скачать книгу бесплатно
He’d thought his problem was obvious. How could he take her? “I don’t know anything about babies.”
“That’s not really a problem. You can learn.”
He figured she was afflicted with the rose-colored-glasses syndrome. It didn’t matter that this child was his sister’s, that some part of her could be back in his life. “She belongs with her father, not me.”
A brisk wind cut a path through the porch. It whipped at her hair and flapped at the lightweight jacket she wore as if sensing a frail opponent. “I told you.” She hunched her shoulders. “I don’t know who that is.”
Kane shoved the house key into the lock and opened the door for her. “Then we’ll need to find him. Any ideas about where to start?”
She raised a hand, swiped at strands flying across her cheek. “I’d be guessing. I think he’s one of three men she dated on and off during the past two years.”
An urge to touch the silky-looking strands crept over him. “Why didn’t she tell you who the father was?” Shifting his stance, he blocked the wind from her and the baby. “I thought friends told friends everything.”
“Do you?”
He could have told her he had none. He didn’t allow himself that kind of closeness with anyone anymore. “It’s going to take time to find the baby’s father.” Because he wasn’t any more father material than his own dad, he asked a logical question. “What do you expect me to do with her?”
Worry rushed Rachel. She crossed her fingers and toes. She didn’t know what she would do if he refused. “Well—arrangements need to be made—to care for her. You could hire a nanny.”
“Why not you?” he asked, snatching up the pink-and-blue duck bag and the suitcase.
“Oh, no, not me.” Already she’d spent too much time with Heather. It was one thing to bring Heather to him, quite another to stay, care for her daily. She preceded him into the house. “I need to return to Texas.”
“Married?”
Rachel shot a look back at him. “No, I’m not but—”
“I can’t stay home with her,” he said, not giving her time to offer reasons. “Someone needs to be here.”
Rachel wondered what he thought she did to pay rent. “I never intended to stay. I have my job. I—”
He moved and dropped several envelopes and a magazine on a circular maple end table. “Then you’d better have another idea. Because you can’t come here, drop all of this in my lap and take off.”
Rachel scowled at him in vain. Head bent, he was sorting through the envelopes. What he’d said was exactly what she’d planned to do. One evening Marnie had insisted on talking about what-ifs. If something happened to her, she wanted Rachel to be her baby’s temporary guardian until she took the baby to its uncle. “Keep the baby until she’s with Kane, until you’re sure she’s where she’ll be happy,” she’d said.
A week later Marnie was dead, and Rachel’s lightly made promise had become a vow of forever. But what if the two promises didn’t go hand in hand? “I’m sorry, but I’m not the answer to your problem.” Her voice trailed off as those gray eyes fixed on her. She didn’t know what was more disconcerting—being ignored or having those eyes on her.
“What do you do?”
“I’m in charge of customer investments.” His brows knit with a questioning look. “Mutual funds, IRAs, annuities,” Rachel explained.
“So how did you get time off?”
She’d had to. She’d promised her best friend she’d take care of her baby. “After Heather was born, I took a leave of absence because I wasn’t sure when I’d be back. And I stayed home to be with her and to make arrangements, find you. Legally she’s yours, not mine now, because I did find you.”
“I can’t care for her by myself.” He waited a second as if giving his words time to sink in. “I can hire someone until I find the father, but that won’t happen by tomorrow.”
“There are a lot of wonderful people in this town,” Rachel reminded him. “They’ll help—”
“They won’t help me.”
Rachel puzzled over that. “Why wouldn’t they?”
For a long moment he held her gaze with an unflinching one. “If you leave, so does the baby,” he said instead of answering her.
He couldn’t mean that. “How can you—” She heard her own anxiousness and paused, drew a deep breath.
“You want what’s best for her, don’t you?”
What was his point? “Of course, I do.”
“I’m not it.”
Her shoulders slumped. She didn’t know if that was true. But Marnie hadn’t believed that. Seeing the stubborn set of his jaw, she knew he meant what he’d said. She was torn. She needed to protect herself. She could only do that by leaving. He had no idea what he was asking of her. She cast a look at Heather asleep in the infant carrier seat. She was so innocent. Someone had to protect her, too.
If she kept her guard up, she could help them, couldn’t she? Stop! Stop thinking about yourself. Think about the baby. The baby needs you. She remembered how hard it had been for her sister and brother when they’d lost their parents. Though she’d had some difficult times supporting and raising them, she’d done her best to hold them together. She’d known that the more love a child had, the better off the child would be. So she gave them all she could. Heather, too, needed that until Kane found Heather’s biological father or became the daddy Heather needed. “I’ll stay until you hire a nanny.”
“Fine.”
There was such a ring of satisfaction in his voice. “You expected me to change my mind, didn’t you?” Rachel challenged.
“You lead with your heart.” He looked down, checked his watch, offered no more explanation. “I have to leave.”
She assumed with the sky more blue and filled now with lighter, fluffier clouds that he had a tour or a fishing trip.
“Here’s a key to the house.” He detached a key from a ring. “We’ll need to get another made.”
Before she changed her mind, Rachel accepted it, but she hadn’t considered that a yes meant living with him.
“If you need help hauling anything in, leave it, and I’ll do it when I get back.”
She didn’t bother to ask where he was going or how long he’d be gone. With the closing of the door, she stretched for a breath, glad to be alone. He’d disturbed her more than a decade ago. And still did.
Get over it, she told herself while scanning the room. She was here to stay for a few days. But never had she expected to live in this house again. Clasping the key, she eyed the blue Early-American-style sofa. The furniture he’d chosen was an eclectic mix of Early American, Cape Cod and thrift store specials, though the blue sofa and a chair worked together, and the seascape over the fireplace was a blend of blues that suited the room.
Looking around, she could almost see her mother standing by the front window with its endless view of the ocean. Sounds of her brother and sister affectionately squabbling hung in the air. Near the fireplace an image came alive of her father petting the family dog, a black lab.
She loved the house, probably because some of the most wonderful days of her life had passed here with her parents and sister and brother. They’d been a family in the true sense, sharing love and laughter.
Family. She’d always wanted that. Other girls talked about careers, not Rachel. She’d always wanted a family of her own—husband, children. By now she’d thought that she’d be married, have that family, but so much of what she’d yearned for had passed her by. She couldn’t have regrets. There was no going back, no chance to recapture those dreams, and dwelling over what would never happen was a waste of time.
Curious to see if the house had changed, she lifted Heather’s infant seat and went into the kitchen. She’d explore the other rooms later. Stark, the room contained a round, dark-wood table and chairs, and a nineteenth-century corner cupboard. She stared at the shelf above French doors. Her mother had displayed her collection of nineteenth-century Staffordshire children’s plates and mugs on it. Now it was bare. There were no frills, no knickknacks, no decorative touches. The house of a no-nonsense man, Rachel gathered.
She placed Heather’s carrier on the floor by the kitchen table, then began opening and closing cabinet doors to locate coffee. Sparse, the cabinets contained only a few dishes and staples, enough food for one person to keep from starving. The refrigerator held eggs, beer, a few cans of soda, a bottle of good wine and cheese.
After finding the coffee, she started the coffee brewer, then reached for the telephone on a wall near the back door. Before she’d left Texas, she’d phoned her brother and sister. They’d both insisted she call collect when she located Kane.
Rachel stalled, waiting until the coffee finished hissing, then poured herself a cup while she prepared for her brother’s arguments. Sean had been concerned about her making the trip, about taking on the responsibility of Heather, but Rachel had assured her brother that everything was temporary. He would not be happy to hear she was staying.
His brother’s brief businesslike greeting preceded a beep. She left a cheery message, including her new phone number on his answering machine, then punched out Gillian’s phone number. The phone rang ten times. Who knew where her footloose sister was? Still Rachel tried again five minutes later while drinking a second cup of coffee.
“Hello,” a bright, happy voice greeted. People claimed Gillian resembled a redheaded Meg Ryan. Rachel didn’t see the physical resemblance. But both women were slim built, bubbly and had a sparkle in their eyes.
“Hello, yourself,” Rachel said.
“Hey, big sister. How are you? I was thinking about calling you. I have a new job, a modeling job in San Francisco.”
“Modeling?”
“For a hairstylist at a convention, so I’ll be leaving Los Angeles this weekend. I’ll let you know if I end up with orange or magenta hair.” She breezed on without taking a breath. “I assume you found Kane.”
“Yes. I’ll be staying in Hubbard Bay a little longer. What about Hawaii?” Since getting her small-plane pilot’s license nearly two years ago, Gillian had been looking for the “perfect job.” It had come last week. A charter plane company needed another pilot.
“I don’t go for another three months,” she answered. “So why are you staying?”
Rachel explained the situation with Kane.
“You’re living with him?”
“He’s gone most of the day,” Rachel was quick to remind her. Don’t ask what I’m doing. It sounded insane, she knew. She was living with a man she didn’t know, for an indefinite amount of time, to protect a baby she didn’t want to get too close to. The situation was ludicrous.
“Sean was worried you’d get attached. Did you call him?”
“I left a message.”
“He won’t be pleased.”
No, he wouldn’t be, Rachel knew. Even though he was three years younger than her, he’d become as protective as a big brother since he’d become an adult. “I’m not attached. I could hardly leave Heather with a man who knows absolutely nothing about babies.”
“So you’ll stay there until he does?”
Rachel shared with her Kane’s plan to find Heather’s father. “I’ll be here until he hires a nanny or finds the right man. I’m not certain that he’d be best for Heather.”
“You think she should stay with Kane?”
Now there was a question. “I don’t know.”
“Such indecisiveness is so unlike you, Rachel. You usually know what you’re doing at every moment.”
“This is a different situation.”
A smile sprang into her voice. “I’m glad you’re not being too logical.”
“I’m being logical,” Rachel countered but didn’t feel defensive, aware her sister, who was a relentless tease, was having fun at her expense. “The baby needs someone with experience to care for her.”
“You know, it’s all right if you don’t act sensible all the time. For too many years, you had to think about the consequences of everything for you, Sean and me. You need to enjoy. Wing it.”
Rachel laughed. “Wing it?”
“Do something adventurous.”
“And you should show some caution,” Rachel returned.
Another bubbly laugh came through the phone. “Got to go now, sis.”
Rachel shook her head, aware Gillian lacked even a smidgen of caution. Lovable and unpredictable, she lived for the moment. Rachel rattled off Kane’s phone number to her sister and elicited Gillian’s promise to call when she reached San Francisco. Do something adventurous, she’d said. Wasn’t staying with a stranger adventurous enough for a woman who lived an orderly, well-thought-out life?
Chapter Three
A t thirty-one, Rachel would admit that she had fallen into a rut before all this had happened. While her brother worked for a prestigious Boston law firm, and Gillian was still finding herself but was happy with a lifestyle that included traveling, Rachel had settled for what she had, a home in Texas, a job at the bank. She wasn’t unhappy. She had friends, a satisfying job, but there would always be an emptiness in her life. Always.
While Heather finished her nap, Rachel opened the front door to cart in the portable crib and clothes, but the rain had started again. She saw no point in getting soaked. Deciding to wait until the rain eased, she gave in to her curiosity about the house, wanting to see all the rooms, see if they looked the same, sparked memories.
At the end of the short hall was a sparsely decorated, masculine room. On the bed was a homemade dark-blue-and-white patchwork quilt. Had his mother or some other relative made it? On top of a small, round, mahogany table near the window was a photograph. Even from a distance Rachel recognized Marnie’s school photo. In a corner of the room was a three-shelf mahogany bookcase filled mostly with paperbacks. She’d have liked to step in, but felt she’d be invading his privacy.
Instead she crossed into the room that used to be her brother’s. On a clear day its window offered a view of a distant lighthouse, of the endless water. Rachel circled the empty room. In the closet was a pull-down ladder for the attic. Of all the rooms, this one was the most perfect for a nursery. She could imagine Kane’s expression if she hauled all of Heather’s belongings into it. No, for now she would keep Heather in the room near her.
She returned to the kitchen and groped in her shoulder bag for a paperback to read while she waited for the rain to end. The plan had made sense then, but by late afternoon a downpour had begun.
With little choice Rachel placed Heather in the middle of the bed, comforted that a newborn stayed still, and after fishing her van keys from her shoulder bag, she slipped on her rain slicker and headed for the door. Though she loved walking in the rain, she didn’t like storms. She was still wishing that she could avoid going out when she opened the door.
“Where are you going?”
She jumped, then laughed at herself as Kane stood before her. “Out there.” She gestured with her hand at the air and in the direction behind him. “You scared me silly,” she said on a laugh.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He stood so near that she smelled the rain on him. She never lied to herself and wouldn’t start now. The quickening of her pulse had as much to do with a sensual reaction as it had to do with skittishness because he’d appeared so suddenly before her. “I need to get Heather’s portable crib,” she said loudly to be heard over the hammering rain.
“Give me your keys.” The wind ruffled his hair, flapped at the hem of his yellow slicker. “I’ll get it.”
“That’s very nice of—” She didn’t bother to finish as he curled his fingers around the keys dangling from her hand and thrust a pizza carton at her. For only a moment she peered through the sheet of slanting rain and watched him sprint to the van.
This stay was not going to be easy, she decided as she shut the door. He was fascinating and annoying. One moment he came across as thoughtful and considerate, the next he bordered on brusque, almost unpleasant. He’d always been mysterious to her. He’d been a brooding, quiet boy who’d smiled rarely and usually only at his sister. But he’d warmed Rachel all the way down to her toes with that smile.
Grinning over her own thought, she set the pizza on the counter. Unable to resist, she peeked at it with a deep inhalation. It smelled heavenly. She swiped a piece of sausage from one slice, reclosed the box, then made her way to the bedroom to check on Heather.
Fortunately she snoozed, undisturbed by the weather and her surroundings. Shadows danced on the walls. The wind whistled through the old house, wiggled doors, banged shutters. Rachel decided that only an ungrateful fool wouldn’t appreciate what Kane was doing.
While waiting for him, she moved the infant seat and oversize diaper bag to make a spot for the crib. A soft bang, a muttered oath made her look up. Rain plastered his hair. Glossy, dark strands flared out in unruly curls below his ears. Raindrops beaded his face. “I appreciate your help.” She noticed that he’d shrugged out of his rain gear somewhere on his way to her.
“You don’t have to keep thanking me.” He snapped open a side of the collapsed crib, then un-clipped the other side of the bed. “Hell, you’re the one who’s been put out.” He pressed on the rail of the crib as if testing its steadiness. “I’ll get you sheets for your bed.”
He was acting more pleasant. Rachel hoped this was a new phase, one that would last for a while. While he was gone, she dug a crib sheet for the crib out of a suitcase and made up a bed for Heather. Though sleeping, her mouth puckered, made sucking noises as Rachel shifted her from the big bed to the smaller one. “You’re getting hungry, aren’t you?” she cooed. Peripherally she caught movement and looked up to see Kane set snow-white sheets on the top of a badly scratched walnut dresser.
“Does she ever answer?”
Had that actually been humor? “No, but eventually she will.”
