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Another nice woman, Aidan thought grimly. They were everywhere. He shouldn’t even be looking at her, let alone having a conversation.
“Want some aspirin?” she asked.
“No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”
Patience grinned at Shelby. “I don’t believe that, do you?”
“Not for a second, but it’s fun to let him pretend.”
They were mocking him. He was about to protest that he was sitting right there when he remembered that he deserved it. That and more.
Patience finished refilling his mug and then walked back to the counter. Before Aidan could refocus, Shelby leaned toward him.
“How would being married make you stuck?” she repeated.
She wasn’t going away. He got that. So fine. He would tell her the truth. “If you love someone, you’re stuck. You have to do things you don’t want to do.”
“You’re not talking about going to restaurants you don’t like, or taking out the trash, are you?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” She studied him. “So the tourists were a way to stay safe.” The smile returned. “And get laid. A twofer.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t put it like that.”
“Because it makes you a jerk?”
He thought about what had happened the previous night. “What did you hear? About the woman?”
“This and that. Tell me your version.”
He wasn’t sure if she’d been sent to make sure he got that he deserved to be punished or if this was just one of those happy accidents. Either way, he was going to spill his guts and let fate take care of the rest.
“I was hanging out at The Man Cave for their New Year’s Eve party. With friends.” He’d been drinking beer...at least at first. A hangover hadn’t been part of his master plan.
“This woman walked up to me.”
“Did you recognize her?”
“Of course.” Sort of. “I knew we’d probably hung out over the summer.”
“Hung out being a euphemism for had sex?”
He winced. “You’re a lot less delicate than you look.”
“Thank you. So she said hi, and...?”
Aidan sighed. “She didn’t say hi. She walked up to me and said she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me. That the week we’d had together had changed her. She was hoping I felt the same way because she wanted to quit her job and move to Fool’s Gold to be with me.”
Shelby waited. He was pretty sure she knew the punch line to the joke that was his life, but hey, he could say it. In fact, saying it out loud was probably a good thing. Or at the very least, well deserved.
“It wasn’t a week,” he said firmly. “If it had been a week, I would have remembered.”
“Her?”
He cleared his throat. “Her name. I couldn’t remember her name. Or when she’d been here. She got that right away. She got mad and started yelling.”
The bar had gone quiet as the scorned woman had called him everything from a rat bastard to a male whore. He’d taken it because he honest to God couldn’t remember her name. He’d spent at least a couple of days with her, had talked to her, laughed with her, had sex with her and walked away without being able to remember who she was.
Which made him everything she’d called him and worse. He didn’t mind that he had had a lot of women in his life, but to not remember their names—that was bad. It was the hookup equivalent of a drunk waking up in a gutter with no recollection of how he’d got there. She was his rock bottom. Not that she would appreciate the fact, unless she could also bury him under said rocks.
“What happens now?” Shelby asked.
“Hell if I know. I didn’t like what I saw in her face. I’m sorry I hurt her. I’m sorry I’ve become that kind of guy. I want to do better. I have to change. I never meant to hurt anybody. That was the point. No one was supposed to get hurt.” He shook his head, held in a groan, then drank more coffee. “What does it matter? I am that guy.” He put down the mug. “Or I was.”
“You’re going to change?”
“Yeah. I have to. Not wanting to get stuck is one thing, but to be such an ass... That’s not me.”
Shelby’s gaze was steady. She looked at him for a long time before nodding. “Okay. Thanks for talking to me.”
“You gonna slap me or absolve me?”
“Neither. I was curious.”
“Whatever floats your boat.”
She laughed. “Keep hydrating, Aidan. And the next time someone offers you aspirin, you should probably take it.”
“Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime.”
She stood and carried her mug to the counter and put it in the bin for dirty dishes. Aidan watched her shrug into her coat, then walk out into the cold morning.
Pretty, he thought absently. Not that her appearance meant anything to him because he knew at least part of the solution to his problem. Swearing off women would be drastic, but it would also help make things right. Yup, that was what he had to do. Give them up completely. Forever. Starting now.
* * *
THE SIDEWALKS IN town were clear, with snow piled up by the curb. Christmas trees and holly wreaths still hung in store windows, along with banners proclaiming the New Year. Fool’s Gold was a town defined by the seasons and the festivals that went with them. Shelby liked the ever-changing decorations that hung off the light posts. By Monday all the signs of Christmas and New Year’s would be gone, replaced by the bright colors of Cabin Fever Days. Snowmen would appear in front yards and there would be an ice-sculpture competition in the park.
She’d already heard from several of the artists who’d sent her sketches of their designs. From those, she’d created a simple template, which was turned into a cookie cutter. During the popular festival, the bakery would sell the custom cookies in the store and in their two food carts.
This would be their second year operating the food carts and the first offering custom cookies. Both had been her idea and Shelby was excited and nervous about the cookies. Excited because she was sure they were going to be a hit. Nervous because they were her second big suggestion as a new business owner.
Last fall she’d bought into Ambrosia Bakery as a minority partner. There were days she still couldn’t believe she actually owned part of a business. Her! While she’d loved culinary school, she’d quickly realized that the pastry classes were her favorite and had changed her major to baking and pastry arts. Her internship had led to a job and her life had been on track.
For all of fifteen minutes, she thought ruefully. Then her mom had gotten sick and everything had changed.
Shelby paused at the corner. It was still early in the day. The bakery was closed for the holiday, so she could go home and enjoy a rare long weekend. Or, she could go to work and play with cookies—perfecting the decorating of the custom ice-sculpture-inspired shapes.
As home was a small one-bedroom apartment where no one waited for her—not even a goldfish—she turned right on Second and walked toward the familiar white storefront with the pretty silver awning. Before she got there, a car pulled up next to her and a blonde woman got out.
Shelby smiled at her friend Madeline. “Shouldn’t you be off being romantic with your movie-star fiancé?”
Madeline hugged her blue coat close and grinned. “I have been, but we’re taking a rest. I came home to get a few things and thought I’d say hi.” She wrinkled her nose. “I just knew you’d be working today.”
Shelby held up both hands. “I’m not at the bakery.”
“You’re three feet away.”
Shelby laughed. “Okay, yes. I’m going to play with the new cookie designs. Why not? It’s quiet and I like baking.”
“Any leftovers for hungry friends?”
“I’m sure there are.”
Shelby locked the front door behind them, then flipped on the lights. She loved being the first person in the building. Everywhere she looked, there was the promise of delicious things to come. The huge bowls, the racks brimming with supplies, the massive ovens—all ready to make magic from a few ingredients.
Shelby had always enjoyed cooking, but culinary school had given her the technical expertise that had freed her creativity. While she could appreciate the perfection of a smooth and spicy sauce or a delicious entrée, the truth was most people celebrated little moments with a cookie or a brownie or cake. No one said, “Yay, you got a raise. Let’s have a sandwich.”
She liked that, on a daily basis, she was a part of people’s lives. That Fridays were made a little brighter because of her doughnuts or pastries. That weddings and baby showers were prettier with her cakes and that birthdays came in all colors and shapes.
She pointed to the small bistro tables by the window. The bakery had more of a walk-in clientele, but they did have a few chairs for the odd tourist who wanted to eat in.
“What would you like? I have cupcakes, but they’re a day old.”
“I can make that work,” Madeline said with a grin. “Anything day old from you is better than fresh anywhere else.”
Shelby laughed. “I don’t care if you’re just saying that to be a good friend. I’m going to accept the compliment and hold it close to my heart.”
“As you should.”
Shelby went into the back and pulled out several large plastic bins, where the pastries that hadn’t sold were stored. After selecting an assortment, she piled them onto a plate before starting the small coffeemaker the employees used. She collected mugs and napkins, then took everything to the front of the bakery.
Light spilled in through the big window. Despite the chill in the air, the day promised to be sunny. The mountains to the east reminded her of Colorado—where she and her brother had grown up. Those had been fun, happy times, she reminded herself. More good than bad, at least when she’d been younger. Eventually the bad would fade and she would be left with only positive recollections.
She sat across from Madeline and studied her friend. Madeline’s eyes were bright with love and contentment and her skin practically glowed.
“Being in love agrees with you,” Shelby told her.
“I feel amazing. Like I’ve been waiting for Jonny all my life. When I’m with him, I can barely breathe and when I’m away from him, I can’t wait to see him again.”
“Young love,” Shelby said with a sigh. “I remember it well.”
Madeline laughed. “Oh, please. You’re twenty-eight, which means you don’t get to mock young love.”
“I wasn’t mocking. I was expressing gentle envy. I’m happy for you and I’d like a little of that myself.” She paused, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Not with Jonny, of course.”
“I knew that.”
Shelby stood. “Let me go pour the coffee, then we’ll eat sugary carbs until we can’t move.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Madeline followed her into the back. “You doing okay?”
The question sounded casual enough, but Shelby sensed the concern. Her friend had found her crying the Sunday after Christmas. She’d been phoning and texting regularly ever since.
“I’m fine. Better. I was just missing my mom.”
Shelby poured them both large mugs of coffee. Madeline added creamer to hers, then they walked back to the small table by the window.
“The holidays are hard,” Shelby admitted. “I always miss her, but it’s worse this time of year.”
“It’s your second year without her, isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh.”
Last year had been worse. She’d been in a new place, on her own. Kipling had still been in rehab after his skiing accident. She’d flown down to spend Christmas with him, then had returned to Fool’s Gold and her job. But through the entire holiday season, she’d been acutely aware of the fact that except for her brother, she had no one in the world. Something she wanted to change.
Madeline’s blue eyes turned knowing. “So last Christmas you were dealing with a fresh loss, while this year, you’re more settled. But Kipling’s married now, with a baby on the way, so everything is still different.”
“Possibly.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. How can I help?”
“You already are helping by being my friend.”
Madeline grinned. “But that’s so easy.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Shelby picked up a peanut butter cookie. Even a couple of days old, they were still soft and sweet, with the perfect hint of crispness. The bite she took practically melted on her tongue.
“So,” Madeline said as she leaned forward. “Have you decided? Are you going to go for it?”
Shelby thought about the alternative. Always making a bad decision for the very best of reasons. She wanted more. Of course, feeling safe was important, but she’d meant what she said before—she wanted what her friend had. A wonderful man to love who would love her in return. But to find that, to even start looking, she had to get over her fears.
Baby steps, she reminded herself. First a man as a friend, then a man as a significant other.
Shelby drew in a breath. “I’m going to do it,” she said firmly.
Madeline’s brows rose. “Seriously? Good for you. Have you picked the guy?”
“Aidan Mitchell.”
Her friend’s brows went up another half inch as Madeline’s mouth fell open. “Aidan?”
Shelby nodded. “Did you hear what happened last night?”
“With Aidan? No. What?”
