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‘Jake.’ His name slipped from her lips. A name she’d scrawled over her textbooks, over her heart. Etched in, refusing to budge no matter how much she had tried to rid his memory from her life. ‘His name is Jacob.’
Jacob. The young boy next door who had intruded constantly on her time with her father. Her father’s dust-covered four-wheel drive would pull up in the driveway and Jake would be over the fence and next to Dad in a flash. She’d hated him at first—stealing her father’s attention, listening to her dad’s exploits in New Guinea, in Saudi Arabia and in the Australian outback with more enthusiasm and gusto than she could manage. He would gasp about the monstrous earth-moving equipment Dad had worked around and brag how he would do the same when he grew up. Her dad had loved the attention.
The gangly boy next door had hung around for years, idolising her father whenever he deemed to make an appearance in her life. And slowly her anger at this boy had turned to a puppy love that grew into a giant infatuation scored into her heart. Even when Jake had followed in her father’s footsteps, becoming another strong, macho construction supervisor, her feelings hadn’t changed.
She raised the menu again to hide the rush of emotion, the sorrow, and the grief. The pain was still raw, as if a half-healed wound had been gouged anew by his presence. She should have known better than to trust him in the first place. She should have stuck with hating him—she would have been safe then.
Meg held her breath as she heard the heavy footfalls come closer, felt the rush of air across her bare arm as someone passed by. She could hear him stop, could feel him close. Her throat ached at the irony of meeting Jake here, out of the blue and without warning. What was she going to say to him?
She felt his hand on the menu, tugging it. She held firm.
‘Signorina, please,’ said a deep-accented baritone. ‘You eat your minestrone now. I have your order. I take the menu.’
Meg’s relief was palpable. She loosened her grip on the menu and it was swept from her hands. Her eyes followed the departing shield as the waiter proceeded to the next table. She wasn’t ready for Jake to see her—to come over, to talk to her after years of emptiness.
Her eyes leapt to the neatly arranged table. The cutlery wasn’t going to be useful, neither was the vase of flowers, and her soup bowl was out of the question—steaming hot and aromatic.
‘Hello, Meg.’
She froze. His voice was unmistakable, low and smooth, awakening her body to long-suppressed reactions. Jake. Her Jake. Her heart skipped a beat. She’d thought she’d never hear that voice again. She wasn’t sure whether to cry or scream. She looked up.
His eyes bored into hers. Green eyes that tore at her heart. She had the perverse urge to leap into his strong arms and hold him.
Jake stood tall in front of her table, looking tough, his muscles rippling under his cream designer shirt. The years had been kind to him. His features had matured from the smooth and boyish she’d known to the ‘seasoned by the world’, devilishly handsome face that was now right in front of her.
She sat frozen in her seat. There was too much between them for her to embrace him, too much even to move. He was part of the past and there was no way she’d let him or any other man into her heart again just to break it.
Jake pulled a chair to the table. ‘May I?’ He carried himself with a new, commanding air of authority. ‘You’re looking well, Meg.’
She nodded, afraid her voice would betray her if she used it. The scent of his aftershave tormented her with memories of their times together, and hearing her name on his lips was a torture she’d thought she’d never have to endure again.
He turned to Suzie. ‘Jacob Adams. I’m Meg’s—’
‘Friend.’ Meg found her voice. ‘An old friend.’ She gave him a hostile glare. How dared he think he could walk in here and take over? Tell the whole world who he was and what she was to him?
‘You don’t look that old to me.’ Suzie leant her elbows onto the table and rested her chin on her hands. Her friend’s hazel eyes glinted and her cherry lips were conspicuously seductive.
Meg squirmed. Suzie was going all out. She had no idea that this guy had no concept of commitment. She knew it only too well—she’d learnt it the hard way.
‘I’m old enough.’ Jake held Suzie’s look a moment longer than was necessary. He turned to Meg. ‘I hear you’re quite a success. I never knew you were going into fashion.’
It was strange to hear him talk so calmly, so familiarly to her, as if there hadn’t been an altercation between them at all. She forced her lips to move. ‘There was a lot you didn’t know about me.’
‘You didn’t give me a chance.’
‘It wasn’t like you were planning to stick around to find out anything.’ The day she’d found that oneway plane ticket to Delhi had clinched it. It wasn’t going to work if he was going to disappear on her again and again, just like her father had.
‘You didn’t know that.’
‘Yes, I did. I knew a lot more than you gave me credit for.’
His eyes darkened. ‘I couldn’t just walk away from work.’
‘You could walk away from me,’ she bit out, glaring at him. ‘But then I wasn’t very high on your list of priorities, was I?’
‘You were provided for.’ He spoke without a hint of emotion. ‘You had everything you could possibly need.’
Not everything, she thought bitterly. Not him. Not the love she needed and deserved. She’d rather go to hell and back than live without love in her life again. She wanted a different life for herself than the one her father had given her. Very different.
‘Hey!’ Suzie waved her hands between them. ‘Truce. What the hell went on between you two?’
‘Absolutely nothing.’ Meg felt as though her dormant wits had finally returned. She rose from the table. She had nothing to say or prove. Her life was perfect. She didn’t need Mr Jacob Adams for anything. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I’m not hungry any more.’
Jake stood abruptly. ‘You can’t leave without giving me some answers.’
‘Watch me.’ Meg sauntered out, holding her breath, fighting against an avalanche of emotion, struggling to hold back the tears that stung behind her eyes.
She wasn’t going to let Jacob Adams back into her heart or her life. He’d done enough damage the first time round.
CHAPTER TWO
THE vibrant displays in Meg’s shopfront window went unnoticed for the first time. Even her assistants passed in a blur, their voices incoherent as Meg contemplated her conversation with Jake. She was already rehashing it in her mind, wishing she’d said things differently or not at all. If only the waiter had let her keep the menu…But she knew that she couldn’t have kept hiding for ever.
She pushed open the door to her private office. The large mahogany desk set against the pastel colours of the walls, the floral cushions adorning the cream sofa and the polished timber floor she had dreamt of for ages now all seemed meaningless. What had he done to her? Usually she found joy and satisfaction in the achievement of her own boutique. She’d struggled against the world, against the odds, and won.
In the space of a couple of minutes Jake’s magnetic green eyes had penetrated her carefully constructed world and destroyed her happiness, shattering her contentment. She sank into her chair behind the desk. Why had she gone out to lunch today?
Meg grimaced at Suzie’s dedication to shoving her out into the dating scene. Meg hadn’t been very co-operative. She’d pushed herself for the last twelve months, trying to break into the exclusive designer world while juggling a hectic private life. Men, although not the last thing on her mind, were an unnecessary complication, an issue she could do without. But Suzie had other plans.
‘Meg?’ Her secretary, Joyce, tapped on the door and entered. ‘Are you all right? You look terrible.’
‘I’m fine.’ Meg stiffened. ‘Lunch just didn’t go to plan, that’s all.’ She fiddled with her pen and tried to avoid Joyce’s perceptive eyes. Joyce had been with her almost from the start, but still Meg couldn’t bring herself to tell her everything. To tell her the truth about her life.
Joyce pushed her thin-framed glasses up her nose and approached the desk. She dropped a couple of files in front of Meg. ‘Did you and Suzie have a falling out?’
Meg wished it was that easy. It was usual for Suzie and she not to see eye to eye on quite a few issues, and Suzie had the awful habit of telling Meg exactly what she thought in the bluntest way. Meg was the first to admit that Suzie was an acquired taste, but Joyce was way off the mark this time.
‘You could say that.’ Meg bit her lip. Or rather Suzie had been all for falling in while she’d fallen flat. ‘I’ll call her later.’
‘A reporter called and wanted an interview.’ Joyce straightened the papers on her desk. ‘I said I’d have to check with you.’
Meg sighed and picked up a file. It had had to come, she supposed. Her designs had done well in a fashion show last week, and it was only natural the media and the public were interested in who she was and where she’d come from. Only she wasn’t ready to tell. Not yet. ‘Can you stall him? I’m so busy at the moment.’
‘Are you sure?’ Joyce appeared unconvinced. She dithered around the room, dusting the knick-knacks Meg liked to scatter over the shelves.
‘Back to the grind,’ Meg hinted.
Joyce stopped at the door and patted her coloured hair into place before turning the handle. ‘Your one o’clock has arrived early.’
‘No worries. Send her in.’ Better to get stuck into work than dwell on Jake and her traitorous body. How could he still affect her like that?
‘It’s a him. By himself.’ Joyce closed the door.
A ‘him’ was unusual. She catered for rich women who wanted original outfits for exclusive events. In all the time she’d been in business not one man had come in on his own.
Meg stood up and smoothed down her red top, flicking the creases out of her black trousers. She positioned herself squarely behind her desk, primed to set a good first impression.
The door opened. ‘A Mr Jacob Adams,’ Joyce announced cheerily, hanging onto the doorhandle whilst admiring the visitor’s tall, well-proportioned figure as he walked in.
Meg stared dumbly at Jake.
It wasn’t as if her appointment book was empty. He’d either used his charm or his money on Joyce. Or he’d known well in advance where she was and their meeting today at the restaurant had been no accident. Meg tensed. ‘Thank you, Joyce,’ she said as calmly as she could manage.
Meg glared at Jake. How long had he known where she was? More importantly, how much did he know? Her knees gave out from under her and she disguised her collapse into her high-backed leather chair with as much dignity and grace as she could muster.
The door closed and she leant forward. ‘What the blazes are you doing here?’ She willed her weakness to vanish so she could come out of her corner fighting. There was no way she was coming out of this second best.
Jake stood there casually, looking as strong and confident on her turf as he would anywhere, she guessed. He carried with him an air of confidence that chafed. His hair seemed a little more ruffled and he’d opened another button on his shirt since lunch, revealing the light scattering of chest hair that she’d used to coil her fingers in.
He strode towards her. ‘I want answers.’
‘Well, get used to living with disappointment.’ She stood up, to feel less intimidated by his height, his breadth, his power. Her legs held.
What gave him the right to come and demand anything? He had chosen what was important to him and it wasn’t her. She had gone on without him, managing quite well, on and off. ‘What did you do? Bribe my secretary or use your deadly charm on her?’
‘Neither.’ He shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘I did it the old-fashioned way—I made an appointment over the phone three days ago.’
She pressed her lips together and swallowed the rumble of distrust in her belly. It wasn’t coincidence that she’d met him at the restaurant. ‘You haven’t been following me, have you?’
‘Your secretary assured me that my appointment fell just before your lunch hour, Meg. I had planned to invite you to eat with me, but you’d already gone when I stopped in earlier.’
He probably couldn’t stand to wait for her as she’d done for him a million times before. Not just for minutes or hours, but day upon day, month upon month.
Meg shrugged. At least she had something to thank Suzie for—her surprise visits always sent her schedules awry, and today was the perfect day for it. Though maybe it would have been better to have met Jake in private first, rather than in the busy restaurant. At least here she could tell him exactly where to go in the least polite way.
‘So I made a few modest enquiries about your movements, and—’ He ran his eyes over her. ‘You know the rest.’
Meg walked over to her cabinet. She fingered the small, intricate crystal animals—a meditative practice that had always worked before to centre her thoughts. But not today. Not with Jake standing right there in her office, barely two metres away from her. She imagined she could feel the heat of his body radiating from him. She turned to face him. ‘I want you to go.’
He covered the distance between them in a moment, his large hands wrapping around her shoulders. ‘I’ve lived long enough without answers, and I’m not leaving your side without them.’
A familiar shiver of awareness coursed through her body and she raised her head to look directly into his face. ‘I’ll call the police,’ she challenged.
His firm mouth pulled tight and his eyes bored into hers with an intensity that jolted her senses. She moistened her dry lips.
‘Go ahead. I’m sure they’ll be interested to hear that you’ve dragged them away from real cases just because you’re scared of talking to me.’
Meg tried to regain some composure, but she found it difficult even to think straight with his hands branding her arms. ‘That’s not fair.’
‘Life’s not fair.’ Amusement glinted in his eyes.
‘Tell me about it.’ It wasn’t fair he could still twist her words against her. She bit into her bottom lip fiercely. ‘You spoke to Suzie, didn’t you?’
‘Suzie was very keen to talk about you.’
Her stomach lurched. Suzie had better not have told him everything, or the world would soon be short one gossipmonger. ‘And herself, no doubt.’
‘Is that jealousy I hear, Megan J?’ He watched her intently. ‘What’s with the J anyway?’
Heat flooded her cheeks. ‘J is for James. It’s my middle name. Not that you’d remember.’ Her father hadn’t been able to bear the idea of not using his father’s name for his only child—a curse when she was young which had finally turned out a blessing when she’d decided to disappear. And it was perfect for her fashion label.
Jake’s deep green eyes were dangerously warm. ‘Meg, what went wrong?’
The tenderness in his tone shocked her. She looked to her pale ceiling. The wrenching ache in the back of her throat took her by surprise, but she wasn’t about to fall into that trap. ‘If you don’t know then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought you were.’
‘That’s unfair.’ His grip tightened and his eyes searched hers, as if probing the depths of her soul for answers to questions he couldn’t form. ‘We were young.’
It was a statement. She didn’t need to answer. She didn’t want to speak in case she broke the silence.
Meg’s ears filled with Jake’s sharp, uneven breathing. She looked into his face and the sizzling promise in his eyes scared her.
‘And now we’re all grown up.’ She twisted in his arms and struggled to free herself from his embrace before he did something stupid. ‘Can you stick around and face reality?’
He flinched. ‘You don’t think I know what’s real? While you were home I was out working in the real world. Not just tame work in some office. Out in vicious temperatures, remote wild places—it was hard. Harder than you can imagine; harder than you’ll ever have to experience.’
She stabbed her finger into his chest. ‘You have no idea what I’ve been through, Jacob Adams, and I don’t think you would know real life if you fell over it. What you described isn’t real! It sounds like some adventure a Boy Scout would go on—but when he gets home there are people there who need him to stay, not for him to find the next big adventure going.’
‘We needed money.’ His voice softened. ‘I needed to work.’ His hands relaxed their grip on her arms and he ran his thumbs gently along her skin.
Her body screamed for all the years of loneliness and neglect. She felt an unwelcome surge of excitement. Making love was the one thing in which they had been in total agreement and unison, and her loins ached at the thought. ‘I could have done with less, much less.’
He raked a hand through his dark hair and stared boldly into her eyes.
She held them.
Jake pulled her against his hard body and wrapped her in his warm embrace. She could feel his chin resting against the side of her head, hear him breathing in her perfume, her shampoo, her very essence, and her heart wrenched at the futility of it all.
She pulled back and searched his face.
He was intense, watching her lips.
Meg’s heart thudded against her ribs. The vulnerability in his eyes frightened her more than anything else.
He leant towards her and touched her lips with his. The caress was feather-light, sending her stomach into a wild swirl.
His kiss gradually deepened and she surrendered to the sensations running wild in her body. It was the goodbye kiss they’d never had.
His mouth moved over hers, devouring its softness, exploring and caressing, and a hunger attacked her. She responded like an animal, wanton and abandoned, and the pain of the past faded in the wake of the passion he was evoking in her.
