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By three o’clock Alexandre was definitely tired. He rested his head on Matt’s shoulder and stopped talking.
“You all right, Alexandre?” he asked.
“I’m tired,” he said.
“He usually naps most days. I’ll take him back to the inn. It’s been wonderful. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. Thank you, Matt, for seeing it with us. I hope you enjoyed it as well,” she said, her eyes darting to his, then back to Alexandre.
“I’ll go back with you. This little guy isn’t going to be wanting to walk and he’s too heavy for you to carry all that way.” There was still time to get in a short climb. Preferably very steep and strenuous. Something to take his mind off the woman at his side.
“Thank you.”
The three of them headed for the inn. To a casual observer they probably looked like a young family, husband, wife and child. For a split second Matt felt a pang that it wasn’t so. Then reason returned. He was not looking to replace his family with another. He was not going to fall in love again. Life was too uncertain to risk everything by falling in love, having his life on edge awaiting another fateful outcome.
When they reached the veranda, Matt let Jeanne-Marie take Alexandre, who was almost asleep.
“Thank you,” she said again.
“No problem.”
He handed off the boy. When she went to their quarters, he took the stairs to his room.
Quickly changing into climbing clothes, he headed out.
She was talking to Rene when he descended. She looked up.
“Going for a climb? Isn’t it a bit late?”
“I’ll find a short climb, check out the view from another vantage point,” he said, and kept walking. He would drive himself to the point of exhaustion so he’d sleep. And he’d get his head on straight. He might find some physical attraction to the pretty innkeeper, but he wasn’t going there. She was a forever-after kind of woman, and he’d not risk his very soul again on ephemeral love.
Jeanne-Marie watched as he left, a spring in his step, his look anticipatory.
She brushed her fingertips across her lips, remembering their kiss. She’d pushed the thought away during the day, but now the memory returned. She had felt a pull of attraction that was as strong as any she’d ever had for Phillipe. Once when he’d leaned over her to say something, she’d thought he was going to kiss her again.
But she’d misread the situation. Matt had turned away and the moment had been lost. Not that she forgot it. Doing her best to keep her distance the rest of the day, she still felt an awareness that bordered on the edge of obsession. He was the perfect tall, dark and handsome man romance novels so loved. His body was honed to perfection. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but still had the ability to stir her heart.
“Which is foolishness,” she said aloud, to Rene’s confusion.
“Pardon?”
“Rien.” Shaking her head, she went to prepare a pitcher of lemonade and then to sit on the veranda. She’d enjoy the rest of the day no matter what! Alexandre would probably sleep till dinnertime, which was good, so he would keep awake for the fireworks. Softly she sighed as she looked across the beach to the sea. Spending the evening on the veranda and watching the pyrotechnics from the comfort of the inn was the perfect way to end the day. The fireworks were shot over the water, so the veranda offered a perfect vantage point. Since she had taken over running the inn, Jeanne-Marie had invited all her guests as well.
It was a nice tradition, she thought, and kept the memories of Phillipe alive.
It had taken a while, but now she knew she wouldn’t fall apart if she remembered happy times with him. More often than not, now she was angry at his taking foolish risks and leaving her and Alexandre behind. She knew her loss and his couldn’t be measured by how or why. Only the aching emptiness where love once flourished.
She felt restless, and sitting still had all sorts of thoughts crowding her mind. Ones she didn’t want. Again her thoughts went to Matthieu Sommer.
This had to stop.
She popped in to tell Rene she was going for a walk and would be back soon.
Stepping off onto the sand, Jeanne-Marie took off her sandals and looped them through her fingers, heading directly to the sea and the packed sand where the water kissed the shore.
Then, as if unable to stop herself, she turned to walk toward Les Calanques. It wasn’t that she expected to run into Matt on his return, but if she did, then they could talk as they walked back to the inn.
She studied the crags and cliffs ahead of her. How Phillipe had loved them for the short climbs he could take on weekends. And she’d enjoyed spending time with his grandfather while they waited for him to return.
Yesterday had been amazing. She’d actually climbed a cliff. Granted, it wasn’t very high or steep, but it was more than she’d ever done before. And Alexandre had loved it. He’d talked about it all last night. And had regaled Pierre today when they were watching the parade.
She knew Alexandre wanted to climb mountains one day. She hoped he’d outgrow the idea. But if not, could she stop him? She didn’t want to coddle him. But the thought of him scaling a sheer face of rock had her almost in a panic. She wanted him to be proud of his father. Yet she didn’t want him to necessarily follow entirely in Phillipe’s footsteps.
By the time she reached the rocky area that led to the base of the cliffs, Jeanne-Marie knew she had to turn around. She needed to be home when Alexandre awoke. Just as she was about to turn, she saw Matt in the distance, gazing out to the sea. She stopped. Her inclination was to continue until she reached him. But he looked so intent, she didn’t know if she should intrude.
She watched for a long time. Giving into temptation, she scrambled over the rocks and found the faint path at the base of the cliffs. Following it, she would reach him in no time. Then what would she say?
He saw her and turned to walk toward her.
“Out for a walk?” he asked when he was close enough to be heard.
“Alexandre’s sleeping, so I thought I’d have a bit of time to myself.”
“Ah, then I’ll leave you to your walk.”
“No. That’s okay. I’m ready to head back. You looked like you were lost in thought gazing out at the sea.”
“I was thinking about sailing around the world.”
“Oh, wow, that’s ambitious. I didn’t know you sailed.”
“A totally unrealistic thought since I’ve never sailed by myself. I think I’d like a competent crew and big boat that could handle anything the sea throws at us. Then maybe.”
“Have you done any long distance sailing?”
“Around the Med a few summers ago as part of a crew. But my father was living then and in charge of the winery. Now, it falls primarily to me. The appeal of being on the water would be the total lack of communication. And that’s unreal—decisions have to be made, plans implemented.”
“So work up to a sabbatical like professors have,” she said, falling into step with him.
“Hmm. In the meantime, climbing’s a strong leader for most desired escape.”
She laughed. “What happened to quiet, safe hobbies like stamp collecting or photography?” She felt almost giddy around him.
He tilted his head slightly. “I might consider taking a picture from the top of a climb.”
“If the camera didn’t get banged up on the way.”
“Never happen.”
“Have you ever fallen?” she asked.
“Slipped a few times. No harm done.”
“That’s a blessing.”
“Not all climbers fall,” he said.
“I know that. But there have to be less scary hobbies.”
“Sure, but what could compare?”
“Travel, for one.”
“Where would you like to travel?” he asked.
“London,” she answered promptly.
“And what’s there?”
“Everything. From Westminster Abbey to the London Eye.”
“Would you be brave enough to ride in it?” he asked.
“Hey, I’m adventuresome. I came to France from America, didn’t I? I climbed a cliff yesterday. I imagine the view from the top of the Eye would be spectacular.”
“Probably. The view from the top of the cliffs is spectacular. I’d hardly call what you scaled yesterday a cliff.”
The teasing tone in his voice startled her. She looked at him suspiciously.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“No.” But his lips twitched.
She remembered the grin he’d given her yesterday when she’d complained about the strain on her arms and legs. It would be worth being mocked to see him laugh.
The walk back took far less time than she expected. Alexandre was playing on the veranda and jumped up to run to her when he saw her.
“I’d like to take you and your son to dinner,” Matt said just before the child reached them.
“What? You don’t have to take us to dinner,” she said quickly. Her interest couldn’t be that blatant, could it?
“If you knew me better, you’d know I rarely do things I don’t wish to. It would be a … a good ending to the day,” Matt said as if choosing his words carefully.
“Mama, where were you? Rene said you’d be back but you’ve been gone a long time,” Alexandre said when he reached her.
“I went for a walk. I thought you’d still be asleep. Now I’m back. Matt asked to take us out to dinner. Won’t that be fun?”
“Shall we leave in about a half hour? That’ll give me time to clean up a bit.”
Jeanne-Marie nodded. She wanted to clean up a bit herself.
Once in her room, she debated what to wear. She loved the way her blue dress fit and showed off her figure. But was it too much when she’d been wearing khakis all day? Maybe the pink top, which gave color to her cheeks. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long moment. Who was that staring back? A widow living without her husband. A mother who loved her son.
But, just maybe, a woman on the brink of something different. Would it be wonderful or end up leaving her mourning what could never be? Funny, she hadn’t thought about making a life with any other man. She’d loved Phillipe. She was trying to make her life what she thought he would have wanted. But he was gone. Maybe it was time to look for other ways to spend the future. Alexandre wouldn’t be with her forever. He would grow up, go off to college and marry. He could live on another continent as she did, so far from where she grew up.
What would the years after that hold?
Right now was not the time to grow philosophical.
She chose the pink top to go with the khaki slacks. She would wear nicer shoes. Every restaurant would be mobbed because of the holiday. Casual was the dress of the day.
The excitement shining in her eyes couldn’t be ignored. Was she ready for this?
“Do you like growing grapes and making wine?” Jeanne-Marie asked once they were finally seated in Le Chat Noir. The wait had seemed interminable, with Alexandre complaining every two minutes he was hungry. Most of the people waiting, however, had been in high spirits. The festive air permeated the village. Matt hadn’t minded the wait. For the first time in a long while he felt connected with others.
“Is that something you always wanted to do?” she added.
“Ever since I was a kid, I knew this was my role in life. I enjoy it. And when I can take a vacation, it seems the best part is returning home. I can’t imagine anything else I’d rather do. I suspect you never yearned to be an innkeeper.” He thought of the acres of vineyards, the constant worry about the weather or pests. The heavy, laden vines just before harvest, the purple grapes looking almost frosted. He missed being there.
She laughed. Matt was struck again by the sound of her laughter. He let his gaze settle on her for a moment. She looked lovely tonight with color in her cheeks and a sparkle in her eyes. He would like to hear that laughter more. He suspected that she didn’t laugh nearly enough.
“Not at all. Before I met Phillipe, I planned to be an art historian, maybe teach. I enjoyed my classes at university and wanted to have others find the same delight in studying paintings by the masters. But once I fell in love, all I wanted was a family and a happy life. Strange how things worked out. Phillipe hadn’t wanted to run the inn, but refused to sell it when his grandfather died. Even his mother suggested selling and it had been her childhood home. I never expected to own it myself and run it. Still, look how fortunate I am.”
“Indeed.” Making the best of the situation. Which he struggled to do as well.
After their order had been taken, he leaned back as Alexandre chattered away, talking about his day, the rides he’d gone on and the fact he’d seen all the parade since Matt had held him so high.
“Definitely a wonderful thing,” Jeanne-Marie said, wishing Phillipe had had more time with his son. Alexandre had been a baby when he died. He’d never known the joy of his conversation, his enchantment with life. And Alexandre would never know his father except by what Jeanne-Marie and his grandparents told him.
Matt leaned forward slightly. “No time for sadness. This is a celebration.”
She looked up. “I’m sorry, I was thinking about his father and how much he missed. I really appreciate your coming today. Look how much he liked it.”
Matt looked at Alexandre. “My son was that age when he was killed. Think of all he missed.”
“Oh, you’re right, this is not a time to grow melancholy. Thank you for inviting us to dinner. Afterward, we’ll head back, grab a good seat on the veranda and watch the fireworks. They are the highlight of the day for me. You’ll love them.”
Matt pushed away thoughts of another woman, another fete, and focused on the woman with him tonight. One evening didn’t mean he’d forgotten his family any more than Jeanne-Marie had forgotten hers. They were both alive. Life was meant for the living.
Several of the guests at the inn were seated on the veranda by the time Jeanne-Marie, Matt and Alexandre returned. A few chairs were empty, which she asked him to stake out for them while she went to get the cookies and cakes she’d prepared earlier in the week for just this occasion. Soon everyone on the veranda was sipping iced lemonade and munching on the desserts.
The bursting of colorful fireworks was the perfect ending to the celebration. Jeanne-Marie couldn’t remember a happier day since Phillipe died. She was growing more comfortable around Matt and appreciated his attention to her son. He must have been a great father to his own child. Would Phillipe have been as attentive and involved? He’d worked long hours, and gone climbing every chance he got. He hadn’t curtailed his activities after Alexandre had been born, but as an infant, he wouldn’t have been much company to his father. As he’d grown older, would Phillipe have included him?
No sense worrying about what might have been. Phillipe was gone. Never to return. And Matt? He was here today. Beyond that, she didn’t care to look.
CHAPTER SIX (#u9f3b84d5-db2d-5dc4-83ca-58d437defd86)
JEANNE-MARIE put Alexandre to bed, but she felt too restless and keyed up to sit quietly after the fireworks. She went back to the common area, straightening cushions and pillows here and there. Rene had taken off and she’d close up in another hour or so. Several of the guests had gone back to the village to enjoy dancing at one or two of the places that offered a band.
Wandering out onto the veranda a few minutes later, she was surprised to see Matt still sitting there. Feeling her heart lurch a bit, she went to join him.
