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‘You were worried about me? I don’t think so,’ she scoffed, the anger that had accompanied her home from the club re-igniting with a vengeance. ‘You certainly weren’t worried about me when you hatched your little scheme with Liam. How could you be part of such a shabby trick, Jake? I know you trained together, and you were going to be Liam’s best man, but I thought at least you were my friend.’
‘I am your friend,’ he insisted heatedly, and for just a moment she was almost convinced by the expression of hurt she glimpsed in his eyes. Then he glanced over his shoulder towards the sudden sound of voices down by the front door and the illusion was gone. ‘Please, Maggie, could I come in? Some of the gang has obviously come back from the club and…Look, I need to explain and I can’t do it out here.’
‘There isn’t anything to explain,’ she said firmly, and began to swing the door shut. If he didn’t leave soon she was going to embarrass herself by bursting into tears, no matter how determined she was not to give in. Her only hope was to hold onto the anger until he went. ‘Are you forgetting that I overheard your conversation with Liam? It was perfectly obvious that you knew all about his grubby little plan—’
‘Maggie, please…don’t!’ he interrupted, quickly bracing one hand on the door to prevent her closing it in his face. ‘Please! You’ve got to believe me. I honestly didn’t know that Liam hadn’t—’ He broke off as the chattering voices came closer; clearly people were on their way up the stairs.
He took a step closer, his hazel eyes darkening with entreaty under the rakish length of the dark hair that always seemed to be just a few days beyond the haircut he never remembered to write in his diary.
‘Please, Maggie? Just two minutes?’
There was something in his eyes, a quiet plea that she didn’t think she would ever be able to resist. How could she when she’d lost her heart to him the first time they’d met? Unfortunately, that had been before she’d learned that he was the one man she could never have.
Silently, she stepped back and pulled the door wider, her turbulent emotions making her undecided whether she was making another stupid mistake.
Almost as if he was afraid she would change her mind, he swung the door swiftly closed behind him and leant back against it.
It wasn’t until she saw his gaze slide over her that she remembered that she was wearing nothing more than her ratty old towelling robe—the one she’d been going to throw away in the morning at the start of her new life.
He, on the other hand, still looked as though he could model for the next issue of GQ in his neatly pressed black chinos, black leather jacket and a deep blue shirt that almost matched his eyes. At least his dark hair was as unruly as ever, but whether that was just from the chilly breeze that had sprung up earlier in the evening or from his perennial habit of running his fingers through it, she didn’t know.
For a moment there was silence between them, the only sound the chatter of the other residents passing on their way along the corridor.
Maggie wasn’t sure if it was a sign of paranoia but she was almost certain she heard their tone change as they went past her door. Were they talking about her…about the scene she’d made? The whole hospital was probably going to be talking about it by tomorrow, the tale growing with every telling.
Well, there was nothing she could do about it now.
‘So,’ she said briskly. ‘The clock’s ticking on your two minutes. What did you want to tell me?’
Unable to stand still while she waited for a reply, she threaded her way between the neat stacks of cardboard boxes containing all her worldly goods across to the mini-kitchen in the corner of the room to fill the kettle.
Behind her there was a sharp rustling, tearing sound and a muttered curse.
‘Damn. I’m sorry, Maggie. I tripped over this bag and—Oh, damn!’ he ended on a stricken note.
She turned to find him holding the plastic bag into which she’d just struggled to stuff her once-in-a-lifetime wedding dress—the wedding dress that was now spilling out of a gaping hole in the side like the silky entrails of some alien life form.
She closed her eyes against the sight and turned back to her task, trying for a note of unconcern as she spoke over her shoulder. ‘Throw it in the corner by the door, will you? There are several other bags of rubbish to go out to the bins before I leave in the morning.’
‘Oh, Maggie, you shouldn’t have done this to your wedding dress…’ Jake began, but she barely registered more than the dismay in his voice as a sudden thought struck her.
‘My God, Jake, I’m supposed to be moving out tomorrow!’ she exclaimed in horror as she whirled to face him. ‘I’m going to have nowhere to live!’
‘If you phone the letting agents first thing in the morning, would they let you stay on? Could you renew your contract?’
‘Impossible,’ she said glumly. ‘You know one-bedroom flats are at a premium this close to the hospital, especially affordable ones. They had a list as long as your arm of people waiting to snap it up and the contracts have all been signed.’
‘Too true. You’d probably be murdered by the next tenant if you refused to move out.’
‘Oh, thanks! That really makes me feel better,’ she grumbled as she finished dumping half a spoonful of sugar in his black coffee and a splash of milk in her own.
She turned to find that, in the absence of anywhere else to sit, he’d perched on the arm of her only comfortable chair.
She groaned and handed him the steaming mug before sinking to the floor to lean back against a pile of cartons. ‘Everything’s such a mess, Jake. Not just about the flat but my whole life.’
She heard him sigh heavily but didn’t dare look up at him. It was taking all her concentration to control the urge to weep all over his shoulder, something she’d never done in all the time she’d known him—even after a particularly traumatic day.
Unfortunately, even that possibility was gone now. She’d lost her heart to him so quickly, so deeply, that it had taken her a long time to force herself to think of him as nothing more than her department head who also happened to be her friend. After today’s revelations, she wasn’t sure whether he was friend or foe, but his was still the only ear she wanted when she needed to offload her troubles.
But first he had some questions to answer.
‘So, Jake, tell me…did you have any intention of warning me that Liam was lying and cheating his way into marriage?’ she demanded. ‘I bet the two of you were having a good laugh at the stupid, gullible twit who actually believed someone would want to marry her and have a family with her.’
‘No, Maggie!’ he exclaimed sharply, clearly startled by the idea. ‘God, no! It wasn’t like that.’
‘So what was it like?’ She knew her chin was tilted up at what he’d christened her don’t-mess-with-me angle, but that was what she felt like at this moment. Well, it was either that or sob her heart out, and she did still have some pride. ‘Don’t forget, Jake, I was privy to a very revealing conversation behind that scaled-down version of Kew Gardens. I know that he’d told you about his vasectomy and that you chose not to tell me. Why? Is it all part of the male solidarity thing?’
‘Well, yes, I knew about the vasectomy,’ he admitted roughly. The way he was staring at his white-knuckled grip on the handle of the mug showed that he was clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, but she hardened her heart.
Then his eyes swung up to meet hers and the searing honesty in his hazel gaze was unmistakable. ‘But, Maggie, I promise that I only found out about it a few days ago, totally by accident. Tonight, when I realised that he hadn’t told you…You did hear that part, didn’t you?’ he demanded, only continuing when she nodded, relieved to find that he was still the forthright man she knew.
‘I was so angry with him,’ he growled fiercely. ‘I’ve known right from when you first came to work in A and E that your dream was to have a big family, and I was asking Liam how he’d persuaded you to give up all your plans. I was so surprised that you’d changed your mind—that you’d decided you would be happy to look after just his two.’
Now that she thought about it, the conversation she’d overheard had sounded something like that.
Maggie sighed as some of the knots inside her loosened a fraction. It was bad enough to find out that the man she was going to marry had deceived her from the beginning. The thought that someone she’d counted as a friend had been part of the deception had been too much heartbreak for one day.
‘And anyway,’ he continued gruffly, ‘the last thing I’d call you was stupid and gullible. You’re the most warm-hearted, generous person I know.’
‘With the most abysmal instincts about men,’ she added wryly, even as she basked in the unexpected testimonial. ‘How could I have been so wrong about Liam?’
‘Perhaps because he was careful to tell you only what you wanted to hear?’ Jake suggested quietly. ‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it or you’ll make me feel even more guilty—after all, I knew how much you were looking forward to starting a family and I was the one who introduced you. You must know I’d never have done it if I’d known he’d had the op.’
It didn’t take more than a glance at him to know that he meant that. And she did know that he wouldn’t have done such a thing. He was far too honest to play stupid games like that.
‘I suppose that next you’ll be telling me that I should be grateful to you for showing me his true colours before we tied the knot,’ she retorted, more relieved than she could say that she hadn’t lost her friend after all.
She allowed herself to relax a little, unaccountably pleased that the two of them hadn’t lost the rapport they’d developed over the last two years. She had several female friends with whom she enjoyed sharing girl talk, but Jake was different. With him she felt so at ease that she didn’t have to think twice before she spoke her mind, knowing he would understand what she meant. Some of their colleagues in the department were all too ready to take offence at the slightest thing or, worse, to spread gossip…
‘Oh, Lord!’ she groaned, dropping her head down to her knees as a less than happy thought crossed her mind. ‘I’m going to have to get another job.’
‘What? Why on earth would you want to do that?’ he demanded. ‘You and Liam don’t even work in the same department. He only comes down if we need him to consult over a patient.’
‘That may be so, but you know as well as I do that A and E is staffed by some of the biggest gossips in the hospital, and most of the ones off duty were invited to the club for a drink tonight. You wait. By the morning, the hospital will be absolutely buzzing with the most amazing rumours about why the wedding’s been called off.’
It was Jake’s turn to groan. ‘There’ll be everything from abduction by aliens to…God knows what! Hey, perhaps I could get people to bet on it. Perhaps we could make a bit of money out of this!’
He let out a startled ‘Ouch!’ when she aimed a blow at his patella with the side of her hand and nearly toppled him from his precarious perch on the arm of the chair.
‘Don’t you dare stir everything up!’ she warned. ‘The less anyone says, the sooner it’ll all be forgotten.’
Forgotten by everyone but her, she added silently, then remembered the two innocent little faces who were the other victims in this fiasco.
‘Oh, Jake!’ she exclaimed. ‘What about Ellie and Jamie? They were so excited about being my attendants—having their day in the limelight all dressed up to the nines. They’re going to be heartbroken when they wake up in the morning and Liam tells them it’s all off.’
‘It can’t be helped…unless you’re willing to go through with the wedding just to stop them being disappointed?’
‘Of course not, you idiot,’ she retorted instantly. When he put it like that, it was obvious. ‘I wouldn’t marry Liam if he was the last man on earth.’
Jake didn’t comment, and the longer he was quiet the heavier the silence seemed to grow.
‘What?’ she demanded with a frown, needing to know what had put that disapproving expression on his face.
‘Well, I’m just a bit…surprised how quickly you can change your mind about someone,’ he said seriously. ‘Just a few hours ago he was the love of your life and your husband-to-be, and now he’s the last man on earth you’d marry.’
His delivery was quiet-voiced enough to sound offhand but landed with the weight of condemnation. Not that she needed him to pile on the guilt. Perhaps this was the time for her to purge her conscience.
‘He was never the love of my life,’ she admitted uncomfortably, deliberately avoiding looking at him in case he was as good at reading her mind as he seemed to be with his patients.
‘What?’ Now he sounded genuinely shocked. ‘Then why the blazes were you going to marry him?’
‘Because he asked me!’ she retorted flippantly, anxious to avoid delving into deeper waters. Jake’s friendship was all she could ever have of him and she wasn’t going to risk losing that by admitting that he was the man she loved. It was far safer to steer the conversation to other waters. ‘And also because I’ll be thirty on my next birthday and I didn’t want to wait too much longer before I had the first of those babies I’ve been wanting all my life.’
‘So your biological clock’s ticking, and you won’t be content just to bring up someone else’s babies,’ he charged grimly. ‘What would you have done if you’d married someone without children and then found out that he couldn’t father any of his own? I suppose you’d have divorced him and gone looking for someone else.’
A tiny alarm sounded in her head at the unexpected vehemence in his tone but, as Liam’s long-time friend, she supposed he was bound to see things from the man’s point of view.
‘Not at all!’ she exclaimed, stung by the implications that she would be so fickle. ‘I’m not just looking for a sperm donor. I want a real marriage to a man I can respect and trust. I thought I’d found that, but even as his friend you have to admit that underneath that charming exterior Liam falls a long way short on every count.’
Unable to sit still any longer, she scrambled to her feet, but there was no room to pace off her returning anger.
‘I’m making another cup of coffee. This one’s gone cold,’ she muttered, needing to do something to ward off the heated prickle of tears that had suddenly tried to overwhelm her.
Was that really what Jake thought of her? Did he honestly see her as someone willing to marry just for what she wanted to get out of the relationship? Didn’t he know that she’d already cared deeply for little Ellie and Jamie and would have loved them just as much as any babies she carried?
She blinked furiously, forbidding a single tear to fall, while she switched the kettle on. She had far too much to think about to waste time on crying.
For example, there was the matter of cancelling the fortnight’s honeymoon she’d paid for—Liam still hadn’t paid her for his share and she had no idea whether she would be able to make a claim on her holiday insurance to recover the money. Then there was the problem of finding herself somewhere to live now that she wouldn’t be moving in with Liam. What were the chances that she’d have somewhere by this time tomorrow? With all the money she’d spent on her dress and the honeymoon she couldn’t afford to splash out on a hotel, so she could very well end up out on the street…
She’d been so involved with her thoughts that she hadn’t heard Jake moving around. The first time she realised that he was standing right behind her was when she swung round with two steaming mugs in her hand and splattered the scalding liquid over both of them.
Jake swore rawly even as he reached out to pull the sodden towelling robe away from her skin. ‘Dammit, Maggie, I’m sorry. I thought you knew I was there.’
‘It’s all over your shirt!’ she exclaimed, ignoring the searing heat against her own flesh in her efforts to undo his shirt buttons with shaking fingers. ‘You need to get cold water on it to take the heat out.’
Suddenly, without any warning, he scooped her up in his arms to hurry towards her tiny bathroom.
‘Forget about me,’ he growled as he dumped her unceremoniously in the shower cubicle and reached for the taps. ‘My skin’s far tougher than yours.’
She gasped as the water hit her like an icy wall, then gasped again when he finally managed to wrench the heavily sodden fabric off her shoulders.
Distracted by her efforts to try to wrest the first of his shirt buttons through their holes, she shrugged the restricting dressing-gown off her shoulders and it fell to the floor of the cubicle with a resounding slap.
With the impact of the icy water on her totally naked body Maggie froze, her eyes wide with the shocked realisation that she was standing in front of Jake without a stitch to cover her blushes.
‘Oh, Maggie,’ she heard him whisper, and when she saw the heat of desire turn his hazel eyes to molten gold as they roamed her naked body from head to toe, suddenly she wasn’t cold any more.
She reached out trembling hands towards his shirt again, half expecting him to stop her, then whimpered in frustration when she found she couldn’t force the little discs through their respective holes anyway.
‘I can’t do this!’ she complained. ‘And I want to see you, too.’
His eyes met hers, the heat in them fierce enough to turn cold water into steam, and her arousal was so intense it was almost pain.
It had never felt like this before, even though she’d desired Jake from the first moment she’d met him.
‘Maggie, you don’t want to do this,’ he was warning her, even as he was stripping his shirt over his head. ‘It’s just the result of the shock of being scalded coming on top of the scene in the club.’
Her only response was to reach for his head with both hands, sliding her fingers through his hair to pull him closer.
‘If you don’t want to make love with me, then say so,’ she said, her steady words totally at odds with her trembling body. She was very afraid that he would be able to see her vulnerability in her eyes but she couldn’t look away.
‘It’s not that I don’t want to…’ he denied quickly, but she wasn’t reassured—not when he wouldn’t meet her eyes properly. Had she read him so wrong? Was it just because she’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted this, that she was presuming that he felt the same way?
‘Jake!’ She heard the pleading in her voice but after two long years of wanting him it didn’t really matter. ‘I need you,’ she whispered, the words almost lost in the sound of the freezing torrent as her teeth started to chatter and she reached for the fastening of his waistband.
Whatever reservations he may have had disappeared completely then. In moments, he was stepping back into the cubicle and her heart soared as he reached for her.
‘Kiss me!’ he growled as he wrapped his arms around her in the confined space, but she was already tilting her face up towards him.
It was everything she’d dreamed of and more—hot, sweet, fierce and every bit as ravenous as she could have wished.
‘Please!’ she whimpered, tightening her grasp so that her slick flesh slid against his in a graphic illustration of her need for more.
‘Hold tight,’ he ordered, and he bent to lift her, his hands cupping her bottom.
Without any prompting she wrapped her legs around his waist and when she felt him press against her intimate heat she trembled in anticipation of what was to come.
‘Oh, Maggie!’ he groaned, and she was certain that she felt him quivering with the same onslaught of pleasure. Then he turned to brace her against the tiled wall of the cubicle, leaning back just far enough to gaze his fill at the way they fitted in each other’s arms.
He was so broad and strong against her slighter frame, his muscles and sinews standing out in stark relief as he supported her, every swell and hollow slick with rivulets of water that eventually disappeared between their bodies.
‘Give me your breast,’ he demanded hoarsely.
She hesitated momentarily, stunned to feel everything inside her clenching in response to his raw command. Lack of experience made her waver, but a glimpse of uncertainty in his gaze was enough to restore her courage and she cupped one hand around herself and offered her breast up to him.
He nuzzled his face against her and the smoothness of his jaw told her that he must have shaved recently. He was so warm against the chill of her skin that she was briefly reminded about the necessity of taking the heat out of their recent scalds, then he opened his mouth to take her inside and nothing else mattered.
She’d never dreamed that she would be so in tune with him, every move so well choreographed as if they’d already been lovers in fact rather than in her imagination. Finally, when she could bear his teasing torment no longer, she took control, tightening her legs around him as she impaled herself to the hilt and shattered around him with a high keening cry.
