скачать книгу бесплатно
Had he decided to take her up on her offer of the carriage house?
She’d seen Eduardo dressed up once before, on his date at Chez La Ferme, but he looked happier and more comfortable today, in his dark suit and open-collared blue shirt, laughing with his kids.
“Sofia! Hey!” Lauren dropped Poppy’s hand and ran toward the Delgados. Ryan followed suit. They played on the same coed soccer team with Sofia and Diego, and the four children were becoming friends.
A moment later, all of them were on the grass next to their vehicles. Ryan, Diego and Maya darted back and forth, burning off energy by throwing around the cotton-ball lambs they’d made in Sunday school.
“Is that sacrilegious, to play with the Easter lamb?” Fiona asked, half joking.
“Is it, Dad?” Diego clutched his lamb to his chest, his expression anxious.
Eduardo looked amused. “Not really. In some cultures, kids raise a lamb for Easter. I’m sure they play with it.”
“That would be fun!” Maya danced over to Fiona. “Can we get a lamb, Mom?”
“No.” Fiona tried to tuck Maya’s hair back into its ponytail holder without much success. “But we’re thinking about a dog when summer comes, and you kids can all help pick it out.”
“Yes!” Maya pumped her arm in the air and ran back to the game of toss-the-lamb.
Fiona glanced over at Eduardo. “I don’t think the kids would like what happens to the pet lamb at Easter.”
“Easter dinner?” He winced. “Good point.”
“Mom, can me and Sofia swing Poppy?” Lauren asked.
Poppy threw her arms around Lauren. “Please, Mommy? I wanna swing with LaLa!”
“If you’re careful. Not too high.”
“I know, Mom. Come on, Sofia.” Lauren picked Poppy up easily and carried her toward the swing set. At ten, she was tall and broad-shouldered, often mistaken for a teenager.
“Poppy’s cute,” Eduardo said, looking a little wistful. “I remember those days.”
“They go by too fast.” Fiona didn’t want to think about how she wasn’t going to get another baby, how Poppy was her last. So, she watched as Lauren set her little sister on a swing, giving her a stern lecture about holding on tight. Lauren liked to show off her childcare skills, and Sofia was a new audience.
Which was fine. To a pair of ten-year-olds, a toddler seemed like a doll, and Poppy was glad to play that role if it got her some big-girl attention.
Fiona and Eduardo stood together, watching their happy kids. Was the question of the carriage house hanging between them, making things awkward, or was it just her being silly?
She focused her attention on a robin pecking at the newly turned earth, pulling out a fat earthworm.
It was a beautiful spring day and the service had been uplifting, and there was no need to feel uncomfortable with family friends. If he didn’t want to take her up on her offer, that was perfectly fine. He probably had lots of friends to reach out to.
“If you were serious about renting to us,” Eduardo said to Fiona, “could we stop over and check out the carriage house sometime soon? I’ve been online and in the paper, and there’s not much out there to rent. I have an appointment to look at a trailer out on County Line Road, but it’s a little more isolated than I’m comfortable with.”
“Sure!” Fiona heard the enthusiasm in her own voice and toned it down. “Come out this afternoon, if you’d like. And you know, I also have a landscaping project I need done. Maybe you could take a look.”
“Are they coming over?” Maya had overheard, and a big smile broke out on her face.
“Maybe,” Fiona said.
“They might come over!” Maya rushed over to the big girls with her important news, followed by Diego and Ryan.
“They’re obviously on board,” Fiona said. “In fact, you’re welcome to come for some lunch. I have plenty of hot dogs and burgers—”
“No, thank you,” Eduardo interrupted, a shadow crossing his face. “That’s a nice invitation, but we have other plans.”
Heat rose in Fiona’s face, and she was sure it showed in her cheeks. The disadvantage of being a fair-skinned redhead.
The rebuff was so definite. He didn’t want to come. “I just thought... It’s always hard to figure out what to do for lunch after church, at least it is for me, and so if you needed...” Stop talking. He doesn’t want to be your friend.
“As far as helping with your landscaping...” He trailed off.
“It was just an idea. I know you have a lot going on.”
He looked at the ground and then met her eyes with a forthright gaze. “You didn’t suggest it to be charitable?”
“Charitable? What you do mean?”
“I just thought... Since we’re going to struggle a little, given what’s happened, maybe you were trying to help. And that’s not necessary.” His chin lifted.
“I’m sorry to say that didn’t even occur to me,” she admitted. “I’ve been meaning to look for a landscaper, but I haven’t gotten around to it. When I saw from your truck that you do landscaping, it seemed providential. If you’re not interested, it’s no problem.”
He opened his mouth to answer. But the kids had been conferring over by the swings, and before he could say anything, they ran over in a group.
“Are Sofia and Diego coming over?” Ryan was obviously the designated speaker.
Fiona glanced up at Eduardo, eyebrow lifted. His call.
“Yes, I think so,” he said. “A little later.”
“Well, we were wondering...” Ryan glanced at his big sister.
“We figured out a plan.” A winning smile broke across Lauren’s face. “Can Sofia ride with us?”
“And can I ride with Diego?” Ryan asked. “Please, Mom? I like their truck.”
“That won’t work.” Fiona looked over at Eduardo. “They’re coming over later in the afternoon. Right?”
“We have a stop to make,” Eduardo said, putting a hand on Diego’s shoulder and another on Sofia’s.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot,” Sofia said. “We’re going to the cemetery.”
“How come?” Ryan asked.
“Our mom is there,” Diego explained.
“Well, her grave is,” Sofia clarified. “Mama’s in heaven.”
“I know she’s in heaven. I’m not a dummy.” Diego’s face reddened, and he opened his mouth as if to say more. But Eduardo squeezed his shoulder and, when Diego looked up, shook his head.
Diego’s shoulders slumped.
“Our dad’s in heaven, too.” Ryan bumped against Diego’s arm in a friendly way and then dug up a pebble with his toe, booting it down the sidewalk. That was Ryan, kindhearted and empathetic. “C’mon!”
Diego pulled away from his father and jogged alongside Ryan, kicking a stone of his own.
“If she’s in heaven,” Maya said, looking up at Sofia and Eduardo, “then why are you going to the cemetery?”
Fiona blew out a breath and squatted down beside her inquisitive seven-year-old. “Every family does things differently. A lot of people like to put flowers on a loved one’s grave.”
“I’ll show you,” Sofia said, tugging the truck key out of her father’s hand. She clicked open the vehicle and pulled a pot of hyacinths from the passenger side. “Today, we’re gonna put these on Mama’s grave.”
“They’re pretty.” Maya stood on tiptoe to sniff the fragrant blossoms. “I never saw a cemetery.”
Fiona didn’t correct her. Of course, Maya had been at her father’s funeral, together with the other kids, including Poppy, who’d been just two months old.
“Some of the graves have tricycles on them, or teddy bears,” Sofia announced. “That’s kids who died.”
“Sofia.” Eduardo gestured toward Poppy, obviously urging silence in front of a little one.
“Sorry,” Sofia whispered and then squatted down on her haunches, holding out the flowers to Poppy. “Want to smell?”
Poppy did and then giggled as the flowers tickled her nose. Distraction accomplished.
“Can we go with them?” Lauren asked unexpectedly.
Fiona opened her mouth and then closed it again. She knew it was important to deal with kids’ questions about death, but really? “We don’t want to intrude,” she said, putting a hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “It’s their private family time.”
“We don’t care,” Diego said as he passed by, chasing the rock he was kicking. “We go all the time.”
They did? Fiona couldn’t help glancing at Eduardo curiously. He must still be grieving hard for his wife.
“We go once every month,” Sofia corrected her little brother.
“Why don’t we go to our daddy’s grave, Mom?” Maya asked.
“Because our daddy was bad,” Lauren said before Fiona could put together a response.
Poppy tugged at Fiona’s hand. “Was our daddy bad?”
Pain and concern twisted Fiona’s stomach, along with anger at Reggie. He’d hurt her, badly, but even worse was how he’d hurt his children.
Nonetheless, she knew what she had to do: keep her own feelings inside and be positive about the children’s father, lest they grow up worrying that they themselves carried something bad inside them. “He was your daddy who loved you and there was lots that was good about him,” she said, making sure her voice was loud enough for all the kids to hear. “But his grave is back in Illinois, where we used to live.”
“Our mom was the best,” Diego said. “Daddy has a picture.” He tugged the keys out of his sister’s hands and showed the photo attached to the ring.
Fiona squinted down at it, and Lauren and Maya leaned in to see as well. A petite dark-haired woman held a baby, with a little girl who must be Sofia leaning into her. Eduardo stood behind the woman, arms protectively around his whole family.
“She’s really pretty,” Maya said.
“Was pretty,” Lauren corrected in her automatic big-sister mode, then reddened and looked over at Sofia. “I’m sorry your mom died.”
Sofia nodded and leaned back against her father, who knelt and put an arm around her. Taking back the key ring from Diego, he held it so Sofia could see. “She was very pretty. Just a tiny little thing, but strong. You look a lot like her.”
“I don’t,” Diego said, obviously parroting what he’d heard before. “I look more like you.”
“Your mother loved both of you very much.” Eduardo squeezed Sofia’s shoulders, let her go and then patted Diego on the back. “She loved to cook for you, and play with you, and read to you. We’ll talk about her at the cemetery, like we always do.”
Fiona’s throat tightened. Helping kids through the loss of a parent was an ongoing challenge.
“Do we have a picture of our daddy?” Maya asked. “Because...” She looked up at Fiona, her face uncertain. “I don’t really remember what he looks like.”
“Back home in our albums, stupid,” Lauren said.
“We don’t call each other stupid,” Fiona said automatically. “And, speaking of back home, we should get going and leave the Delgados to do what they were planning to do.” Maya still looked unhappy—rare for her—so Fiona stooped down and grasped her hands. “Do you want to look at our albums when we go home? There are some good pictures of you and Daddy.”
“Okay.” Maya nodded, her momentary distress gone.
“Are we still having hot dogs?” Ryan asked. “I’m starving!”
“Yes. Come on, everyone in the car.” Fiona clicked open the door locks and then looked at Eduardo. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
He nodded, his eyes unreadable. “And I’m sorry for yours as well.”
As Fiona drove home, her mind kept going back to Eduardo’s family picture. Obviously, he wasn’t over his tiny, beautiful, loving wife.
She had no right to feel jealous just because she’d struck out in the marriage game. It was nothing more than what her mother had always predicted—at her size, and not being the brightest woman around, attracting any man at all had been unlikely. The chances of him being a good, responsible, trustworthy person? Just about nil.
She had more than she deserved in her four wonderful children, and she was content with her life now, as it was.
* * *
Later that Sunday afternoon, Eduardo pulled up in front of Fiona’s house, stopped the truck and waited. He knew exactly what his kids were going to say.
“That’s their house?” Sofia asked. “It looks like it’s from a movie!”
“It’s cool,” Diego said. “Is that where we’d live?”
“No. Mrs. Farmingham is looking to rent the carriage house, out back. I haven’t seen it, but I’m sure it’s nothing fancy.”
Diego shrugged, then poked his sister in the side. “C’mon, let’s go! There’s Ryan!”
“Wait.” Eduardo turned in his seat to face both of his kids. “We need to remember some things.”
“I know. Good manners.” Diego had his hand on the door handle.
“Like what?” he prompted.
