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He pushed forward an inch, and she braced instinctively against the sharp sting of pain.
“Easy,” he whispered, his beautiful eyes alight with tenderness. “Relax, Olivia.”
She tried to do as he asked, but he was fully aroused, and she was so tight. His whole big body trembled violently, and she wanted to cry at the beauty of it. Another inch. Another gasped cry to be swallowed up in his wild kiss.
She felt torn asunder, violated, but in the best possible way. Never again would her body be hers. Kevin claimed it, claimed her.
When he was fully seated, tears rolled silently down her cheeks, wetting her hair, sliding into her ears.
He rested his forehead on hers. “Was it that bad?” he asked, clearly striving for humor, but unable to hide his distress over what had transpired.
“Try moving,” she said breathlessly. “I think I can handle it.”
“Holy hell.” His discomfiture almost elicited a giggle, but when he followed her naive suggestion, humor fled. Slowly, inexorably, her untried body learned his rhythm. Deep inside her a tiny flame flickered to life.
She moaned, arching her back and driving him deeper on a down thrust. It was easier now, and far more exciting. Her long legs wrapped around his waist. Skin damp with exertion, they devoured each other, desperately trying to get closer still.
Kevin went rigid and cursed, closing his eyes and groaning as he climaxed inside her. She was taking the pill, and he had been tested recently, so no condom came between them.
As he slumped on top of her, she wrinkled her nose in disappointment. She had been so close to something spectacular. But the feeling faded. Taking its place was a warmth and satisfaction that she had been able to give him pleasure.
He rolled to his side. “Did you come?”
She nibbled her lip. Would it hurt to lie? It wasn’t a habit she wanted to start. “Not exactly. But I know it takes practice. Don’t worry about it… really.”
He chuckled, yawning and stretching. “For a novice, you’re pretty damned wonderful. Hold still, baby, and let’s finish this.”
Without ceremony, he put his hand between her legs and touched her. She flinched, still not quite comfortable with this level of intimacy, and also feeling tender and sore. His fingers were gentle, finding a certain spot and rubbing lightly. Her hips came off the bed.
“Um, Kevin?”
“What, honey?”
“You don’t have to do this. To tell you the truth, I’m feeling sort of embarrassed.”
“Why?” The strum of his fingers picked up tempo.
“Well, you’re… um… finished, and it’s a little weird now.” Her voice caught in her throat. “That’s enough. I feel good. Really.”
He entered her with two fingers and bit the side of her neck. “How about now?”
Her shriek could have peeled paint off the walls, but shewas too far gone to care. The attention she gave herself now and again when the lights were out barely held a candle to this maelstrom. Kevin gave no quarter, stroking her firmly until her orgasm crested, exploded and winnowed away, leaving her spent in his arms.
She cried again.
He made fun of her with gentle humor.
Then they turned out the lights and spent their first night together, wrapped in each other’s arms.
Kieran cupped her breast with his hand, and just like that, Olivia was fully in the present. What shocked her back to reality was the incredible realization that she was a hairs-breadth away from letting him have her again. No protest. No discussion. Simply mindless pleasure.
And while that may have been okay six years ago, now she had a daughter to think about. Sexual reminiscing with Kieran Wolff was not only self-destructive and stupid, but also detrimental to her role as a parent.
“Enough,” she said hoarsely, tearing herself from his embrace and warding him off with a hand when he would have dragged her back for another kiss. “I mean it,” she said. “We’re not doing this. You can’t seduce me into agreeing to your terms.”
“Give us both more credit than that, Olivia. What happened just now proves that we’ve always had chemistry… and still do.”
“If you’re expecting to pick up where we left off, you’re destined for disappointment.”
“Is that so? From what I could tell, what just happened was a two-way street.”
“It’s late,” she said abruptly. “I have to go.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a hip against the back of the sofa, his eyes narrowed. From the look of him, no one would guess that sixty seconds ago he’d been kissing her senseless. “You can’t run from me, Olivia. Closing your eyes and thinking about Kansas is a child’s game. I want some answers.”
Her phone chimed to signal a text, and she pulled it from her pocket, glancing at it automatically. Her mother’s words chilled her blood.
Kieran touched her shoulder as she sank to a seat. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“The flight was delayed. My mother has a stalker fan, and he showed up at the airport.”
He squatted beside her, his mere presence lending comfort. “What happened?”
“When he tried to burst through a checkpoint, calling her name, TSA arrested him.”
He frowned. “I don’t like the thought of Cammie being exposed to something like that.”
“First of all, my parents take security very seriously, and second of all, this is none of your business. I’m her mother. It’s up to me to keep her safe.”
From his vantage point crouched at her side, their gazes collided. “You don’t have to do this alone anymore,” he said quietly, the words like a vow. “Any child with my blood running in her veins has the protection of the entire Wolff clan at her back.”
She swallowed hard, near tears, missing her daughter and feeling out of her depth. “A child is not a belonging. She’s her own person. Even if she is only five.”
“You think I don’t know that? I was a year younger than she is now when my mother was killed.” He sprang to his feet, pacing once more. “My brother Gareth was the only one of us really old enough to understand and remember the details, but I lived it, and those terrible days are buried somewhere in my psyche… the confusion, the loneliness, the knowledge that my world was never going to be the same. No child should lose a parent, Olivia, even if she thinks she has only one.”
Guilt reached inside her chest and squeezed hard. Kieran Wolff had hurt her badly. Did she have the right to make her daughter vulnerable to his undeniable charm? Conversely, was she wrong to deny her child a father, even an absentee one? The same questions had haunted her for half a decade.
Her head ached. “We’ll visit for a long weekend,” she said, her voice tight. “As soon as Cammie gets back from Europe. But that’s all it will be. All it will ever be. And if you break your word to me, I’ll take her away and never speak to you again.”
His lips quirked in a half smile. “Mama Bear protecting her cub. I like seeing you in this maternal role, Olivia. It suits you.”
She gathered her purse and the light sweater she’d brought with her. “No one and nothing in this world means more to me than Cammie. And you’d do well to remember that. Good night, Kieran. Pleasant dreams.”
He followed her to the door, having the temerity to press another hard kiss to her lips before allowing her to leave. “I’ll dream,” he said, brushing her cheek with the back of a hand. “But I have a feeling that pleasant won’t be the right word for it.”
Four (#ulink_399d828a-d2bd-5cd5-9d4a-7cf5f32d7d47)
Kieran had never liked waiting. The ten days that elapsed between his confrontation with Olivia and her arrival at Wolff Mountain were interminable. Every moment of every day he imagined a dozen excuses she could make to keep from showing up.
As an adolescent he’d imagined the walls of the monstrous house closing in on him, as if he were trapped in a castle dungeon. Even now, his homecoming was tainted with confusion. Mostly he felt the agitation of being stuck in one place. He liked the freedom of the open road.
But if he were honest with himself, he had to admit that Wolff Mountain drew him home time and again despite his conflicted feelings about its past… his past.
Having his brothers close went a long way toward passing the time. They shared meals at the “big house,” and Kieran was introduced to Gracie, Gareth’s new wife. Kieran’s older brother was happier than Kieran had seen him in years, and it was clear that he adored his bride.
In the mornings, Kieran hiked the mountain trails with Gareth, and after lunch every day, he helped Jacob add on a new room to the doc’s already state-of-the-art clinic. Kieran welcomed the physical exertion. Only by pushing himself to the point of exhaustion was he able to sleep at night. And even then he dreamed… God, he dreamed.
Olivia… in his bed, beneath him, her fabulous mane of hair spread across the pillows like a river of molten chocolate shot with gold. Her honey smooth skin bare-ass naked, waiting for him to touch every inch of it with his lips, his tongue, his ragged breath… He’d dreamed of her before… At least in the beginning. When he first lost her. But the pain of doing so had ultimately led him to pretend she didn’t exist. It was the only way he had survived.
But now, knowing that he and Olivia would soon be sharing a roof, the chains he’d used to bind up his memories shattered. He’d taken more cold showers in the past week than he had as a hormone-driven teen. And in the darkest hours of the night, he wondered with no small amount of guilt if he was using his own daughter as leverage to spend more time with the woman he’d never been able to forget.
Olivia wasn’t coming here to be his lover. She’d made that crystal clear. Her single concession was to allow Cammie a visit. And that was only because Kieran threatened court proceedings.
He still felt bad about that, but Olivia’s stubbornness infuriated him. Why couldn’t she just admit that in the short time they were together, they created a life? He knew the truth in his gut, but he needed Olivia to be honest… to tell him face-to-face. Until he heard her say the words out loud, he wouldn’t be satisfied.
With Cammie as his child, everything changed. It meant that when he was laboring in some godforsaken corner of the world, he could dream about returning home to someone who was his, a child who would love him and hug his neck.
Kieran’s family loved him, but coming home to Wolff Mountain was painful. So painful, in fact, that he made it back to the States only a couple of times a year. No matter how hard he tried, the memories of his mother, though vague and indistinct, permeated the air here. And those same memories reminded him of how helpless he had felt when she died.
Seeing his father and uncle and brothers and cousins crying had left an indelible mark on an impressionable four-year-old. Until then, he’d believed that men never cried, especially not his big, gruff daddy. Kieran had been confused, and fearful, and so desperate to make everything better.
The day of the funeral he pretended to take a nap while the adults were gone. While the nanny was on the phone with her boyfriend, Kieran slipped into his mother’s bedroom and ransacked the large walk-in closet that housed her clothes. He tugged at the hems of blouses and dresses and evening gowns, ripping them from the hangers and piling them up haphazardly until he had a small mountain.
The fabrics smelled like her. With tears streaming down his face, he climbed atop his makeshift bed, curled into a ball of misery and fell asleep, his thumb tucked in his mouth.
Kieran inhaled sharply, realizing that he had allowed himself the bittersweet, two-edged sword of memory. That’s why he came home so seldom. In another hemisphere he could pretend that his life was normal. That it had always been normal.
Returning to Wolff Mountain always pulled the Band-Aid off a wound that had never healed cleanly. He remembered being discovered on that terrible funeral day and escorted out of his parents’ bedroom. No one chastised him. No one took him to task for what he had done. But three days later when he worked up the courage to once again sneak into his mother’s closet, every trace of her was gone… as if she had never existed. Even the hangers had been removed.
That day he’d cried again, huddled in a ball in the corner of the bare closet. And this time, there was no comfort to be found. His world had shredded around him, leaving nothing but uncertainty and bleakness. He hated the stomach-hollowing feelings and the sensation of doom.
No child should ever have to feel abandoned, and sadly, Kieran and his brothers had been emotional orphans when their father fell apart in the wake of Laura Wolff’s death. It took Victor Wolff literally years to recover, and by then, the damage was done. The boys loved their father, but they had become closed off to softer emotions.
Kieran cursed and kicked at a pile of loose gravel in the driveway. Was Cammie his daughter? A tiny shred of doubt remained. He found it almost impossible to believe that Olivia had gone from his bed to another man’s so quickly. But he had hurt her badly… and she might have done it out of spite.
The girl in the photograph at Olivia’s house looked like a Wolff, though that might be wishful thinking on Kieran’s part. And as for the Kevin Wade on the birth certificate, well… Olivia might have done that to preserve her privacy. Using the name of a man who didn’t exist to protect her rights as a mother.
But God help him, if Olivia had lied… if she had kept him from his own flesh and blood, there was going to be hell to pay.
His cell phone beeped with a text from the front gate guard at the foot of the mountain. Olivia’s car had arrived.
She had flatly refused Wolff transportation, either the private jet or a ride from the airport. Her independence made a statement that said Kieran was unnecessary. It would be his pleasure to show her how wrong she was.
When a modest rental vehicle pulled into sight, he felt his heart race, not only at the prospect of seeing Olivia, but at the realization that he might be, for the first time, coming face-to-face with his progeny.
The car slid to a halt and Olivia stepped out. Before she could come around and help with the passenger door, it was flung open from the inside, and a small, slender girl hopped into view. She had brown hair pulled back into pigtails and wore a wary expression as she surveyed her surroundings. Though Kieran didn’t move, she spotted him immediately. Try as he might, Kieran could see no hint that she resembled his family. She looked like a kid. That’s all. A little kid.
She slipped her hand into Olivia’s. “It’s like Cinderella’s castle. Do we get to sleep here?”
“For a few nights.”
Kieran wondered if Olivia was intimidated by the size and scope of the house. She had grown up as the only child of famous, wealthy parents, but this structure—part fortress, part fairy tale—was beyond imagination for most people. All it was missing was gargoyles on the parapets. With turrets and battlements and thick, gray stone walls, it should have looked unwelcoming, but somehow, it suited this wild mountaintop.
“Who’s that, Mommy?”
Kieran stepped forward, but before he could speak, Olivia gave Kieran a warning look. “His name is Kieran. He’s a friend of mine. But you can call him Mr. Wolff.”
“She’d better call me Kieran to avoid confusion, because she’s going to be meeting a lot of Mr. Wolffs.”
Olivia’s lips tightened, but she didn’t argue.
Kieran knelt beside Cammie. “We’re glad to have you and your mommy here for a visit. Would you like to see the horses?” He took a punch to the chest when he realized the child’s eyes were the same color as his own, dark amber with flecks of gold and brown.
He glanced up at Olivia, his heart in his throat. Tell me, his gaze signaled furiously.
Olivia didn’t give an inch. “I think it would be best if Cammie and I rested for a while. It was a long, tiring flight and we’re beat.”
“But, Mommy,” Cammie wailed. “I love horses.”
Kieran straightened. “Surely a quick trip to the stables wouldn’t hurt. And after that you’ll nap with no argument, right, Cammie?”
The child was smart enough to know when a deal was worth taking. “Okay,” she said, the resignation in her voice oddly adult. She slipped her hand into Kieran’s. “C’mon, before she changes her mind.”
Olivia followed behind the pair of them, realizing with chagrin that she would have been better served letting Kieran stay with them in California. On his turf, already Olivia felt at a disadvantage. And she hadn’t missed Kieran’s poleaxed look when he saw her daughter’s eye color. It was unusual to say the least. And a dead giveaway when it came to parentage.
Behind the massive house stood an immaculate barn with adjoining stables. Inside the latter, the smell of hay mingled not unpleasantly with the odor of warm horseflesh.
Kieran led Cammie past the stalls of mighty stallions to an enclosure where a pretty brown-and-white pony stood contentedly munching hay. He handed Cammie a few apple chunks from a nearby bin. “Hold out your hand with the fingers flat, like this.”
She obeyed instantly, her small face alight with glee as the pony approached cautiously and scooped up the food with a delicate swipe of its lips. “Mommy, look,” she cried. “It likes me.”
Kieran put a hand on her shoulder. “Her name is Sunshine, and you can ride her as long as you’re here.”
“Now?” Cammie asked, practically bouncing on her feet. “Please, Mommy.”
Over her head, the two adults’ gazes met, Olivia’s filled with frustration, Kieran’s bland. “Later,” Olivia said firmly. “We have plenty of time.”
She had been afraid that she would have to meet a phalanx of Kieran’s relatives while she was still rumpled and road weary, but he led them to a quiet, peaceful wing of the house where the windows were thrown open to embrace the warm, early summer breezes.
“This will be your room, Olivia.” Kieran paused to indicate a lovely suite decorated in shades of celadon and pale buttercup. “And through here…” He passed through a connecting door to another room clearly meant for a child. “This is yours, Cammie.”
Olivia saw her daughter’s eyes grow wide. The furnishings had been made to resemble a tree house, with the sleep space atop a small pedestal accessed by rope netting, which coincidentally made any possibility of falling out of bed harmless.
Cammie kicked off her shoes and scampered up the rope apron like the monkey she was. “Look at me,” she cried. “This is awesome. Thank you, Kieran.”
Soon she was oblivious to the adults as she explored the tree trunk bookcase, the two massive toy chests shaped like daisies and the enormous fish tank.
Olivia drew Kieran aside. “Are you insane?” she asked, her low whisper incredulous. “This must have cost a fortune. And for three nights? You can’t buy my compliance, Kieran. Nor hers.”
