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Kai wasn’t about to let him scuttle her or get her fired. She glared up at him. “And what are you going to do about me being here?” Standing tensely, her fingers curved into her palms, her adrenaline flowing through her, she saw his eyes soften for a moment. And then that implacable hardness returned. She hated the game face an operator wore!
“If Talon hired you, I’m not getting in the way of his choices.”
Kai didn’t believe him. Her nostrils flared. “You’re a good liar, Gil. I have no reason to trust you.” She saw him take a step back, rage in his face.
“I’m good for my word, Kai. If Holt hired you, then I’m okay with it.”
Kai saw what she thought was hurt in his expression for a moment. Gil was struggling to get that game face back into place, but her sharp words were like a slap to his face and he was reeling from it. “You’d better be,” she muttered. Jamming her finger down at the wooden floor between them, she said, “I got this job fairly. And, unlike you, I don’t run.”
Gil lifted his lips away from his clenched teeth. He stared grimly at her. “Go about your business,” he snapped. “Has anyone given you a tour of the ranch yet?”
Breathing hard, Kai rasped, “No.”
“I’ll get Cass to do it,” he snarled over his shoulder as he turned and walked away.
Kai’s knees felt like jelly. She heard the hard thunk of his boots on the floor of the barn and then caught sight of him as he walked with determination down the slope toward the main ranch house.
Dammit! Sagging against the locker, she pressed her hands to her face, trying to steady her breathing. Of all the things that life could throw at her, she never thought she’d see Gil again! He’d disappeared like the black ops soldier he was.
Hands falling from her face, Kai knew she had to get herself together. Her heart stopped racing and her breathing began to settle down. God, she had to sit at the family dinner table with that bastard! How far away could she get from him? Her mind raced with terrible possibilities. Gil was the foreman. He could make her look bad. And if she did, Talon Holt would fire her and she’d have no job.
Slowly putting the rest of her gear in her locker, Kai closed it, resting her head against the metal door. Should she tell someone? Talon Holt? This was so messy. Would Gil be mature about it? Let bygones be bygones? Not pick at her? Make her life a daily, miserable existence?
Standing, she pulled the baseball cap from her back pocket and settled it on her head. Right now, Kai wished she had a friend she could confide in. Just to be able to talk this out because it helped her to figure out what to do. Kai didn’t want to feel drawn to Gil. But she was, dammit. Her stupid heart was pining away for him even now! She remembered his kisses, his strong arms around her, cherishing her as if she were the most precious being on the face of the earth.
Guilt warred within Kai. Sam, her husband, had been an operator who couldn’t remove his game face. He never told her how he felt. He never cried. Sam hated to see her cry and would always plead with her to stop because it tore him up so much. Even though she loved Sam, Kai had never been able to get past those horrifically tough walls surrounding him. Sam never let her in. There was only one-way intimacy in their relationship, and she felt as if she were slowly dying emotionally, never fed by Sam in return.
Kai looked around. Just the soft snort of the few horses in the box stalls made her feel better. The scent of alfalfa hay was like perfume to her nostrils. She wished she could erase those five days with Gil. Until he showed up at her small barracks room, she had thought he was just like Sam: implacable. Unreachable. But he hadn’t been. She’d seen the devastation in his face, his eyes red rimmed, seen the rawness, the terrible grief over his younger brother’s death hours before. He had met her in the lobby and told her he needed to talk with her. She’d taken him up to her room to speak in privacy.
Talk had turned into an unexpected arousal when Kai had spontaneously kissed him in her room. That kiss had thrown them into each other’s arms. To this day, Kai couldn’t figure out why she’d agreed to go with Gil to the conjugal building on base reserved for married couples. He was black ops, so he knew how to work the system to utilize the facility. Gil had gotten them a large, beautiful suite with a real bed.
Kai drew in a ragged breath. She would never forget the tears falling down his stubbled cheeks, the utter vulnerability in his eyes as he stood in her room allowing his grief to surface. And when she’d come into his arms and kissed him, everything changed in a heartbeat. She thought the kiss was to soften his grief over his brother’s death. Oh, she’d always thought he was a ruggedly handsome man. Every woman who laid eyes on Gil stared longingly at him, lust and interest in their eyes.
He wasn’t pretty-boy handsome at all. Just the opposite—a kind of rough-hewn face, intelligent, hard blue eyes that missed nothing. His nose was hawkish, mouth wide, his lower lip fuller than his upper one. It was his square face and that granite-looking chin that Kai should have read differently.
Worse, she had no idea that Gil was drawn to her until she’d kissed him. And then she corrected herself: all he’d really wanted was a woman, any woman, to bury his grief in. She was just a convenient receptacle, was all. Nothing more. Gil had proved that by walking out of her life after five days and never contacting her again.
Why did she want to cry, then? Why did she still feel such gutting loss over his running out on her? Before, when she was married, Gil was the epitome of decorum around her. He never once flirted with her or indicated in any fashion that he was drawn to her.
Then why had he sought her out after handing off his brother’s body to the morgue on base? Hell, Hanford had all kinds of women groupies on base. Every operator did. Women just fell over themselves, salivating to get one of those badass warriors in bed with them. Kai had never been like that. In fact, she didn’t like operators precisely because of their cocky arrogance, the alpha-male attitude dripping off them like honey. Sam had to court her a full nine months while they were stationed at Bagram before he’d ever gotten her to fall in love with him.
He was the light brother to Gil’s dark brother. Sam had blond hair, green eyes and a killer smile that made her melt. Gil had black hair, blue eyes and was the quiet one who said little. Sam was always a big, immature kid if he could get away with it while Gil was always the mature, responsible adult. Sam always smiled. Gil rarely smiled. Sam would play jokes. Gil never did.
It bothered her to this day why Gil had come to her barracks, asking for her. She knew he had other women on base and used them. But it was a two-way street and Kai didn’t draw a judgment on it. Whether there was a war going on or not, men and women had libidos, and that was that.
She wandered down the breezeway, checking the horses in the box stalls. They were friendly, big quarter horse types, coming to the front and thrusting their soft, velvety noses between the iron bars or the door to try to smell or touch her outstretched fingers. She called to each one, seeing their name carved on the front of their stall. The big gray horse, she thought, was probably half Thoroughbred and half quarter horse. All of them were geldings. There was a horse for each of the wranglers, including Talon Holt.
Worrying her lower lip, Kai walked out the other end of the breezeway. Down below the gravel slope were five pipe corrals of varying sizes. They were in terrible shape. The other barn, painted green, was about one-third smaller than the red one where she stood. The second barn sat at the opposite end of all the corrals, facing her. The Triple H was a big ranch. The doors to the green barn were slid shut. Probably all the equipment needed to run the ranch was parked in there. It would be her new home.
“Hey,” Cass called, striding down the passageway toward her. “Gil asked me to show you around. You up for the five-cent tour, Kai?”
Kai smiled, liking easygoing Cass. His blond hair was thick and slightly wavy, hanging around his ears and nape, making him look like a scruffy dog. But he was clean shaven, and even though he was damned tall, muscular and powerful to her, his perennial smile made her feel better. “Sure. Can you spare the time?”
Cass pulled his black baseball cap out of his back pocket and pulled it on. “Yeah, no problem. I’ve got dinner in the oven, got the apple pies out to cool and presently have six huge Idaho spuds baking in the oven. I’m all caught up.”
“You really do like to cook?” she asked, falling into step as he cut his stride for her, leading her down the slope toward the pipe corrals.
“Yeah, love it.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Hmm,” he murmured, rubbing his shaven jaw, “about as long as Gil. I’d say three months.”
“How did you get a job here, Cass?”
“Well,” he said, giving her a wink, “I knew Talon from our days as operators. He was a SEAL and I was in Special Forces, but we often worked together out in the field in Afghanistan. He saved my ass a couple of times, and I saved his. Of course, he had his combat assault dog, Zeke, so he was double-barrel trouble to the enemy.”
Kai warmed to the man. “My run-ins with spec ops guys was like running into you,” she admitted, giving him a shy smile. “I always like the Special Forces A-teams. They were really friendly and outgoing compared to the Delta guys and the SEALs.”
Cass drawled, giving her a wink, “Our jobs were a lot different from SEALs and Delta Force types. We speak the language, go into a village, try getting them some organization, help, education and medical support. We aren’t the game-face types like Gil and Talon are. Although—” he brightened “—Talon is really working on opening up. I think a lot has to do with him being recently married to Cat. You’ll meet her in about an hour,” he said, looking at his watch. “The guy’s completely smitten by her. Talk about a SEAL biting the dust,” he said, and chuckled. “All good, though. Talon’s learning to lighten up, be a little more accessible than SEALs usually are. Love is a good thing, you know?”
Kai nodded, feeling an ache center in her heart. She thought she knew what love was with Sam Morrison. But she hit a brick wall with her husband emotionally, and she was with him only three months out of every year of the three years they were married. If he wasn’t in direct combat for six months, he was out training somewhere on the globe for another three months. And then, they had three months with each other. It had never been enough for her. “I was married once,” she admitted to Cass. He was someone who inspired immediate trust. And she liked his openness and warmth. He was like sunshine. Gil was like a damned dark moon. So closed up. Full of secrets. Full of toxic emotions he’d never unloaded, just like Sam. Why couldn’t she have been drawn to someone like Cass? He was an open book in comparison.
“You said you were in the Army,” Cass said. “Are you divorced?” And then he held up his hands as he slowed to a stop at the first pipe-rail corral. “Hey, if I’m getting too personal or nosey, just tell me it’s none of my business.”
Kai nodded. She moved her fingers lightly across the rust on the top pipe rail. It flaked off, dropping on her boots below. “I don’t mind confiding in you,” she said, looking up at him. He was now serious and she felt his full attention on her. “I was married three years to Sam Morrison. He was a Delta Force sergeant.” Her voice got a little choked up. “He was killed in a firefight in Afghanistan.” She saw his eyes go kind with sympathy. Shrugging a little, she said, “For the most part, I’m over it.”
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, “I’m very sorry, Kai. That’s rough.”
“Yeah...it was for a while,” she admitted, needing his kindness. After hitting a wall with Hanford, some of her hurt and fear dissolved beneath Cass’s warm care. Now Kai saw why Sandy Holt was responding so well. Cass was sunlight and he just seemed to have a knack for penetrating her darkness, her grief and pain. She looked up at him. “Were you a medic?”
“Yeah,” he said wryly, removing his hand. “I was a great mechanic in my team, which was one of my skills, but my official MOS was as an 18 Delta combat corpsman.”
“You have a nice bedside manner,” Kai admitted.
“I’d like to think I do,” Cass said. He gestured to the corrals. “Let me give you an idea of our work week. Every Monday morning we sit down in the kitchen with Gil and Talon. They hand out our assignments for the week. That way, everyone stays on the same page and we’re like a well-oiled, coordinated team. I think next week Gil is looking to start wire brushing this rusted pipe. Once the rust is removed, we’ll move on to a metal paint to coat it and then a second coat over it.”
Wrinkling her nose, Kai said, “I sure hope I’m sent to fix machinery,” and she grinned. Wire brushing was labor intensive on the wrangler’s part. It was hard on shoulders, joints, arms and hands. She heard Cass chuckle.
“I’ll bet you are. Come on, let’s go over to the green barn. That’s where all the equipment is kept. None of it is working, by the way.”
Rubbing her hands together, Kai grinned. “Good, that means Talon will let me do what I’m best at—being a mechanic.”
“Gil’s the one who decides,” Cass said, walking her around one corral.
“Once he gives out assignments, can you get him to change his mind?”
Cass shrugged. “He’s a pretty set dude. Even Talon can’t get him to do some things. But, hey, he’s the foreman for a reason. Right? And he came from a big Montana ranch near Billings, so he knows what he’s doing.”
There was so little Kai knew about Gil. Oh, she knew his body, but God, they didn’t talk about much during those five incredible lust-filled days. They had come together like two lost souls, hurting, full of grief, lonely and needing love. Maybe not love, Kai self-corrected. Maybe just horny as hell after no sex for a year after Sam’s death. And she knew for men, at least most of them, when they had sex, it did not equal emotion or love, like it did for a woman. Each gender came to the bedroom with different perspectives, expectations and realities, and suffered from different outcomes. That’s why Gil had walked away. For him, it was just sex. Relieving himself. For her, it was an entirely different experience; there were emotions and heart involved with him that she’d never realized until that moment. Kai wondered if she lived a life with blinders on all the time.
She pulled herself out of her rumination as Cass pushed hard and the huge hanging door grudgingly slid open. He walked in and turned on the overhead lights. What she saw was farm and ranch equipment with a lot of dust on it.
“Uh-oh,” Cass teased, leaning against the door opening, arms across his massive chest. “I see that look in your eye. Mechanics get a gleam that’s unmistakable. I’ll bet you’re just dying to get your hands on these metal monsters.” He chuckled, his grin widening.
She walked over to the John Deere tractor. All four tires were flat. Kai had a keen eye and swept over it from stem to stern. “You’re right,” she confessed with a laugh. Cass made a lot of her fear over what Gil might do to get rid of her dissolve. Once she started to work on these machines and showed Talon how quick and good she was, it wouldn’t matter what Gil said. Talon would keep her over any protests he made.
Remembering Gil’s face, that hurt that had crossed it when she’d accused him of trying to get rid of her, made Kai hesitate in her cruel judgment of him. He had always been a man of impeccable morals and values when she knew him. He was always respectful toward her, protective when Sam was away on a special mission and she was stationed at Bagram. If Gil and the rest of his team came in for a brief R & R between missions, he would always come to see her. Ask how she was. Did she need anything? That was how Delta brothers took care of their own. Not that many wives of a Delta operator were at Bagram. She was the only one.
Gil would escort her to the chow hall; they’d eat, talk about Sam and herself. Gil never once talked about himself. Kai had thought he was a closed book to the outside world. She was sure within the Delta Force brotherhood, he was much more open and forthcoming. Never once did Gil let on he was attracted to her. And then, Kai grimaced, Gil had clearly shown her, without a doubt, that all he wanted from her was sex. Instead of a one-night stand, it had developed into a five-night stand. How could she have been so blind? So stupid?
“Hey,” Cass called from the door, “I need to get back to the house. About time to set the table and start getting stuff ready for our 1800 chow hall.”
She grinned, liking his dropping into military lingo. “Everything in the kitchen smelled so good when I first arrived, I can hardly wait to eat tonight.”
Cass let his arms fall to his sides. “Don’t come late. It’s a food fight every night,” he warned her with a wicked grin.
She laughed, knowing he was teasing her. Cass was so easy to read in comparison to Gil. Moving between the hay baler and the tractor, and checking out the horse and cattle trailers, Kai knew she had her work cut out for her. Every tire would have to be replaced. That was a lot of money. Pulling out her notepad and pen, she started making notes on each machine. Moving between them, Kai got lost in the needs of each one. When she looked up later, she saw a tall, very well-built, black-haired woman coming her way. She was wearing jeans, a red long-sleeved tee and cowboy boots. Kai went out to the front of the barn to greet her.
“Hi,” Kai said, holding out her hand, “I’m Kai Tiernan.”
“Cat Holt. What are you up to?” she said, and shook her hand.
“Just taking notes,” Kai said, gesturing toward the inner barn. She liked the tall woman. She had slightly curled black hair that lay like a cloak around her proud shoulders. It was Cat’s blue eyes, large and sparkling with life, that drew Kai. “Are you just getting home from the hospital?”
Cat moved into the barn with her. “Yes.” She rubbed her long, slender hands. “It’s Friday. I have the whole weekend at the ranch and I can hardly wait to throw my leg over my horse and start riding some fence.” She grinned over at Kai. “Maybe you’d like to join me? Get a feel for the rest of our ranch?”
“I’d love to,” Kai said eagerly. There was an earthy warmth to Cat Holt and her smile was often, her eyes also kind looking, like Cass’s eyes. But then, they were both medical people and they couldn’t be in a service field career like that without a lot of compassion in them.
“Cass said that he’d lost you to the depths of the green barn,” Cat told her, walking among the equipment. “He said you had that gleam in your eye.”
Chuckling, Kai said, “Guilty as charged. My hands are positively itching to get started on getting these beasts up and running.”
“Well,” Cat warned, sliding her fingers over the John Deere tractor’s fender and gathering lots of dust on them, “our budget can’t handle all the repairs. I’m sure Gil will give you the go-ahead, most likely, on the tractor, because we really need it in service now.”
“I grew up on a ranch and I helped my dad with the accounting books,” Kai told her as they left the barn. “It’s a balancing act, for sure.”
Cat nodded. She pushed the large door shut and locked it. “Monday morning at nine o’clock, there’s a meeting in our kitchen. Cass always makes cinnamon rolls, which draws every wrangler on the ranch.” She laughed. “After everyone gets their quota of cinnamon rolls, Talon and Gil will go over the week’s assignments.”
“I love cinnamon rolls. Nothing like a hot one coming out of the oven. It sounds like you’re really organized.” She walked down the slope with Cat. Above them the sun was in the western blue sky. It was beautiful here and Kai was so grateful to have landed a job at this ranch. If only Gil weren’t here. And every night, she’d have to sit at the same table and eat with him. Her stomach tightened. Kai was already losing her appetite. When Gil put on that game face, he was a tough hombre and nobody cracked that steel facade of his. No one. Except her. During those nights of endless pleasure with him. Then, she’d seen the real man beneath it, and he had taken her breath away.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_571c3874-5891-524f-8e36-29c52ce43198)
THE LAST PLACE Gil wanted to be at dinner was with the Holt family. He’d always looked forward to it up until tonight. Dammit, Kai was here. He was still reeling from meeting her in the barn earlier. The family sat down, Sandy at the head of the table, Cass to her right, Kai opposite him and, thank God, Talon and Cat and himself at the other end of the long trestle table. It could easily seat fourteen people for the holidays.
Gil had breathed a deep sigh of relief when Cass asked Kai to sit opposite him. Actually, it had been Sandy who requested her presence there, a good sign she liked Kai. Who wouldn’t? There was some quiet table talk, some laughter and smiles, but Gil felt like hell. He stole a glance in Kai’s direction. His whole body tightened in memory of her in his arms. Jesus, he’d never forgotten those torrid five days with her. Not that he’d tried. The look on her face when she realized it was him was one of mixed emotions. He’d seen Kai’s shock, hurt and then anger come to her face. Kai could never hide how she felt. It was one of the many things that drew him to her. Unlike himself, who was so stove up that even Cass teased him about never smiling or being more robot than human.
Gil wanted to be close to Kai. Smell her scent. Touch her skin. He remembered all of her. Every scent, every small cry of pleasure, that husky voice of hers afterward, when they were both weak and sated with one another.
He passed the glazed carrots to Cat, who thanked him. Gil wasn’t sure who was more miserable right now: Kai or himself. But for different reasons.
When the thick slices of pot roast came his way, he took an ample amount. Working ten hours a day meant loading up on protein and carbs. The huge Idaho baked potato on his plate was slathered with cheese, crumbled bacon and heavy dollops of thick sour cream.
Earlier, everyone had gone to their respective rooms, taken turns in the bathroom on the first floor, cleaning up, getting a shower and putting on a set of clean clothes before dining. Gil swore he could smell the scent of orange shampoo that Kai had used in her hair. Those thick auburn strands gleamed beneath the hurricane lamp chandelier that hung high above the long table. She looked beautiful in a pale pink sweater, a set of pale blue slacks and sensible leather shoes. The small pearl earrings adorned her delicate lobes, and he sharply remembered tasting, teasing and kissing each of them and her sensual reaction. Kai looked fragile and that hit Gil hard. The strained expression on her face was his fault. Damn, he hadn’t handled that meeting today worth shit. He hadn’t meant to get angry at her, but it hurt when she accused him of running. Well, he had. But she didn’t know the rest of the story.
Gil covertly watched her as she passed Talon a bowl of thick brown gravy, which he poured across the slabs of beef. Kai was shy, but she’d always been that way. Her mouth stirred him, and Gil inwardly groaned. Just the dainty way she ate, that full mouth of hers lush with promise, sent streaks of heat into his lower body. Harshly, he told himself there was no way to rebuild the broken bridge that loomed like the Grand Canyon between them. She saw him as an irresponsible bastard who had taken advantage of her and given nothing in return except to disappear out of her life. Dammit.
Sandy Holt gave Kai a gentle look as she nibbled haphazardly at the food Cass had put on her plate. “Kai? Tell us about your family. Where do they live?”
Kai blotted her mouth with the pink linen napkin and told them. She looked at all of them as she spoke and tried to avoid Gil’s stormy, narrowed look, her voice faltering slightly.
“And how many in your family?” Sandy inquired.
“I have one older brother, Steve.”
“Did he go into the military like you?”
Kai shook her head. “No, he loved ranching and Dad wanted Steve to stay there to teach him how to run it.”
“Well,” Sandy said, patting her arm in a motherly fashion, “you served your country and we’re all grateful for your service. You need to know that.”
Gil saw a faint blush touch Kai’s sloped cheeks. The ache in his chest intensified. Even though she did a man’s job, she was excruciatingly feminine. Oh, he knew she wore her hair short, but hell, with the heat in Afghanistan, over a hundred degrees every day in the summer, he didn’t blame her. There was a wishful part of him that wondered what her auburn hair that glinted with gold and burgundy beneath the lamplight would feel like as he sifted his fingers through those strands once more. He remembered those silky textures and he felt himself hardening. Not what he wanted at a dinner table.
The woman had always made him want her from the moment Sam had introduced Kai proudly to him. It was the darkest, deepest secret he’d kept from his best friend. And Gil would never have told Sam that he wanted Kai for his own. That just wasn’t going to happen. He’d loved Sam like a brother and they’d gone through many years as operators, saving one another’s ass. Even today, when he thought of Sam, he missed him. And he was glad he’d never given one hint of how much he desired Kai. Neither of them knew his secret.
“Gil?”
He looked up, jerking out of his dark, heated thoughts. Sandy smiled sweetly at him. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were going to take Kai around our ranch tomorrow. You know? Ride the fence line? Let her get a feel for our place?”
“Oh,” Cat said enthusiastically, “I had already asked Kai if she’d go for a ride tomorrow morning with me.”
Gil felt relief. He wasn’t prepared to spend quality time with Kai. Not yet. “That’s fine, Cat,” he told her. “I got a lot to do Saturday morning.” Gil glanced up to see the look in Kai’s large gray eyes. She was relieved, too. Obviously, she wanted nothing to do with him. His heart twinged with guilt. And gut-wrenching regret.
Zeke whined. He lay on his doggie bed in the living room, his black ears perked up, eyes shining hopefully at the group sitting at the table.
Kai turned and looked at the beautiful seventy-pound male dog. She looked over at Talon, who was scowling in Zeke’s direction. “Is he begging?”
Grumping, Talon said, “Yes. My wife made the mistake of giving him a piece of her sandwich at noon one day here at the table and he’s never forgotten it. So now—” Talon gave his wife a wry look “—Zeke sits on his bed and whines dramatically from the living room, hoping to snag someone who has a soft heart who will give him some food.”
Cat smiled and gave her husband a teasing look. “I don’t know why you don’t let us spoil Zeke. You said yourself he’s been happy since coming home. And so are you, hmm?”
Talon nodded. “You make me happy. Zeke is on his own.”
The table rolled with chuckles.
“I know what will get Zeke’s attention,” Cass said. “Get him a playmate.”
