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“Tables for two are easy today,” she said with a smile. “It’s tables for eight that are the problem. If you’ll follow me, please.”
They were shown to a small table tucked in by the window. After they were seated, Margot leaned toward her.
“You’re really okay?”
Sunshine smiled. “You take the older sister thing way too seriously. You only beat me into the world by eight minutes.”
“I can’t help it. You’re my family and I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Sunshine pulled a slim envelope out of her handbag and passed it over. “Proof that I’m perfectly fine. Installment one.”
Margot opened the envelope and wrinkled her nose. She pulled out the check. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“You loaned me the down payment for my car.”
When Sunshine had returned to Los Angeles four months earlier, she’d had zero money but surprisingly good credit. After getting a job as a waitress and a second gig as a clerk at a drugstore, she’d borrowed money from her sister and had managed to swing a car loan. Margot had insisted Sunshine get a couple of thousand into a savings account before paying her back. Thanks to her new nanny job, she was doing much better financially, and could finally start repaying her sister.
Margot sighed. “I didn’t want you to pay me back.”
“Sorry. That was the deal. I’m not a moocher.”
Margot grinned. “You make me crazy.”
“That’s part of the job description. I’m doing good. I love the kid and I start school tomorrow and this is right. I swear.”
“Well, if you swear.”
Their server appeared and told them about the specials, then took their drink orders.
“Champagne,” Margot said firmly.
When the glasses were delivered, Sunshine reached for hers. “To Francine, on her birthday. We love you and miss you and hope that in heaven you’re surrounded by beauty queens.”
Margot touched glasses with her. “To Francine. I know we’re not exactly what you were hoping for, but we love you and appreciate all you did for us.”
They each took a sip in honor of the great-grandmother who had raised them. She’d been gone over a decade, but Sunshine could still hear Francine’s voice in her head. Sit up straight. Don’t cross your legs at the knee. Think tall thoughts. Elegance is always the right choice.
“I was such a disappointment,” she said lightly, having long since accepted the inevitable truth.
“We both were,” Margot murmured. “At least you tried. I was a trembling, whimpering mess.”
“Don’t forget the projectile vomiting.”
“Always a pretty memory.”
They smiled at each other.
“How’s work?” Sunshine asked. “Weren’t you interviewing for a new client?”
“I was and I got it. Should be an interesting one. She’s a mass of contradictions. I have to live in, which I don’t usually love, but the house is great.”
Sunshine knew better than to ask too many questions. Margot was very discreet about her clients and never talked in specifics.
“Where will you be living?”
“I’m staying in Pasadena, so not far from you.”
“Nice. Let me know if you want me to check on your condo. You know my schedule is mostly flexible.”
“Thanks.”
The server returned and they placed their order. When he was gone, Margot picked up her champagne.
“So how’s your newest heartbreaker?”
Sunshine laughed. “Connor is totally adorable. He’s such a good kid. He’s still dealing with losing his mom, but he’s so brave. We’re going to be getting an ant farm.”
Margot shuddered. “Why?”
“He wants one. I think it’ll be fun. Do you know the people who sell them refer to the ants as animals? Connor was right there, so I couldn’t laugh, but jeez, really. Animals? So are they ant ranchers or something?”
Margot chuckled. “And the man of the house?”
“I’m still getting to know him. He seems like a good dad. He’s involved with Connor.”
“A nice change.”
“It is.”
Too many of the parents she’d worked for were not very engaged. They wanted a nanny for convenience and to pass on the responsibility of raising their children to. From what she could tell, Declan was a concerned parent.
“It must be so hard,” she said, fighting sadness. “To lose your spouse when you’re both so young. They would have expected to have a lifetime together and she’s gone.”
“Don’t,” her sister said, her voice kind. “You were going to say you want that, too.”
“Not the dying part. Just the rest of it. You know. Love. The forever kind.”
They looked at each other, then Margot slowly shook her head. “You know it’s not in our DNA.”
“It could be. I want it to be. At least Connor has something to mourn. I don’t. Just a dozen or so bad relationships that I knew were never going anywhere, yet there I was, running out on my life at the first sign of interest. Normal, sensible people don’t do that.”
“Is that what we’re going to be?”
“It’s a good goal. You’re halfway there.”
“Oh please.” Margot picked up her champagne. “I’ve spent the better part of five years being stuck because of a man and the last few years trying to avoid him. I spend so much time trying not to think about him, I can’t seem to think about anyone else. I’m great at my job and sucky at my personal life.”
“You’re not.”
“I am a little.”
Sunshine knew that was kind of true. “I want to be proud of myself,” she admitted. “I want to be a better person and fall in love with someone great. I want a future, not a fling.”
“The normal thing you love so much.”
“You mock normal, but you’d like it, too. You’re just afraid to try. You don’t think you’re capable of loving anyone but Dietrich.”
Margot winced. “While true, a little hedging wouldn’t be out of line.”
“Sorry. I’ll hedge next time.”
Margot thought for a second. “All right, I’ll say it. I want to put my past behind me and move on. I would like to find out if I’m capable of loving someone else. Someone who’s actually good for me.”
“Here’s to us being brave,” Sunshine said, raising her glass. “Or at the very least, not being rash.”
Margot laughed. “To avoiding rashes.”
After brunch, Sunshine ran a few errands before returning to the house. She wanted to spend a couple of hours looking over her incredibly huge math textbook. She’d flipped through the first few chapters twice and still wasn’t sure any part of it was written in English, but maybe this time it would all make sense.
She tried to tell herself that she was taking the class to learn and if she already understood the material, what was the point, but she wasn’t totally convinced. Shouldn’t she at least know something?
She parked her used Honda Civic next to Declan’s BMW SUV, then went inside. After changing into cropped pants and a T-shirt, she headed for the kitchen. She could hear Connor and Declan outside, playing. She filled two glasses with ice and water, and set them out on the counter. She was about to retreat to her room when Declan walked into the kitchen.
He grinned when he saw her. “You’re back. How was your brunch?”
He was casually dressed. His shoulders stretched the seams of his T-shirt and the fabric was soft looking and faded.
“Good. I met my sister. It’s my great-grandmother’s birthday. She died shortly after we graduated from high school but we always go out on her birthday. She would like that we remembered, then she would scold us, pointing out how much sugar was in champagne and that it would go straight to my thighs. Then she would tell me to sit up straight.”
His eyebrows drew together. “She sounds, ah, interesting.”
“She was a pistol, as they say. Until she retired well into her eighties, she ran her own business.” Sunshine made air quotes. “Mrs. Baxter’s School of Charm and Decorum. And no, I’m not kidding.”
“I don’t even know what that is.”
“My great-grandmother helped young women become beauty queens. She desperately wanted to train a Miss America, but the closest she got was a runner-up. We were her last hope, but it wasn’t going to happen. I was more than willing, but hardly beauty pageant material.”
Declan looked even more confused. “Why not?”
“Men,” she said with a grin. “I’m too short and way too curvy. Margot’s the beauty in the family. Tall, thin, gorgeous. But she couldn’t deal with the whole being on stage thing. She would either faint or barf. Not a winning strategy. When we were fourteen, Francine closed the school and we moved to Las Vegas.”
“My head is spinning,” Declan told her. “I had no idea you had such a checkered past.”
“There are surprising depths. Just let me know if you ever want to learn a three-point runway turn. I’m an expert.”
“Now you’re scaring me.”
Connor ran into the kitchen. “Da-ad! I’ve been waiting forever.” He turned. “Sunshine! You’re back.” He rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We’re playing outside. Come with us.”
“Connor, we’ve talked about this. It’s Sunshine’s day off. We need to leave her alone.”
Connor pushed up his glasses and nodded slowly as he stepped back. “Sorry, Sunshine.”
She knew the importance of keeping to a regular schedule, but it was tough when Connor had such a firm grip on her heartstrings.
She touched his cheek. “I have a couple of things I have to do, but what if I join you for dinner?” She glanced at Declan. “If that’s all right with you.”
Connor jumped up and down. “Yes! Yes! Dad’s barbecuing burgers, and say yes, Dad!”
Declan’s expression turned rueful. “It appears I’m no longer the favorite.”
“I’m new,” Sunshine told him. “And shiny. I’ll tarnish in time.”
“I’m not holding my breath.” He wrapped his arms around Connor. “Come on, you. We’re going back outside. Sunshine, you are welcome to join us for dinner.”
“Thanks. I will.”
She retreated to her room and stared at the massive textbook on her desk. Just carrying it was going to be a workout. But instead of sitting down and trying to make sense of the first chapter, she walked to the window where she could watch Declan and Connor. They sat on the grass, drinking the water she’d left out for them.
It was obvious how much they cared about each other. They were a family—still healing from an incredible loss, but connected all the same. She wanted that. Love and belonging, something real. Something more than being the flavor of the month. She was willing to change, to be different and try new things to make that happen. What she didn’t know was whether or not she could escape who she was and the Baxter women’s four generations of disasters in the love life department.
After brunch with her sister, Margot drove home and finished packing for her stay with Bianca. The job was for about two months, but Margot only packed enough for a couple of weeks. She could easily go back to her place whenever she needed to. Her condo was a fifteen-minute drive from the monastery.
She still couldn’t believe she was going to live there. Everything about the glorious old structure appealed to her. She was going to check with her host and get permission to do some exploring. And the garden! The little she’d seen of it was magical.
After cleaning out the refrigerator and double-checking that all the faucets were turned off, Margot loaded her car with two suitcases, a briefcase and a couple of boxes. She was bringing her printer, along with a box of books that might be useful. She made sure the front door was locked, then drove toward the old section of Pasadena, heading north into the foothills.
Once again she pulled into the driveway and stopped in front of the impressive gates that kept out the world. She smiled as she pressed the button on the panel, thinking there should be a secret password.
“It’s Margot Baxter,” she said.
“Right on time,” an unfamiliar woman said. “Come on in and we’ll get you settled.”
Margot waited for the gates to swing open before driving to one of the parking spaces. Before she’d had a chance to get out of her car, the front door opened and a middle-aged woman walked toward her, pulling a utility cart behind her.
“You must be Margot,” the woman said, holding out her hand. “I’m Edna Stojicic, Alec’s housekeeper. He told me why you were here. I think we’re all in for an interesting time.”
Edna wore a simple short-sleeved green blouse over black pants. Her dark hair was short, her eyes brown. She looked sensible and competent, with a friendly smile that made Margot feel welcome.
Edna motioned to the cart. “To help with the unloading process.”
Together they emptied the trunk and backseat. Margot wheeled one of her suitcases toward the house while Edna pushed the loaded cart. When they reached the front door, Edna pointed to the keypad by the handle.
“This is how you’ll come and go from the house. Your six-digit code is in your bedroom. I’ve also left you a clicker for the front gate. There’s a security system, but it’s more about monitoring than alarms. There’s no setting it or turning it off.” She chuckled. “It’s always watching, so no dancing naked in the halls.”
“Not really my thing,” Margot murmured, then wondered if that was a problem with Bianca. Oh well, she’d known the job would be challenging when she took it.
