Love At A Distance

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The following days, all the talk in the country was about the terrible pandemic. The number of the infected increased, as did deaths. She was isolated indoors as the health agencies recommended, but she felt more and more alone. Contrary to what she imagined; she had signed more advertisement contracts. She had decided to fire Renata for what she had done, but Sandro convinced her to reconsider. She was a person of trust and, at that moment, she was trying to protect her. Even if it was by wrong means.

And that fear she felt that people said was unfounded, seemed to have taken everyone judging by what she saw on TV and on the internet. On social media, the hashtag #stayhome went viral. Everyone asked for those who didn't need to go out to avoid crowds.

Obviously, Babi wouldn't come out for anything. The fridge was full and, for now, she didn't need anything. Alone in the flat, she spent her days watching TV programs about the coronavirus. She couldn't stop consuming everything that was said about it. The only posts she made on her social media were those related to work. Renata had made her a schedule of videos to record and she reserved an entire afternoon just to do that. She left everything ready and the posts programmed so she wouldn’t have to do it every day.

Until she began to feel back pains and an intense headache. Then, the shortness of breath began. The difficulty to breath became such that she had to call Dr. Luiz and ask for help.

They had a video conference appointment and he recommended that she tested to know if she was infected. She didn't tell anyone. She knew if she talked about it with someone on the team, the information would be leaked to the press and she wasn't ready to see the news that she was sick on the papers. She scheduled a home visit with the lab recommended by the doctor and got examined.

Those were the two worst days of her life. When she received the result and saw it was negative, that she was not sick, it was as if someone had lifted a gigantic weight off her back. But the symptoms were still there. Increasingly intense.

Anxiety crisis, the doctor diagnosed. Again.

She couldn't handle everything. The disease. People suffering. Deaths. The loss of freedom. Loneliness. She knew how privileged she was in many ways, but that pain she felt in her soul was too much to bear.

That night, she talked to her mother and brother before going to bed. They were well and healthy. Her mother was temporarily living with her eldest son in Belo Horizonte so she wouldn't be alone. After hanging up, Babi let out the tears she'd been holding back since it all started. She was trying to be strong, keep up a schedule and deal with isolation, but all at the expense of her broken heart. She couldn't understand how that could be happening. It was 2020, after all. Something like that was unimaginable.

Sitting in the living room, she looked around at the well-decorated room. It was as if everything was as it always was. As if her world – and probably that of millions of people – hadn't changed. As if it continued exactly as it should be.

But everything had changed.

Looking around the room again, she felt as if the walls were closing in little by little. It was then that the memory of one of the recurring dreams of her almost sleepless nights came to her mind. Closing her eyes, she remembered clearly, the small house in the outskirts of the city where she was born, in the countryside of Minas Gerais. Where she, her mother and older brother used to spend New Year evenings.

An idea started to take form. Should I…?

With her eyes closed, she could almost smell the flowers in the house's backyard, which were cared by Mr. Antonio, the caretaker who would go there once a week. She loved that place. Every time she went there, it was like recharging her batteries and renewing himself.

– That's it – she told herself. She got off the couch and went straight to the closet to pack her bags. She was alone in that flat, at least she'd be alone in her favorite place in the world. She needed some time for herself, away from everything. From that world she was living in.

She picked her cell phone and pressed the speed dial. When her call was picked up, she went straight to the point.

– Suspend all activities. Except for what is already scheduled to be posted on social media, I don't want to make any more posts for now.

–But Babi… – Renata protested, but the girl did not let her finish.

– Tell the accountant to keep paying the team normally and let him know that we're going to keep everyone's job, but we're taking a break.

She had invested much of what she earned and was able to keep the team employed.

Thank God for the little miracles. She didn't even want to think about the possibility of having to fire someone in the middle of a pandemic.

– But this is a great time for you to make money. There are sponsors interested in promoting live streams with you.

– That's enough, Renata. I don't care about live streams. I'm tired of hearing about live streams. I'm not a singer, actress or someone like that who has entertainment to offer. This is a serious moment. We're living a pandemic. People need to feed their souls with good things, not frivolities. And so, do I. I'm going to Minas. I need some time.

She could almost see Renata placing her middle finger in her forehead, searching for self-control and arguments to dissuade her from the idea. But she was determined to retake control of her life.

– Very well – the manager said grudgingly. – I'll pull the brakes here. Maybe it will be good for you to be away for a while. Back in that end of world where you like to go, things must be a little calmer with regard to the pandemic.

For the first time in many days, Babi opened a true smile. She was still afraid of the disease, anguished, with feelings of uncertainty, and lonely. But she was going home. Finally, something seemed to be getting into place.

Chapter Two

After spending hours on the road, Babi finally took the country road that would take her home. She was tired and hungry but didn't want to stop on the way. She didn't think it was safe. During the three-and-a-half hour’s trip, she listened to her favorite songs, arranged in a playlist created especially for when she went home and ate almost an entire package of Oreos she had brought on impulse.

Slowing down, she glanced at the almost empty package on the passenger seat, feeling guilty. She didn't have the habit of eating unhealthy food, her diet was well balanced, but in the last weeks she'd been abusing sweets. Mostly the Oreo packages she had hidden in her storeroom and that were her weak point.

Besides the cookie package, she had brought, also on impulse – despite having promised herself she wouldn't post anything while she was away —, the tripod and the LED ring she used to record videos. They were tools that were part of her daily life and she was afraid of not bringing them and ending up needing them for whatever reason.

Finally, she saw the wall of the condominium and smiled. That was her home. The place that had left her heart and kept the best memories of her life. Just being a few feet from her real home, she could already feel her heart beating a little less fast.

She looked at the clock on the car's dashboard. Almost ten P.M. She preferred to drive at night, because the roads were clearer, and now, during the pandemic, they were painfully silent. She passed the condominium's security cabin and after the guard checked her car, she drove to the street where her house was.

She parked in front of it, turned off the engine and looked up to the sky. Everything here was different from the place where she lived in Rio. The sky was bluer and without the pollution, it was possible to see thousands of stars sparkling. Breathing in, still inside the car, she was able to feel the scent of nature, provided by the infinity of trees around. She picked a surgical mask from the small box that was on the seat and placed it carefully on her face. On TV, they always said it wasn't necessary to use it. The doormen even laughed when they saw her using the mask on her way to the garage, but she didn't care. Fear was bigger than embarrassment. And if they thought she was overdoing it, so be it. That wouldn't be the first or the last time.

She took a deep breath and let out the air slowly. Easy, it's all good. You're safe here. From paranoia. From fear. from loneliness. From the virus… am I?

– Social isolation is the best form of prevention – she spoke aloud while disconnecting her phone from the charger, as if she wanted to convince herself.

She picked the black leather bag and put it on her lap. She searched it until she found her Charlie Brown Funko keychain. It was old, the paint was already fading, worn out by the time of use, but it kept thousands of memories of a life that was left behind. One that wouldn't return.

Don't go that way, she warned herself. Shaking her head, she pushed away the thoughts and memories that threatened to return. This wasn't the time to open that Pandora's box.

She opened the door, hung her purse on her shoulder and got out of the car. Facing the garden, she looked at the house. It was modest for her current living standards. She lived in a large flat, decorated by a professional so that every room was carefully planned to look good in videos. But not here. The house was white, colonial style and had a small balcony in the front. The tilted roof gave it a special charm and the welcoming atmosphere she loved so much. It had been decorated by the family and each furniture, each object, had an emotional connection with them. As expected, it was dark and… wait. Why was one of the rooms lit?

She frowned and approached. She saw a man's outline, hidden by the curtains, pass in front of her brother's bedroom window. She knew it wasn't Leandro. He was in Belo Horizonte with their mother. She was so surprised by the unexpected presence that she didn't even think of the danger. She decided to go around the house. She'd go in from the back and confront the intruder. Deep down she knew that she should've gone back to the condo's entrance and talked to a security guard or called the police, but impulsiveness got the best of her. She was just like that. Impulsive. As always, her blood boiled, and she decided to kick out whoever was there. She went stealthily around the side of the house to the backyard, being careful to avoid rustling the plants. She crossed the yard and finally reached the porch in the back. She placed the key in the lock carefully and opened it slowly. She pushed the dark wooden door and went in, stepping firmly. The light was off. She blinked a couple times so her eyes would get used to the darkness. After barely passing through the door, she was thrown to the ground, knocked down by the impact of a strong, muscular, heavy and warm body.