The Surgeon She Never Forgot

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In spite of living there for well over a year now, she hadn’t got to know any of her neighbours all that well. She stopped to chat to one or two of them now and again, but the hours she worked made socialising a little difficult and her free time was so precious she mostly spent it alone or at the gym. As for dating, well, that had been an area of her life that had never quite got off the ground after she’d returned from London. She’d had dinner a couple of times with a friend of a friend just recently but nothing had come of it. It was intensely annoying but every time she went out with another man she couldn’t help comparing him to Lewis. It was as if Lewis was her benchmark of what she felt to be the ideal man. Everyone else fell short, if not in height, then in looks and personality and intelligence.

It wasn’t that she still felt anything for him, well, nothing she was prepared to openly admit. In her most private moments she allowed herself to unlock that door in her heart where she stored that still weeping wound. Was love supposed to hurt for this long? Surely by now she should have forgotten about him and moved on.

When she had heard he was coming to Sydney to take up a position at St Benedict’s she had been furious. What right did he have to come waltzing back into her life, even if it was only professionally? That was how she had fallen for him in the first place. She had been a medical student on rotation in London, the same hospital where Lewis had been doing his registrar training. The irony was they hadn’t met at the hospital but in a pub frequented by homesick Aussies. She had come in out of the rain just as he had been going out. She had almost stabbed him in the stomach with her umbrella and he had stolen her heart with his ghost of a smile.

It had been a whirlwind romance, or at least for her. Mikki suspected Lewis had been used to a rapid turnover of bedmates. He was very experienced, but looking back she realised that had probably been in comparison to her inexperience.

She had been so terribly young and naive, so fresh faced and enthusiastic about life. She had fallen hard for Lewis, very hard. He had been her polar opposite. She had been bubbly and happy and he had been dark and brooding and serious. She had loved their differences. She’d loved making him smile. She’d taken it on as a mission to make him laugh out loud. She had never achieved it but she had made those lips of his curve upwards at her and his amazingly blue eyes dance a little.

Lewis had always seemed so controlled and in control. He hadn’t needed anyone. He’d had no one to need. His mother had died when he was young, and his father when he’d been a teenager, which had left him with no extended family to speak of. For someone who’d craved others’ approval so much, Mikki had found his air of untouchable aloofness devastatingly attractive. His lone-wolf status had intrigued her. She had been unable to imagine having no one in her life to lean on, but he had always shrugged off any notion of regret about being without a family.

Their first meeting had turned into a date, and then another. Within days of meeting they were sleeping together. She told him she loved him the third week they were together, a spontaneous gushing confession that to this day still embarrassed her. He had not said he loved her back, at least not then. He had just given one of his half-smiles and ruffled her hair, as one would do to a small, over-enthusiastic child. He made no promises but, then, why would he? He knew she was only in the UK for three months. Lewis made it clear he was staying in the UK and Europe for an indefinite period. He had no plans to return to Australia. What chance did they have of a permanent relationship when they were going in different directions?

That point was driven home to her almost daily as he barely acknowledged her at the hospital as he always seemed so determined to keep his private life separate from his professional one. At first Mikki admired his commitment to his career. The neurosurgical pathway was a demanding one. The long hours of difficult operations and arduous study left little time for play. She knew it and accepted it but still she secretly longed for more than he was prepared to give.

She was already neglecting her studies in those first few weeks of being blissfully in love but she felt it was worth it. Lewis was worth it. How he made her feel was worth any sacrifice. But then finding out she was pregnant turned her world upside down. All her career plans took a sudden nosedive. Lewis was shocked at her news but he was determined to do the right thing by her and the baby. He insisted on marrying her as soon as it could be arranged. Mikki had wanted more time to think about taking such a big step. She believed marriage was a lifetime commitment and she had always dreamed of doing it properly. She felt too young. She felt unprepared for all marriage and a baby would entail. Her reluctance to marry in a rush caused many a heated argument, some of which had gone on for days. There never seemed to be enough time to resolve anything. The phone was always ringing with another emergency or a patient needing urgent care. Lewis was a diligent and very capable registrar and the specialists trusted him to do the footwork for them, which he did without question and without complaint. He seemed to thrive on the challenges work threw at him. He relished the difficult cases, working on his skills alongside some of the best-known names in the field.

But Mikki felt Lewis had changed after finding out he was going to be a father. Their relationship changed. She could never put her finger on exactly how it was different, but the subtle change of mood increasingly made her feel as if he was only staying with her out of a sense of duty. Yes, he had said he loved her after she had told him about the baby. He had even said he had been going to say it days earlier but had wanted to find the right time. She wanted to believe him and did for a time. But then the doubts crept in, like shadows under a door. Those shadows lengthened as time went on, reminding her of the precarious position she was in, loving a man much more than he loved her.

After losing the baby, her decision to call off the wedding seemed the only sensible thing to do. Mikki could see Lewis was distancing himself since her miscarriage. They spent no time together, instead passing through the flat like flatmates who barely knew each other. She was preparing herself daily for him to call the wedding off himself but for some reason he didn’t say a word. She lived in a constant state of unease, a feeling of impending doom that destroyed her self-confidence even further.

Her parents, who had flown over the week before, had already spent the whole time they had been there trying to get her to change her mind about going ahead with the marriage. She didn’t want to be influenced by her parents, but neither did she want to make a mistake that would have repercussions for the rest of her life. She thought long and hard about leaving Lewis, but once she had made up her mind it was relatively easy to put the necessary steps in place.

Her parents had taken a couple of days to visit the Cotswolds and arranged to meet her at the airport the following evening when Lewis was on night shift. Mikki left a note and closed the door on their shoebox-sized flat with a sound that still echoed deep within her heart…

* * *

One of the regular dog walkers was coming along the footpath as Mikki collected her mail from the letter-box. She smiled at the middle-aged woman called Margery and reached down to pat the fluffy, pint-sized canine. ‘Hi, there, Muffy. You’re not pulling on your lead today. Those obedience classes must be working.’

The dog’s owner laughed. ‘Yes, they are,’ she said. ‘She was the most improved last session.’

‘That’s very good to hear,’ Mikki said, smiling.

‘The house across the road from you has finally been sold,’ Margery said. ‘Have you met the new owner?’

‘Not that I know of,’ Mikki said, wondering if that was true now or not. ‘Have you?’

‘No, but I heard it was bought by another doctor from St Benedict’s. A specialist of some sort, I’ve forgotten which one. I thought you might know him.’

‘No doubt I will run into him some time,’ Mikki said, prickling with annoyance.

‘I think it’s nice for the neighbourhood to have some more professionals in residence,’ Margery said. ‘I hope he brings a wife and family with him. After all those all-night rave parties with you know who, it will be a nice change to have some young children about the place.’

Mikki exchanged a few more desultory words before going up the path to her town house. She didn’t like where her thoughts were taking her. She was being paranoid. Why should she immediately think it had been Lewis who had bought that stunning and incredibly expensive house? At least a hundred doctors worked at St Benedict’s. Any one of them could have purchased the property. It was in a great location, and it was certainly relatively close to the hospital, which was essential if one was in one of the more emergency based specialities where time was so important.

Mikki tried to put it out of her mind as she went upstairs to shower and change out of her gym gear. She had only just dried and dressed when the doorbell sounded. She flicked back her still damp hair and padded down the stairs, and even though she had a security camera screen to check who was at the door, she didn’t use it. She didn’t need to. She knew exactly who was there and why.

‘Lewis,’ she said as she opened the door. ‘Just the person I want to see.’

‘Well, sweetheart, I’m deeply touched,’ Lewis said dryly. ‘You’re just the person I want to see too.’

She flashed him a furious glare. ‘You’d better come in. I wouldn’t want your future neighbours to take a set against you before you even move into the neighbourhood.’

One of his dark brows winged upward. ‘So you’ve heard about my little purchase across the road?’

Mikki shut the door with a sharp click as he stepped over the threshold. ‘What is this?’ she asked. ‘First you come to work in the same hospital I work in, you eat in the same restaurant I eat in and now you’re moving into the same street. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing’s going on,’ he said. ‘I was headhunted for the post at St Benedict’s.’

Mikki placed her hands on her hips and angled her head at him in suspicion. ‘And the restaurant?’

‘It’s the most popular restaurant on that stretch of Bondi.’

‘And the house?’

He gave her a winning smile. ‘It was a steal. Do you realise how much I would have had to pay for a similar property in London?’

She rolled her eyes at him. ‘There are no beaches in the centre of London so I’m not quite getting the comparison.’

‘It’s a nice house.’

Mikki clenched her hands into fists. ‘It’s right across the street from mine!’

He gave her a guileless look. ‘So?’

She blew out a breath of frustration and fury. ‘So what were you thinking?’ she asked. ‘It’s bad enough I have to see you every day at work.’

‘I thought you said it wasn’t going to be a problem for you at work,’ he said.

Mikki swung away towards the kitchen, her bare feet slapping against the polished floorboards in anger. ‘You could have had least told me about the house when we were speaking earlier today,’ she said. ‘I can only imagine you didn’t because you knew I’d be furious.’