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‘No. You’re doing it for you, because you can, because you’re driven by the need to succeed, but there are other ways to succeed, Max—other things you can do.’
‘Such as?’
She shrugged. ‘Be a good father to your children? Enjoy your life? Take up a hobby—sport of some kind. Not running. That’s just a solitary thing you do to stop you thinking.’
Hell. Was there anything this woman missed?
‘Fancy a game of chess?’ she asked out of the blue, and he stared at her and then gave a soft chuckle.
‘Yeah, why not? Although I’ll probably beat you.’
‘I doubt it. I’ve been practising. I play with John when he’s here.’
Him again.
‘Does he beat you?’
‘Not often.’
Well, there was a challenge. He leant back and smiled. ‘Bring it on,’ he said softly.
Oh, dear. She recognised that look.
Oh, well, at least it wouldn’t be boring. She got the chess pieces out, opened the coffee-table to reveal a chess board, then took a black and a white pawn, shuffled them behind her back and held her closed fists out.
‘Right,’ he said, and she opened her right hand and sighed at his smug grin.
‘OK, you start,’ she said, and handed him the white pieces.
It was all downhill from there, really, because she was finding it really hard to concentrate.
‘Check.’
She stared at the board in disbelief. What on earth had happened to her? She’d completely lost her focus.
She moved her queen, he tutted and took her bishop, and said, ‘Check.’
Again? She stared at the board for ages, conscious of Max’s hands dangling loosely between his knees, his shoulders hunched over, broad and square and powerful, his head so close she could see the individual hairs, soft and glossy and so enticing.
‘Are you sure you want to do that?’
She looked down at the board, muttered under her breath and changed her mind, then sat back. ‘OK.’
‘Oh, dear.’ He moved his final piece, gave her a wicked smile and murmured, ‘I believe you’ll find that’s checkmate.’
What? ‘Oh, rats,’ she said, slumping back against the chair. ‘I’d forgotten how good you are.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ he said with a smile, and set the pieces up again.
‘Oh, no,’ she said, laughing and holding up her hands. ‘Not tonight. I’m tired and I’m just not focusing. We’ll have another go tomorrow.’
By which time she’d have pulled herself together and repossessed her mind.
‘Right, it really is time for bed,’ she said, and met his eyes. ‘Max, why don’t you have an early night?’
‘What, and lie just feet away from you and think about you? I don’t think so. It’s been over a year, Jules. That’s a long time.’
And then it occurred to her that, in that year, there might have been another woman. Several, in fact. Did she want to know?
Yes.
‘Have you—have there…?’ She trailed off, unable to say the words, but he understood and let his breath out on a huff of disbelief.
‘You really think that of me? Julia, we’re married. I may not have been the best husband, but I meant my vows. I haven’t looked at, or touched, or thought about another woman since I met you. And, since you left me, I’ve thought about very little else. So, forgive me if I don’t want to go upstairs and lie down politely within spitting distance of you and go quietly to sleep!’
She felt hot colour scorch her cheeks, and stood up hastily and headed for the door. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so insensitive. For what it’s worth, I’ve missed you, too.’
‘Jules! Julia, wait!’
She stopped, her hand on the latch, and he came up behind her and turned her gently into his arms.
‘I’m sorry. I’m just ratty because I need you. I’m feeling like a caged lion at the moment, and I’m lashing out at anything in range. And it just happens to be you, every time. And it’s rubbish, because all I want to do is hold you—’
And, without another word, he folded her carefully against his chest and rested his head against hers. She could feel his heart beating, feel the tension radiating off him, but she knew it would go no further, that he wouldn’t kiss her or touch her or do anything she didn’t invite directly, because for all his faults he loved her.
‘Oh, Max,’ she sighed, and, sliding her arms around him, she held him close. ‘I’m sorry it’s so difficult.’
‘It doesn’t need to be. You could come back to me.’
‘We’ve been through that,’ she reminded him, and eased out of his arms. ‘I’m not coming back—not until I have concrete proof that you’re changing for good. And, so far, there’s no evidence of that at all.’
He stared down at her sombrely, then nodded. ‘OK. So tomorrow, let’s go to London, and we’ll go to the office and I’ll make some calls and see what I can do. And I’d like to go and see my mother.’
His mother! Of course! She’d missed her. Linda Gallagher was the closest thing she had to a mother now, and she knew the woman would be more than supportive of her in trying to get Max to cut back on his hours. After all, she’d lost her own husband far too young, and she wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to her son. And she’d adore the babies.
‘Have you told her yet?’
He shook his head. ‘No. How can I? I don’t have a phone,’ he said with irony, and she sighed.
‘You could have used the house phone for that.’
‘Only I don’t have the number.’
‘You should know your mother’s number,’ she chided, and he shrugged.
‘Why? It’s in my phone—only, silly me, I don’t have my phone any more, it seems, because it’s been confiscated.’
‘I’d give it back to you if I felt I could trust you,’ she said frankly, and his mouth twitched.
‘Better keep it, then,’ he said softly, and, bending his head, he brushed his lips over hers. ‘Go to bed, Jules. I’ll see you in the morning—and we’ll go and sort everything out.’
If only she could believe it.
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_4def8085-842b-5d7b-a70f-e6aad1430f77)
‘I’D BETTER make some calls,’ he said as they sat over breakfast the next morning. ‘Prime Andrea.’
‘What about your mother?’
He pulled a face. ‘Yeah. Her, too. But mostly business.’
‘I’ll get your phone,’ she said, and ran upstairs to retrieve it from the safety of her bedroom. She went back down and handed it to him. ‘You seem to have a few missed calls that have got under Andrea’s radar,’ she said wryly, and he glanced at the screen and gave a frustrated sigh.
‘I have to deal with some of these.’
‘I don’t doubt it. You’ve got an hour,’ she told him, and, scooping up the babies, she took them upstairs and bathed and dressed them.
‘You’re going to meet your grandmother today,’ she told them with a smile. ‘She’s going to love you.’ But she might not be so warm with her daughter-in-law, Julia realised sadly, her smile fading. A whole year—more—of being out of contact while Max had searched for her might not have done anything to endear her to the woman, and she regretted that.
But how could she have stayed in touch and yet not have kept Max informed? She couldn’t, but she felt another stab of guilt. Max might not have been the most reasonable of husbands, but he’d never kept anything from her, and she was beginning to realise just how much she’d done him wrong by not telling him she was pregnant.
‘Oh, Ava, no!’ she cried, reaching out and catching the baby before she toppled over backwards. ‘When did you learn to stand up?You’re going to be such a pixie, aren’t you?’
Ava grinned and giggled, and, grabbing hold of the edge of the quilt in her fat little fists, she pulled herself up again.
‘You’re trouble,’ she said, and then realised Libby was crawling out of the door and heading for the top of the stairs. ‘Libby!’ she called, and ran after her, to find Max sitting on the top step with his daughter in his arms, rubbing noses and laughing.
‘I think you need a stairgate,’ he said, and she nodded.
‘I do. I bought one, but I can’t fit it. It’s not wide enough. I’ve been meaning to find another one.’
‘I’ll sort it,’ he said, and, getting to his feet, he hoisted Libby up in the air and blew a raspberry on her tummy.
Heavens. Max, blowing raspberries? Maybe there was hope after all…
Andrea was amazing.
Crisp, efficient, much too old for Max—in case she’d been worried—and about as approachable as a pet piranha, but she took one look at them both that morning and smiled. ‘Good,’ she said to Max. ‘You’re looking like a human being at last. You needed a break.’
‘I’m going crazy,’ he said bluntly, but Andrea just smiled at him and then switched her attention to Julia.
‘So—is he behaving?’
Julia rolled her eyes. ‘Sort of. He keeps trying to steal his phone from me.’
‘Well, he will. He plays hardball, you should know that.’
‘But it’s not a game.’
‘No. I think he realises. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be there with you. Now, if I might borrow him for a little while, there are several urgent things he needs to deal with and then you can have him back.’
‘You can come,’ he said to her. ‘See what we’re up to.’
And be sucked in? ‘We’ll be fine,’ she said, deciding to trust him, and she settled on a chair in her old office with the babies at her feet and looked around.
Odd, how alien it seemed, and yet how familiar. Nothing had really changed, only her—and she’d changed beyond recognition, apparently, if the blank look on the face of the man who stuck his head round the door was anything to go by.
‘Oh—sorry. I was looking for Andrea,’ he said.
She smiled at the familiar face. ‘Hello, Stephen,’ she said, and he did a mild double-take and stared at her.
‘Julia?’
‘That’s me,’ she said lightly, wondering whether to be flattered or not, and Stephen gave a startled laugh.
‘Well—how are you? I thought—’ He broke off, clearly unsure quite what to say, and for the first time she wondered about the public rather than private impact that her disappearance had had on Max.
‘I’ve been busy,’ she said wryly, and he stared at the girls and gave a tiny, choked laugh.
‘I can see. Amazing. I had no idea.’
Nor had Max, but she wasn’t going to discuss their private life with one of his employees, even if he had once been a friend of hers, and one of Max’s most reliable right-hand men.
The most reliable. ‘So how’s Yashimoto?’
‘Stunned. You know Max is selling the company back to him?’
It was her turn to stare. ‘He is?’
‘Yes, apparently. I couldn’t believe it. He’s fought so hard to turn it round, and now he’s just giving it away. Still, it’s in much better shape, and Yashimoto will make a better job of it now with the benefit of Max’s advice, so he’s happy. But it’s Max I can’t fathom. I thought you would have known all about it, since you were so involved with setting up the deal in the first place.’
She shook her head. ‘Max and I don’t talk about business now.’
‘No. Good idea, not taking work home. Doesn’t sound like Max, but babies change you. Did you know we’ve had a little boy?’
She smiled. ‘No, I didn’t. Congratulations—and make sure you see plenty of him.’
‘I will. In the meantime, I’d better go and join this meeting.’
‘I think they’re in Max’s office.’
‘Cheers. And it’s lovely to see you again.’
He shut the door and left her there to contemplate the bombshell he’d dropped.
When had Max decided to sell Yashimoto’s company back to him? Yesterday? Today? Or much earlier, and she just hadn’t known because they hadn’t discussed business at all, as she’d told Stephen?
She had no idea, but she was puzzled, whatever. Did it mean he was taking her seriously and cutting back on his business interests? Or had it already been in the pipeline? She needed to know, because the difference was crucial. She didn’t want to go thinking that he was making sweeping changes when all the time he’d been following one of his incredible hunches.
