Going All the Way

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Her willpower whimpered.

DAVID’S provocative words were still fresh in Serena’s mind when she woke up bright and early Saturday morning. Well, not “woke up,” exactly, since that implied she’d actually fallen asleep sometime during the steamy night. Steamy partly because of her own thoughts, and also because when she’d tried to turn on the air-conditioner for the first time this season, she’d discovered it didn’t work. Good thing she’d turned down David’s request to see her home—what heat that would have generated!

After he’d taken her to pick up her car, he’d asked if she was sure she didn’t want him to follow her home. His gesture, though sweet, was totally unnecessary. She might not live in the most upscale part of town, but it wasn’t dangerous. Not nearly as dangerous as risking his being near her apartment or her ever-weakening willpower.

Which begged the question—why had she agreed to his picking her up here this morning?

Light spilled through the arched window at the other end of the loft’s railing, and she blinked, wondering how he’d talked her into helping him apartment hunt.

He’d lulled her into a false sense of security, she told herself as she stood under the revitalizing spray of the shower. During dinner, his sexually charged comments had tapered off just enough so that when he’d announced that he’d naturally want her input as an Atlanta resident while he shopped for apartments, she’d agreed.

Did he really catch you so off guard, or were you just happy for the excuse to spend more time with him?

Ignoring the skeptical inner voice, Serena worked her blue cypress bar into a lather and ran it over her skin. The natural soap was supposed to be soothing to body and spirit, but after a sleepless night of rebellious fantasies and aching memories, she too easily imagined David’s hands running over her slick body instead of her own. His wet fingers slipping along the curve of her hip, the smooth slide of her thigh…With a tight groan, she flipped the faucet control to Cold and rinsed quickly before pulling back the shower curtain.

If he could resume their friendship with no signs of awkward unease, so could she. In fact, keeping their relationship platonic was her idea. She couldn’t risk the possibility of ruining their friendship, no matter how badly she’d wanted him last night and still did this morning.

Sure, opposites attracted. Notice how there was no equally famous saying about opposites settling down and living happily ever after. James and Tricia had demonstrated vividly what happened when two very different people moved beyond the attraction and into the bitter divorce stage. Although there had been painful times when Serena’s parents had used their daughter as a weapon to hurt each other, at least she could take comfort in knowing she’d learned from their mistakes. The mere possibility that her friendship with David could one day end with the same sort of spiteful contempt as her parents’ marriage made her stomach clench in dread.

But she knew he was interested in being more than buddies.

When she’d first e-mailed him to say their making love had been a one-time fluke, he hadn’t seemed thrilled with her decision. Given his history of persevering until he got what he wanted—whether it was a class schedule with every course he’d desired to the most sought-after girl on campus to his number-one job pick—Serena wouldn’t have been surprised last night if he’d pushed her to change her mind. Instead, he’d made comments, such as the remark about her finding a man who could take care of her sexual needs as well as her emotional ones, but then he’d moved to safer topics.

By the time he’d driven her back to her car, she was almost wishing he’d just address their single night together directly so she had reason to reiterate her never-gonna-happen-again stance. But he hadn’t broached it, and she wasn’t about to bring it up first. Not when it was taking everything in her to keep it from happening again.

She ran a towel over her hair in a cursory gesture that wouldn’t really do anything to keep it from drying in whatever wild curls it chose. Serena actually liked it that way. She couldn’t imagine the time and care Alyson took plaiting her long red hair in all those elaborately braided styles. Besides, when your hair was already messy, you never let the threat of disarray keep you from enjoying something like the breeze off a lake or an afternoon jaunt in a convertible with the top rolled down.

Dressed in a pair of pink capris, an oversized T-shirt covered in sketched portraits by a local artist and a pair of vintage sandals, Serena headed downstairs, her heart rate accelerating as she realized David would be here soon. She’d told him that management offices for most places wouldn’t open until nine, but he’d insisted on buying her breakfast first to thank her for giving up her Saturday.

Certainly helps save on groceries. The free meals came at a fortuitous time. With the recent lull in business, it was nice to have dinner out without worrying about funds, but it was a forcible reminder that she and David lived different realities. It wasn’t just the finances, though, or their upbringings; they moved in opposing cultural circles. He went to the opera, she went to local bars to hear her struggling guitarist friend. David had gone for his MBA with the determination to make even more of himself than his birthright gave him, and Serena had studied business to get a good idea of what the rules were before she broke them.

When he’d kissed her last summer, she’d been stunned. There’d always been the occasional flirtatious undercurrent to their conversations, but until that day and the surprising sparks that had combusted between them, she hadn’t truly thought he was attracted to her. Romantically, they didn’t make sense. As friends, he could tease her good-naturedly about the artistic way she’d decorated her various apartments because he didn’t have to live in any of them, and she could cluck her tongue over the hellacious hours he worked because she wasn’t one of the girlfriends he cancelled on to do so—she’d had enough of that on the weekends her father was supposed to take her, thank you very much.

Even without the excruciating ordeal of her parents’ divorce, Serena had enough sense to know she wasn’t David’s type. That Tiffany he’d started mentioning a few months ago sounded perfect for him. Yes, but she’s in Boston, and they broke up. You are here with David.

The knock at the door was a merciful interruption. She might be spending the day with David, but only because she was doing a favor for a friend. No different than spending a day with Alyson.

Except she didn’t fantasize about Aly.

She crossed the hardwood floor, away from the windows and toward the door that opened into what had once been a junior-high hallway. In the part of the building where they’d housed the management offices, there were still some of the original lockers.

“Morning.” David greeted her with a smile and a white paper sack that emanated delicious aromas. He looked even more delicious.

“You brought breakfast.”

“I told you I was going to,” he answered, shifting his weight from foot to foot, as though wondering why he was still standing in the hall.

“Yes, but I thought…” Crowds, onlookers, public ordinances against her ripping off his long-sleeved red T-shirt and Dockers. She really, really needed to talk to the super about fixing her air-conditioning. “I’m sorry, come in.”

He entered, but didn’t head for the green-and-rose kitchen that sat below her loft-style bedroom at the other end of the apartment. Instead, he paused, glancing at her with those unbelievable sky-blue eyes. “I hope you don’t mind my making a unilateral decision, but I saw that breakfast burrito vendor you liked so much was still in business and figured it would be a fun surprise.”

“You are just full of those,” she muttered.

His gaze held hers. “You aren’t exactly predictable yourself, Serena.”

Was he referring to the fact that they’d made love, or the fact that she was adamantly opposed to it happening again? Less adamantly every second that passed, she admitted to herself. Her body had remained in a ripe, sensitized half-aroused state ever since he’d set foot in her office yesterday, and now she wondered if she would have made things easier on herself if she’d tried to alleviate some of this building pressure when she’d been in the shower. Too late now.

Unless she asked him to help alleviate it.

She swallowed, then jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward the forest-green countertop of the breakfast bar that served as a room divider. “I—I have juice in the fridge. I might even have some coffee.”

He grimaced, but his gaze was still affectionate. Heatedly so. “No offense, but your coffee’s horrible. I grabbed some on the way over.”

Pivoting on the blocky high heel of one sandal, she told herself she’d scarf down her food and get them out of here.

David followed at a slower pace, taking in the surroundings. “You’ve changed some stuff.”

“Here and there. I wanted some new decorative touches, but the major furniture’s all the same.” Good thing she was skilled at creatively redecorating on a budget. And the orange-framed acrylic pieces she had on display not only livened up the high white walls, they allowed her to help her friend Craig without it seeming too much like charity.

“Glad to see you still have the couch,” David told her, his voice husky with remembrance.

She froze reaching for juice, caught between the heat of her own memories and the welcoming blast of cold air that came from the fridge. Even now, every moment she and David had spent together that night was as vivid as her favorite Matisse painting—they’d barely shut the front door behind them when David had pulled her into that first startling, sizzling kiss. Then, when they’d managed to shimmy out of the majority of their sodden clothes, they’d made it as far as the bright purple velour sofa.

She struggled for a light tone, not daring to look out in his direction. “Oh, come on. You always made fun of that couch.”

When he spoke again, his voice was so close, she jumped. “I’ve developed a new appreciation for it.”

Straightening fast enough to give herself a head rush, she clutched the gallon of orange juice to her and leveled a reproachful glance in his direction. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.” He grinned. “I didn’t exactly tiptoe in here, so you must’ve really been lost in thought.”

The tiny room that she’d decorated to be evocative of a garden was nowhere near big enough for her, David and her peace of mind.

“If you want to have a seat,” she suggested, “I can bring the juice out.”

He took a step—in the wrong direction—and shrugged. “I like being in here.”

Leaning past her, bringing his body so close it almost brushed hers, he stretched up to open the cabinet over her shoulder and pulled down two glasses. Serena held her breath, paralyzed in front of the refrigerator, mesmerized by how easy it would be to touch him. To live out the fantasy she’d been craving for the past nine months.

He set the glasses on the counter and lowered his voice. “I like being with you.”

His words warmed her more than they should have, and she closed her eyes for a second as she stole a guilty moment to savor the sentiment. When he’d last been here, she’d not only liked being with him, she hadn’t been able to get enough of him. She’d never been so insatiable with any lover, before or since. Would it still be that way between them?

Almost as if she’d asked the question aloud, he groaned in response. Serena felt him take the juice out of her hand and heard it land on the counter with a dull thud.

“Serena.” The warmth of his breath was soft on her face, and he ran his thumb along the curve of her lower lip, skin so sensitive the caress almost tickled. It was all she could do not to catch the pad of his thumb with her teeth. “Look at me, honey.”

Forgetting to breathe, she did as he asked, knowing he was about to kiss her. Wanting him to kiss her. She’d spent hours thinking about this very thing—not just during her hot sleepless night, but ever since he’d flown back to Boston last summer.

His gaze melted with hers, and he sucked in his own breath, his expression almost one of agony. Maybe he was afraid she’d push him away. As if that were even possible. Her entire body was starving for him.

She laced her fingers behind his neck and pulled him to her. His lips met hers eagerly, and the moment his tongue slid into her mouth, she felt dizzy with joy. This was what she’d longed for. This was what she’d remembered, what had kept her awake on nights she should’ve been missing Patrick but hadn’t.

A small voice trying to be heard over the rush of desire warned, this was what was going to break her heart.

4

DAVID’S FINGERS were tangled in the damp softness of Serena’s hair, and his thoughts were tangled in the overpowering desire that had snared him as soon as she’d opened the front door.

As sexually frustrated as he’d been when he got back to his hotel room last night, he’d known he’d handled dinner the right way, always retreating before his flirting went too far. Changing Serena’s mind about this platonic nonsense required finesse, which had clearly been shot to hell the moment he’d set foot in this apartment. There’d been no misinterpreting the way she’d looked at him with those hot brown eyes. He’d been overwhelmed by the need in her expression, the fresh, exotic scent of her, the memories of the last time he’d been here.

Winning her over slowly was overrated. New plan: kissing her passionately.

Her hands skimmed up and down his back, bunching the material of his shirt and raking over his tensed muscles. He slid his own hands along the curve of her spine past her waist, kneading her round hips with his fingers as he pulled her against him. Her tongue met his, and hunger reverberated through him with the force of a tsunami.

There was no way to deepen the already carnal kiss, but he could bring them closer together, eliminate the barriers between them. Gripping the hem, he shoved her pale purple shirt upward. He brushed over the delicate gold navel ring that had shimmered in his memories, and his erection swelled to almost painful proportions. Unlike in his memories, she was wearing a bra today, but the frothy scrap of lace could hardly be described as an obstacle. He ran his palm over her, and she moaned her approval, arching into his hand. He wanted to fill his hands with her, wanted to fill her, period.

He lifted her shirt, and she raised her arms so he could remove it. But with their kiss broken, she blinked up at him like someone waking from a trance. When he settled his arms back around her, she sighed his name.

“David.” It wasn’t so much rapturous desire as wistful regret.

Hell.

He stared into her eyes. “You don’t want me to kiss you?”

She bit her lip, her face flushed the same rosy pink as the bra he’d love to slide off of her. Though she didn’t answer, the tightness of her hold on him was encouraging.

“To touch you?” He traced his index finger in a slow circle around one silk-covered nipple. Maybe he wasn’t playing fair, but he was playing to win. They were fantastic together—he just had to persuade her of that.

“I, um…” She swallowed convulsively. “Damn, it’s hot in here.”

It wasn’t the room. It was all her. He reached behind her and cupped his hand under the ice-maker, then lifted a crescent-shaped cube to the back of her neck. Catching a handful of honey-blond curls and twisting them up off her nape, he drew the ice down over her skin. “Better?”

Not even the frigid droplets of water dripping between his fingers could quell the heat spreading in his body. Only Serena could put out that fire. He trailed a wet, shivery path across the top of her shoulder and down over her collarbone. She trembled, her eyes closing as her head tilted back. Tracing the rapidly melting piece of ice back and forth over the slopes of her small, perfect breasts, he fumbled one-handed with the clasp at her back. He’d seen her in his imagination a hundred times since August, but that only intensified his need for the reality.

The bra fluttered to the floor, but he didn’t touch her immediately. He made them both wait, drawing a cold, slippery, straight line down her flat abdomen. Then, he changed direction, traveling up the column of her throat, dipping the ice across her parted lips. He pitched what was left of the cube into the sink behind them and bent to kiss away the cold.

She whimpered into his mouth, meshing her hands in his hair, and sucked on his tongue, greedy for him in a way that decimated his self-control. All he wanted in the world was to bury himself inside her. He settled temporarily for stroking his thumbs over her hard nipples in quick, insistent caresses as he kissed her neck.

Shifting her weight for balance, she bent her right leg up around his hip. Serena’s flexibility was enough to make a grown man weep with joy. Cupping her backside, he pressed her closer as they kissed. He couldn’t stop himself from moving against her, and she ground her own hips to meet his. As he reached for the zipper on her pants, he realized she was tugging at his clothes, too. He didn’t have the remaining strength and coordination to support them both and explore her with the thoroughness he desired. Shrugging out of his shirt, he pulled her down to the smooth, cool surface of the linoleum floor with him.

Her capris remained on, but were loose around her waist as she lay on her side. With one arm around her, he nudged her to her back, finally in a position to lavish her breasts with hungry attention. He sucked on one engorged tip, then switched sides as he slid a hand down inside the silky confines of her panties. And then into the hot silky confines of her.

She was so wet. He brushed his fingers against her damp, swollen flesh, easily moving in and out of her, and the intimate knowledge of just how aroused she was spurred him to a more frantic pace. Before he fully comprehended what was happening, her soft, breathy murmurs became a wordless cry and she stiffened against his hand, her body bucking with small, silent ripples.

He’d had no idea she was so close. The intensity of her reaction was a marvel—making him feel powerful and humble and protective. He hugged her to him, partly to give her a moment to catch her breath, partly to express some of the wordless emotion that had swelled inside him.

She buried her face into his bare chest. “That…I don’t normally—It’s been a while.”

Hypocritically pleased as he was by the fact she hadn’t done this any time recently, his male pride was still a little pricked by her reasoning. Her exploding in his arms was not due to a dry spell, dammit, it was the chemistry between them. The perfect way to prove that would be to bring her to a second orgasm now, when she could no longer claim a sex-starved body.

But she didn’t give him that chance. She was already scooting away, her gaze darting around the kitchen, most likely seeking her discarded shirt. Damn, damn, damn.

“Serena.” Short of imploring her to change her mind, he wasn’t sure what to say. Not to mention his body was aroused to such a frustrating degree he was having a hard time speaking. Pun intended.

But along with the receding passion in her dazed expression, he saw confusion and vulnerability. The last thing he’d wanted was to upset her—he’d only been trying to convince her there was something between them. Something potent.

The tiny frown lines puckering her forehead sliced across his heart. She looked lost. He clenched his fists at his sides to keep himself from reaching for her again.

“I’m sorry.” Her words were almost a sob as she clutched her shirt to her front. “That was incredibly selfish of me. I shouldn’t have allowed things to get so carried away when I never intended to let them…I didn’t mean to do that to you.”

“It’s not that you owe me anything, Serena. I enjoyed that as much as you did.” He gritted his teeth against the discomfort of uneased need. “All right, maybe not as much, but I touched you because I wanted to. And because it was what you wanted.” For reasons he still didn’t get, she was reluctant to admit it.

She zipped her pants as she rose, then shrugged into her shirt. He wondered if it was pathetically simple-minded of him that for the rest of the day he’d be thinking about the fact she had no bra on underneath.