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“Hello,” I said to the security officer at the entrance. “I’m coming to a job interview.”
“Your first name? Last name?” there was both the question and the answer.
“Aziza Kadirova,” I said.
“Let me have a look in today’s job interview database…” he took a tablet out of his tabletholder.
What? How sophisticated it all was! I desired to see Emre without the stuff like red tape!
“No,” the man said after a while. “I’m afraid your name’s not included in today’s list. Maybe you’ll be able to come tomorrow in case you appear in the list…” he shrugged his shoulders.
“So,” I frowned, “I’m not permitted to be let in, am I?”
“No, I’m afraid you’re not, Miss,” the officer sighed.
Goodness gracious! What should I do then?
“What do I need to go in?” I asked.
“A pass. The pass is required for all the University staff and students.”
“How may I make it?”
“Well, you should address the entry checkpoint center,” the man coldly shrugged his shoulders. “Only then may you be let in.”
My Emre…!
I was absolutely desperate to see him. But how and when…?
Emre was so… unattainable!
I practically had no chance of getting inside!!!
I was hardly holding tears back. What was it all for?
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you very much anyway. Have a nice day!”
“Thank you! You too!” the man’s answer was.
What should I do, then? I needed to see Emre.
A student passed by me.
“Excuse me, sir,” he said to the security guard. “Where could I see the Master’s degree entrance requirements, please?”
The Master’s degree. Sounded exciting. Especially if you have to go on with your education.
Suddenly, it dawned on me. What if I tried to enter a Master course in linguistics there, in LETI? It’d be fascinating!
At the time, I had a great desire to enter the University. First, I’d get a passing card. Therefore, with the card, I’d have much more chance to come across Emre.
Now, I asked another question to the boy.
“Are you going to enter the Master’s?”
“Yeah,” he smiled.
“I can see now,” I nodded. “Which department?”
“Robotics.” One more proud answer.
“And are you from LETI as well?”
“But of course! And you?”
“I’m not,” I lowered my eyes. “But I’d love to be.”
“Come on!” he laughed. “You’ll do it! Which department are you willing to enter?”
“Is there anything concerning Linguistics, Philology or, well, English studies?”
“Yes, there is. The Linguistics department.”
Two months later…
30 August 2021
Something incredible had happened. Indeed.
Since now, I’d been a LETI student!!!
Let me tell you everything in detail, though. From the very beginning.
I had decided to stay in Saint Petersburg. I told my Mum, “I feel this is for me. I’d like to go on with my studies. What’s more, I can find a job there. Mum,” I was saying in ecstasy, “it’s a perfect, an awesome, opportunity, for me to proceed with both my career and my studies.”
Mother agreed. If her daughter wants something (something that’s not bad for the child, of course), she approves of it. So was this time.
Having rented a flat in the suburbs, I applied for entering the Master’s program.
Judging by the exam requirements, I just had to read everything up. The theory concerning linguistics studies, the scientists’ names, and so on.
There were two exams – the first was an English exam, the second being a linguistics one. All of them were to be held online, due to the Covid restrictions. Which was definitely an advantage for me. No, I didn’t intend to cheat. Not at all. Just I felt more comfortable if I take an exam via web-camera. However, it was my first experience of sitting an online exam.
That was a problem, though. At the English exam, there was a software problem. As a result, I couldn’t get access to my test questions at the beginning of the exam. So, I thought they simply wouldn’t take my work into consideration!
I was in tears. “What shall I do?” I thought.
Was it the end of the world…?
I contacted the board.
“We’re aware of the problem and therefore are doing everything to solve it,” they wrote back.
That is, the other students had no access to their test either? My God, we were all in the same boat!
Ten or fifteen minutes later, the access was finally provided. Although it was an electrotechnical university, it had its own, technical issues. What about a university connected to the humanities? Are there philosophical problems arising? Seems like that.
I had forty-five minutes to complete the task. Actually, there must have been an hour for us to do the job: the machine is not a human. It wouldn’t give us extra minutes, after all. However, due to the well-known circumstances, I had no choice but to adjust to the current exam time.
Thank God, I did it. Almost a hundred percent. Okay, not all the hundred percent. Ninety-eight. That wasn’t bad either.
The linguistics exam was pretty easy. On the one hand.
On the other hand, you were interacting with a live person, not a machine. Therefore, he or she (in this case – he) would ask you extra questions (or even grill you down) if your answer was unclear. Actually, in this case, I’d got only one extra question: “Could you please provide the board with more examples of idioms?”
I had none!
As a result, I scored seventy-eight out of one hundred. Was it or wasn’t it bad? That was the question.
So, my overall result was one hundred and seventy-six. Out of two hundred. Amazing!
I turned out the last in the list, though. There were outstanding students with a better score. I was grateful to the University I was admitted anyway! The last one isn’t the worst one!
It was a great celebration for us all. For me especially. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it!
The only question was… whether I should tell Emre about that or not. Well, maybe, not yet. As soon as he finds out the news, he might start avoiding me there, for whatever reason.
Why did I think like that? I didn’t actually know! Perhaps, something unconscious was telling me that.
However eager to text the man I was, I couldn’t do that. It was now the middle of August. I had a dilemma: to text or not to text.
Oh, my weak willpower! I chose the first option!
Me: Emre! I’ve thought I should work on myself a lot. I’m really selfish. What shall I do?
Emre: Well, I think you’re a nice person. So nice that you can sometimes do stupid things.
My God! I didn’t think he’d say exactly that!
Me: Emre, how’re you? I’m really happy to hear this! Emre…
Emre: What, Azi?
He had called me… Azi! After everything, after all… A weird man. A strange one. But the one whom I love most of all.
Me: Emre, first of all, I want to apologize. For everything I’ve done and said.
Emre: Azi, why? You… you’re so pure in your heart! No need. Why?
Was it Emre?
A couple of months before, he had been saying the opposite…
Frankly speaking, I understood very little. Emre was now praising me, whereas before he had been blaming me!
Or, maybe, he had always thought like that, and he had just hidden it from me for an unknown reason…
Me: Emre, thank you very much! How’re you?
Emre: Not bad, not bad. How’re you, Azi? Have they called you? Have they accepted you for the job?
Me: No, they haven’t. But I’m nonetheless happy.
Emre: Azi, what’re you doing?
Me: Err… Nothing special. Just sitting in the park. What about you?
Emre: I’m at home. The weather here’s burning, so I decided to go nowhere but sit in my room.
Me: I can see now. Emre, I wanted to apologize. For everything. I’m sorry.
Emre: Azi, you don’t have to…
Me: I’ve been selfish, Emre. An egoïst.
Emre: Oh, Azi, please, don’t say it. You’re a lovely person. And you perfectly know that. Do you know how many selfish people I’ve met?
Me: I don’t know, Emre…
Emre: A million billion of such people. So, Azi, you’re a very pure person. The purest person ever that I know. You’re not selfish. Not an egoïst. Okay?
Me: Okay.
Emre: You see now. So, how’re you, Azi?
Strange it all was. It seemed like the episodes of our quarrelling had been put out of his mind forever. Like it had never happened.
Me: I’m fine, thank you, Emre! Happy to hear you’re all right too!
1 September 2021
My first class… Called “Communication Aspects in Linguistics’. New theory. New seminars. Everything was new to me. Not to mention the groupmates and the teaching faculty.
And, of course, new impressions.
7 September 2021
As soon as I entered the University, a guy called Nadeem appeared on my way.
