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“Hi, Rich.”
His eyes refused to meet hers, and her stomach twisted into a tight knot as he entered her home. He removed his coat and hung it in the closet as though he intended to stay for a while. Jamie didn’t know whether she should take encouragement from that or not.
“Dinner’s in the oven. Will you join me?”
He nodded, although she suspected he hadn’t heard what she’d said.
“It’s a new recipe…. I seem to be in a cooking mode lately. Tamale pie—I found the recipe on the back of a cornmeal box. I’ve always liked Mexican food.”
“Me, too.”
“Would you care for some coffee?”
“Sure.”
He followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “I suppose you’re wondering what I’ve decided,” he said when she brought him his coffee.
It was all she could do not to demand he tell her right then and there. Waiting even one more minute seemed too long. She pulled out the chair across from him and sat down. She was so anxious, her hands were trembling and she clasped them in her lap, not wanting to give herself away.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking since the last time we spoke,” he began.
If the lines around his eyes and mouth were any indication, his thoughts had been serious indeed. It didn’t look as though he’d slept much in the past week. For that matter, neither had she.
“I’m sure it hasn’t been an easy decision.”
“No, it hasn’t,” he said pointedly. “Before I say anything else, there are a few things I’d like to get straight. Once I do, you may change your mind.”
“I’m not going to do that,” Jamie said confidently.
His eyes held hers. “Don’t be so sure. First and foremost, I want full parental privileges. This child will be as much a part of me as he or she is of you.” He spoke forcefully, as though he anticipated an argument.
“What … what exactly do you mean by parental privileges?”
“I want a say in how the child will be raised, as much of a say as you. That means when it comes time to choose a preschool, I’ll expect you to confer with me. I don’t want you moving out of the area, either. At least not without me being informed and in full agreement, but I can tell you right now, I won’t agree.”
“Okay,” she said hesitantly. The only reason she’d even brought up the subject of moving was to simplify the situation for him. It wasn’t what she wanted at all. “Anything else?”
“I’m just getting started. If we go ahead with this, I want visitation rights.”
“Of course. I have no intention of hiding the child from you.”
“That’s not what I understood earlier,” he said, frowning.
“I … know. I should have thought this through more carefully before I approached you. I’d come up with the idea of you being the baby’s father the same night I talked to you. When I showed up at your place, the idea was only half formed.”
Rich seemed cold and distant. It was almost as if they were negotiating something highly controversial and there was no room for friendliness. No room for personal feelings.
“Does that mean you’ve changed your mind?” he asked.
“No … no, just that I hadn’t worked everything out as extensively as I should have before I came to you. It hadn’t dawned on me that you’d care one way or the other about the child. I realize now how insensitive that was of me. I apologize for that, Rich, I really do.”
“Of course I’d care about the child!”
“I know. If you want full visitation rights, and a say in how the child’s brought up, then that’s only fair. I have no objections. None whatsoever.”
“I’m also going to insist you accept child support.”
“But, Rich, that really isn’t necessary. I make a decent wage and—” She stopped abruptly at the way his eyes hardened.
“Then the deal’s off.”
She took a moment to compose herself. “Since that’s clearly an important issue to you,” she said carefully. “I’ll be willing to accept whatever monetary support you deem necessary.”
“Emotional support, as well. I don’t want you walking the floors at night with a colicky baby.”
“What do you expect me to do?”
“Phone me.”
He was making everything so much more complicated than it needed to be. “You don’t expect me to call you over every little thing, do you?”
“Yes,” he said emphatically. “I want all the arrangements between us clear as glass before the blessed event. We’ll share the responsibilities.”
When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Having second thoughts yet?”
“Not … really. Is this everything?”
“It isn’t.” He stood and opened the oven, checking the casserole that was baking inside. He let the door close slowly.
“You mean there’s more?”
“One small item.”
“One small item,” Jamie repeated, assuming she wouldn’t have any more trouble with this than his other demands.
“If we do decide to go ahead and have a child together …”
“And I think we should,” she said, smiling over at him.
“Fine. Great. Wonderful. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Good. In that case, I insist we get married.”
Four
Jamie was too confused to think clearly. Surely Rich didn’t mean what he’d just said. It made no sense. “Married … but … you can’t be serious.”
“I’ve rarely been more serious in my life,” Rich answered, stalking to the far side of her kitchen. He removed two dinner plates from her cupboard and set them on the table. “Naturally, this wouldn’t be a conventional marriage.”
“Naturally,” Jamie echoed, still too bewildered to understand his reasoning. “Then … why are you insisting on a wedding?”
“I want the child to have my name. I don’t care if that no longer matters to most people. It matters to me.”
“Oh.”
“We’ll continue to maintain our separate residences. For all intents and purposes, nothing will change, at least not outwardly. Except that we’ll be sharing the care and custody of a child.”
Jamie stood in front of the silverware drawer and closed her eyes, trying to force her heart to stop pounding so hard. Rich had made it plain this wasn’t any love match—not that she’d ever suspected it would be. Nevertheless, her heart had reacted fiercely to his insistence on a wedding. Because she couldn’t help associating marriage with love, despite a great deal of evidence to the contrary.
“What about the pregnancy? I mean … how do you think I should get pregnant?” By the time the question was complete, her voice had dwindled to a whisper.
“You could always seduce me.”
Furious, Jamie whirled around and glared at Rich. She could feel the hot blush warming her cheeks, “I should never have admitted that. You’re going to throw it in my face at every opportunity, aren’t you?”
“No,” he denied, but his eyes were sparkling with the blue light of laughter. “I agree with you. Sex between us would ruin everything. I don’t want to risk our friendship any more than you do.”
The tension eased from between Jamie’s shoulder blades.
“We’ll need to keep the marriage a secret.”
“For how long?” If their child was to have his name, they’d eventually have to tell their families. Jamie wasn’t keen on facing her mother with a surprise marriage to go along with a pregnancy. Doris Warren wouldn’t take kindly to being cheated out of a wedding any more than Rich’s mother would.
“We’d only stay married until the baby’s born,” Rich explained, revealing no hint of indecision, and certainly no doubts. He apparently had the whole situation worked out to his own satisfaction.
Unfortunately, he’d completely unsettled Jamie. She’d had everything organized and none of her plans included marriage, even a marriage of convenience. The questions were popping up faster than she could ask them.
“What are we going to say after the baby’s born?” she demanded.
“That we’re getting a divorce.”
Jamie felt the sudden need to sit down again. “That we’re getting a divorce?” she repeated. Already she could imagine her mother’s shock and dismay. Not only would Jamie have married without telling her, but she’d be obtaining a divorce.
“It makes sense once you think about it,” Rich continued with matchless confidence.
Maybe it did to him, but Jamie felt as though she were wandering through the dark, lost and confused, bumping into walls she didn’t know were there. It had all seemed so simple the night she’d approached Rich.
He pulled out a chair and placed his foot on the seat, resting his right elbow on his knee. “We’ll get married at the courthouse as quietly as possible. There’s no reason for anyone to know.”
“That much I understand…. I’m just not convinced it’s necessary.”
“I am,” he said adamantly.
“All right, all right,” she muttered, swiping one hand through her hair. What had seemed such an uncomplicated idea had suddenly taken on more twists and turns than a country road.
“You’ll agree to the wedding?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic.”
“I’m not.” She sighed loudly.
“As soon as the ink’s dry on the marriage certificate, we can make an appointment with the gynecologist….”
“Good grief, what are we going to tell him?” Jamie didn’t relish that task. If Rich wanted to explain why two healthy, normal, married adults who wanted a baby would choose such an unconventional method, then more power to him.
“We won’t tell him anything. He’s a professional—he isn’t going to ask a lot of questions. It’s none of his business, anyway.”
“Rich … I don’t know about this.”
“If you have doubts, then I suggest you spill them now.”
“I’m not sure getting married is the right thing. We don’t have to go through a wedding ceremony for the baby to have your name. Couldn’t you legally adopt him or her after the birth?”
“Why complicate everything?”
“And marriage isn’t going to do that?” Jamie cried.
“Marriage will accomplish the same thing now without the legal hassles of adoption later. As I said, it’ll be in name only.”
“Yes, I know, but …” She hesitated, trying to shape her objections in the form of a reasonable argument. When she spoke, her eyes met his. “You’re going to think I’m terribly old-fashioned.”
“The woman who asked me to be a sperm donor? Hardly!”
Jamie had the feeling it would take a long time to live that down. “Yes,” she said vehemently, “I suppose it has to do with my upbringing, but I’ve always considered marriage sacred. Somehow, it just doesn’t feel right to sneak off and get married and … and then arrange for a divorce nine months later.”
Rich was quiet for a moment. “I agree,” he finally said, “but this isn’t a normal marriage.”
“What marriage is?” Jamie asked, thinking of all the friends she’d known over the years who’d married. Each relationship was different from the others. She’d stood by and observed how some couples had grown closer in their love and commitment. Others had drifted further and further apart until it was too late.
“Nothing’s going to change, at least not outwardly,” Rich tried to reassure her once again. “We’re doing this for the child’s sake. And for yours.”
“For mine?”
Rich’s eyes narrowed slightly, and when he spoke his voice was cold. “I won’t allow your reputation to be damaged by an out-of-wedlock pregnancy.”
That was all well and good, but it was her reputation and if she had no objections, then he needn’t be concerned. “But Rich—”
“Furthermore,” he said, interrupting her. “I refuse to allow my son or daughter to be born a bastard.” He raised his hand. “Before you argue with me, I feel the same way about this as I do about the baby having my name. I don’t care if it’s important to anyone else. It is to me. Besides, why make a kid’s life any harder than it has to be?”
“You’ve got a point,” she whispered.
“Still, I can understand your hesitation.”
Jamie lowered her eyes. “It’s just that I expect you’ll want to marry someday. Sooner or later a woman’s going to come into your life and this marriage is going to complicate everything for you. What are you going to tell her about me—and the child?”
