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‘Tell me what you think of these.’
‘Are they for a tapestry, my lord?’ I asked, picking up the nearest paper – a charcoal sketch of a helmed man wearing a mask, breastplate, leather skirt, greaves and sandals.
‘No, it’s an entertainment for the court. The Siege of Troy. Lord Rivers’ notion. Unfortunately I doubt I’ll have time to put it on this year. Here’s the Lady Helen.’
The drawing showed a creature in a long, yellow wig and voluminous white gown. Metal cones armoured her massive breasts and steel tassets protected her broad thighs. She looked like a fishwife playing Joan of Arc.
‘Why are you smiling, Mistress Shore?’
‘Your pardon, my lord, but unless your desire to is to make people laugh, I cannot imagine anyone stealing this lady from her husband. Why, Prince Paris would need a derrick to get her on board his ship. Oh, but I suppose she is to be played by a man.’
He took the cartoon from me. ‘Do you believe any of this tale is true?’
‘That a princess could leave her husband for a handsome Trojan? I am sure that has been happening since time began. However, I do not suppose the war lasted ten years. That is probably the storyteller’s exaggeration. Or if it did, I expect the Greeks went home at Christmas and Easter.’
‘They were heathens, Mistress Shore.’
I shrugged. ‘Ah, well, perhaps they had orgies to attend.’
I was flattered by his company. There must be weighty matters on this great man’s mind and yet he was making every effort to be pleasant.
‘My lord, is it true we shall be soon be at war with the French?’
‘Yes, Mistress Shore.’
‘That is not good news for the city. Is it to punish the King of France?’
King Louis had funded a mighty rebellion a few years earlier. He had brokered an alliance between King Edward’s cousin, Warwick, the King’s younger brother, George, and the exiled former queen, Margaret of Anjou. The result was an invasion that drove King Edward and Lord Hastings out of England for the winter, but they returned in the spring and after two bloody battles at Barnet and Tewkesbury, King Edward slid back onto the cushions on his throne at Westminster and clapped on his crown again.
‘To punish the King of France?’ replied Lord Hastings, humouring me. ‘Yes, Mistress Shore, it could be seen that way but there are better reasons. You do not approve of the King’s enterprise?’
‘I know that King Louis has invaded Brittany and would like to conquer Burgundy, my lord. I understand also that England has treaty obligations with Burgundy, but I wish the realm might have continual peace so our trade may prosper. War means higher taxes and good men risking their lives. Hasn’t there been enough killing in the quarrel between the Houses of York and Lancaster? No, I do not uphold a war with France.’
He seemed amused by my outspokenness. ‘I shall inform his grace the King of your opinion, little mistress.’
‘I pray you do not, my lord,’ I said genially, for I knew he was teasing me, but inside I was bristling for I dislike being belittled. ‘As for taxes, a man may milk a cow, for sure, but there comes a time if there is insufficient grass when—’
His gasp of laughter interrupted me. ‘Mistress Shore! And there was I believing you only get milk if you pump a cow’s tail, but now you tell me it’s a matter of grass.’
For an instant I thought to clamp my lips closed and wallow in mortification but instead the she-devil in me brazenly retorted, ‘My lord, you may believe what you will. Perhaps in Leicestershire there are a lot of cows with aching tails!’
Hastings drew a breath at my audacity, for he was from those parts, then laughed heartily, slamming his hand upon the table. It was fortunate that his steward’s polite cough ended the conversation for although you can push the boat out far when you are younger and female, it is best not to get into unfamiliar waters.
Lord Hastings’ hand between my shoulder blades was extremely agreeable as he escorted me back to Father. ‘Your daughter has a sharp wit, Master Lambard.’
‘Oh, please do not tell him that, my lord, or he will start noticing.’
Father pushed an armful of samples at me with a glare to hold my tongue.
As we walked back to Silver Street, he said, ‘That man will seek to have you, Elizabeth.’
When I made no answer, he added, ‘You’ll not encourage him. I’ll not have any daughter of mine causing a scandal. The Guild won’t like it.’
‘I do not think you have any right to preach to me, sir.’ I watched his handsome profile redden.
‘Damn it, I suppose you’ll never forget I made a fool of myself.’
We walked on in silence, both of us remembering how he had stupidly leased a house in Wood Street for his mistress and then when he had finished with her, she had moved out taking everything that could be lifted, unscrewed or levered off. Because the dwelling was rented from the Goldsmiths’ Guild and Father did not have the coin in hand to pay for the woman’s thievery, his reputation would have been ruined. Fortunately Alderman Shaa forewarned me and provided a list of all that was owed. It took all my savings to pay my father’s debts.
‘I helped you then with what little money I had, Father,’ I exclaimed, hastening to keep up with his angry stride. ‘But now all your cargoes have been safely delivered, you might consider helping me.’
He halted. ‘To grease some slimy lawyer’s palm, Elizabeth, so he’ll write to His Holiness in Rome on your behalf? Jesu! If divorce was easy, princes would change their wives like they change their cotes. Besides, you and Shore have managed all these years.’
‘Managed!’ I echoed indignantly, tempted to toss Father’s precious samples in the nearest sewer. ‘Shore’s been impotent since he had that quarrel with the cooper’s cart, and before that was not much better.’
I knew what I was missing. I had discovered how to pleasure myself.
‘I concede that Shore is not of the right temperament for you, Elizabeth,’ Father was saying, ‘but as I’ve told you many times before, he’s no sluggard and the Mercer’s Guild thinks highly of him. Why, I’ll wager he could become an alderman like me in a few years’ time. Just be patient.’
‘Patient for what? I did not want this marriage when I was twelve and now I am twenty-five and childless, I am even more resolved to end it.’
Several passers-by were eyeing us now and Father rapidly dredged up his pat-on-the-head-and-she-will-calm expression that he used with Mama when she was angry.
‘Sweetheart,’ he cajoled, putting his free arm about my shoulder to urge me forward, ‘taking a husband to law is not how a decent woman behaves. Marriage is for life. It is God’s will.’
‘God, sir, was never married.’ I shoved his merchandise back into his arms and fisting my skirts marched on alone.
‘You try my patience, Elizabeth,’ he grumbled, hastening after me. ‘Even if you had the money for a petition to Rome, his Holiness in Rome would never listen to a woman.’
‘I’ll make somebody listen,’ I vowed.
And maybe it would be Lord Hastings.
III
‘What’s going on, Margery?’ I whispered to Alderman Shaa’s daughter on Sunday, a week later after we had heard the sermon at St Paul’s Cross. I could see that her parents and mine were heading off together to their favourite tavern for ale and pies, but Margery was blocking my way, insisting that Shore and I remain with her in the stands at St Paul’s Yard beside the cathedral. She had more flesh to keep her warm; I was feeling chilled and ravenous.
I had always trusted Margery. We had become friends at the Cripplegate School for merchants’ daughters and neither of us had found marriage easy. But there was something else that bound me to her family. Not just their help in strangling the scandal that would have dishonoured my father, but Master Shaa’s kindness in persuading Shore to let me have my little enterprise with the silkwomen.
‘Wait-and-see!’ My friend tapped the side of her nose. ‘A surprise.’
‘Oh lord, we haven’t got to watch another pair of priests being flailed around the yard, have we?’ I sat down again with great reluctance. The hour’s sermon on Divine Love, delivered by a Franciscan with a blocked nose, had been tedious. ‘Won’t your children be missing you?’ I muttered.
‘Lizbeth! Be patient!’
The last thing I wanted was to watch some poor wretch doing penance for their sins. God’s mercy! I was the last person to desire to cast the first stone. Part of me was bursting to tell Margery about my encounters with Lord Hastings, but her tolerance of others’ foibles had narrowed since her marriage to the goldsmith Hugh Paddesley, a man I did not care for. Sometimes she sounded more like Paddesley than he did.
‘Ah, here we go,’ she exclaimed, nudging me with her elbow.
A ragtag mob of people, who had not heard the sermon, was thickening the crowd. Alarm bells sounded in my head. Adultery! It had to be adultery! I cast a sharp look at my friend. Had she suspected I was dreaming of taking a lover? No, that was lighting a bonfire with green wood for I read no rebuke in her eyes, and Shore and Paddesley were discussing cockfighting with their friend Shelley. Nothing was untoward.
‘I promise you, Lizbeth!’ she exclaimed. ‘You’ll be glad you stayed.’
There was only one penitent in the open cart, a woman in a white shift with her long dark hair unbound about her shoulders. Not a common strumpet by the way she held herself. Well nourished, too, neither scrawny nor obese. The crowd whooped as the sheriff’s soldiers pulled her roughly down onto the cobbles and untied her wrists. A priest handed her a lit taper, and then with two soldiers ahead of her and two behind her with their halberd blades prodding her forwards, she began her journey of contrition around St Paul’s Yard.
I had seen these walks of penitence before, but today the crowd’s jeers made me shudder as though someone had walked across my grave. The human cockroaches from the back lanes had brought buckets slopping with excrement. Soon the woman’s shift would resemble a filthy rag.
At first she tried to keep her dignity, but as the pelting grew, she started to flinch, her body jerking this way and that like a thief on a hangman’s rope. As she approached our stand, I could see she was about ten years older than I. Her forehead and left cheek were bleeding, and spittle and dung spattered her hair and skin. The thin, putrid shift showed her nipples and she was shivering as though she had the marsh disease.
Shore and Margery’s husband leaned over to spit at her.
‘Come on! Hiss!’ Margery sprang to her feet and, like the other merchant’s wives, shook her fist and jeered. I stood up with the rest but I could not abuse the poor creature. This was no prostitute snared to give the crowd its monthly dose of titillation. She could have been an erring wife or a courtesan; just a woman who had fallen into temptation.
‘Vile,’ I muttered, wincing as I watched the woman whimper and fling up her hands as the stoning began again.
Flushed and pleased, Margery subsided on the bench and put her mouth to my ear. ‘That was your father’s greedy whore. She was caught last week fleecing a merchant from the Grocers’ Guild. Didn’t you hear all the hubbub? The guild has expelled him.’
‘Sweet Christ!’ Now I understood why her parents had hurried mine away. Or had my father done the hurrying?
I searched the faces around me. Did our husbands know?
‘Too tame,’ Paddesley was complaining, with a sneer of nostril. ‘They could have whipped the whore around the yard.’
‘Aye, better sport,’ agreed Shore, which made me want to stick a dagger in him.
‘For my part, I cannot see what charm she held for the poor dotard,’ Master Shelley was saying. ‘Breasts like a beggar’s purse. Whereas that cherrylips a month ago.’ He whistled. His eyes skewed covertly in my direction. ‘Legs to her armpits, but this hag …’
‘Ah, but …’ Paddesley whispered something behind his hand. The other two laughed.
Margery, excluded, reddened. ‘You might give me thanks,’ she muttered, taking out her annoyance on me. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’
‘Pleased! I found it offensive.’
‘Twaddle, Lizbeth! Women like her make it harder for the rest of us.’
‘Make what harder, Mistress Paddesley,’ quipped Shelley, elbowing her husband.
‘Yes, what are you trying to say, pet?’ Paddesley asked, trying to exchange a grin with me.
Margery was already in a nose-up huff. ‘No matter. Can we go now?’
‘Yes, Margery, what did you mean?’ I whispered as we descended the stairs ahead of the others.
She had to be coaxed. ‘Just that respectable wives like us are not supposed to play the games in bed that she does. If we do, we’re accused of being wanton.’
‘So it’s a sin to enjoy a husband’s lovemaking? How very absurd, but then I wouldn’t know, would I?’ How bitter I must have sounded.
‘Well, I think the whore deserved her punishment, Lizbeth. She’s the worse sort, tempting husbands to be unfaithful.’
‘What, you think she’s worse than a common strumpet?’
‘Winchester geese do it to stay alive. And it’s a business transaction for men who have too much—’ She gestured. ‘You know.’
‘Ah, “the fiery men who become ill if they do not have regular intercourse with a woman”,’ I said, quoting a treatise on the issue.
‘Exactly,’ agreed Margery. ‘Whereas that bitch’s sort does it because they enjoy it.’
‘So it’s her pleasure you take issue with?’
‘Well, yes.’
It was a point of view I had once shared. The sisterhood of respectability. Guild wives were supposed to uphold God’s commandments to the letter. But poor Margery was feeding the incubus of Envy. If she could not enjoy the sport of the bedchamber, she did not want anyone else to either.
I, too, had never enjoyed a man’s lovemaking. Suffered, yes. Shore had first used me when I was fourteen years old. His recent impotence was a blessing. Alas, now I was five and twenty! More than half my life gone already. But none of the London guildsmen had measured to my taste. No man except … And into my mind at that moment crept a scheme so outrageously sinful that I halted on the cobbles with a gasp.
‘Lizbeth, what’s wrong? Are you ill?’
‘Possibly.’ I laughed. Crazed might be the word.
Yes, wild, fevered, CRAZED! Deliciously mad with a spire-high, illuminated ‘C’.
IV
I took matters – and courage – into my own hands and trounced off to Beaumont’s Inn.
‘You’ll ‘ave to wait in line,’ the porter growled at me.
Wait? There I was, anxious to give, my heart beating frantically, and ahead of me were forty people, and more arriving.
‘Be patient, dearie,’ said the woman behind me as she heard me sigh. ‘It’s always like this on petition days.’
But then I saw his lordship’s steward come out and linger as though counting us. I left the line and hastened towards him but he vanished inside and the two guards protecting the entrance to the hall slammed their halberds across my path.
‘Take your turn, mistress,’ chortled one of them, ‘unless you’d like to take your turn wi’ me.’
I bit my lip. ‘Very tempting, sirrah, but it’s not that business I had in mind. I’m a mercer come to see Master Hyrst about an order.’
‘Why was yous standing wi’ the petitioners, then?’ demanded the other guard.
‘I thought … well, no matter. A silver penny for whichever of you can take me to Master Hyrst.’
Coin and a woman’s smile are better than battering rams to open doors. Eventually a servant beckoned me through. Master Hyrst stood waiting in the passageway.
‘Good day to you, sir,’ I said with a curtsy. ‘I should like to see my lord.’
‘Oh, would you! Well, you can whistle for that, mistress.’ But then as fortune would have it, Lord Hastings himself came by. The yearning creature inside my body gave a wriggle of delight at seeing him.
‘Mistress Shore, whatever are you doing here?’ He took my hand as I made obeisance and drew me to my feet.
