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“Is the little boy scared?” Bea asked the waitress, Libby. “I remember Marcus and Alex hiding under tables when it stormed. They were little like that.”
“He isn’t afraid.” Libby tried to move the cook, but Bea wouldn’t budge.
The bells chimed, signaling that the café door had opened. A breeze too cool for mid-May swept through the café and the rain became a deafening roar. Lissa didn’t have to look to know who would be coming through the door. She knew because the woman, Bea, glanced from the door to Oliver and back to the door. She knew because Oliver stopped looking worried and grinned big.
“I’m going back to the kitchen,” Bea announced. “Marcus is in big trouble.”
Marcus nodded a greeting to a few people, pulled off his hat and headed in their direction. He half grinned at Oliver as he pulled out the empty chair at their table.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked as he folded his lean, athletic frame into the seat. He’d taken off his hat and he dropped it on Oliver’s head.
Lissa started to ask if it mattered that she did mind. Instead, she forced a smile and shook her head. “No. Of course not.”
At her terse response he grinned and nodded at the coffee cup on the table. He turned the cup over for the waitress to fill and leaned back as if he didn’t feel the tension. But even Oliver felt it. The boy glanced from Marcus to Lissa and back to Marcus.
“Are you enjoying your biscuits and gravy?” he asked Oliver.
“Yeah. They’re the best.” Oliver took another big bite. “Can I see your dog again?”
“Maybe,” he answered.
Lissa wanted to hurt him for being so noncommittal. She wanted to yell at him for invading their lives and turning everything upside down. But then, hadn’t she been the one doing the invading? Because she’d made this trip, none of their lives would ever be the same.
“Hey, Oliver, want to come back to the kitchen and help me make today’s dessert? You can even taste the pudding to make sure it’s good.” Essie, owner of the café and Marcus’s aunt, approached their table. She wiped her hands on her apron and appeared to be completely innocent of interfering.
“Can I?” Oliver looked from Essie to Lissa. And then his gaze drifted to Marcus, and for the first time the boy seemed confused and unsure of the situation. “Aunt Lissa, are you okay?”
“Of course I’m okay. And yes, you can go with Miss Essie. I think that would be fun. When you get back, we’ll leave.”
He gave her a quick hug, and the feel of his small arms wrapping around her neck was the sweetest thing ever. He wasn’t hers, but she loved him as if he were. Marcus Palermo could take him from her. She’d known that when she came here. She’d known for the past year that her time with Oliver might be limited. It had been a constant source of stress.
Essie gave them both a long look that held a lot of meaning, then she walked off with Oliver’s hand tucked in hers. The two were discussing chocolate pie and brownies. Oliver glanced back as he walked through the door to the kitchen.
“Surprise,” Marcus whispered as the doors to the kitchen closed. They weren’t alone. There were still people in the café sending them curious looks that they didn’t try to disguise.
“Yes. I didn’t expect to see you this morning.”
“Imagine how I felt when my aunt showed up at my place to inform me there was a woman in town and she had a little boy that looks a lot like me. Why are you still in town?”
He had a point. A good one. “I couldn’t leave. I wanted you to have a night to think about Oliver and being a father.”
“So you planned on giving me another chance?” He arched a brow at her, clearly questioning her honesty. Or her sanity.
Lissa didn’t quite know what to say.
She had wanted to go on, to forget Marcus and Bluebonnet Springs. But Oliver had been in the back seat of the car, his dark eyes intent on her face in the mirror, and he’d asked about Marcus and wondered if he’d been a friend of his mommy. Pushing aside her feelings of protectiveness, for Oliver’s sake she’d searched for a place to stay. For one night, she’d told herself. To give Marcus a chance.
She didn’t want to get ten years down the road and have Oliver ask her why she’d kept him from his father. She also didn’t want to settle into her life as Oliver’s mom and have Marcus show up out of the blue one day and take him.
“You could give a guy a chance to catch his breath. This did come out of nowhere,” Marcus said. The admission seemed pulled from deep inside. “It’s hard for me to imagine Sammy keeping this from me. I know we weren’t a good match. But he’s mine. That’s pretty obvious.”
“So, does a new day make things different for you?”
“His mercies are new every morning.” He spoke so softly she almost didn’t hear the words she hadn’t expected from this hardened cowboy. “Nothing is different. But everything has changed.”
“Meaning?”
“I don’t know how to be a father. I didn’t plan on getting married or bringing kids into the world.”
“You can’t undo what already is.” Her heart ached for the little boy who at that moment was eating pudding and didn’t know that his father was sitting there trying to figure out if he could be a part of his life.
He toyed with the spoon next to his coffee cup. “It isn’t that I don’t want him. But I don’t want to hurt him. He’s better off with you.”
“He’s your son.”
He sat there for a long minute looking at her. “Right. My son that Sammy didn’t tell me about. That speaks volumes.”
“She was afraid.”
“Of me.” One brow arched. She understood what he meant. Sammy had given birth to his son and then decided he wasn’t suitable to be in his child’s life. And later she’d regretted that decision.
Meeting him changed everything for Lissa. She hadn’t expected to like him. She hadn’t expected a lot of things about him. Like his thoughtfulness. Or the depth of emotion in his dark eyes.
“Time goes by and what seemed like a good decision starts to look like a bad one. Sammy regretted not telling you. And then she ran out of time.” She closed her eyes to regroup. It had been a year. She still missed her friend. Her sister. “And now you’re about to make the same mistake. What looks like a good idea today, five years down the road, might be the worst mistake of your life.”
“Valid point,” he said. “But if I allow you to tell him I’m his father, and I hurt him... Five years down the road, we can’t undo the damage. Speaking from experience, that kind of hurt can’t be undone.”
She wasn’t here to share stories, but she understood the damage an abusive parent could do to a child. She understood the scars, invisible and visible.
She understood how it affected relationships.
“You should at least get to know him.”
“How would that work, me getting to know him? How would you explain to him who I am and why he is spending time with me?”
“I’m not sure. We don’t have to tell him you’re his dad. Not until you’re ready. Or until we think he is ready.”
She glanced toward the window. The sky had darkened and, if possible, the rain came down harder.
“This rain is only getting worse.”
He was right. The rain was coming down in sheets. After the previous week of rain, she knew that the creeks would rise. The roads back to San Antonio would be a nightmare.
Before she left, she had to put all of her cards on the table. He deserved the whole truth, even if it meant losing Oliver. She reached into her purse and pulled out the letter.
“You should read this. Sammy left it with her will.”
He took the paper, but he didn’t open it. Instead, he slipped it into his pocket. “I’ll look at it some other time.”
“Sooner rather than later, Marcus.”
“Right.”
“Fine, here’s my number.” She wrote it on a napkin and handed it to him.
Thunder crashed and the windows rattled with the force of the wind. He glanced at her number and back to the storm raging outside. “You might ought to stay in town.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s just a little rain. And it might let up before I leave. I have to pack up and check out of our room at the B and B.”
She stood to retrieve Oliver from the kitchen, but Marcus pushed himself out of his chair first. “I’ll get him.”
It was a start, so she waited where she stood and watched as he headed for the kitchen.
He had stories. She didn’t want them. She didn’t want to be affected by a man her foster sister had deemed “too broken.” She’d always had a soft spot for broken things. It was her reason for becoming a nurse. Because as a nurse she had a reason to care, a reason to fix broken people. Fix them and send them home. Once she sent them home, they were out of her life. And then she had new people to care about, to help.
Lissa knew her own hang-ups. She had lived in a broken and abusive home with a mother who never put her child first. A mother she had tried to fix. And she’d failed. Time and again. Six months ago she had promised herself that she wouldn’t be used. Ever again. She wouldn’t enable. She wouldn’t give money. She would always care—she would pray for the woman who had given her life—but she wouldn’t give her the power to hurt her.
She and Sammy had been from similar backgrounds. As teens in the Simms home, they had made a pact to never be abused again, or tie themselves to broken men who would wound them the way their own mothers had been wounded. And they wouldn’t have children with men who would leave scars.
When Sammy had met Marcus, she’d been drawn to him in a way she’d deemed unhealthy. She’d never introduced him to Lissa, but she’d told her about him and about how easy it had been to fall for his charm. She’d lost herself a little, and when she realized that, she’d broken things off.
A few minutes later Marcus returned with Oliver. His aunt stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her mouth a firm line of disapproval. Marcus squatted, putting himself at eye level with his son. Lissa watched, wondering if Oliver suspected that this man was his father.
“You be good, okay?” Marcus said. She heard the rasp of emotion and knew he cared. That he cared spoke well of him. If only he realized that.
“I’ll be good. Can I come back and see your dog?” Oliver took a slight step forward. “And could I get a hat like yours?”
Marcus nodded and he looked up, meeting her gaze. He stood and backed up a step, putting a hand on his son’s head.
“We’ll be in touch?” Lissa asked.
Again he nodded. She took Oliver by the hand and left. Even though he’d said they would be in touch, she wondered if he meant to keep his word or if this was an easy way to say goodbye.
Chapter Three (#u564ad831-6c0d-5924-b3b3-6e69e0263085)
A couple of hours after saying goodbye to Lissa and Oliver, Marcus was in the field, feeling thankful for a break in the clouds and for the help of his twin.
“How much rain are we supposed to get?” Marcus asked Alex as the two of them moved cattle from twenty acres along the creek to higher ground. They had opted for ATVs over horses. The rain had slacked off for a short time and they wanted to get the job done as quickly as possible.
“They’re saying up to a foot of rain toward the weekend. This is just the appetizer,” Alex responded as he moved his four-wheeler the opposite direction in order to keep a few steers from bolting back toward the creek.
Marcus glanced in the direction of his house. If they got that much rain, his house would be under water. The creek was coming up fast. He had sandbags, but he knew he couldn’t control the rise of water if there was a flash flood.
“We’ll do what we can to keep the water out,” Alex called out as they moved the cattle through the open gate.
A cow spooked. Marcus went after her, turning the four-wheeler hard to the right to stop her. She moved back to the herd and Alex closed the gate behind her. As they headed for the barn, the rain started again. They hit the throttles and raced side by side, stopping after they’d reached the safety of the equipment barn.
Alex was laughing as he climbed from the four-wheeler. He took off his hat and shook it. “Wow, this makes a guy want to build an ark.”
Marcus shrugged out of his raincoat. “I hate rain.”
“But you hate it more when we’re going through a drought and everything dries up.” Alex sat sideways on the seat of the ATV. “So, when are you going to tell me about your kid?”
“I guess I kind of thought it wasn’t any of your business.”
“Really? I’m your brother. Your twin. It seems to me I’d be the person most likely to listen if you need to talk. You had to know that everyone in town would be talking about how much that little boy looks like you.”
“I guess I hadn’t thought about it. And no need to analyze my mental condition, brother, I’m fine.”
“Of course you’re fine. But you have a son. That’s huge.”
“Yeah, it is.” He sat there thinking about Oliver. “He seems like a pretty great kid. And I don’t want to mess that up for him.”
“I get that. But we don’t always get to choose how things work out,” Alex responded. “Well, we should make a run for the house before the rain picks up again.”
“You can head home. I’ll do the rest of this myself. I’m sure you want to see Marissa.” Alex’s wife of five months. He’d found her standing on the side of the road in a wedding dress. She was a little bitty thing, but fierce, and she’d convinced Alex to give up his single ways. They’d married in December, a year after they’d first met.
Alex wasn’t Marcus. As kids they’d been different as night and day. The same went for the two of them as adults. Alex thought things out and let things go. Marcus had always battled it out and held on to his anger. When it came to their father, Alex had tried to reason. He’d searched to find ways to solve their problems. Conversely, Marcus had gone at Jesse and he’d paid physically for his efforts.
Marcus’s phone buzzed. He glanced at the unfamiliar number and answered. “Marcus Palermo.”
“Marcus, Guy Phipps here. We’ve got a car in the ditch just south of the old crossroads bridge.”
“Who is it?” He glanced at his brother. Alex had moved closer, pulling out his phone as he did. Probably worrying about his wife. Or their sister Lucy. Even Maria, if she was on her way home from college. She’d begun her summer break just a few days ago and planned on heading home.
“Not from around here. Name is...” Guy paused. “Name’s Lissa Hart. She’s got a little boy with her. She said to call you.”
He took a deep breath and made eye contact with Alex, who now appeared worried. “Are they hurt?”
“Nothing serious. Doc is here. He’s checking her shoulder. The little guy might have bumped his head.” Guy paused again. In the background, Marcus heard sirens.
It shook him. Marcus could willingly get on the biggest and meanest bulls in the country, a ton of pure rage and power. It might get his adrenaline going, but it didn’t shake him. It didn’t make him feel weak as a kitten and helpless to do anything.
“Guy, are they taking them to the hospital? Do I need to meet them somewhere?” Marcus glanced at Alex, who had followed as he walked away, wanting privacy, wanting to put on a mask, as if this didn’t matter. Alex wore a worried expression and Marcus knew his own would match. The two of them might be different, but they were the same. The twin thing wasn’t just a myth.
He knew Alex would feel his concern. And from that troubled look in his dark eyes, Marcus understood Alex felt his brother’s guilt. He’d sent the kid away. He didn’t know how to be a dad, so he had sent his son on down the road in the middle of a torrential rainstorm with floods predicted. Proof that he didn’t deserve to be a parent. He wasn’t any better than his own father, putting his own feelings ahead of the safety of a child.
And Lissa. He hadn’t given her a second thought once he’d said his goodbyes. At least, he’d told himself he wasn’t going to give her a second thought. It counted, that he’d intended to forget her. But even now, those blue eyes of hers triggered a memory. She’d challenged him to care. For his son.
Few people got away with challenging him. Few people had the backbone for it.
On the other end of the line the first responder was giving him information. He had to focus. “Doc said he’s going to drive them back to his office if you want to meet him there. The boy is asking for you. He’s a tough kid.” There was a smile in the first responder’s voice.
“Put him on the phone.” Marcus waited and pretty soon a hiccup over the phone told him Oliver was there and fighting tears. “Hey, little man. You okay?”
“I hit my head.”
“I bet that hurt.”
