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She strode on. What she wanted, she realised, was independence. If she was fortunate enough to find a good position, then it might be possible to save a little of her salary each year until she had enough to retire. That, of course, would take many, many years, but what else had she to look forward to?
Perhaps you should look for a husband.
Major Coale’s words came into her mind. She could almost hear his deep voice saying them.
A husband. That was the ambition of most young ladies, but it was not hers. Besides, no man would want her if he knew her past—and she could not consider marrying a man without telling him everything.
No, thought Zelah practically, she had only two choices: she could remain at West Barton, loved and valued at the present, but destined to become nothing more than a burdensome old maid, or she could make a bid for independence.
‘I choose independence,’ she said to a cow, regarding her balefully from the next field. ‘I shall go back now and write out an advertisement for the newspaper.’
She crossed the field and scrambled over the stile on to the lane that led up to West Barton and as she did so she saw a rider approaching from the direction of Lesserton. Major Coale. In a panic she considered jumping back over the stile and hiding until he had gone by, but it was too late; he had already seen her.
‘Good morning, Miss Pentewan.’ He raised his hat to her. She felt a little rush of pride when she saw his short hair. His cheeks were still free of a beard, too. There was no sign that he planned to revert to his former shaggy appearance. ‘I am on my way to enquire after young Master Buckland.’
‘He is doing very well, Major, thank you. The doctor says he may leave his bed tomorrow.’
He professes to dislike society, she thought. Perhaps he will be satisfied with that report. He will touch his hat, turn and ride away again.
‘I am glad to hear it.’ He kicked his feet free from the stirrups and jumped down. ‘Are you walking back to the house now? May I join you?’
‘I … yes, of course.’
She waited until he was beside her and began to walk on, very slowly, the grey mare clopping lazily along behind them. After a few yards the major stopped.
‘Is this how you usually walk, Miss Pentewan? I am surprised you ever get anywhere.’
‘Yes—no, I …’ She trailed off, her gaze dropping to his booted feet. ‘I thought, your leg …’
‘I am not a cripple, madam.’
Mrs Graddon’s words flashed into her mind and she recalled when she had offered to cut his hair and he had got up from the table to summon his servant. There had been no dragging step, no sign of a limp then.
‘Does the wound not pain you?’ she asked him.
‘Not at all, unlike this dawdling pace.’
She gave a little huff of irritation.
‘I beg your pardon. I was trying to be considerate.’
His hard look informed her quite clearly that he did not appreciate her efforts. She put up her chin.
‘If the wound has healed and there is no pain, why, then, does it affect your step?’
‘Habit, I suppose. What does it matter? I do not go into society.’
‘But that might change.’
‘I think not.’
She gave up the argument and walked on at her normal pace. The major matched her stride for stride and Zelah hid a smile. A little furrow of concentration creased his brow, but he was no longer limping.
‘Your journey back was not too tiring, Nicky did not suffer overmuch?’
‘Not at all. The new road is very smooth.’ She waved her hand at the lane. ‘It puts our own track to shame.’
‘My engineer used a new method of road-building: smaller stones, tightly packed. It seems very good, but we shall see how well it wears.’ His glance shifted to her skirts and the band of damp around the hem. ‘You have not been keeping to the roads, I think?’
She laughed. ‘No, I have crossed a couple of very muddy fields. It was such a lovely day I could not bear to remain indoors a moment longer.’
‘I suppose Nicky requires a great deal of attention. Your time cannot be your own.’
She was surprised by his concern.
‘You are not to be thinking I begrudge him a moment of it, nor Maria, but sometimes one likes a little time alone—but I have had that now,’ she said quickly, sensing his hesitation. She added shyly, ‘This last stretch is the least interesting, and I am always glad of company for it.’
The house was in sight. She called to the gardener’s boy to take the major’s horse to the stables and led him in through the front door, sending a footman running to fetch Maria.
‘Please come into the morning room, Major. My brother-in-law is out and will be sorry to have missed you, but my sister will be here directly.’
‘Must I see her? I would rather you took me directly to see the boy.’
‘You know I cannot do that. Besides, my sister will want to give you her thanks in person.’
He gave a little pout of distaste but the scar at the left side of his mouth distorted it into a full grimace. He muttered irritably that he wanted no thanks. Zelah felt a smile tugging her lips.
‘You sound very much like a sulky schoolboy, Major.’ She heard the door open and turned. ‘Ah, Maria, here is Major Coale come to visit Nicky, if you will allow it.’
Maria hesitated at the door, then smiled and came forward.
‘Major Coale, I am so delighted to meet you at last. I have heard so much about you from my son and I have been longing to thank you in person for taking such care of him.’
Watching him take her outstretched hand and bow over it gracefully, Zelah was aware of a little stab of jealousy that he had never saluted her in that way.
‘My husband is in Lesserton at present, Major, and I am sure he will regret that he is not here to greet you. However, he is looking forward to seeing you next week at dinner—you received my note, I hope?’
‘I did, ma’am, and I am delighted to accept.’
‘Reginald is at a meeting,’ said Zelah. ‘There is a dispute over the boundary between the villagers’ land and that belonging to Lydcombe Park. Have you heard about it?’
‘Yes,’ he said indifferently. ‘I recall Netherby telling me something of it when he came to call.’
‘Did he not tell you of the meeting?’
‘He did, but it’s no business of mine.’ His tone was final and Maria was quick to change the subject.
‘Goodness, how the morning is flying! I am sure Nicky is anxious to see you, sir. Zelah, my love, perhaps you would escort Major Coale upstairs?’
‘Oh—but I was about to retire to change my gown. It became sadly muddied during my walk …’
‘Well, the major has already seen it and Nicky will not notice.’ Maria laughed aside her objections. ‘I must go and relieve Nurse—little Reginald will be waking up soon and demanding to be fed.’ She turned to smile at the major. ‘I shall say good-day to you now, sir, and look forward to seeing you here for dinner next week.’
Silently Zelah led the major away. The slight hesitation in his step had returned, but whether it was due to the exercise or the awkwardness of meeting his hostess she did not know and would not ask. Nicky’s face lit up when the major walked in.
‘I knew you would come!’ Nicky greeted him enthusiastically.
‘Did you doubt it, after you wrote me such a very polite letter?’
‘It was Zelah’s idea. She helped me write it.’
‘But the sentiments were all Nicky’s,’ she said quickly.
The major turned towards her, amusement warming his hard eyes.
‘Including the invitation to call? I am quite cast down.’
Zelah flushed scarlet, but she was saved from finding a response by her nephew, who had spotted a packet protruding from the major’s coat pocket.
‘Is that a present for me, Major?’
‘It is, sir. It is the travel backgammon set from Rooks Tower. Hannah told me how much you enjoyed using it so I thought you might like to have it. She sends you her best wishes, by the bye.’
Nicky gave a little crow of delight and immediately challenged the major to a game.
‘Oh now, Nicky, I am sure Major Coale is far too busy—’
‘Major Coale has a little time to spare,’ Dominic interrupted her. ‘And my honour is at stake here—I cannot refuse a challenge!’ He nodded at her. ‘You may safely leave the boy with me for an hour, Miss Pentewan, if you wish to go and change your gown.’
‘… and he stayed for a full two hours playing backgammon with Nicky. It was most good-natured of him. It left me free to look after baby and Zelah went off to write her letters.’
The family were at dinner and Maria was telling her husband about Major Coale’s visit.
‘Yes, I must say he struck me as very gentlemanly when I passed him on the road,’ said Reginald. ‘Quite a change from when I first made his acquaintance. Then he was looking very wild, but he is very much altered.’ He cast an amused glance at Zelah. ‘Having you in the house was a civilising influence, my dear.’
‘Not that civilising,’ she responded. ‘I told him about your opposition to Sir Oswald’s plans for Prickett Wood and he was not at all interested in supporting you.’
Maria was inclined to be sympathetic.
‘One can hardly blame him, poor man. He is so hideously disfigured it must be a trial for him to go into society at all.’
Reginald paused, considering.
‘Do you really think him so repulsive, my love? I can’t say I really noticed his scar the last time I saw him.’
This response earned him a warm smile from his sister-in-law.
‘Well, of course, it was the first time I had seen him,’ said Maria. ‘But his manners are so polished and he is the son of a viscount. Once he has been to dinner and I have seen him a little more, I am sure I shall grow accustomed.’
A week went by and Zelah waited hopefully each day for a response to her advertisement for a position as governess. She had written it out in her best copperplate and sent it to the newspaper offices in Barnstaple and Taunton, but no replies were forthcoming.
‘Oh, my dear, perhaps it is not meant to be,’ said Maria, when Zelah explained this to her. ‘Can you not content yourself with living here? You know we are very happy to keep you with us.’
‘Thank you, Maria, and I love being here as a guest, but it was never my intention to become your pensioner.’
Maria cried out at that, protesting that she would always be a guest, never a burden, but Zelah had seen Reginald poring over his accounts, she had heard him discussing with Maria the possibility of selling off some of their land to pay for Nicky to attend Mr Netherby’s school. Zelah did not mention it, merely saying cheerfully, ‘I do not despair—tomorrow I shall write another notice and send it off to the newspapers in Bristol and Bath. I am sure someone there must require a governess.’
‘I am sure they do, love, but for now let us forget this plan of yours and look forward to this evening. Major Coale is coming to dinner, had you forgotten?’
Zelah had not forgotten, but for some reason she did not want to admit it and she was glad when her sister continued.
‘What will you wear, Zelah, the green robe you had made up last summer?’
‘I thought I might put on my grey gown.’
‘What?’ Maria sat up, scandalised. ‘That gown has done service for several years now and is very severe. You should save it to wear when you are interviewed by a prospective employer. No,’ she said decisively, ‘you will wear the green and I shall fetch out my Norwich shawl for you to drape over your arms, should the evening turn chilly.’ Maria sighed loudly. ‘There is certainly no reason for you to save your best silk any longer. If you are set upon finding work, then it is not at all suitable for a governess.’
Zelah hugged her.
‘Pray do not be sad for me, dearest sister. I think it is quite exciting, and if I find the children are just too abominable, I shall give it all up and come running home to you!’
When the dinner hour approached, Zelah ran lightly down to the drawing room, her silk skirts whispering as she moved. She had to admit there was something very uplifting about putting on a pretty dress. Maria had even sent her own maid to put up Zelah’s hair, restraining it by a matching green bandeau and leaving just a few loose curls tumbling artlessly to her shoulders. To complete the picture Zelah threaded a small jade cross on a green ribbon and tied it around her neck.
‘There,’ she told her reflection, ‘a picture of simple elegance. What does one need with diamonds and emeralds?’
The approving looks of her sister and brother-in-law raised her spirits even more and when Major Coale arrived she turned towards the door, her eyes sparkling and a smile of genuine welcome parting her lips.
Dominic entered the room ready to bow and say all that duty required, but when his eyes alighted upon Zelah Pentewan he stopped, his brain refusing to function. In a matter of seconds he regained his composure, bowing to his host and greeting Mrs Buckland with the usual polite phrases, but all the time his brain was in turmoil.
He had not been looking forward to the evening. He remembered his first meeting with his hostess, recalled her hesitation and the way her eyes travelled everywhere save to his face. He hoped she would soon recover from the habit, but it did not surprise him. It was always thus with a new acquaintance.
Except Zelah, who had never shown any reluctance to look at him, save when he teased her or paid her compliments and made her blush. Gazing at her now, he wanted to shower her with compliments, for she looked quite charming. Her gown, which was the colour of new leaves, brought out the green flecks in those expressive eyes that now met his own and a delicate flush mantled her cheeks. She looked genuinely pleased to see him and for a moment his spirits soared.
It had been a long time since any young woman had smiled at him in quite such a welcoming way, save those he had paid on rare occasions to spend the evening with him in a vain attempt to relieve his loneliness. Dominic quickly damped down his pleasure. Her smiles were nothing more than natural friendliness. No woman could ever be attracted to him now.
So he retreated into the safety of his perfect society manners and quelled the impulse to hold her fingers an instant longer than was required, or even—as he really wanted—to kiss her hand.
Dinner should have been a relaxed affair. Maria and Reginald were at pains to put their guest at ease and the major responded with perfect civility. There was very little for Zelah to do other than eat her food and enjoy the sound of his deep, well-modulated voice, yet she could not be easy. Every nerve end ached, her skin was so sensitive she wondered if it was perhaps some kind of fever, but when she touched her own cheek the skin was not unnaturally warm. Zelah wondered at her reaction and finally concluded she had lived retired for too long and had forgotten how to behave amongst strangers.
At last Maria gave the signal to withdraw and the ladies left the men to their brandy.
‘I think it is going exceedingly well,’ said Maria, sinking into a chair and disposing her skirts elegantly around her. ‘Major Coale is very well read and Reginald was right, now that we have been in his company for a while I hardly notice his poor face at all. But you have been very quiet, Zelah my love. I would have thought the major’s knowledge of art and literature would have made him an interesting guest for you.’
‘He is—that is, the conversation was flowing so well I didn’t like to—I mean, I could find nothing to add.’
‘That is most unlike you, little sister.’ Maria patted her cheek. ‘I do believe you are a little shy of the major, but there is no need. Indeed, you should know him better than any of us. You must try to be a little more sociable. I assure you, Zelah, you have nothing to fear. He is perfectly harmless.’
But Major Coale did not feel perfectly harmless. Zelah could not explain it. Part of her wanted to stay near him, to engage him in conversation and at the same time she wanted to run away. It was most confusing.
