Why Not Tonight

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“You know, to a therapist. Someone who could give you perspective and help you brainstorm ways to handle this. You’re too brilliant not to be working. I’m guessing you don’t really need the money, but that’s not what’s important. Creating is who you are. Without that, I’m not sure you can be happy. I know I couldn’t be and I’m nowhere near as talented. You need to learn to open your heart, Ronan. Or you’re going to be trapped in your emotional ice kingdom forever.”

He groaned. “That’s another Frozen reference, isn’t it?”

She smiled. “Admit it. You find me totally charming.”

Figuring she’d pushed her luck about as far as she could, she lightly kissed his cheek, then rose and reached for her mug.

“Night, Ronan.”

He watched her go without speaking. When she reached the doorway, she turned back and he was still looking at her. For a second she hoped he would come after her, take her in his arms and give her a hearty kissing. Or maybe more. Instead he didn’t say anything and she was left with the uncomfortable sensation of wanting someone who probably didn’t see her that way at all.

CHAPTER FIVE (#u3290114c-e99a-54cd-af32-33ad43b6c724)

DESPITE HIS CONVERSATION with Natalie, Ronan slept well. Maybe it was getting things off his chest. He never talked about his situation anymore. He used to discuss it with Mathias, but lately they only spoke about work.

He woke up early and, after making coffee, went into his studio, where he studied what he’d done on his commission. He couldn’t work on it without help. Glass was a demanding mistress and creating the hundreds of pieces that would make up the final work required many hands.

He had interns and a few assistants scheduled, but with the weather, they couldn’t get up the mountain and he couldn’t get to town. A few days ago, he would have welcomed the excuse. Now he felt stirrings of energy about the project.

He walked around his studio, remembering how excited he’d been when the space was first completed. He’d had so many plans for what he and Mathias could do here. Because it had always been the two of them. Elaine had often talked about how they’d shared a crib until they were toddlers. At the time, he and his brother had assumed that story was about their unbreakable bond. After Ceallach had told them the truth, they’d realized they’d shared a crib because Elaine hadn’t been prepared for a second infant and she’d had to make do.

Still, knowing the truth hadn’t shaken the memories of all the times he and his brother had worked together as a single unit, and damn it all to hell, he missed that. He didn’t want to, but he did. He missed having Mathias around. He missed knowing what he was thinking without having to ask. He missed their connection.

That bond had been severed with a few words. Ronan hadn’t seen that at first. He’d been stunned by their father’s revelation. He and his brother had left the hospital and walked around town for over an hour until they could finally speak. Only there hadn’t been anything to say.

After a few weeks, Ronan had decided he had to leave Fool’s Gold. He’d found Happily Inc and had made plans to relocate. When Mathias had found out, he’d said he was coming with him. And he had.

Ronan had thought being here, together, would make everything right. Only it hadn’t. They were slipping farther and farther away from what they had once been. Sure, some of that was them growing up. Mathias was married now. But they weren’t close anymore and Ronan knew he missed that.

The problem was he also didn’t know how to get it back.

He put down his coffee and studied the disastrous faux origami piece he’d made the day before. He saw now what had gone wrong and decided to try again. He wanted to make it right so he could give it to Natalie. He had no idea why. She was—

He put on a thick apron and goggles and reached for a rod. It was one thing to lie to other people, but he should at least tell himself the truth. He wanted to impress her. Just like some sixteen-year-old dreaming of scoring the winning touchdown, he wanted to get the attention of the girl.

He smiled at the realization. It had been a long time since he’d been interested in a woman. He wouldn’t have guessed she would be the one to light that spark, but she had and now the flame burned hot and bright.

Not that he would do anything about it. She was his guest and his responsibility. While she was trapped in his house, she needed to feel completely safe around him and not have to worry about him making a move. Still, a man could dream.

As he collected the material to begin his glass piece, he thought about what they’d talked about last night. How his father had once again produced drama. Yes, the situation was complicated and there was no good way to tell your son he wasn’t who he thought, but as always, Ceallach had picked the worst possible way.

Ronan pushed thoughts of his family and his growing need for Natalie from his mind and began to work. He’d come up with some ideas for making his piece look more like what she’d made—with the lines and angles.

Hours later, he had a series of small dragons. They were bigger than hers. The first three were crap but the last one was close. Damned close.

He held up the small glass dragon. Light flowed through the various thicknesses, creating the illusions of different shades of green. He hadn’t done a good job with the scales, but he would do better next time.

He walked back in the house. As he passed through the long glass-lined hallway, he was surprised to see the shift in the light, now that the storm had passed. There was blue sky and, according to the thermometer hanging just outside the window, temperatures were climbing back to the normal summer sizzle. He’d been in the studio much longer than he’d thought.

He walked into the kitchen and found Natalie sitting in her usual seat at the island. She had piled her long, curly hair on top of her head and wore a different sweatshirt over the sweatpants. The second she saw him, she smiled.

“You’ve been working,” she said happily.

He held the small dragon down by his thigh so she couldn’t see it. “How do you know?”

“You look content and a little smug. It’s your work face.”

“I have a work face?”

“Who doesn’t? Mine is a little more bemused, but then, I’m not the great Ronan Mitchell.”

“I’m not him, either.”

“One of us has to be and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t convince anyone.” She pointed to the window. “It’s sunny. I spoke to the county road crew supervisor, who is a very nice man, by the way. He said the main roads will be cleared by the end of the day and that he’ll make sure your road is passable first thing tomorrow. You’ll be able to take me to town by midmorning and be rid of me.”

He didn’t expect the sense of being kicked in the gut. “You must be happy,” he said. “Back to your own place.”

She hesitated just a second before answering. “I am, of course. Just like you’re thrilled to have your place all to yourself. Not that you haven’t been the perfect host. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”

“Thank you.” He put the glass dragon on the island. “You’ve been an exemplary guest.”

Her eyes widened as she picked up the tiny glass creature and set it on her palm. “Oh, Ronan, he’s wonderful.” She raised her gaze to his. “How did you get the folds in the glass?”

“It’s not easy. I’ve been failing for two days. I still have to work on the scales, but he’s getting there.”

“I love him. Thank you.” She smiled. “I finally have a Ronan Mitchell original.”

Right—because she couldn’t afford any of his regular pieces. He wasn’t sure if she was teasing or not because if she really did want something he’d made—a real piece of art—she was welcome to any in his storage room. He started to say that, then realized the offer could easily come out wrong.

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I am. Very.”

The polite response, he told himself. She was saying what you were supposed to say—nothing more. Yet he couldn’t help wishing she was telling the truth about spending time with him.

* * *

NATALIE SEARCHED THROUGH the drawers in the turret art studio. There were so many supplies stored so haphazardly that she was never sure where she’d seen what she was looking for. Ronan kept his work space organized, so she wasn’t sure why the turret was such controlled chaos. She wondered if he’d simply ordered every art supply he could think of, then had randomly stored them without giving them a second thought.

Not that she minded the search. As she opened cupboards and drawers, she found iridescent discs she could use, along with some black glitter. Her time with Ronan had a distinct dragon theme, one she was continuing with her piece.

She opened the small bag of clear, iridescent discs to make sure she had enough to be scales. She thought she might need another bag, which would mean another search. She would use the black glitter for the eyes and to tip the wings and the tail. She’d seen a box of small gold-colored paper clips in a drawer. Maybe if she used those with the discs she could add dimension to the scales and have enough material for the body. She also had some glass beads she wanted to incorporate and—

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She turned and saw Ronan walk into the studio. Her heartbeat instantly accelerated and her palms got sweaty. What on earth? Was she coming down with something?

“How’s it going?” he asked.

“Good. I’m getting there.”

“May I?”

She nodded and he approached to study her work-in-progress.

The finished piece would be large—maybe two feet by four feet. The canvas lay flat on the largest of the work spaces. She’d applied two coats of flat white paint to seal the material before drawing the outline of her dragon in pencil.

“I’m going to do a night scene,” she said. “I haven’t found the right material for the sky. I’m thinking I want something with texture like beads or maybe pebbles. The white showing through will be the stars.”

She picked up a few of the torn pieces of paper she’d piled on the desk. “I’m not sure about these. Maybe bits of fabric would be better.”

“They’d handle light differently,” he said. “Do you want me to make you some black glass beads for the sky?”

“No! Are you insane? Ronan, no. You can’t. You have a multimillion-dollar commission you need to be working on. I can buy glass beads.”

“If you don’t have a strong opinion,” he said, his voice teasing.

“Make me glass beads,” she grumbled. “As if.”

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her. “Does the inspiration always come from what you have around, or do you find your vision determines what you’re going to use?”

“Both. I thought of dragons the second I drove up the mountain, so that’s where the idea came from. Then I used what I could find in here.” She grinned. “It’s a pretty sweet setup. I have great light in my home studio, but it’s just a boring bedroom. This is so much better.” She glanced toward the window. “I would love to see what it’s like up here when the sun has been shining for days. You have southern exposure. It makes me wish I was a better painter.” She wrinkled her nose. “But we all know that’s not going to happen.”

“You like working in paper.”

“I do. It’s fun. Not just the origami, but other things. I’ve done a few paper mobiles for baby gifts. That’s been interesting. Sometimes Pallas asks me to help with a wedding.”

“Nick’s Pallas?” He sounded surprised.

She nodded. “You do remember that she owns a destination wedding business, right? Couples come from all over to be married at Weddings Out of the Box.”

“I’ve heard rumors, yes.”

“Most of the weddings are variations on a theme, but every now and then one of them is totally custom. If there’s something I can do to help, I will. It’s fun for me and a nice bonus for the income stream. One of the Valentine’s Day weddings was all things hearts. Not original considering, but still. I made origami hearts that held the place cards for the reception, and a lot of bigger folded hearts for decorations. Last year for an under-the-sea wedding, I made little turtles and starfish that were scattered on the tables.” A lot of work, but she’d enjoyed the challenge.

“Nick helps Pallas with a lot of her decorations,” Ronan said. “He enjoys the work.”

“You made the glowy orbs for the alien wedding.” She remembered how cool they’d looked with all the other decorations. “It’s nice to be a part of things. Maybe I should learn to do caricatures.”

“For weddings?”

“At the reception. As a memento. I’d have to be really fast, though, which probably takes a lot of practice.”

“You’re not going to settle on just one thing, are you?”

“Maybe if I could sell it for a lot of money,” she said with a laugh. “I love being an artist, but I do enjoy paying my bills. For the right price, I could be bought.”

Her record sale had been for nearly two thousand dollars, but that had been for an entire collection, and for a fundraiser. She hadn’t seen a cent. She’d yet to sell a single piece for more than three hundred dollars, and she had to split her sad little payment with the gallery. Oh, to be in the four-figure range.

She glanced at Ronan. His pieces sold for several hundred thousand dollars. What must that be like, to never have to worry about money? She and her mom had always pinched pennies, but her mom had made it fun—like a game. Their frugal habits had served her well as an adult.

Having a baby would be a financial responsibility, she thought as she remembered her baby daddy app. She would need savings and more regular income and better medical insurance.

Ronan frowned. “What are you thinking? You’re looking fierce about something.”

“Just that I might not be ready to have a baby by myself.”

“Rethinking the app?”

“I’m still going to play with it, but I’m not ready for a donor at this exact moment.” But if she started seriously planning, then maybe in the next year or so.

She knew she wanted a family—connection. She talked about having bad luck with men because it was an easy almost-truth. The real story was harder and more painful. First she’d lost her mother, her only family. Later, when Quentin had dumped her, she’d not only lost the man she’d loved, she’d lost the promise of belonging. Until he’d told her otherwise, she’d believed that his family cared about her and wanted her to be one of them. But she’d been wrong and once again she’d been left alone. A baby would mean being part of something again.

She would have to think on it and decide what was the most important to her. Was she willing to work full-time and put her art on the back burner for the chance to belong? Because that would mean she could get pregnant much sooner. Life, it seemed, was always about choices.

“Come on,” she said, standing and walking to the door. “I defrosted some cooked chicken and a loaf of bread overnight. I thought we could have chicken salad sandwiches for dinner.” She paused by the door and wiggled her eyebrows at him. “I’ll even cook.”

“Impressive.”

“I know, right? Oh, and maybe we could eat in the family room instead of the dining room.”

He paused in midstride and stared at her. “Why?” he asked, his voice more than a little suspicious.

“I thought we could watch a movie.”

“Uh-huh. Which one?”

“Which one do you think?”

“Not Frozen. I mean that, Natalie. We are not watching a kids’ movie over dinner.”

She walked onto the landing and started down the stairs. “It’s so strange. I know you’re talking but all I hear is a buzzing sound.”

* * *

NATALIE WAITED UNTIL the credits finished rolling before turning to Ronan. “Admit it. You have to. You know I’m right. You loved every single minute of it.”

Ronan leaned back in the big sofa and shook his head. “I’m not admitting anything.” Then he glanced at her. One corner of his mouth turned up in the sexiest way possible. “It was okay.”

She threw a pillow at him. “You are so lying. It was wonderful. You laughed, you got scared, you were totally engaged.”