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Waiting For You
Catherine Miller
‘An emotional debut written straight from the heart’ – Julie Cohen, author of Dear ThingWaiting for You is an emotional and gripping debut novel you won’t be able to put down…You’d never guess that Fliss Chapron doesn’t have it allAll Fliss wants is to see two blue lines telling her she is pregnant with her much longed for second baby. But as the negative tests stack up, dreams of completing her perfect family feel more hopeless every day.After years of disappointment, Fliss’s husband Ben is spending more time at the office than in their marital bed, and Fliss finds herself wondering who could be responsible for their inability to conceive another child. Yet, where do you lay the blame when it comes to having a child – and can anyone really be at fault…As Ben becomes increasingly distant, Fliss begins to question whether her desire for a baby is just a sticking plaster to save her marriage. Because in the end, how well can you ever know another person…even the man you’re married to?Don’t miss the new novel from Catherine Miller, All That is Left of Us coming soon!Praise for Catherine Miller’s Waiting for You‘A great concept with a theme lots of women will relate to. I really enjoyed it.’ – Katie Fforde, author of A Summer at Sea'Memorable characters and a life-enriching, emotional plot. Love it.' – Sue Moorcroft‘a highly-emotional, moving novel, full of longing, hope and surprises waiting just around the corner.’ – Becca’s Books‘Only a few pages in, and I couldn’t stop reading, having found myself involved in Fliss’s story and eager to find out what happened next.’ – Portobello Book Blog‘This book had many things I love in a good book and it kept me guessing with twists I wouldn’t have expected and moments that made me giggle.’ – A Writer in a Wheelchair‘I thought this book was very realistic in its depictions of modern motherhood.’ – Alicia (Goodreads)‘Waiting for You was an easy book to read as it was so engaging. The writing flowed well and it was well plotted out. There were quite a few surprises I had no idea were coming, just when I thought I had it all worked out!’ – Rock Chick Blog‘a great read which I thoroughly enjoyed.’ – Fiona’s Book Reviews
You’d never guess that Fliss Chapron doesn’t have it all
All Fliss wants is to see two blue lines telling her she is pregnant with her much longed for second baby. But as the negative tests stack up, dreams of completing her perfect family feel more hopeless every day.
After years of disappointment, Fliss’s husband Ben is spending more time at the office than in their marital bed, and Fliss finds herself wondering who could be responsible for their inability to conceive another child. Yet, where do you lay the blame when it comes to having a child – and can anyone really be at fault…
As Ben becomes increasingly distant, Fliss begins to question whether her desire for a baby is just a sticking plaster to save her marriage. Because in the end, how well can you ever know another person…even the man you’re married to?
Waiting for You is an emotional and gripping debut novel you won’t be able to put down…
Waiting for You
Catherine Miller
Copyright (#ulink_66dd557c-7774-5592-a147-a6210fba6b2c)
HQ
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2016
Copyright © Catherine Miller 2016
Catherine Miller asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
E-book Edition © March 2016 ISBN: 9781474047302
Version date: 2018-09-19
CATHERINE MILLER
When Catherine became a mum to twins, she decided her hands weren’t full enough so wrote a novel with every spare moment she managed to find. By the time the twins were two, Catherine had a two-book deal with HQ Digital. There is a possibility she has aged remarkably in that time.
Catherine was an NHS physiotherapist, but for health reasons (Uveitis and Sarcoidosis) she retired early from this career. As she loved her physiotherapy job, she decided if she couldn’t do that, she would pursue her writing dream. It took a few years and a couple of babies, but in 2015 she won the Katie Fforde bursary, was a finalist in the London Book Fair Write Stuff Competition and highly commended in Woman magazine’s writing competition. Soon afterwards she signed with HQ Digital. Soon after that, she collapsed in a heap and was eventually revived by chocolate.
Catherine is one eighth of the award-winning bloggers, The Romaniacs: https://theromaniacgroup.wordpress.com/ (https://theromaniacgroup.wordpress.com/)
You can follow Catherine on Twitter @katylittlelady (https://twitter.com/katylittlelady)
This book has been a while in the making - from the initial idea in 2012 to managing to find the time to write when I became a new mum to twins in 2013 - so I have lots of people to thank. Firstly my husband, Dan. You are a great dad and a wonderfully supportive husband and I probably don’t tell you that often enough so please take this statement and frame it. Our gorgeous daughters, Eden and Amber, you make every day special and I’m truly blessed that you are mine. I’ve dedicated this book to you both as not only do I love you tremendously, you have also gifted me the ability to never procrastinate. To all my family and friends for their patience and support with special mentions to: Monana, Great, Uncle B, Paul, Wendy, Kat, Chrissie, Barbara and Pat – the last couple of years would have been a lot harder/impossible without your help.
I owe a lot of thanks to the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s New Writers’ Scheme. Without the guidance and support I’ve received over the past five years, I wouldn’t have made it to graduation. A special thanks to my very encouraging reader for the past two years – you know who you are. And along with those anonymous readers, I also need to thank some of the people who have been writing mentors to me over the past several years: Sue Moorcroft, Katie Fforde, Amanda Jennings, Penny Legg, Simon Whaley and Rowan Coleman. I think every writer I’ve met has assisted me along the way so a big thank you to all my writing friends, especially the HQ Digital crew.
For powering me through the past few years I would like to thank The AWESOME Romaniacs: Laura E James, Sue Fortin, Vanessa Savage, Celia J Anderson, Lucie Wheeler, Debbie Fuller-White and Jan Brigden. Without your daily input, honks and all round sparkle my life would be incomplete.
For help with research I need to thank Rob Goodwin of Champagne Film for patiently answering my questions.
I also need to give a shout out to all the twin mums at Shirley Double Delights and more. Twin mums and dads rock and you are all testament to that. And a big WHOOP to Liz and all of the Millbrook Slimming World group.
Finally, I have to thank my editor, Victoria, because from the very start she loved this book and her input has made the story even better. I would like to bottle the encouragement she provides as it is immense. I would also like to take the opportunity to add all the little kisses I want to add to the end of my emails to Victoria, but am too busy acting like I’m a professional to do so. I’ve been holding back so here they are: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And if you have made it this far, Dear Reader, I want to thank you for choosing this book. For helping it to grow wings and start its journey in to the world. I’ve loved writing it; I hope you love reading it just as much… Oh, go on then. Here are a few for you… xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
For my darling daughters, Amber and Eden
Contents
Cover (#ua48e499a-7a99-573b-b055-7846fe2846d8)
Blurb (#u851a9225-dc60-5c85-8534-8dafc18a2ec2)
Title Page (#ucf29393e-a46a-50ce-9969-292d524e86d4)
Copyright (#uee93434f-6a09-5837-9310-821aa5182396)
Author Bio (#ue697e774-8a0b-5826-b3b8-d492e6d293d8)
Acknowledgements (#uee53cf9d-e9be-5d9e-8aa5-85b6569b5888)
Dedication (#u7b2f6fc5-7e13-5635-ac55-c908ad717603)
Chapter One (#ua4c3db02-6b6e-5fc9-9c0a-9f6866d4feef)
Chapter Two (#u869dfc3a-fa42-5102-8cc5-df264c13b842)
Chapter Three (#ud66fa05b-84e4-5c4d-816a-6299b41c9620)
Chapter Four (#u389ad007-1bea-57e9-9328-cd163a2b5835)
Chapter Five (#u4e1e010f-961d-5f8f-a3fe-193ad0ce98f2)
Chapter Six (#u06294511-561c-5c9b-bd12-54013c0b6903)
Chapter Seven (#u56cef997-e834-509b-8bfc-6f1017ae50b2)
Chapter Eight (#u8678869f-c7ff-5689-abde-9727ba01ef77)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Endpages (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher
Chapter One (#ulink_860eb913-318d-5940-a905-cf7cecc81a8c)
This time, Fliss used a vase. It was possible this would be the lucky vessel. Over the years it had held many sentiments: flowers of celebration, bouquets of apology and now it contained a rich, yellow brew that represented her future hopes. Fliss dipped the stick in and started the count to ten. One Elephant. Two Elephant.
‘Muuuummmmmm – I’m hungry,’ Hollie said, from the other side of the door.
‘Go play with your toys and I’ll make breakfast in a minute,’ Fliss said. Three Ellie. Four Ellie. She sped the next two up hoping the interruption wouldn’t interfere with her accuracy. Five Elephant. Six Elephant.
‘But Mummmmmmmmmm.’
Seven Elephant.
‘Hollie, I’m on the toilet. Now go and do as I’ve told you before Mummy gets annoyed.’ Eight Ellie. Her daughter hadn’t moved and was scraping about on the landing. ‘One...’ She started the countdown to the naughty step and wondered why Hollie would choose now to be disobedient. Nine Ellie. Was it nine? She’d forgotten where she was at. ‘TWO...’ The force in her voice was more effective this time and soft footsteps traipsed along the landing. Ten Elephant. It must be ten, right?
She pulled the stick out of the vase, popped the cap on, placed it on the side and wondered what to do for the next two minutes. She could go downstairs and make a start on Hollie’s breakfast, but then her daughter could do with learning a little patience. Besides, if she did that, there was no way she’d be back in time for an accurate result. All the packages said you had to disregard the test after ten minutes.
She looked at her watch. Time was standing still and Hollie was up to her familiar trick of doing as she was told for all of ten seconds. ‘I know you’re not in your bedroom, Hollie.’
Fliss fiddled with the door handle with the desired effect: her six-year-old daughter now running to her bedroom.
One minute and counting. Fliss should have waited for her husband, Ben, to be with her, but if she did that, well, she spent far too much of her life hanging round for him. Far better to quash her suspicions now before becoming convinced, only for her irregular period to arrive and crush her hopes. And it was only her that seemed to be crushed each time it happened. Ben often commented on how she should concentrate on the daughter they did have, not become obsessed by something that may never happen. That was the problem she’d found with Ben; he always wanted to get his point across but rarely listened to what she had to say. As her own unquenched desire wasn’t a strong enough argument, she started to point out Hollie’s recent behaviour in a bid to prove she needed a sibling. It would stop the only-child syndrome from developing. He batted her off with, ‘We’re still trying. If it happens, it happens.’
Fliss wished she could be so complacent about it. Like the two minutes she was waiting now; she could really do with having Ben’s cool attitude. Why did her entire life seem to pass by in a hurry right until she needed something to speed up? She glared at her watch as the final fifteen seconds strummed round in a slow and irritating fashion. As the last seconds closed in, Fliss looked for something lucky to hold on to. Hollie’s toothbrush with its princess handle glimmered at her and she grabbed it with her left hand. The ritual was getting stupid, she realised. She picked the stick up with her right hand and levelled it in front of her closed eyes. Could it be that perhaps this time it was going to be different? She visualised the two blue lines in her head. Positive thinking, that’s what would get her through. Believing, at some point, this would truly happen. She saw the positive result and imagined the way it would feel. She remembered the way it had felt when she’d found out about Hollie. Not-long-married, in their expensive, not-family-orientated flat, Ben and Fliss, being on the wrong side of thirty, had been eager to start a family. They’d never for a minute thought it would happen straightaway. When her period didn’t come they rushed to the chemist late at night; she peed into a small decorative bowl, held on to a plastic duck while they waited for the result and then there they were: those two solid blue lines. She’d wept tears of joy at the news then jumped (somewhat cautiously) around the flat blurting out ‘I’m going to be a mum!’, ‘You’re going to be a dad!’, and ‘We’re going to be parents!’ until she’d made herself dizzy and had to sit down, and still the news hadn’t sunk in.
That was how it was going to be this time. She’d call Ben straightaway; they’d both be bowled over by the news. He’d rush from London so they could celebrate and he’d take the rest of the week off so he could spend it with his family.
Quickly (because she’d learnt it was better that way), Fliss opened her eyes to see the results. Even though she knew that one line meant no and two lines meant yes, she still felt the need to double-check the instructions. One line. Negative.
She flung the test into the sink. ‘I knew I wasn’t.’ She said it accusingly to the stick responsible for delivering the blow. ‘Stupid me for even checking.’
‘Muuummmm, why are you stupid?’
Trust Hollie not to miss a trick. ‘Go downstairs, baby, and I’ll be there in a second. I’ll make you blueberry pancakes if you’re good.’
‘Ace!’
Hollie clattered down the stairs giving Fliss a moment of peace. She spent it clearing away the evidence. Vase emptied, cleaned thoroughly (in the hope she hadn’t ruined any future bouquet’s prospects), she threw the negative test into the bin in her bedroom and checked her expression to make sure the news hadn’t had an effect on her features. She pulled at the skin around her eyes in the hope of stretching some of the wrinkles out. Time was beginning to be cruel to her crow’s feet.
Bravado, that’s what she needed. She pasted a cheery smile on her face and told herself it didn’t matter. Next time it would be different. Surely she could get Ben to be true to his word and take some annual leave for her fertile week.
