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“It’s simple, Jay. We look at life, at things that go wrong, and we just see things that went wrong, that didn’t go our way. And sometimes they went wrong for the right reason, because God has a better plan.”
Jay smiled. “I got dumped for a reason that I don’t yet understand.”
“Bingo.” Pastor Dan gave him a hearty slap on the back. “You’ll find Lacey in the youth room. She’s mopping, so don’t step on the floor. It really irks her if you step on her wet floor.”
“Does she work here every week?”
“She volunteers. Our cleaning lady moved and Lacey considers this one of her ministries.”
“Has anyone bothered to tell her that God doesn’t require works?” He sighed, because he hadn’t meant to say the words.
Pastor Dan only laughed. “It isn’t about works. It’s about love and the works grow from that love, and from her faith. You know that, Jay. When you’ve gone through what Lacey has gone through, you’re a little more appreciative of a new life.”
“Maybe so.”
“Get that meal in there before it gets cold.” Dan nodded to the bags. “Oh, any news on Corry?”
“None.”
Pastor Dan shook his head. “I hate that for her.”
Jay nodded and headed on up the sidewalk, carrying the meals that were still warm, and telling himself that he was doing what his mom would want him to do. He was taking care of Lacey.
He found Lacey standing in the hall outside the youth room, her hair in a dark auburn ponytail. Her skin glowed, glistening with perspiration.
She turned and smiled at him, the smile hesitant. “Have they found her?”
He shook his head, not surprised by the question. Of course her thoughts were focused on Rachel and Corry. He lifted the bags of food.
“You should eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I am, and I don’t like to eat alone.” He handed her one of the bags. “We could sit outside.”
“Shouldn’t you be at home?”
“My mom is staying in Springfield for a few days. Dad has a pretty serious workload this week and can’t make it home, so she’s with him.”
“You have chores to do at home.”
“I’ll do them when I get there.” He nodded toward the door, amazed that it took so much convincing to get one woman to sit and eat with him. That was a pretty harsh blow to his ego and he’d never thought of himself as prideful.
“People will talk.” She continued her objections, but she followed him out the side door to the playground and the pavilion.
“Talk about what?”
“You know, they’ll talk about us. I promise you, that isn’t what you want.”
He sat down on the top of the picnic table and she sat next to him. “It might not be what you want.”
She opened the plastic bag and pulled out the container. She lifted the lid and smiled at the club sandwich and fries. “I promise you, Jay, being seen with you could only be good for me. And thank you for this. You either made a good guess, or Jolynn made the sandwich.”
“Jolynn.” He opened his container. “I asked her what you liked.”
She groaned and he glanced sideways. She looked heavenward and shook her head. “Jolynn, she’s the main contributor to the rumor mill, bless her heart.”
“We’ll deal with it.” He didn’t want to deal with it. Lacey squirted mayo on her plate and dipped a corner of her sandwich into it before she took a bite. He pulled the onions off his burger.
“Thank you for the sandwich.” She spoke after a few minutes. Jay nodded. The quiet between them had been nice. He didn’t really want to admit it, not even to himself, but she was easy to be around.
“You’re welcome. Tell me something, Lacey, why and how do you do it all?”
“Do it all?”
“Work doubles, go to school.” He shrugged. “You’re going to school, right?”
“I never graduated from high school.” She turned a little pink and took another bite of sandwich.
“Okay, work, school, church, the nursing home, cleaning and nursery. Why?”
“Because I…” She looked away, the summer breeze picking up dark hair that had come loose from her ponytail. She brushed it back with nails that were painted dark pink but were chipping at the ends.
She smiled at him. “Because it makes me feel good to be a part of this community.”
He didn’t buy it.
“I’ve always tried too hard, too,” he admitted. “It isn’t easy, being a Blackhorse and knowing people expect a lot from you.”
She choked on her last bite of sandwich. As she gasped for air, he handed her a clean napkin. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.
“I’m not trying to do anything.”
“Okay.” But she was.
He sighed and let it go, because he couldn’t explain what Lacey didn’t want to hear. They were fighting a battle that had already been fought and paying for sins that were already paid for. They were forgetting the grace that covered a multitude of sins.
“Jay, if you want to say something, say it. I’m really tired and not in the mood for games.” She looked at him like he really had just fallen off the turnip truck. “What exactly are you trying to tell me?”
“That you don’t have to work so hard to be accepted, or worry that God will kick you out of His house.”
Her eyes widened and she moved away from him, picking up her empty Styrofoam as she went. “You do know.”
“Lacey, that isn’t…”
She lifted a hand, a hand that shook. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear what you think of my life or what I’ve done, or how it was okay. You don’t know how I feel.”
No, he didn’t. He shook his head and she walked away.
* * *
Bailey answered the door on the third knock. She opened the door, eyes a little sleepy and blond hair wispy. Lacey shoved trembling hands into her pockets.
“You were sleeping.”
“No, I wasn’t.” Bailey yawned, proof that she had been asleep. “Come in, I could use company.”
“Good, because I’m looking for a place to hide.”
“You’ve come to the right place. I’m here alone. Cody and our little angel went to a horse auction in Tulsa. They won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“I don’t really want to fall apart in front of Cody and Meg.”
“You, fall apart?” Bailey motioned her into the house that she and Cody had built earlier in the spring. They had just moved in last month.
“Me, fall apart, never.” Lacey followed her friend into the kitchen and pulled out a bar stool at the island.
“Have they found Corry and Rachel?”
Lacey shook her head. She wrapped her hands around the glass of iced tea that Bailey put on the counter before she sat down across from Lacey.
“Well?”
“Jay knows.”
“Knows where they are?”
“Knows about me.” She slid her hands up the glass and they came away wet and cold from condensation. “I guess I knew, but I wanted to believe that only the people I wanted to tell would know.”
“He won’t tell anyone.”
“I know he won’t.” Or did she? She could only remember the look on Lance’s face when he learned the truth. He had been shocked and disgusted. Jay had shown pity.
She wanted to cry, because the past couldn’t be undone. What she had done couldn’t be forgotten. It was in black and white, for anyone to find. She had been arrested for prostitution. It had felt dirty then, and it still felt dirty.
“God forgives, Bailey, I know that. But forgetting and forgiving myself is the real trick. People are so quick to judge, and to walk away. Everyone thinks they know the story and how to fix it.”
“I know.” Bailey shrugged slim shoulders. “Okay, I don’t know. But in a way, I do. I came home from Wyoming pregnant. It wasn’t easy, and it obviously couldn’t be hidden.”
Lacey nodded, because she had met Bailey when Meg was just a baby. The two had become friends because they’d both felt a little lost and alone that first year of Meg’s life, and the first year of Lacey’s life in Gibson.
“I don’t want Jay to look at me the way Lance looked at me.”
“He’s a different person.”
“True, we’re not dating and he doesn’t feel like I’ve kept something from him. I should have been honest with Lance from the beginning.”
“Maybe, but if he’d loved you, he would have taken time to understand. Just remember, Jay and Lance are two different people.”
Lacey smiled, and it wasn’t hard to do, not with her best friend sitting next to her. “You can give up the matchmaking, my friend. I’m not going to be the dirty sock in the Blackhorse family’s clean sock drawer.”
“That’s the most absurd statement.”
“I like a touch of absurdity from time to time. But you have to admit, it’s a fitting analogy.”
“It’s not. And because you made such a ridiculous statement, you have to make us a salad.”
“Bailey, can I really stay in Gibson if everyone finds out the truth?” Lacey looked at her friend, hoping for answers. The thought of leaving left a wound in her heart because this town really was home.
“You can’t leave, Lacey. What would we do without you?”
“Make your own salad?”
“See, I’d be lost without you in my life.”
Lacey hugged her friend and then hopped down from the stool. “I’ll make your salad, but you have to make ranch dressing. That’s what friends do for each other.”
Her cell phone buzzed. Lacey pulled it out of her pocket and groaned. “It’s Jay.”
“Answer it.”
“I don’t want to talk to him. He can leave a voice mail.”
Bailey grabbed the phone and flipped it open. “Hi, Jay.”
She talked for a minute and then handed the phone to Lacey. She wasn’t smiling, and Lacey’s heart sank with dread.
“Jay?”
“Lacey, Corry is in Springfield.”
“Okay. Where in Springfield? What about Rachel? Are they okay?”
“I’m afraid that’s all the news that I have. They haven’t caught them.”
“Caught them?” She took shallow breaths and sat back down on the stool. “What does that mean?”
“She and her boyfriend robbed a convenience store. Lacey, they had a gun.”
“Rachel?”
“I’m sure she’s still with them.”
Lacey closed her eyes, fighting fear, fighting thoughts that told her that Rachel would be hurt, or worse. She didn’t want to think about what this meant for her sister. “They don’t know for sure?”
“They don’t. Do you want me to come and get you? If you can’t drive, I can come over there.”
She could drive, of course she could. Her hands shook and she didn’t want to think, to let it sink in.
