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“What is?” he asked mildly, his calm voice a contrast to her shrill tones.
“That I…that you…” She drew a deep breath, then sagged back against the cushions. “You could have warned me.”
“I thought it might warm you from the inside.”
Like electricity seeking a conductor, her gaze sought his mouth. Oh, no. He knew exactly what she was thinking, damn her innocent little hide. He told himself she was a fool. He told himself to ignore her. It didn’t help. He could practically taste her. His heartbeat quickened and his blood flowed hotter.
She sipped her coffee, never taking her gaze from him. Most of the time he found her feelings for him faintly amusing. From a distance she was easy to take. But here, in the close confines of his loft, with the storm cutting them off from the rest of the world, it would be far too simple to take her up on her offer.
He eyed her relaxed posture and the way his robe had slipped off one of her knees, baring her calf and part of her thigh. Her skin looked smooth. He knew it would be warm to the touch, soft and supple.
He forced himself to look away and concentrate on the facts. One, she was a friend of Travis and Elizabeth’s. He wouldn’t hurt either of them for anything, and dallying with Rebecca was bound to upset them. Two, she wasn’t his type. At twenty-nine she’d probably been involved with men before, but not men like him. He knew that. There was something about him. He didn’t know if it was his money or his desire to stand outside and observe without always participating, but women seemed to find him attractive. The invitations came fast and furious. He was always careful about which ones he accepted. The rules of the game were simple—no emotional involvement, no promises, no commitment. He glanced back at his guest. Rebecca Chambers and those like her played for keeps.
“Austin, I—”
“Don’t worry about it, honey. Just tell me why you’re here.”
Her eyebrows drew together in a delicate frown. She reminded him of a porcelain doll come to life. He would do well to keep thinking of her as off-limits, he told himself as the collar of her robe parted slightly, allowing him a view of her pale throat.
“Because of the fire.”
“Fire?” He jerked his thoughts back from their erotic journey and concentrated on what she was saying.
“The one in town a few days ago. I’m sure you heard about it.”
“Just that a couple of old buildings burned down.” He shrugged. “I’ve been working hard this week, and I haven’t been to town.”
“Oh.”
She took another sip of her coffee, then set the mug on the table in front of her. As she bent forward, the robe gaped more, allowing him to see down the front. She had a small build, but the shape of her breasts was perfect. Creamy ivory crested in coral. His mouth grew dry. He clenched his hands into fists and wished to hell she would stay upright.
“The children’s home burned down.”
“What?” He sprang to his feet. “Is everyone all right?”
“We’re fine. We were lucky. It was during the day. The older kids were at school and the younger ones were at the park playing. No one was there, so there weren’t any injuries. But we lost the whole building. All our supplies, the kids’ toys, everything.”
“It’s gone?” He stalked over to the large window taking up most of one living room wall. He didn’t even have to close his eyes to picture the old two-story building. It had been built sometime in the thirties. Most of the bigger rooms had murals. He’d often stood for hours studying those paintings, wondering who the people in the pictures were and what the artists had been thinking as they’d painstakingly worked their art.
He reached the window and braced his hands on the sill. He could feel the chill of the wind and the dampness from the storm. A large bolt of lightning flashed across the sky and the lights in the room flickered.
“Austin?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you all right?”
“What?” He inhaled sharply, as if he could still smell the odors of stew, old athletic shoes and baby powder. “Yeah. I’m just surprised.”
“I didn’t know you had a connection with the children’s home.”
He heard her bare feet on the floor as she walked toward him. He didn’t turn around, but continued to stare out in the darkening afternoon and the rain pouring down. “I lived there for a couple of years.”
He glanced down at her. She stood next to him, staring up. Her mouth hung open. She closed it slowly and didn’t say anything, but he could see the questions in her brown eyes. If he told her the whole story, she’d get all compassionate and misty-eyed. It happened to women all the time. Occasionally he used the story to his advantage, but not today. Not with Rebecca. He didn’t want to encourage her. Not because he wasn’t interested, but because he was.
“You’re an orphan?” she asked, her voice low and sympathetic.
“Not exactly.”
“Then why were you in the home?”
He didn’t answer. He stared down at her, knowing he was giving her what Jasmine had laughingly called the ice glare. She hadn’t been intimidated by it because she hadn’t been involved enough to care. Rebecca swallowed hard as his expression became more forbidding. She looked away and folded her hands together in front of her waist.
He felt as if he’d just kicked a kitten and had to fight the urge to apologize. Damn. What was wrong with him? Why was she getting to him? Was it the unexpected desire he felt when he looked at her? Or was it something more ominous? A whisper of envy for the innocence in her face. The knowledge that he had never been that open to the world, not even when he was a child. Life had taught them very different lessons. He’d always known he wasn’t like everyone else. He’d accepted that fact, had even been proud of it. Until about a year ago, when he’d awakened to the realization that he would always be alone.
“You don’t want to talk about it,” she said, brushing a strand of hair off her face and turning away. Her shoulders slumped.
He swore under his breath. Why did she have to be so easy to read?
“I was transferred there from another home. I was a troublemaker when I was a kid.”
She looked back at him and gave him a sweet smile. “That I believe.”
“I’d hated where I’d been and I’d planned to hate this place. Then at school I met Travis and his brothers. They sort of changed everything for me.”
“I’ve always wondered how the two of you became friends. You seem so different.”
He raised his eyebrows. “In what way?”
She leaned against the wall and tucked her hands in the small of her back. “He’s so open and friendly. Always good for a laugh. And you’re…” She stopped talking and looked up at him. “What I meant to say is that you’re…”
“Yes?” He folded his arms.
Her breathing increased, and with it the rise and fall of her chest. The thick robe parted slightly, exposing her neck and the hollow of her throat. It shouldn’t have been provocative, but the sight of her bare skin made him want to move close to her and touch and taste every inch of her body. He shifted so the natural reactions to his thoughts would be less obvious.
“You’re different,” she said at last. “How exactly did you meet Travis?”
“I tried to beat him up.”
“What?”
He grinned at the memory. “We were both in the eighth grade. I think I’d been in school about two days and I’d already been in four fights. Travis said something about me being a bully. I turned on him. What I didn’t know at the time was that if you mess with one Haynes brother, you mess with all of them. The other three came running, ready to take apart my hide.”
“What happened?”
“I was ready to get the—” he glanced at her “—living daylights out of me, when Travis did the damnedest thing. He took my side against his brothers. They wouldn’t fight him. Then the vice principal showed up and they all defended me.”
“And you’ve been friends ever since,” she said, staring straight ahead with a dreamy expression in her eyes. “That’s a lovely story. Travis must have seen that you were just a scared and lonely little boy.”
Austin was torn between a desire to frighten her back into being afraid of him and surprise that she’d figured out the truth. That was exactly what Travis had seen. Funny, he’d never told anyone that before. But his relationship with Travis and his brothers had been the reason he’d returned to Glenwood. This was the only place he’d ever liked well enough to stay for more than a few months at a time.
“Yeah, well, it was a long time ago.” He pushed off the windowsill and walked over to a desk in the corner by the stairs. “What’s going on with the children’s home? Do you need money?” He opened the top drawer and pulled out a checkbook. “Is that why you came to see me?”
“Not exactly.”
He’d picked up a pen, but now he put it down. Rebecca crossed the room and stopped behind the wing chair he’d been sitting in. She rested her hands on the high back and gripped the fabric. The lights flickered again; the sounds of the storm increased. He could hear the rumble of thunder and the pounding of the rain on the windows.
He would have given his soul to see her slip the robe off her shoulders and walk into his arms. The corner of his mouth quirked up. He didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening. She might have a crush on him, but she wasn’t about to throw herself at him. Just as well. He would have a hard time refusing that kind of invitation.
He studied her face, the high cheekbones, the wide mouth, and tried to figure out what it was about her that made him want to break all his rules. Some of it was her crush. It was tough not to be flattered when a woman like her acted like a fool in his presence. Normally women fawning over him made him uncomfortable enough to start checking for the closest exit. But Rebecca was different. Maybe it was because she watched him with such adoration. Ironically it was her high ideals that would keep her safe from him. There was just enough decency left in him not to want to destroy her false image. If Rebecca Chambers knew the truth about him, she would run screaming in the opposite direction.
He was doing her a favor by keeping the truth a secret. He ignored the voice inside that whispered he might not just be doing it for her. That maybe he had something to gain. Maybe her blushes and stammerings and long glances fed some empty, almost dead part of his useless heart.
She raised her hands and grabbed her hair, pulled it back into a ponytail, then released the long curls. She was a fairy-tale princess, he thought, then scoffed at his own fancy. Get real, Lucas, he told himself.
“I need your house,” she said, and drew a deep breath as if preparing to deliver a long speech. “Oh, God, I know what you’re thinking. It’s too much to ask. I wouldn’t ask you except I’ve been everywhere else. I have twenty kids sleeping in the school auditorium, but they can’t stay there indefinitely. The state has assured me I’ll have money to build a new facility, but in the meantime, I’m on my own. Travis suggested I see you. He said there’s an empty house on your property that’d be big enough. We wouldn’t be a bother.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
She took a step closer. Her hands twisted together, the fingers lacing and unlacing. “Oh, Austin, you’re my last hope. I’ve checked around town. The problem is I don’t have any money. I have some, but I need to replace food and clothing and toys. People in town have been great, but it’s not enough. We’d only need the house for about three months.” She grimaced. “Gosh, that sounds so long. I could split the kids up, but I hate to do that. David is just seven. His parents and older sister were killed in a car crash. He’s pretty normal, considering what’s happened to him. He talks and still does his schoolwork. But he can’t seem to make friends. He stands outside all the games the other children play. He watches them. Even when they invite him, he won’t join in. It’s been six weeks since the accident.”
She rubbed her palms together, then held out her hands pleadingly. “He has relatives, but they’re too busy fighting over the estate to care about a seven-year-old boy. The deal they’ve all worked out is whoever gets control of the money is willing to be stuck with the kid.” She shook her head. “Stuck. He’s sweet and funny and very bright. If I can find a family willing to adopt him, I’ll petition the court for custody. In the meantime, we’re the only family he has.”
He tried not to think about the lost boy, but deep in his chest he felt a familiar ache. “Rebecca, I don’t see—”
“Then I have to make you see.” Her voice became husky. “Oh, Austin, there are so many children. There are the twins. They’ve been abandoned by their alcoholic grandmother. And Melanie, she’s just f-five.” Her voice cracked. “Her uncle… His older brothers had done bad things to him, so he took it out on Melanie. The doctor’s aren’t sure if she’ll ever be able to have children.”
He cursed under his breath and stood up. In three strides he was standing directly in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her gently.
“Hush, Rebecca. It’s okay. What I started to say is that I don’t think it’s going to be a problem. You’re welcome to the house. For as long as you need it.”
She blinked several times and he realized she was fighting tears. Through the thick layer of the robe, he could feel her slender shoulders tremble. There were dark circles under her eyes and lines of weariness around her mouth.
“Really?” she asked.
“Really. Have you been handling all of this alone?”
She nodded. Her head dipped toward her chest. “I haven’t hired a new assistant since Elizabeth went on maternity leave.” She sniffed, then raised her head. Her smile was a little shaky, but it hit him like a right hook to the jaw. “I can’t tell you what this means to us.”
He released her and stepped back. Great. He’d just gone up three points in her estimation. He didn’t need to fuel her case of hero worship.
“It’s nothing,” he said, flicking his hand dismissively. “The house is empty. You’ll have to rent some beds and stuff. I’ll pick up the tab for that.”
When her big eyes got bigger, he grimaced. “I’m not doing this for you, Rebecca,” he said bluntly. “I’m doing it for the kids and because the people who ran the home were good to me when I stayed there. This isn’t anything but a business deal. I’m paying an old debt. Don’t make it more than it is.”
Judging by the light in her eyes, he hadn’t made his point well enough.
“This is wonderful!” she said. She tugged on the belt around her waist. “I was so afraid of what would happen if you’d said no.” She laughed. “I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is sleeping in a cot in the elementary-school auditorium.”
“Why have you been staying there?”
“I lost my night supervisor, and I haven’t been able to hire someone to replace her. About a month ago, I moved into the home. It was easier.”
“You lost everything in the fire, too.” It wasn’t a question.
“Not everything, exactly. I had some stuff in storage.”
He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until all the bad things went away. He wanted to hit the stairs running and never look back. “Saint Rebecca,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Let me guess. You’ve been doing this all by yourself. Coordinating where the kids are going to stay temporarily, finding a new place, collecting clothes.”
“You sound as if I’ve done something wrong. The children are my responsibility.”
He felt old and tired, and far too cynical to spend time with someone like her. In his ugly little world, very few people went out of their way to do more than they had to. He was as guilty as the rest of them. It was easier to stay detached that way. Easier to forget why he couldn’t get involved.
“Did I say something to offend you?” she asked.
He looked at her, at the long dark hair, at her big eyes and the trembling set of her mouth. From the top of her head down to her unpainted toenails, she was alien to him.
He leaned toward her and slipped his hand over her shoulder to the nape of her neck. She stiffened but didn’t move. Despite her recent shower, he could smell the sweet scent of her body. It reminded him of vanilla and sunshine, nothing like the musky Oriental fragrances his lovers normally favored.
Her skin was as smooth and warm as he’d imagined. His thumb traced a pattern on her spine, then he curled his fingers into her hair. Her expression held no fear, only faint anticipation and a trusting calm that made him want to bellow with impatience.
“Who the hell are you, Rebecca Chambers?” he asked. “What are you doing in my life?”
“I don’t know how to answer that,” she whispered.
His other hand reached for the collar of the robe. It would be so easy to grab the thick material and jerk it open, exposing her to his gaze. Would she fight him or submit willingly?
He touched the terry cloth, moving back and forth, but didn’t go near her skin.
“Have you ever gotten a ticket?” he asked.
She nodded. “I forgot to put enough change in the meter.”
A parking ticket. He almost groaned. “Ever been really stone-face drunk?”
“No.”
“Had sex with a stranger?”
She blushed and shook her head. Her eyes never left his. He saw the flash of fear, but it was gone before he could feed it.
“Have you ever, in your entire life, done anything bad?”
Her gaze dropped to his mouth, then to the floor. “No.”
