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‘Because I need to talk to you.’ Her eyes dropped to the moth, which now lay burned and dying on the bare floorboards. ‘I have something very important to tell you.’
Even though Seth hadn’t moved, she sensed the tension run through him, like a fault line in a wall of rock. She knew his mind was working at a million miles a minute and any second now he would put two and two together.
‘If we’re going to have this conversation, Seth, could you please sit down?’
He looked surprised, but to her relief he relented and resumed his seat, one long, jeans-clad leg crossed over the other, hands plunged deep in his pockets.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘I’m sorry, too,’ Amy admitted. ‘I came here to do the right thing, but I’ve made rather a mess of it.’
Seth shot her a sharp glance, and she knew he was waiting for her to explain.
So this was it. The moment she’d feared.
‘I’m not Bella’s mother,’ she said.
It was ages before he spoke, and in the stillness the rain continued to fall, needle-fine and shiny and silent.
‘Is she Rachel’s child?’ he asked at last.
‘Yes.’
Yes…
The word hung in the air, quivering like the vibrations of a tuning fork.
Amy wished she could feel relieved now that it was out, but she was too shocked by Seth’s reaction.
Even in the subdued light, she could see the colour drain from his face. Then, silently, he slumped forward, elbows propped on his knees as he covered his face with his hands.
Shocked, she sat completely still, two fingers pressed against her lips, wishing she could recall the single word that had revealed so much.
Too much?
Yes. One little syllable had told him everything. There was no need to add that Bella was his daughter.
The fact that Amy had brought Bella all this way pointed to it, and a few simple calculations confirmed the facts. Seth only had to count back to know that Bella’s conception had occurred during the time Rachel had spent at Serenity.
With him.
And, clearly, it was the worst possible news.
A cool breeze whipped onto the veranda, spraying fine rain over them.
Amy shivered and rubbed at her arms. ‘Seth,’ she said gently. ‘I’m sorry. I know this is a shock.’
He didn’t respond at first, then slowly he lowered his hands and let them hang loosely between his knees. He didn’t look at her and he didn’t speak, but Amy saw the movement of his throat as he swallowed.
‘I came here, because I—I thought you should know,’ she said. ‘I thought it was important. Not because I want money from you, but because—well, because Bella’s such a sweetheart.’
The thin, cold pricks of rain continued as she waited for a response from him. When it didn’t come, she went on, desperate now to make her point. ‘I think Bella’s the cutest thing on two legs, you see. And, to me, it seemed unfair that you didn’t know about her.’
At last Seth turned to her and she was shocked by the banked despair she saw in his eyes and in the deep lines that bracketed his mouth.
His eyes were bleak, but to her surprise he almost smiled. ‘Don’t feel bad. You’ve done the right thing.’
It was reassuring to hear this, but she wished he looked happier.
‘I’m not planning to offload Bella,’ she felt compelled to explain. ‘You don’t have to worry about that, Seth. I’m totally prepared to keep her with me and to take care of her.’
‘I’m sure that’s best,’ he said quietly.
She let out her breath on a sigh. This was awful, so different from how she’d imagined everything before she’d set out on this journey. She’d anticipated the possibility of fierce anger, or disdainful disbelief. She’d been worried that Seth might try to take Bella away from her, but the last thing she’d expected was this shocked and horrified acceptance.
When his gaze met hers again, his eyes warmed just a little. ‘So what’s your relationship to Bella? Are you her guardian?’
Amy nodded. ‘Rachel had no other family.’
‘Really? No one at all?’
Amy was surprised he knew so little. ‘She was an only child,’ she told him. ‘Her father has passed away, and her mother’s in an aged care facility, and she’s not at all well. Her parents were in their fifties when she was born. Apparently, they’d never expected to have a child, and Rachel was a huge surprise.’
After a bit, he said quietly, ‘That might explain why Rachel was…different.’
‘She was different, wasn’t she?’ Amy’s mouth twisted in a wistful smile as she remembered her friend. ‘She was brilliant, a ton of fun, but—yes—different.’
Seth nodded and looked away quickly, and she wondered if he’d been deeply in love with Rachel. The thought caused an unhappy pang.
‘You’re doing a great job with Bella,’ he said.
‘It’s no hardship. I love her.’
His piercing blue gaze swung back to study her for a heart-stopping stretch of time, and then he rose abruptly.
‘Thank you,’ he said simply, and she knew their conversation was over.
They went back inside the house and Amy shivered as breeze from a ceiling fan chilled her damp skin. She felt miserable as she stood outside her bedroom door.
‘Goodnight,’ Seth said. ‘I hope you’ll be comfortable.’
‘I’m sure I will.’ Then she remembered. ‘Just a minute, Seth. I have something you might like to see.’ She went into the room and fetched a photo album that she’d brought with her, especially for him. As she gave it to him his hands brushed hers and her breath caught as she felt the heat of his skin.
‘Thanks,’ he murmured, gripping the album tightly.
The house was silent, listening.
He seemed to remember his manners as a host. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like something to drink before you turn in?’
‘Could I make myself a cup of tea?’
‘I can get it for you.’
‘No, it’s OK, honestly. I can find my way around the kitchen.’
‘Be my guest,’ he said, gesturing down the hallway to the kitchen, and with a curt nod he left her.
Amy’s sense of anticlimax was overwhelming, and a warm shower and a brisk rub down with a luxuriously thick bath towel didn’t help her to feel any better. Standing in her nightgown between the twin beds, she looked down at Bella, sound asleep and blameless, hugging her plush pink pig, her mouth slightly ajar as she slept.
She felt an urge to climb into the bed and to cuddle the little girl close, seeking comfort and reassurance from her small, warm weight in her arms.
Have I done the right thing, baby?
She padded on bare feet down the darkened hall to the kitchen and found an electric jug and the makings for tea. On her way back, mug in hand, she saw light coming from beneath a door just across the hallway.
Was it Seth’s room?
The possibility made her skin flush hot.
Fool.
In her room, she piled up her pillows and sat in bed in a small pool of lamplight, nursing a mug of hot, sweet tea.
She thought about Rachel, and was swamped by a tidal wave of grief. If only she hadn’t invited Rachel to the launch party. For the trillionth time, she wished that she could go back into the past and change that night. Rachel had always been so full of life, so brimming with can-do confidence and charisma. She shouldn’t be dead.
Their friendship had been so strong, an attraction of opposites. Rachel was brilliant and wild and she’d always claimed that Amy was calming and steadying.
‘Amy’s my anchor,’ she used to tell people.
Guys were forever falling in love with Rachel—so much so that she should have had a warning light, like a lighthouse. Amy’s brother, Ryan, had been smitten, but he’d come to his senses eventually and married his sensible, sweet Jane instead.
For her part, Rachel had loved the attention of men, always had a boyfriend on tap, but somehow she’d managed to stay immune, never really falling in love.
Until her trip north.
‘You should have been there, Ames,’ she’d said, on that night she’d finally opened up. ‘I needed you there, to keep me on the ground. I lost my head completely.’
Swiping at tears, Amy thought about Seth. She wondered if he was looking at the photo album now. Would he sleep tonight? Or was he totally calm again?
Was he thinking about Rachel? About Bella?
He’d looked so terrible tonight when she’d told him her news, and the memory of the deep lines of pain etched in his face sent a throbbing ache to the middle of her chest.
It was so silly to care so much about a man she’d only just met, but she couldn’t help it. There was something about Seth Reardon that got to her—something elemental and deep. Whether he was happy or sad, whenever she was near him, she felt in danger of drowning.
She’d known, from the moment she first saw him—gosh, had it only been this morning?—that he wasn’t a man who would take fatherhood lightly. Chances were, Seth wouldn’t take any relationship lightly—which meant there was a distinct possibility that he’d really, really loved Rachel.
Without warning, Amy’s tears began to fall in earnest, and she buried her face in the pillow so she wouldn’t wake Bella.
The photo album lay abandoned on the nightstand.
Seth had taken a look at it, leafing quickly through the pages, catching glimpses of Bella as a tiny newborn, and later, as a gummy, smiling infant…later still, as a sturdy toddler, learning to walk…
He’d seen pictures of Rachel looking surprisingly maternal, and healthy and happy. There’d even been a shot of Amy, hovering somewhere in the background behind a cake with pink icing and two striped candles. But he’d had to set the book aside. It was too hard to look at these happy snaps.
Amy had offered them to him in all innocence, but she had no idea of the size and force of the bombshell she’d dropped this evening.
She thought he’d fathered Rachel Tyler’s baby.
He’d never dreamed that Rachel was pregnant when she left Serenity, but, hell, in many ways everything would be a whole lot easier if he were the little girl’s father. He would face up to the responsibility, and he could have worked something out with Amy—a way to share custody of Bella, perhaps. Truth be told, the thought of spending more time with Amy was enticing.
But it was a fantasy.
He wasn’t Bella’s father. He hadn’t slept with Rachel.
Not once.
Never.
The real story was something else entirely, and it smothered him with a mountain of guilt and heartache.
While Rachel had flirted openly with him almost as soon as she’d arrived at Serenity, Seth had sensed she could spell trouble and he’d given her the brush-off, so she’d set her sights…elsewhere…
With tragic consequences.
Those consequences were the cross Seth had to bear, but they were too painful to share this evening with a warm-hearted, soft-eyed girl like Amy.
With a harsh groan, he launched to his feet and began to prowl.
This whole business was more complicated than Amy could possibly have imagined and he needed time—days, weeks, years—to work out the best way to explain it to her.
Damn it, he didn’t want to burden her with the truth. Not so soon. She’d been such a loyal friend to Rachel. She’d put her career on hold and she’d devoted herself to Bella, and she’d come all this way, to do something Rachel should have done three years ago.
Reaching for the album, Seth looked again at the photo of Amy, smiling in the background. Her dark eyes were so warm and pretty, and just looking at her made him want to smile.
She was as generous and open-hearted as his uncle had been when he’d taken Seth in after his father died, giving him a home, an education, a sense of belonging. Family.
Seth owed so much to his father’s younger and much admired brother, after whom he’d been named.
But now…damn it…what was the right thing to do?
He couldn’t turn his back on this little girl. How had Amy described her? Cutest thing on two legs.
Too true.
Thing was, it would be easy to wash his hands of this, to tell Amy she was mistaken, that he wasn’t the father. Send her packing.
Except—he felt such a weight of responsibility…and it was all so painful…and even though Amy was warm and compassionate, he didn’t feel ready to talk to a woman he’d just met about what had happened…
