line, unlike her heaving chest. Maybe he recognized the lack of privacy, because he said nothing, his face a stoic mask. Instead he stood next to her, joining everyone’s stance to stare at the numbers above the elevator as it moved up or down.
Finally a chime behind them indicated a door would open. Laxmi waited for the family of four to board the space before she stepped in and faced front, while Dresden followed suit.
The other guests continued with their conversation, which helped to make the ride down slightly bearable.
“You really didn’t have to come with me,” she whispered.
“You’ve made that clear.”
He sounded annoyed.
The door opened and Laxmi almost tumbled out, glad to be free from the confining space. Now that the exit wasn’t far from where she stood, her equilibrium righted to stiffen her spine.
“Why are you running?” His attention stayed with the flow of foot traffic coming and going through the entrance.
“I’m not. It’s just time for me to go.” She didn’t slow down as she headed through the doors and requested her car.
“And I thought that I was the one to run.” He barely smiled at his joke.
“If I stay, we’d be breaking our pact to remain uninvolved. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I came to a birthday party to hang out with my friend and catch up on our years apart while eating birthday cake. And you were going to be introduced to Grace’s circle.” She stepped off the curb to head for her car that had pulled up. “We were the anomaly of the evening.”
“I have no complaints.” He remained on the curb.
She looked over the top of the car at him. “Neither do I.”
“Well, break the rule. Let’s do this.” His suggestion touched her like the gentleness of his hand cupping her face.
She looked up at the dark night, unable to see any stars. Bright city lights illuminated the steep heights of the buildings. Once upon a time, she had broken lots of rules, done things her way, and had a lot to be sorry for in the process.
Dresden hadn’t moved or changed his expression. Still the handsome guy who’d caught her eye. Did he understand the consequences of tossing out that temptation as a finale for the night?
“Let’s end on a high note.” She got into her car before he responded and before she changed her mind.
Her passenger door opened. Dresden leaned in. “Maybe we’re more alike than you think. And—”
“No.” She shook her head for added emphasis. “You’re in Canada. I’m in New York.”
“There’s such a thing called planes.”
“I’m in entertainment—it’s a hustle. There’s no time for dating or thinking about you. I go where the business takes me. I can barely look after me. I don’t want—”
“I don’t need to be looked after. And life is a hustle that we don’t always get right.”
Laxmi stared straight ahead. She had to erase his words of hope, his expectant look, the memory of what that mouth had delivered on her body. She bit her lip to add a stinging reminder to get it together.
“I don’t have what you’re looking for. I’m not the girlfriend who could be counted on to be reliable or dependable.” Laxmi revved the engine. “But one day you will find that special someone because you’re a nice guy and you’ll see that this wasn’t it.”
“I’ll let you go...for now.” He stepped back and closed the car door.
Laxmi snapped on her seat belt, glanced into the side mirror for oncoming traffic and pushed down on the gas. She needed the city’s frenetic driving scene to harness her attention.
For now.
For now?
Chapter 4 (#u1808e206-a2da-5c1a-a000-b8fdd0ca3587)
Monday promised to feel like the worst hangover Laxmi had ever had without alcohol involved. Insomnia hit two nights in a row, marching in like a tuba player blowing his way into a library. Wide-awake and consumed with Dresden aptly described those sleepless hours. Dreams of him lingered, infusing her thoughts with sexy images of him and playing X-rated loops of him satisfying her. Even now her cheeks warmed under the memory of his actions and her reactions.
Despite her half-hearted plan-A attempt to push the memories off-road, she’d come up with plan B: a late-night, full-blast treadmill run to make her crash from exhaustion into bed. That didn’t help.
Binge-watching TV show marathons of Empire and Power failed, too. Like it was a bad cold, she’d have to let whatever had overcome her run its course until she could get through at least one hour without sighing like a young girl with a crush.
Added to her anxiety was her packed calendar, guaranteed to keep her hopping around New York with a few extended trips. Managing an up-and-coming music artist required patience for the long phase of planting seeds. Mostly the effort drained resources and energy with unbelievable time-suck for promotions. But the breakthrough, just one sliver of light in the seemingly thick darkness, would materialize from one of those wildly tossed seeds on a bleak landscape.
Today, at this very moment, would not be the day for career breakthroughs. After talking to Fiona briefly on the phone, her friend popped up at the recording studio, where Laxmi waited for Tonea’s arrival. The curt conversation clued Laxmi in that Fiona wasn’t happy. She didn’t have to guess what troubled Fiona since it was only the second day since the birthday party and Dresden’s epic departure.
“Laxmi, stop pretending to tune me out. I know you’ve heard every word.”
“Huh?” Laxmi looked up from the control board and over at Fiona, who marched back and forth in the tight space.
Her friend stopped and put her hands on her hips. “No one leaves Grace’s events. First Dresden left. Then you were gone. At least he called to apologize.”
“I called your grandmother and promised my firstborn,” Laxmi clarified half-jokingly.
“But you didn’t call me. And I called you several times.” Fiona pushed Laxmi’s chair with her foot until it swiveled and they faced each other. “Well...?”
“You wouldn’t have let me apologize over the phone. And all my emails about meeting for coffee and a quick chat went unanswered.” Laxmi diverted her attention by scrolling through the calendar on her phone. Better to keep Fiona’s keen investigative powers from detecting any part she’d played in Dresden’s disappearance.
“I was mad, dammit. And I don’t need any more mysteries about my bro—Dresden—to solve. I’ve got a couple unrelated cases about missing teens sitting on my desk.”
“Hello...you’re on vacation. And there’s no mystery to solve about your brother.”
“Well, it’s killing me not to be in the office. I’m heading home tonight.”
“And Leo?” Laxmi had talked to Fiona’s boyfriend for only a few minutes. They looked madly in love and he was quite popular with her cousins and their significant others.
“He’s sticking around Manhattan to deal with Grace’s business.”
Laxmi laughed. “Despite all your whining about your grandmother’s stranglehold on the family, you had to hook up with her lawyer.”
“Estate lawyer. One of many. And ‘stranglehold’ is an overstatement by a fragile teenager.” Fiona grinned, breaking free of the moody attitude.
“Leo seems like a very nice guy and looks really comfortable with your family.”
“He is, on both counts.”
“Love has certainly given you a bloom.”
“Shut up.” Fiona smacked Laxmi’s shoulder. The sappy smile was beyond cute.
“Not lying or teasing you. Really, you look happy, contented. Glad you found your special someone.”
The conversation drifted into silence. Laxmi hoped that she didn’t sound wistful. She had no intention of falling off that cliff again. Some people were meant to be alone and enjoy their company without an apology for the single life.
“I hope you’ll stick around.” Fiona looked hopeful. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do. And you’re always welcome at my house for an old-fashioned slumber party.”
“Yeah, I’d like that. Once I get everything to a point that I can relax, a quick getaway to your upstate New York paradise sounds like a plan.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
“So tell me what you’re working on for work.” Laxmi hadn’t forgotten the initial reason for Fiona’s visit. Coaxing her to her happy place might minimize how much she gnashed her teeth when she eventually told Fiona the details of Saturday night, minus a few necessary deletions.
“Everyone is treating the latest case as the classic teenage runaway story—dysfunctional family history, mixed up with a bad crowd, or spoiled and wants attention. But I’m not feeling that any of those scenarios paint a complete picture. Some details don’t add up.” Fiona blew out a frustrated sigh. “Budget cuts don’t help matters, either.”
Laxmi always admired her friend for sticking with the job of her heart. To see her ready to dive into the messiest of cases both scared and thrilled her. Nothing remotely dangerous had ever held any fascination for Laxmi.
But when she’d met Fiona in college, they’d hit it off immediately. However, Los Angeles had become the go-to place for what Laxmi had wanted to do. A dream to be a singer and maybe act on the side drove her to the place where millions also chased the chance for a break.
That break came so suddenly and left just as quickly that she’d barely had time to register the accolades and the awards. “One-hit wonder” became her label with the additional descriptor of “an overnight success.” As if all the work she had put in and the road leading up to that moment had been discounted.
Bit by bit, rejection after rejection, Laxmi had grown tired of the game. She was no longer relevant. And racing to catch up was similar to a hamster on a wheel.
Anger and bitter disappointment had grabbed her by the hand and taken her down some roads that never should be traveled. She remembered Fiona reaching out to her many times, trying to reconnect. The memory of her scornful reaction to her friend’s helping hand still shamed her.
Her jealousy, which had blossomed like poison ivy during that time, had driven a wedge between them. She’d deemed it unfair that her journey had never lifted off beyond a certain point with temporary financial success, while Fiona had the safety net of the Meadows name and wealth behind her, regardless of whether she failed at her job. She’d never understood why Fiona wanted to hang on to their friendship.
“You know I always wanted to be you.” Fiona’s laughter filled the studio.
“Good grief, why?” Laxmi waved off Fiona’s protests.
“Really. You had spunk. To leave home and venture out in the unknown showed independence and your badass mind-set.”
“‘Bad’ pretty much sums it up.”
Fiona shook her head. “If you’d stayed in Virginia after college, you wouldn’t have built up the stamina that you’ve got to do all of this. You’re a survivor.”
