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We worked jobs we hated, took late-night shifts, skipped parties, felt soggy food floating in filthy dishwater, and I’d forgone volunteer shifts at our local hospital (the plan was medicine, if they ever let me into university) in favour of forcing smiles at retail customers in the Christmas rush. It was all in the pursuit of adventure. It had paid off.
So far, our trip had been a whirlwind experience in the best of ways. In just ten short days, we’d had a Christmas feast of buttery pastries underneath the Eiffel Tower and battled cheesy woodfired pizza after tossing coins in the Trevi Fountain. Salzburg revived our senses with sweet cinnamon-y apple strudel after shopping the Getreidegasse, and hoppy beer in Berlin kept us warm against biting temperatures. I ran my fingers along all the old stone buildings and dunked my toes in all the freezing waters. I wanted to feel it all. The moment we arrived back in London, we boarded another bus for Edinburgh, ready for the biggest street party and New Year’s celebration this side of the Atlantic.
The procession came to a quick stop along Princes Street, a neat mixture of Georgian and Renaissance architecture. I wouldn’t have known that fact if I hadn’t spent three hours battling drizzling rain in a thin plastic poncho on a walking tour this morning. Ornate windows from tall buildings looked down on the street and, while I was busy marvelling at that, a scuffle broke my train of thought and drew my attention back to the here and now.
Josh jogged towards us, nattering nervously about something happening further up the road. Despite the cold, a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. His brown eyes were wide with … was that fear?
‘This dude thinks I grabbed his girlfriend. He’s looking for me.’ A jittery hand rested over his mouth as he surveyed the scene before us. Heads turned towards him. Everyone could see what was coming before he could.
‘What?’ Now my eyes widened. ‘What have you done?’
Heather did what she does best and gave him a shove. ‘You idiot.’
‘No, no, it’s not like that. I thought she was single.’
He always thought they were single.
A scowling boyfriend emerged from the crowd, his own Moses parting the sea moment, complete with hot-pink beanie and clenched fists. He glared at me only briefly, long enough to acknowledge that I was there, before reaching around me for Josh, who was swearing like a stand-up comedian combating a heckler. My pulse began racing.
Heather pulled me out of the way but, I wasn’t prepared to spend the night tending to Josh’s wounds. I was on holiday, not working, and I wasn’t about to let him ruin all our fun. I handed her my torch and made a beeline for the scrum. Both he and Burly Man were very shouty, shoving each other in the tiny boxing ring that had formed around them.
‘Josh!’ I shouted.
He held a palm out to stop. ‘It’s alright, Em, just don’t worry about it, okay?’
‘That’s your girlfriend is it?’ Burly Man tipped an oversized chin in my direction. ‘Some boyfriend you are.’
Grabbing Josh, I muttered something about men and women still being able to be friends in this day and age without having to get naked with each other. I think I might have been louder than expected because, before I could so much as clutch at Josh’s jacket, they were jostling again. A rustle of fabric, a flash of dancing footsteps, and I felt a blunt sting across my face. All at once, everything was dark and far too bright, like a child was flickering a light switch. My sinuses were connected to a trip switch in my heart, and each beat offered a sulphuric burn. I was disoriented and, as my eyes watered, I took a wobbly seat on the ground. It may have been cold and wet, but it was better than swaying about.
I knew how these moments played out, I’d seen it a million times before when volunteering with the ambulance. Music concerts were especially healthy for face to fist experiences. Heather was screaming at someone, probably Josh, who was apologising profusely. Her voice was soon joined by the polyester swish of a hi-vis bomber jacket. I blinked away tears, hoping to get a proper look at the face that swam in my vision.
Touching my nose only made my face burn and eyes water all over again. Through damp eyes, he looked like a watercolour painting. Street lights shimmered in one corner, and his hair a wispy flame-red cloud with sideburns that reached down and hugged his face. His blurred lopsided smile was the most beautiful thing I’d seen all night. As he came into focus, so did Josh over his shoulder.
‘Oh, Em, I am … fuck … so sorry. Are you okay?’
Heather slapped at him again. ‘What do you think, idiot?’
She barely touched five-feet-tall in a line-up. Despite that, she was full of energy and, right now, looked like a mother about to grab at naughty earlobes. Josh inched away from her and, in all this, it occurred to me just how many people were happy to watch what was happening, to whisper among themselves instead of help. I lolled about, steadying myself with a palm on the cold wet asphalt. Dropping on his haunches, the first-aider snapped his fingers in front of me.
‘You okay?’ he asked. ‘Is there any blood?’
I frowned, confused. ‘Huh?’
‘Are you bleeding?’ He flashed a torchlight across my eyes and offered a fistful of tissues.
Squinting away from the brightness, I dabbed at my eyes. Anything near my nose made me want to vomit, but there was a small trickle of blood. ‘Thank you.’
‘At least it’s not broken,’ we said in unison.
His mouth twitched, a smile that threatened to widen as he offered me a cold pack. Under the light, his eyes were, in one moment, bottle-green. The next, they were ocean blue. ‘What makes you say that?’
It’s not all bent up and I can still breathe.’ Through squinting eyes, I waggled a finger at his jacket, complete with reflective patches and a blank space for a name badge. ‘It looks just as good on you as it does on me.’
‘Is that so?’
My nose burned, and I rolled forward, tissue to my nose. ‘At least it’s warm, right?’
‘You do a bit of first aid, too?’
I nodded, looking about for my friends. Burly Man had disappeared, and Josh was still being reprimanded by Heather. He looked like a small child, hands up around his chest as if he’d physically shrunk against her anger, which was par for their friendship.
Heather and I met in Grade Two, when my family moved to the area. On the first day of school, while I stood the back of the crowd waiting for something to happen, she strode across the quadrangle, shook my hand, and introduced herself as my new best friend. Who could possibly argue with that?
We met Josh a few months later when he started at the school. He came prepacked with a face full of freckles, crooked teeth, and milk bottle glasses. When the other boys picked on him, Heather went into battle for him, and he’s never forgotten it. Since then, it had been the three of us. Josh slotted into our lives as if he’d always been there and, when I got my first period in the middle of gym class, he whipped out a small make-up bag from his backpack. Inside: pads, tampons, and Panadol. His mum had given it to him, so he could, ‘be a good friend’.
He still carried that make-up bag but, now, it also contained condoms, Berocca, and anything else needed for a quick hangover fix. That was essentially our friendship.
I dabbed at my nose again, resisting the urge to vomit. ‘A little. Mostly concerts.’
‘Why don’t you come across to the first aid station and tell me more about that.’ He held out a hand and pulled me to my feet. Did I mention he had wonderfully strong hands? ‘My name is William.’
I brushed myself down – anything to avoid touching my face. ‘Emmy.’
I followed his jacket through the crowd, the state of my face more of a bemusement and free sideshow attraction to anyone who walked past.
‘So, first aid?’ he asked.
‘Oh, I did get a call up for the tennis in Melbourne last year.’ I followed along with pointed finger and stories at the ready. As often as I could explain the goings on to friends, they didn’t quite get it. This guy? He spoke my language.
‘I am so jealous of you right now.’ William ushered me into the first aid station. ‘I’ve often thought of packing up for a summer and heading down for the tennis.’
The first aid station, which probably doubled as a marquee at family barbecues and sports club days, wasn’t much warmer than the street, but an industrial heater in the corner at least took the chill off the air. That’s more than I could say for the wet patch on my backside. My friends lingered outside, like students waiting outside a principal’s office. Our torches had been handed off to others in the heat of the moment. Occasionally, Heather peered inside, her face wrought with concern.
‘Jealous of me?’ I said with a disbelieving laugh. ‘Please, I’ve just taken a fist to the face.’
‘Well—’ he shrugged ‘—besides that.’
‘How about you?’ I asked, sitting on a chair by the entrance.
He took the seat next to me, bringing water bottles and paracetamol. ‘I did Wimbledon last year. Roland Garros the year before.’
‘You did not.’ Speaking of jealousy.
‘Okay, so, Roland Garros was as a spectator but, you know, always on duty.’ He swung about in his seat and looked at me. ‘Any drugs tonight, Emmy?’
A bright light flashed into my eyes again. God, he was checking my pupils. ‘What? No.’
‘Alcohol?’
‘Too broke for that,’ I said.
William gave me a hard stare, eyebrows reaching for the sky. He was having none of my shit tonight.
‘Alright, maybe a swig of vodka and a schooner from the cheap bar at the hostel, but nothing to get drunk on.’
He scoffed. ‘You and me both. Tonight has been a bottle of raspberry cordial and far too much water.’
‘Doesn’t pay well, does it?’
‘Can’t say it does, but I do love it.’ For a second, it looked like he’d folded in on himself. He popped a blister pack of painkillers. ‘No allergies?’
I shook my head. His fingers grazed my palm as he dropped the tablets in my hand. My toes curled, and breath hitched. ‘No, and thank you.’
‘You want to hang about for a while, so I can keep an eye on you?’
Heather’s eyebrows disappeared up into her hairline and her mouth rounded into a scandalised ‘O’. When Josh suggested they leave me, I didn’t try and stop them; I was happy where I was. There was a quick agreement that it would be easier if I just met them back at the hostel instead of arranging a meeting point. Before leaving, Heather snapped off a quick Polaroid.
I scowled at her. ‘What do you want to do that for?’
‘For posterity’s sake. Maybe prove to people you got into a scrap.’ She grinned, disappearing into the throng of people.
Josh held a steadying hand on her shoulder. I looked back at William, chin buried in the neck of his jacket and wild hair everywhere. I pulled my beanie off, forcing it into an already bulging pocket.
‘I sure you’ll be fine, but just be mindful of it, will you?’ he said, eyes glued to the crowd wandering past. ‘If you have a lot of swelling—’
‘Or trouble breathing, go to the A&E?’ I flashed a stubborn smile. ‘I will.’
‘You know, it’s you who’s supposed to be listening to me,’ he teased. ‘And it’s definitely not broken if you’re laughing at me.’
‘Yeah, well. Call me a bitter med school reject.’ My nose had settled into a dull throb, the kind I knew would still be around in the morning. But at least the bleeding had stopped.
‘Reject? No. They let me in, they should have definitely let you in.’
‘You’re a doctor?’
‘Yup, a junior doctor,’ he said. ‘And in a couple of years, I’ll be a GP.’
‘What an effort.’ I sighed. ‘You love it?’
‘Adore it. It’s the best job.’ He smiled. ‘I mean, it’s got its moments but…’
I grinned. My nose ached. ‘Yeah, I get it.’
My plan, thwarted as it might have been, was to train as a doctor, because how good is it to do things that feel good for other people? Even volunteering, seeing people off into an ambulance, at least I’d been able to help, or make them more comfortable for a few moments in time. Recently, I’d had a call up from the local hospital, allowing me to volunteer in the maternity ward. There was nothing better than my few hours a week spent in there. But I didn’t need to explain this to William, he understood.
Instead, we sat quietly beside each other and watched the crowd shift and change. They moved up and back along the street, A bright orange light filtered down the street, highlighting the faces of young and old alike.
Whether we’d been joined by anyone else in the first aid station was beyond my comprehension. There’d been no call to attention, and no one had approached for anything more than paracetamol and water. We huddled in our jackets, watching, waiting.
Fireworks exploded above our heads with a loud crack, ripping through the night sky, and sending rainbow-coloured sparks back down to earth. Conversations stopped mid-sentence as crowds gasped as marvelled. It didn’t matter how old you were, fireworks were still a thing of wonder. I looked up in time for another thunk, whistle,crack, sparkle, fizzle.
When the last one sizzled into memory, I stood and brushed myself off again. William looked up at me, his face expressionless.
‘William.’ I held my hand out to him. ‘Thank you for your help tonight.’
‘Pleasure’s all mine.’
For a moment, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, even though I’d been in this same situation myself time and time again. So, I went with what was … normal and totally not creepy.
‘Well, goodnight.’
His smile reached his piercing blue eyes. ‘Goodnight, Emmy.’
With that, I walked away. People were moving back down the hill towards the station, the crowd noticeably thinner and torches snuffed one by one. A haze of grey smoke had settled above the street. I chanced a glimpse back at the first aid station, not knowing what to expect. There he was, hair aflame and smile wide, chatting excitedly and handing out bottles of water.
Smiling to myself despite the throbbing pain in my nose, I turned and walked away.
Chapter 2 (#u23b3b596-9d2c-5e55-ae22-58afe5c38102)
I’d been a little relieved when I finally clapped eyes on the bouncing kangaroo held aloft above the Ceilidh crowd. That stuffed toy was the signpost of our tour guide, for meeting, for lunch, and for relative safety as we travelled. Given most our group were Australian, it seemed fitting. There’d been a moment of panic earlier when I’d traipsed past a Ferris wheel and between rainbow-coloured show rides and couldn’t see it. My brain began running through a thousand different Emmy Has Got Herself Lost Overseas on New Year’s Eve scenarios. My heart slowed to a steady rhythm when I saw Josh’s lanky arm waving over everyone’s head. The consulate would not be dealing with me on this trip.
‘Emmy!’ Heather appeared from the throng, arms outstretched for a hug. I made sure to keep my still sore nose clear of any squashing.
‘Hey, you,’ I said. ‘What’d you get up to today?’
I’d woken to a note pinned on the underside of the bunk above me. Today was a free day, a keep yourself entertained type day, and my friends had disappeared early, along with everyone else. After my efforts last night, I was happy to enjoy the solitary sleep in, especially if I got the bathroom to myself without fighting anyone. Checking that I was mostly bruise-free, if a little sore still, I spent the day alone – something refreshing after weeks cooped up in the constant presence of other travellers.
Heather rattled off her day’s itinerary, the old monuments, museums, and back alley adventures. Josh, the avid walker he was, had trekked them up Arthur’s Seat before taking her out for a haggis lunch afterwards.
A traditional Scottish band soared to life on the stage ahead.
I’d spent my day meandering around the city centre, taking the stroll from our hostel into the city, and stopping at a chocolate shop for a rich hot chocolate topped with chocolate whipped cream. It was the perfect refresher as I made my way through cobblestone streets and uber green parks.
Cheap souvenirs were about all I could afford, and that was fine, because they were a sight to behold. Kilted sheep, ashtrays, and miles of thistle themed items kept even the most astute traveller happy judging by the sheer swarm of people in each of the stores dotted along the Royal Mile. My sister was getting a thistle stamped coffee cup, just because she could be a bit prickly when she wanted to.
‘What about your friend from last night?’ Heather asked.
I shot her a surprised look. ‘My who?’
‘That guy from last night. The first aider,’ she said. ‘Looked like you were getting along alright when we saw you.’
‘William?’ I smiled. The truth was, my heart skipped each time he’d worked his way into my thoughts, which had been often enough that I’d thought I’d seen him strolling over Waverley Bridge earlier in the afternoon. It wasn’t him but, for a brief second, I was prepared to give chase. ‘He was lovely, wasn’t he?’
‘Oh.’ She smiled knowingly, looking to Josh. His face mirrored hers in the sweet mockery of friendship. ‘His name is William. Josh, Joshua, he has a name.’
‘Be quiet. He was lovely, and he helped me when I needed it. I’m sure he was just doing his job.’ Though, even as I said those words, a part of me hoped that wasn’t solely the case.
Underneath Edinburgh Castle, bathed in soft purple light, traditional Scottish music rang out across the parish gardens. Our guide attempted shouting instructions over the top of it all, but he was easily drowned out. It needn’t have mattered; friends and strangers broke off into small groups as the dancing began in earnest.
