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When he showed up at her door at five thirty, it would have been nice if she could have invited him in for a nice hot dinner...maybe wearing a cute top and a flirty above-the-knee skirt. Instead, he was about to see the disaster that was her day.
Balancing the baby on her hip, she shoved the hair from her face and opened the door. “Hey,” she said. “Did you get everything done you needed to do?”
He nodded, but he looked tired. “Yep. How’s my girl?”
Lila’s heart skipped a beat until she realized the teasing affection was directed at the baby.
James took Sybbie and nuzzled her nose with his. “How’s it hangin’, sweetheart?”
The Kavanagh men, one and all, were handsome, virile and completely charming. An eight-month-old baby didn’t stand a chance. Lila had spent an entire day playing the clown to keep her charge in a good mood. All James had to do was show up and the child was instantly mesmerized. Sigh...
“I was going to order takeout,” Lila said. “Would you like me to get enough for two?”
James nodded. “Sounds good. I’m easy to please. After you make that call, why don’t you gather what you and Sybbie need, and I’ll start carrying everything over to my place. I’ve cleared out the downstairs bedroom.”
Lila knew that the floor plan of James’s house was similar to hers. But he had turned his traditional dining room into an office. For a couple of nights, it would work as a nursery. Still, she felt guilty.
“It’s the off-season,” she said. “I’m sure your mom would give me a room up at the hotel.” The Silver Beeches Lodge was Silver Glen’s premier accommodation, where the rich and famous went to get away from it all and have their privacy protected. Located on top of the mountain, it commanded a spectacular view of the valley below. It was owned by the Kavanagh family and managed by James’s oldest brother, Liam, and his mother, Maeve Kavanagh.
“Of course she would. But it’s not necessary, Lila. I’m right next door.”
What he said made sense, but she was uneasy about the idea.
He saw her hesitation. His jaw firmed. “If you’re worried about you and me, don’t be. I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, I swear.”
Except be you. That was the tough part. She had learned to pretend James Kavanagh didn’t exist. The subterfuge would be impossible to maintain now. “I know you won’t,” she said defensively. She didn’t want him to think she was pining away for him.
“Okay, then. I’ll take the baby bed over and put it together. Call me when the food gets here.”
* * *
James wasn’t stupid. He knew Lila didn’t want his help, and he also knew she was antsy around him. Though they had ended their relationship long ago, the physical pull was still there. He sure as hell felt it.
If Lila had been faced with any crisis, he would have offered to assist, even if she turned him down. But in this instance, there was a baby involved. Lila might not want his help with her niece, but she was going to get it.
Knocking the crib together was no trouble at all. He barely even glanced at the instructions. He’d spent most of his adult life working with tools and lumber and varnish and paint. Maybe because he’d never known his father, he’d always been drawn to pursuits that were traditionally masculine. As if he could somehow make up for his male parent’s absence.
The patriarch of the Kavanagh family was the stuff of legend. James was the only brother who had no memory of him at all, though even Patrick’s recollections were hazy. Reggie Kavanagh had become obsessed with finding the lost silver mine that launched the family fortunes decades before.
Kavanagh wealth and influence had founded Silver Glen. The small town with its alpine feel and cozy charm drew visitors from all over the world. Careful planning and restriction had kept overbuilding under control.
Sadly, Reggie Kavanagh gave his life in pursuit of a pipe dream. He set out one day on yet another of his hunting expeditions—hunting for the lost mine—and never returned. After several years, the coroner issued a death certificate listing the deceased as “presumed dead,” but not knowing for sure had left its mark on each of the Kavanaghs in different ways.
James stood and stretched his back. The bed looked sturdy and shiny. He would let Lila deal with the sheets and stuff. Women had ideas about that kind of thing.
He cleaned up the leftover bits and pieces and carried the cardboard out to the recycle bin. It was dark now. The lights shining from Lila’s house cast a cozy glow across the space that separated their homes. Sometimes he wondered if he and Lila could have done anything differently to salvage their relationship. But in the end, he had concluded that they were simply too different.
They wanted vastly divergent things out of life. The gulf was so wide, neither of them had been able to see any room for compromise.
James hated failing at anything. Growing up with six brothers had honed his competitive instincts. But love wasn’t a sport. Sex? Maybe. Love? Not at all.
In his pocket, his cell phone dinged. He pulled it out.
Pizza’s here.
His stomach rumbled right on cue. Not bothering to lock his door, he loped across the side yard. He wasn’t in love with Lila anymore. He probably never was. But he was curiously pleased about the thought of having her close at hand again.
Did that make him a sick, complicated bastard? Perhaps. Still, there were worse addictions. Lila’s front door was unlocked, so he let himself in. Crime happened in Silver Glen, but it was rare. The community was tight-knit, and visitors tended to be movers and shakers who paid top dollar for lodging.
He found his two soon-to-be houseguests in Lila’s kitchen. Apparently, Lila had ordered a high chair in addition to the bed. Sybbie seemed to be enjoying her new perch.
Lila shoved the box across the table. “Help yourself. I bought plenty.”
It shouldn’t have surprised him that she remembered his favorite toppings. Lila Baxter was a detail person... Type A to the max, but in a lot of good ways. She was organized and energetic, and she had a knack for juggling several projects at once. It wasn’t her fault that life had tossed her the one ball she was likely to drop.
They ate quietly except for the baby’s gurgles and coos. He could hear a clock ticking in the other room.
To anyone looking in the window, they would appear to be an ordinary American family. Appearances could be deceiving.
When he couldn’t let the uncomfortable silence drag on a moment more, he stood up abruptly. “Why don’t I take Sybbie? That will make it easier for you to pack a bag.”
Lila nodded, her eyes not quite meeting his. “Sounds good. Thanks.”
James took the baby and left, his chest tight. At this rate, he and Lila were going to kill each other with politeness. It was a stupid, artificial situation. But the only alternatives he knew with her were hot, crazy sex and shouting matches. Neither of those was gonna fly right now, so kindness it was.
Four (#ulink_defeae41-0fda-57d0-832e-6d7c568f6f11)
Lila was still learning how to pack a diaper bag. The sheer amount of stuff a baby needed these days was incredible. She threw a few of her own things into a small carry-all and made one last sweep of the bedroom to be sure she hadn’t forgotten anything.
Walking into James’s house took all the courage she possessed. She paused in the foyer, hearing his footsteps upstairs and the rumble of his voice as he talked to the baby.
While man and child were occupied, she scoped out the new living arrangements. James had made amazing progress in such a short time frame. She knew he had a habit of using his spare bedroom for a dumping ground. But all the sports equipment and miscellany had been cleared away. The queen bed was neatly made and the small attached bathroom was spotless.
In the office, James had moved things out of the way to accommodate the crib. Lila put a sheet on the small mattress and smoothed the wrinkles from the soft cotton that was printed with gamboling monkeys and bananas. Already, she had decided not to shroud little Sybbie in everything pink. This was the twenty-first century. Her niece might grow up to be president one day.
James and Sybbie found her just as she was finishing up. She wrinkled her nose. “I think I read somewhere that you’re supposed to wash baby things before you use them the first time. But I don’t want to delay her bedtime.”
“It won’t matter for just one night. You can do a load of laundry tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Wow. This was never going to work if they couldn’t loosen up. The tension headache had started as soon as she walked into his house.
James’s phone dinged, signaling a text. When he pulled it out and looked at it, his face reddened.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, faintly alarmed by the look of consternation on his face.
“Nothing. Nothing at all. But I have a date tonight and I need to hit the road.”
She gaped at him before snapping her mouth shut and straightening her spine. “I’ll take Sybbie. Have fun.” The words felt like sandpaper in her throat. She took the baby from him, careful not to let her hands brush his.
“We’ll try not to disturb you when we come in.”
We? Lila felt the color drain from her cheeks. Her stomach felt funny...as if she had swallowed bad milk. “No problem. I’ll close our doors. You won’t bother us at all.”
* * *
James strode out of his own house like a felon fleeing the scene of a crime. He jumped in his car, turned the ignition hard enough to bend the key and peeled out of the driveway with a squeal of tires. Hell, hell, hell. Why had he ever suggested this asinine arrangement?
He’d completely forgotten he had a date with a beautiful woman tonight. A woman who had given strong hints that she was up for any kind of recreation he had in mind. There was absolutely no reason in the world for him to feel guilty about his social calendar.
Then why did the memory of Lila’s stricken expression make him feel like a complete ass?
During dinner and a movie, he told himself to forget about Sybbie and Lila. He’d offered them a temporary home while he knocked out a wall. No big deal.
Even though his companion for the evening was sweet and smart and probably nicer than he deserved, he could barely keep up with the conversation over drinks at his brother’s watering hole, The Silver Dollar Saloon. Fortunately, Dylan wasn’t in residence. James wasn’t in the mood to be razzed about anything, much less his attractive date.
Somehow, he felt as if he had cheated on two women, but the truth was, he hadn’t done anything dishonest at all. His righteous indignation prompted him to ask his date in for coffee. At his house.
But after two cups of decaf, when she made it clear she expected to be escorted upstairs, he created some lame excuse about having to get up early and took her home.
By the time he made it back, it was late. Late enough that Lila was probably, hopefully, asleep. He was cranky and horny and tired. And now he had to tiptoe around his own house.
He let himself in quietly and took his shoes off at the front door. Since he’d moved in half a dozen years ago, he had put a lot of TLC into the little house. Now there wasn’t a single stair that creaked, which hopefully meant he wouldn’t disturb his houseguest when he went up to his room.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet. He was wired. Maybe he could grab a beer and watch some TV with the sound turned down so as not to bother anybody. It was a good plan until he pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen and flipped on the light, practically mowing down Lila in the process and causing her to drop a glass of milk that shattered all over the floor.
“Good Lord.” He grabbed her arms to steady her. She was wearing a tank top and pajama pants, leaving her shoulders bare. He had forgotten how soft her skin was, how fragile her bones.
Lila jerked away from him, her eyes huge, her pupils dilated. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I wanted something to drink.”
“Don’t move. You’ll cut yourself.” Her feet were bare. He picked her up by the waist and set her on the counter. “Let me get this mess cleaned up.”
He felt Lila’s gaze on him as he grabbed a broom and a wet rag to deal with the floor. But she didn’t say a word. He was glad. There wasn’t a knife big enough to cut the tension in the room.
When he finished his task, he straightened and stared at her. “I owe you an apology,” he said gruffly.
“For what?”
“What I said earlier about being quiet when we came in. It was a cheap shot. In a battle you and I aren’t even fighting anymore.”
“So you didn’t sleep with her?”
James was pretty sure she didn’t mean to blurt that out. “No. I didn’t. We only just met.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
He sucked in a breath and watched Lila’s face turn red. This was why things were always going to be like a minefield between the two of them. The memories were combustible. Lila had moved into her new house on a Monday almost three and a half years ago. James had gone over to meet the new neighbor and offer his assistance. Two weeks later they were in bed together.
“Let’s not get sidetracked,” he said, wishing his throat wasn’t so damn dry. “I was trying to apologize.”
“Then why did you do it?”
Why, indeed? Lila’s blue eyes judged him and found him guilty...or so it seemed. He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to get any ideas. Or to think that my invitation was something more than it was.”
Her small smile was wry. “I didn’t. Believe me. We were pretty dreadful together. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“Not all of it was so terrible.” He saw in her eyes that she remembered the same things he did. The incredible sexual chemistry that made them crazy for each other.
“No,” she said quietly. “It wasn’t all bad. But we’re too smart to go down that road again. Aren’t we?”
That was the million-dollar question. Three years ago they had fought incessantly, almost from the beginning. He resented her crazy hours. She was angry that he didn’t understand her need to prove herself and pursue a promotion. James wanted to start a family before he turned thirty. Lila didn’t think she wanted to have children at all.
In the end, all the fabulous sex in the world couldn’t disguise the fact that they were oil and water. And both hardheaded, to boot.
After a few beats of silence, he cleared his throat. “Did the baby have any trouble going to sleep?”
Lila pulled her knees to her chest and linked her arms around her legs. “No, thank goodness. I actually called Mia for advice. She told me I should put Sybbie down awake and let her coo and squirm until she put herself to sleep. It worked. I couldn’t believe it, but it worked.”
Mia was James’s sister-in-law...Dylan’s wife. She and Lila had become friends three years ago, and fortunately, the friendship had survived James and Lila’s breakup.
It was no wonder the two women had bonded. They were both extremely smart and ambitious.
“You look tired,” he said impulsively.
“Another cheap shot?” Her expression was equal parts wary and defensive.
“Not at all. I suppose that was my way of saying I’m worried about you. This whole situation with your sister’s death can’t have been easy, even if you were estranged. You never told me much about your family when you and I were dating.”
It was Lila’s turn to shrug. “Not much to tell. My dad walked out when I was three. My mother married again and got pregnant right away. But she was a functioning alcoholic and my new stepfather was a recreational drug user, so we lived close to the poverty line. My half sister, Alicia, followed their example.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Alicia and I struggled through the typical sibling rivalries, but as we got older, I did well in school, and she didn’t. I think she may have had a learning disability.”
“So you had a way out of a bad situation, and she didn’t.”
“Yes. I’ve always wondered if I could have done more to help her.”
“People make their own choices, good or bad.”
“I know. Still, it made me sad.”
“And you didn’t know she had named you as Sybbie’s guardian?”
“Not a clue. I was completely shocked.”
“My guess is that she knew you were smart and successful and that she could trust you with the baby.”
“Maybe. Or I could have been the lesser of two evils. My mother is still living, but she has multiple health issues. She wouldn’t be able to handle a small child at her age and in her condition. My brother-in-law grew up in foster homes, so there’s no one on that side of the family.”
