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“I knew you thought we were only friends. I don’t want to be only friends anymore. I know you’re courting with Lawson and I respect that, but I couldn’t go any longer without letting you know how I feel about you. I wanted you to know that before you did something you couldn’t take back.”
“For the last time, I am not engaged to Lawson.” There was a pause, then her voice became gentler. “You’ve been such a good friend to me—”
“But it could change into something better if you gave us a chance.”
“No, I honestly can’t imagine us being anything more than just friends. I see you like a brother. Nothing more.”
Nathan gave a nod of approval.
“You said the same thing about Lawson.”
“I know, and I’m not going to marry Lawson, either.”
“Does he know that?”
“Yep.” Lawson nodded just as Ellie said, “Goodness, yes.”
“Then why not—”
“Chris, let’s forget all of this and go on as we always have.”
“Poor man,” Lawson said while Ellie said goodbye to Chris. “That has to hurt.”
Nathan nodded. “That’s about what I expected but I did warn him. I guess that means you and Ellie are still on the road to matrimony.”
Lawson shook his head at Nathan’s teasing. “For the record, when I asked she said ‘no’ so there is no possible way we’re engaged or courting.”
Ellie breezed into the kitchen to grab Kate’s mending basket. “It would have served you right if I had said yes. What would you have done then?”
He shrugged nonchalantly as he returned her challenge with his own. “Picked out a ring.”
“Oh, sure.” She breathed in disbelief but that uncertain look in her eye told him she’d picked up on that slight vein of truth in his voice. “We would have one-upped each other right to the altar.”
“Probably.”
“Well, if you gentlemen are done eavesdropping, you should probably get back to work.” She sent them a knowing look over her shoulder before she breezed out of the room.
Yep, she had them figured out, all right. He turned to share a chagrinned grimace with Nathan only to find the man scrutinizing him thoughtfully. Lawson cleared his throat then decided he’d better follow Ellie’s advice before Nathan asked him to explain that comment about the ring. He wasn’t sure he wanted to explain it to himself.
Chapter Five
Ellie carefully slid her hand down Delilah’s leg until she reached the mare’s foot. She gave it a little squeeze and Delilah immediately kicked up her leg so Ellie could clean out her hoof. The horse leaned into Ellie’s side then began nipping at the ribbon she’d used to tie back her hair. Ellie pushed the horse away with her shoulder. “Stop it, silly. You’re going to topple both of us over.”
She heard Nathan’s confident steps pound toward her on the barn floor. “Ellie, you have another visitor.”
She glanced up in surprise. It had been two days since her last visitor. Frankly, she’d been stunned by Chris’s attempt to woo her. She hoped she hadn’t hurt him with her reply. She knew how saddening it could be to discover that someone you were interested in saw you only as a sibling. After all, that was the story of her life in this town. She let out a world-weary sigh then released Delilah’s hoof and straightened up. “Who is it this time?”
Nathan grinned wryly and opened the gate to the stall, knowing better than to give her the option to climb over it. “I guess you’ll find out when you see him.”
She glanced back at him for some clue but he was already striding past her out of the barn. She followed him into the sunlight. It took a moment for her to realize the whole Rutledge family and Lawson had gathered to watch the proceedings. The man wasn’t waiting for her inside like Chris had. Instead, he sat on the top of his wagon with a piece of hay stuck in his mouth. Ellie barely contained the urge to groan. “Hello, Mr. Turner.”
“Call me Donovan.” He jumped down from the wagon to grab her hand. He shook it up and down repeatedly as his eyes wandered across her face as though memorizing her every feature.
She carefully pulled her hand from his sweaty palm and attempted to smile sweetly. “I don’t suppose you’re here to buy a horse?”
“No, ma’am. I heard you got yourself engaged to this fellow, but I won’t believe it until I see it.” Donovan threw a frown at Lawson then grasped her left hand in both of his. He stared at it for a long moment before bursting into a grin. “There’s nothing there.”
Ellie sighed. “I know.”
She jumped when he let out a whoop of joy then rolled her eyes, which caused her nieces and nephew to giggle. Suddenly he was herding her toward his wagon. Literally. He just turned toward her and started walking so she began backing up until he stopped at the front of the wagon. She glanced past him to meet Nathan’s gaze. He stepped closer to the wagon to keep an eye on them.
Donovan reclaimed her attention by placing a hand on her arm. “Darlin’, I’ve got something here that will make you wonder what you ever saw in that fellow.”
“Really, Donovan?” She glanced past him to Lawson. He didn’t look particularly concerned, with that poorly concealed half smile on his face. Then again, why should he be? He was just there to watch the show like everyone else.
“This is for you.”
He reached under the wagon seat and pulled out a small, white piglet with black spots.
She stared at it for a long moment then lifted her gaze to Donovan’s pale gray eyes. “You brought me a pig?”
“Yes, ma’am. I sure did.” Her nieces squealed in delight but Donovan sent a glare over his shoulder at the sound of Lawson’s disbelieving laugh. “It’s the best of the litter. I thought you could use it on the farm.”
She bit her lip to keep from laughing then couldn’t stop the incredulous smile that followed. “That’s very thoughtful, but I can’t accept a gift like that.”
“Sure you can.”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t because I’m not going to let you court me. You’re a very nice man but I just don’t feel that way about you.”
He dropped his head and pulled the piglet closer. “Shucks, ma’am. I know that you feel that way now. I just had to take a chance and let you know how I felt so’s I can try to change your mind.” Each time he spoke, the sleeping pig’s ears jerked toward the sound. The man lifted his head to stare at her. “I’ve watched you at church, Ms. O’Brien, and your faith is inspiring.”
“That’s nice of you to say.” She glanced over his shoulder to meet Nathan’s suspicious gaze.
“I watch you every time you come to town. Sometimes I even follow you a little. It always brightens my day to see you.”
“That’s...” She paused. Very strange. “Something you probably shouldn’t do. Follow me around, I mean. You should stop.”
“Yes, ma’am, I understand.” He glanced down at the pig then thrust it under her nose. “You should still take the pig.”
“I don’t think—” She stopped trying to reason when he lifted one of her arms and slid the pig into it. “Oh, well, if you’re sure.”
“I’m positive. It’s yours. No strings attached. Just because you’re you.” He smiled hopefully. “If you like, I can stop by to check on it—”
She cut him off with a shake of her hand. “If you leave it, that’s it.”
“I reckon that’s all right.” He patted the pig on its head. “Cute little fella, isn’t he?”
She glanced down at the animal in her arms and smiled. “He is cute and very little. Thank you.”
When she glanced up she found Donovan was still watching her. “Yes, sir. The man who takes you for a wife is going to be a mighty lucky man.”
Nathan must have seen that as his cue because he stepped forward. “Donovan, I think you and I should have a talk about what’s appropriate when it comes to young ladies.”
Ellie slipped away just as Kate and her children stepped forward to look at the pig. Kate’s wary eyes darted to Donovan as her children crooned to the animal. “He’s a strange man. You’d do well to stay away from him. He may be harmless, but it pays to be careful.”
“I’ve been doing my best.”
“Well, Nathan will be on high alert, too, as I’m sure Lawson will.”
“I appreciate that.” She left the piglet in an empty stall under the watchful eyes of the children then went to finish Delilah’s hooves. She found Lawson had beaten her to it. “You don’t have to do that. I can finish what I started.”
“It’s fine,” he said, but didn’t glance up from his work. “Maybe you could start on Samson.”
“Delilah was the last one.” She propped her boot on the gate of the stall and watched him work, noticing the controlled power that surged through each motion.
“This will only take a minute.” He released Delilah’s hoof then straightened to meet her gaze. “It looks like our supposed engagement lit a fire under some of your suitors.”
She crossed her arms along the stall’s gate and leaned against it. “It’s awfully silly.”
“Silly?” He eyed her carefully, then turned away to run his hand down Delilah’s back leg to get the horse to lift her foot. “You know I think I’ve got you figured out, Ms. O’Brien. The ruse is up.”
She frowned at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t really want to get married.”
“Of course I do. That’s the most ridiculous statement I’ve ever heard.”
“So you say.” He finished cleaning Delilah’s hoof and turned to face her. “Yet, over the past few days, you’ve managed to discourage two completely different types of men.”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “So what if I did? I didn’t like them, that’s all.”
Lawson rubbed his chin in thoughtful speculation. Delilah nudged him in the back, forcing him to take two steps toward her. “What about Chris?”
She narrowed her eyes. “What about him?”
“He said his feelings for you changed a long time ago.” He braced his hands on either side of her arms and tilted his head. “Are you saying you really didn’t notice?”
“I had no idea,” she said honestly.
“I think that leads us to the crux of the matter.”
She raised her brows expectantly. “Which would be?”
He gave a slow smile, and shook his head. “You, Ellie O’Brien, are afraid to take off the blinders you’ve fashioned.”
“What blinders?”
“The ones that keep you from seeing yourself as everyone else sees you—as a kind, beautiful, spontaneous woman.”
She stared at him in awe. He thought she was beautiful? Hadn’t he always thought of her as one of the boys? Hadn’t he always seen her as a surrogate little sister? Apparently, somehow that had changed. He now saw her as beautiful—a woman. She swallowed. Why did that send her heart galloping in her chest?
He carefully guided her chin up until she was forced to meet the knowing smile in his eyes. “You’re the kind of woman who wouldn’t have any trouble finding herself a husband, if she didn’t try so hard to cross every suitable man off her list or give him away to her friends.”
She didn’t have anything to say because she’d suddenly realized why those relatively suitable men had seemed so unsuitable. She realized it because she was staring the reason right in the face. She, Ellie O’Brien, had a crush on Lawson Williams.
She barely withheld a groan. She had no idea how long this had been going on but she needed it to stop. Talk about embarrassing! He obviously didn’t feel the same way. He thought proposing to her was so ridiculous that he’d turned it into a joke! Just because he said she was a beautiful woman didn’t mean he considered her a woman he’d want to pursue. Goodness, he’d only been trying to encourage her. It didn’t mean anything. As though to confirm her assessment, he stepped back and shook his head. “You need to give one of those men on your list a chance, Ellie.”
She gathered her wits enough to lift an impervious eyebrow at his statement. “No, I don’t.”
He grinned. “Then I stand by my other statement. You aren’t really searching for a husband. So what are you searching for?”
“Love,” she said softly. “The kind of love that Nathan has for Kate and Sean has for Lorelei. I do want that, Lawson. I just haven’t found a man who can love me like that or at least a man that I want to be loved by. I think if I had that, why, I might be a different person altogether.”
He frowned at her. “What’s wrong with the person you are now?”
“Do I really need to list my faults for you? I’d rather not.” Especially since some of them she couldn’t even admit to herself. Nevertheless, she’d been achingly aware of them lately...ever since Mrs. Greene mentioned consequences from the mistakes Ellie had made in the past—whatever they were.
“No, you don’t have to do that,” he said, then shook his head. “I still think you’re selling yourself short in many respects.”
She backed away from the stall’s gate so he could walk through it. “Well, I think I just have a very clear view of my weaknesses.”
A very clear view, she thought with a sideways look at Lawson as they walked to the corral. She planned to overcome one of them as quickly as possible to save both of them from embarrassment.
* * *
“Lawson, are you decent? Your parents came early to help set up for the party and want to see your cabin.”
He froze at the sound of Ellie’s voice as he glanced around in a panic at his messy cabin. Why hadn’t he folded his clothes instead of dumping them in the chair near the cold fireplace? He probably should have swept out the dirt he’d tracked in. “Stall them for a minute, will you? This place is a mess.”
An awkward silence seeped through the closed front door. He sighed and grabbed his shirt. “They’re standing right next to you, aren’t they?”
“Yep.” Her muffled voice continued cheerily, “Lawson has been such a big help setting up for Maddie and Jeff’s engagement party. I kept finding one more little thing for him to do so I’m afraid I’ve made him late getting ready.”
He heard his parents respond but didn’t bother to try to decipher what they were saying. Instead, he stuffed his clothes into the trunk at the end of his bed, straightened his bedding, pushed the chair under the table and hoped they wouldn’t notice the dirt on the floor. He opened the door as he tucked his shirt into his pants. “Welcome to my humble home.”
Lettie stepped inside wearing a pert little blue bonnet over her dark brown hair and carrying a basket that filled the cabin with the smell of freshly baked apple pie. “What a cute little cabin.”
Doc chuckled as he clasped Lawson on the shoulder. “Lettie, that isn’t exactly what a man wants to hear about his first home as a bachelor.”
Ellie leaned against the doorway to peer inside. “Well, it should be cute. I picked out all the decorations.”
“Did you?” Lettie asked with new interest.
“She did. I’m afraid all I added was the mud.”
Doc nodded proudly. “That’s the best part.”
Ellie frowned, then stepped past him to sit at the table and pick up the planter filled with brown flowers. “You didn’t water them.”
