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Had he changed much? As a scared eight-year-old, she’d seen Ben as a father, not a brother. It wasn’t until years later that she’d realized how young he’d been. Perhaps to him, being taken from their home had been a blessing. Perhaps he wanted nothing more than to put that part of his life behind him. If so, did Raven want to know? She’d been disappointed so many times in her life. Each time had hurt just a little more. Now she wondered if it would be better to forget the idea of reconciliation with her brother. Leave things as they had been so many years ago when she was too young to know that knights in shining armor were as tarnished as the rest of the world.
But it was too late to back out. She was here. All she had to do was work up the courage to reach for what she so desperately wanted—family.
Muscles tense with anxiety, she picked up the phone and dialed the number. Then closed her eyes as the phone rang. Once. Twice.
“Grace Christian Church, Penny speaking. May I help you?”
Raven swallowed hard and forced words past the fear in her throat. “Yes, I was wondering if Pastor Ben Avery is in today.”
“He is. Would you like to speak with him?”
“No. Well, yes, but I’d prefer to speak to him in person.”
“I’m sorry. His schedule is full. Would you like me to take a message?”
“Will you deliver it to him now? It’s very important.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Tell him Raven called. Tell him I’m on my way to the church.”
“I—”
“Thank you.” Raven hung up, grabbed a sweater from the closet, slid her feet into clogs and walked out the door.
She didn’t think, didn’t plan. What good would it do? Life had a way of happening in exactly the way it was meant to. No matter how hard one fought against it.
The church parking lot was nearly empty, the man standing in the center even more noticeable because of it. Faded blue jeans, a dark sweatshirt, sandy hair just a bit long, he watched Raven’s car as she parked near the church. Watched as she got out. Even from a distance she could see his eyes—startling blue in a tan, handsome face.
And she knew. Knew before he took the first step, before he sprinted across the area that separated them. Ben. Older, broader. A man now, not a boy, but still it was Ben running toward her, pulling her into his arms. The embrace so familiar, yet completely different.
“Raven.” No shout of joy. Just a whisper against her hair.
She pressed her cheek against the thud of Ben’s heart, wrapping her arms around his waist, pretending for just a moment that twenty years didn’t separate them.
They stood that way for several minutes. Then Ben pulled back, loosening his hold but not letting go. “Do you know how long I’ve been praying for this?”
His gaze skimmed her face, her hair, the flowing dress she wore. “You’re all grown up. And beautiful.”
“Not beautiful.”
“Yes, beautiful. Come inside. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
And as easily as that, he accepted her.
Raven allowed herself to be led through the church hall and into an office. A slim blond woman looked up as they walked in, her green eyes narrowing as she caught sight of Ben’s arm draped across Raven’s shoulder.
“Penny, this is my sister, Raven.”
“Sister?” Penny’s face relaxed and she stood, her hand extended in greeting. “I had no idea you had a sister, Ben. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“A pleasure to meet you, too.”
“Are you in town for a visit?”
“I—”
“No third-degree today, Penny. I’m going to grab my things and head home. Can you call Jim Ross? See if he minds filling in on visitation today.”
“Of course.”
Ben nodded, then ushered Raven into a small room. “This is my office, such as it is.”
She imagined him sitting behind the old wood desk, his brow furrowed in concentration as he worked at the computer. Imagined him standing in front of a congregation, preaching, teaching, ministering. It fit.
Her brother the pastor.
“You’re smiling. What are you thinking?” He spoke as he grabbed a briefcase and led her back out of the office.
“That this fits you. The church. The office.” They stepped into the hall, and Raven leaned close. “Even the jealous receptionist.”
“Jealous? Penny?” He laughed. “She’s got bigger fish to fry. Last I heard she was dating a doctor. You still like pink lemonade?”
“It’s my favorite.”
“You’re in luck, then. I always keep a pitcher of it in the fridge. My house is right through those trees.”
Decorated in neutral tones, the small, one-level house didn’t seem to reflect anything about the owner. No photos. No knickknacks. Just clean white walls, a few tasteful prints and comfortable furniture.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”
Raven did as she was asked, easing down onto the sofa and trying hard to look relaxed. Ben was both brother and stranger to her. That made things awkward.
“You’re sad.” He handed her a tall glass of lemonade and sat beside her.
“A little. You’re not the big brother who gave me piggyback rides to the grocery store and bandaged my scraped knees.”
“I know. And you’re not the little girl with braids and ribbons. But we’re still siblings. Still family.”
“That’s why I came.”
“Then there’s nothing to be sad about.”
“We’re strangers, Ben. Not family.”
“Families are built. One day at a time. One experience at a time.”
“You seem so…accepting about this.”
“I guess I’m too happy for anything else. When I got your letters I thought—”
“Letters?” Raven felt the breath catch in her lungs.
“Six or seven years ago. You said you’d contact me if and when you were ready.”
“I didn’t write you.”
“I kept the letters. Come on, I’ll show you.” He led Raven down a short hall and into a room that was almost a replica of his office at the church. “Take a look.”
There were four letters, each dated more than six years ago. Each typewritten with Raven’s name scrawled across the bottom.
“I didn’t write these.”
“Sit down. You’re pale as a ghost.” Ben pressed her down into a chair and crouched in front of her, his vivid eyes filled with concern. “Tell me. If you didn’t write the letters, then who?”
“My husband.”
“I’d wondered.”
“Did you?” Raven ran a hand through her hair, felt the tangles and wished she’d tied it back prim and proper, the way she’d worn it for so many years. “I didn’t. I just assumed what Jonas told me was true. That you’d forgotten all about me. Gone on with your life.”
“You married young.”
“Not so young. I was twenty.”
“And your husband was what? Forty?”
“You seem to know an awful lot about my life.”
“Want me to tell you more? Mom regained custody of you the year after we were taken away. You lived in Chicago. Then Baltimore. You graduated high school there, at the top of your class, a year ahead of your peers. Four years later you received a degree in nursing from the University of Maryland. Married the same year. A doctor.”
“Like I said, you know a lot about my life.”
“I cared, Raven. There’s never been a time that you weren’t in my heart and mind. It just took me a long time to find you. Mom—”
“Was Mom.” Raven didn’t want to dredge up the past. Didn’t want to open the old wounds.
“She didn’t have credit cards. Didn’t use her real name most of the time. It was hard to track you down. Once I found you I tried to call. You didn’t want to talk to me. At least that’s what your husband told me. So I wrote a year’s worth of letters. And at the end of that year, I got those—” Ben gestured to the folder Raven held.
She wanted to offer an explanation, to tell him the truth about her life with Jonas, but she wouldn’t. Her past was something she didn’t share. “I’m sorry Jonas lied to you.”
“Don’t apologize for your husband. Let him do that.”
“He died three years ago.”
“Now it’s my turn to say I’m sorry. I lost my wife over five years ago. I know how much it hurts.”
“Were you married long?”
“Two years. Not nearly long enough.” There was sadness in his eyes, but he smiled anyway. “At least I have some wonderful memories. How about you?”
“I have memories.”
He eyed her for a moment, his gaze intense. Then, as if sensing her reluctance to discuss her marriage, he stood and held out a hand to pull her to her feet. “You left your lemonade in the other room. Let’s go get it.”
The phone rang as they walked back into the living room, the answering machine greeting cutting in after the second ring. Then Raven heard, “Hey, Ben. It’s Ray. Mom and Dad said you were flying in tomorrow. Said I should pick you up. What time’s good?”
Mom? Dad? She ran the words through her mind as Ben reached for the phone.
“Hi, Ray. Listen, my sister’s here—Yeah. I can’t believe it, either. Can you tell Mom and Dad I can’t make it this year? I don’t know. Maybe. Listen. I’ll call you tonight and tell you more. Bye.”
He hung up the phone and smiled at Raven. “Sorry about that. My foster family has a reunion every year. Ray’s in charge of coordinating it this time.”
“It starts tomorrow?”
“Yes. Two weeks at Camp Remington. Fifty adults. Dozens of kids. Lots of food.”
“You’re not going to cancel because of me?”
“I’m going to cancel because I want to.”
“Ben, no.”
“I see my foster parents every few months, the rest of the family a couple of times a year. They won’t miss me.”
“Please don’t cancel. I just arrived, I’m still settling in. I’ve got unpacking to do. A job to find.”
“I can help you with all that.”
“I need to do this on my own. Go to your reunion. Enjoy yourself. When you come back, we’ll talk more.”
He was going to refuse, Raven could see it. A memory flashed through her mind. Ben, much younger, but just as determined, begging the grocer to give Raven a sandwich from the deli. He’d been tenacious. Unwilling to take no for an answer.
The boy lingered in the eyes of the man.
But time must have tempered Ben’s will. He nodded. “I can see you need some time. I’ll give it to you. But just the two weeks. Then we talk. And I want your phone number, so I can call. Otherwise I’ll think this was all a dream.”
Raven smiled at his words, some of her tension easing. “You’re still bossy.”
“And you’re still my little sister. Which gives me the right to boss you. Come on. Let’s go into town. There’s a great diner there. We’ll get some lunch and I’ll show you around.”
He flung his arm around Raven’s shoulder, the gesture so right, so natural, that for a moment she could almost believe they’d never been apart.
Chapter Three
By the time Raven returned to the cottage, daylight had given way to evening shadows. She stood on the front porch, her gaze drawn to the horizon, watching as the last rays of light disappeared. Her time with Ben had been easy and comfortable, their reunion much like she’d always hoped it would be. Still she wondered—at the family he was so much a part of, at the wife he’d loved and still missed.
His path through life had been much different from Raven’s. Not easier, but perhaps more filled with love. She didn’t envy Ben, she only wished she’d made better choices in her own life, and that she were as content and at peace as her brother.
