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He was about to apologize again when Victoria pulled out of his arms and rushed through the French doors onto an outdoor patio. Tables and chairs had been set out to accommodate guests. A crescent moon hung overhead, just as it had almost two years ago. An omen, he thought as he caught up with Victoria.
“Hold up! Was it something I said?” Dan asked when he caught up with her. “All I really meant to say was that you remind me of someone who meant a lot to me.”
“I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but I’ve already told you I’m not the woman you are looking for.” She took a step away from him. “It is true my home was in Baronovia, but I haven’t lived there for some time.”
Dan looked into her expressive eyes and at lips that were surely meant to be kissed. Desire ran through him. Victoria might not be his mystery woman, but he was as attracted to her as he had been to her double. He had to kiss her.
“Don’t go, stay here with me,” he said. He couldn’t hold off any longer. Not only for the proof she and the woman he remembered were one and the same, but for the kiss he ached to take from her tantalizing lips.
He held her face in his hands and lifted her face to his. “Victoria,” he whispered when their eyes met. “I’m not sure if you were the woman in the palace garden that night or not, but I’m still hooked. I can’t seem to get enough of you.”
“What are you doing?” Victoria gasped as she tried to pull out of his grasp. “I…”
“I only want to show you how I feel,” Dan said, his lips only inches away from hers. “I have a feeling that tonight has to be one of the most important nights of our lives.”
He was prepared for her anger, but he wasn’t prepared for the stricken look that came into her eyes. He should have known she was too vulnerable to try to seduce into a confession. “How can I make it up to you for being so rude?” he said against her sweet-smelling hair—hair that was shorter and lighter than the auburn tresses of the woman he remembered, but just as beautiful.
“Victoria,” he murmured when he couldn’t wait any longer. “Victoria,” he said again. “Look at me. Look at me and tell me the truth. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you.”
Slowly, as if she were reluctant to answer him, let alone have him kiss her, Victoria ran her tongue over her dry lips. “What…What did you say?”
“Only this.” He held her head between his hands and slowly lowered his mouth to hers. “You were meant to be kissed tonight—let it be me,” he murmured as their lips met.
To her dismay, Victoria felt a surge of desire at the pull of his lips. His warm breath was tinged with the pungent scent of wine, his tongue eager to invade her mouth. The tender look in his eyes as he gazed at her and the hands that tightened around her waist as he drew her closer to him were too magnetic for her to deny. Reality vanished as Dan drew her deep, deep and still deeper into a sea of sensuality.
She fought the desire to loop her arms around his neck and kiss him with all the frustrated passion pent up inside her. How could she continue to deny him when she had yearned for him so long?
Would she be admitting she was his mystery woman if she did kiss him? More important, how could she continue to deny herself the truth? She had unwittingly fallen in love with him long ago and, heaven help her, she was in love with him now.
Just as Dan moved on to the sensitive place between her breasts, Victoria heard a small voice whisper caution in her ear.
She whimpered a protest, placed her hands on Dan’s chest and pushed herself out of his embrace. She’d gone down that exciting, sensuous path eighteen months ago, but she couldn’t afford to go down that road with him again. Not only for her sake, but for her daughter’s.
Dan sensed Victoria’s emotional withdrawal. He ached to kiss her again and yet again, but the anxious look in her eyes stopped him. Reluctant to let her go, he murmured a protest and held her against him long enough for his arousal to pass.
“Under the circumstances,” he said wryly, “it might be wiser to keep my distance from now on, but right now I need a moment or two.”
“Well?” he finally said softly. “Now do you remember me?”
Victoria shook her head and touched her lips with trembling fingers. “No. I’m still convinced you have the wrong woman.”
“Coward.” He gently outlined her lips with his thumb. “Is it because you really don’t remember me? Or is it that, for some reason, you’re afraid to admit it?”
Victoria shook her head. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, distracted by the yearning in Dan’s eyes but firm in her resolve to keep him from guessing the truth.
“Victoria! There you are!” Wade Stevens called through the French doors. “Lydia just called. She’s worried that your first social outing since your husband died is going okay. I told her you were fine.”
Dan clasped his hands behind him to keep from reaching for Victoria again. “Why didn’t your cousin introduce you as a married woman?”
Victoria shrugged to hide the way her heart was breaking at the reminder she had been married to the late Rolande Bernard. “It was only a social introduction. There was no need to tell you I have recently been widowed.”
He looked shocked, but there was no other way to get him to back off and leave her alone.
Dan knew he had to let Victoria go. A recent widow, he had no right to be attracted to her. Even if it was damn clear he was on the verge of falling head over heels for her again. She not only didn’t fit into his five-year plan, she was part of royal family. Wade, he thought again, had been lucky in his choice of a wife, but he didn’t intend to take the same chance.
But what did bother the hell out of him was that he was jealous of a deceased man.
“Under the circumstances, it was gracious of you to come here tonight.” He tried but he couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.
“It’s more of a family thing. I didn’t want to disappoint May, so I came here tonight.”
She straightened the neckline of her dress, smiled politely and turned away to leave. But not before she paused a long moment and glanced back at him.
Shivers ran up and down Dan’s spine again as he read the unhappy message in her eyes. She was trying to tell him they would never meet again.
He was sure Victoria had been about to say something to him before she left. Instead, there had only been that brief flash of sadness in her eyes before she disappeared through the French doors.
Dan’s mental antenna tingled. He was ready to stake his life on the fact that she was hiding her true identity. She had to be afraid of admitting they had been together.
Afraid? God, he thought and raked his fingers through his hair. Why would she be afraid of him? All he’d wanted to do was to prove she had been the woman he’d made love to in Baronovia. To show her how much he’d cared for her then and even now.
Widow or not, he made up his mind not to let her leave before she told him why she had looked at him that way. Muttering to himself, he made his way through the ballroom and across the hall. Waiters were still passing trays of canapés, champagne was flowing freely and May Stevens was greeting latecomers. He drew her aside.
He’d never been the kind of man to mince words and he didn’t intend to start now. “Sorry, duchess, I know you set me and your cousin up, no…don’t deny it. What I want to know now is, why. And when you’re finished explaining, I would like you to tell me where Victoria has disappeared to!”
May looked surprised. “I don’t know what you mean. I only thought that since Victoria was here tonight without an escort, you could keep her amused.”
Dan wasn’t satisfied, but he wasn’t prepared to force the issue. This was, after all, May’s home and Victoria was her cousin.
“I don’t know where she is now,” May went on as she looked around the room. “She didn’t say goodbye. Why don’t you ask Wade?”
Dan eyed May’s flushed features suspiciously. “That’s it?”
“Of course. Victoria is a widow. I was only trying to make her feel at home.”
Dan apologized, then headed over to Wade, who was busy helping tend the bar. When he got close enough to be heard over the noise, he leaned over the bar and asked, “Do you know where Victoria is? She’s disappeared.”
Wade shrugged and poured a whiskey on ice. “Beats me. Have you asked May?”
“Yep. Unfortunately, May says she’s clueless,” Dan answered dryly, “but between me and you, I have my doubts.”
“Tried the ladies’ room?
Whatever May might have known of the reasons for Victoria’s disappearance, Wade wasn’t in on it. Dan shook his head.
Wade poured a beer for another guest and wiped his hands on a towel. “My guess is Vicky was tired and went home.”
Dan nodded and turned away. He had no right to ask any more questions, or to go after Victoria.
Maybe she hadn’t been his mystery woman after all.
THERE WAS a light knock on Victoria’s bedroom door. She lay curled up in the center of her bed, a book lying unread beside her. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Come in, Lydia.”
Lydia entered her bedroom. “I saw your light under the door, my dear. I wanted to say good-night.”
Victoria smiled sadly. Dear Lydia seemed to know how much she missed her husband. He had been almost thirty years older than her. Rolande had had steel-gray hair at his temples and a trim body of a much younger man. A twentieth-century man in the twenty-first century, he had been courtly and respected. “You don’t have to have permission to enter my bedroom, Lydia. You know you’re always welcome here.”
Lydia smiled. “I know. I just didn’t want to disturb you. I wanted to see if you had actually fallen asleep with the light on.”
“I was only thinking,” Victoria said.
“Of Rolande?”
“Yes.”
Lydia smiled sadly. “How could I forget such a fine man? It is a shame he had to die under such circumstances.”
Victoria studied Lydia and sensed it hadn’t only been the light that had attracted her. There was a questioning expression on her dear face. She stirred uneasily. “Is there something wrong?”
Lydia laughed. “I was about to ask you the same question, Vicky. You know me too well.”
“As you seem to know me. What is it?”
“I am still troubled by your reaction to the invitation to your cousin’s housewarming. I also noticed you appeared unhappy when you returned home.” Lydia paused and studied her for a long, deep moment. “You look disturbed now, my dear. Did you meet someone tonight out of your past?”
Victoria smiled ruefully. “How did you guess?”
“I’m no fool, Vicky. Only such a meeting could have left you looking so unhappy.” Lydia studied her for a long moment. “You haven’t forgotten your bargain with Rolande, have you?”
Victoria bravely met Lydia’s gaze. They had always been honest with each other. She would be honest now.
“No, of course not. Rolande meant too much to me.”
Lydia hesitated, then went on. “I also would like to remind you how important it is you let someone know if there is a problem.”
Although she smiled her agreement, Victoria felt guilty when she recalled the way she’d reacted when she’d been introduced to Dan. “I know. As I said a moment ago, you know me too well. The meeting tonight meant nothing to me.”
“Then, you have nothing to fear, Vicky,” Lydia said. “Just remember, you’ve always had me to watch over you. Even now.”
“I know, and I love you all the more for it,” Victoria replied. “You’ve always been more than a friend to me.”
Lydia nodded. “Then I will say good-night, my dear. Sleep well.”
Victoria sank back against her pillows. If Rolande had been alive, she would have asked him to stay the night with her. She would have thrown back the bedcovers and invited him to join her. To stay and hold her in his arms. He had always made her feel so safe.
Victoria closed her eyes. If Rolande had been able to make love with her, she would have welcomed him. Instead, they both had had to be satisfied with their situation and with the strong bond they’d forged between them.
Her thoughts turned pensive.
She had discovered, and only by chance, that her anxious parents had arranged her marriage to Rolande because he had been a man old enough and wise enough to ensure her safety and happiness in a world that, in their opinion, had gone awry as proven by her cousin’s marriage to an American naval officer.
When she had come to Rolande with the truth before their wedding, he had been honest with her. He, too, had a secret to share. They would do well together, he’d told her as they made their bargain. Impotent, a child to carry on his name had been his dearest wish.
There was no way she would betray the trust Rolande had placed in her.
Chapter Four
In the morning, Victoria awoke to find sunlight streaming through the lace curtains on the bedroom windows. The distant sound of a vacuum cleaner outside the door told her she’d overslept.
She’d been exhausted from worrying over her reaction to meeting Dan O’Hara again.
Poor Rolande, she mused guiltily as she turned over and stared at the carved ceiling above the bed. Even knowing he hadn’t been able to meet her needs, he’d always tried to be kind and compassionate. He’d deserved so much more from her than her gratitude then. Even in death he deserved her loyalty.
How loyal could she be to his memory when she wasn’t able to put her long-ago encounter with Dan in the past where it belonged? How loyal could she be when just the memory of Dan’s tongue tracing her lips and his hands stroking her breasts caused molten heat to engulf her?
A knock on the door saved her from her runaway erotic thoughts. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was long past the time when she was usually up and around. “Come in, Lydia!”
Her long-time companion entered the room carrying Caroline, Victoria’s baby daughter. To Victoria’s dismay, tears had formed in the baby’s velvety blue eyes. One look at her mother and the baby held out her arms.
“It’s almost ten o’clock and this little imp has been crying for you for the past ten minutes,” Lydia said. “I tried to distract the little darling, but she doesn’t want her nanny or me. She wants only her mama to give her her bath.”
Right on cue, Caroline babbled what sounded like mama.
Tickled that Caroline was beginning to talk, Victoria reached for the baby. “Come here, sweetheart,” she said with a wide smile to cover her aching heart. There was nothing better to chase away her unhappiness than holding her baby daughter.
Victoria rubbed noses with the babbling little girl and kissed the tiny hands that pulled at her face and hair. It was true. Whenever it was possible, Caroline’s bathing ritual was kept for her, at her request. She looked forward to the moments when she would wash Caroline’s soft baby skin, dry her with a warmed towel and rub her tiny body with sweet-smelling baby powder. It was in these moments that she could forget the disturbing moments in the past and allow herself to enjoy the present.
“I’m sorry,” she told Lydia with a wry grin. “I’m afraid I was worn-out after May’s housewarming party last night.”
Victoria hid her face in Caroline’s tummy and blew air bubbles. If ever she needed to remember what she could lose if she allowed the past to intrude, these precious moments with the baby were a reminder.
Lydia busied herself with hanging up the dress Victoria had worn last night. “Have you forgotten May invited you to tea this afternoon?”
“No, I haven’t.” Victoria pulled a lock of her hair out of Caroline’s fist and kissed each dimple on each tiny knuckle before she threw back the bedcovers. “In fact, I am particularly eager to speak to my cousin—the sooner the better.”
“So?” Lydia peeked out from the closet. “Something did happen at the housewarming to upset you?”
“I’m afraid so. Please stay for a few moments, Lydia.” She gave Caroline a hairbrush to distract her. “I met a man at May’s housewarming last night, Dan O’Hara. You were right. He’s the American I met at May’s wedding.”
Lydia gasped and covered her lips with her fingers. “He recognized you?”
“Maybe. I honestly don’t know. I insisted I wasn’t the woman he thought he remembered before I left. I think I managed to discourage him, but I didn’t remain long enough to find out.”
Lydia shook her head and took the brush out of Caroline’s mouth. “I sensed you were upset when you came home last night, but I never imagined anything like this. What are you going to do now?”
“Do? Nothing,” Victoria answered firmly. As if she needed a reminder of who she was today, she glanced at the lace curtains embroidered with the Baronovian coat of arms. The symbols reminded her she was a member of the royal family and had been married to her country’s ambassador before she had assumed the post upon his untimely death. “I made a bargain with Rolande and I intend to keep it,” she said softly. “I will never do anything to hurt his memory.”
Guilt flooded her again. She had to forget Dan. She had to forget the touch of his lips against her throat out on the patio last night and the thrill of having his hand caress her bare back.