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“Will you get a pet when you buy a house?”
“Don’t know if I’m buying a house.”
She gave him an assessing glance. “Does that mean you’re not staying here?”
“Not sure.”
He realized once the words were out of his mouth that she wasn’t pleased. She seemed to pull back. Her eyes searched the horizon. Silence stretched between them like an elastic band being pulled to the breaking point.
Finally she spoke. “How did you decide to come here? I mean, there must have been job opportunities in Bangor.”
“I came home. Sold my mom’s house and came here.” He shrugged. “Simple as that.”
“Isn’t that a little impulsive?”
He shook his head. “It’s just the way I am. I decided to go to Haiti in a matter of days.”
“Aren’t you afraid that an impulsive decision could lead to problems once you’ve had time to consider what you’ve done?”
“No. I don’t. I’ve always gone with my gut. For me, the right choice is the one I make the first time around. If I overthink a situation, I begin to doubt myself and end up making the wrong decision.”
“You mean you always make the easiest choice?”
This lady, this woman he’d become so infatuated with, didn’t believe in being even the slightest bit reckless or impulsive. “Depends on how you look at it.”
“And how do you look at it?” she said, her tone casual but the emotion behind it clear. She didn’t approve.
“Something meant to be...like when we met.”
She gave him a wry smile. “That wasn’t meant to be. That was Dr. Brandon’s order.”
“Depends on how you look at it,” he repeated.
“It was no accident that Dr. Brandon ordered blood work.”
“But you have to admit that it was an accident that brought me in to see the doctor.”
“Okay. We can agree on that much at least.” She walked beside him to his truck, turning to face him with her hands tucked into the pockets of those tight jeans of hers that made his pulse do seriously strange things. “You’ve been very kind. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“No man has been that kind to me, except my father. I loved him very much.” She rubbed her palms on the sides of her jeans, squinting up at the sky.
He stopped, surprised by her remark. This woman’s experience with men couldn’t have been all that great if fixing her fence had been such a big deal to her. “Your dad must have been pretty special. My father was the best. I miss him all the time. Mom, too, but it’s different with Dad.”
“My mother’s still alive, so I don’t know about that.”
He couldn’t keep his mind from running over the possible reasons why a woman as beautiful as Peggy Anderson had commented on how kindness was not a normal occurrence in her life. “Lucky you.”
“Not necessarily. I haven’t seen my mom in two years. Not since we had...” She rubbed her hands on her jeans. “You don’t need to hear all this.”
He reached the door of his truck aware that what he really wanted to do was to stay and learn more about this woman. He settled for taking her hand in his. “I do need to hear, if we’re going to be friends.”
“Friends?”
“Did you have more in mind?” he asked, keeping his tone light and noncommittal.
She shaded her eyes with her hand as she glanced over at the paddock. “I don’t have much of anything in mind,” she said, her voice soft, but her words offering a rebuke.
“You don’t seem to have much faith in people. Is there a reason?”
She returned her gaze to him, her expression unreadable. “What would you do if your mother had lied to you all your life?”
“Whoa! Don’t know. My mom and I were always close. Can’t imagine how that would feel.”
She turned to face him, a lost look in her eyes. “There are moments I wish I could call my mom, but too much time has passed, too many missed opportunities.”
He didn’t know what to say to her to ease the naked loneliness capturing her face. He wasn’t good at any of this sort of thing, of facing sadness or sorrow—part of why his experience in Haiti had been so difficult. Or so his therapist had said, back when he was still keeping his appointments with her.
“Tell you what. Why don’t we talk about what time I should pick you up? We both need a little cheering up, and the fire station fund-raiser sounds like fun.”
“Sure. I have to feed the horses after work, then get ready. Anytime after that.”
They agreed on a time, and he couldn’t help wishing that she’d wear the dress she’d worn when they went out to dinner the other night. He left her place, his spirits high, anticipation making him glad he’d decided to stay in Eden Harbor, at least for now.
The next evening the community center was packed with people by the time they got there. Delighted to hear that Peggy had a date for the fund-raiser, Gayle and Sherri had agreed to hold a table where the three couples could sit together. Peggy glanced around the room, immediately spotting Neill Brandon’s red hair and height above the crowd of people. “There they are,” she said, leaning into Rory so that her words could be heard over the noise of the crowd milling about.
“I’ll follow you,” he said, placing his hand in the small of her back, his fingers heated points against her cool skin. She wore the dress she’d worn to dinner, a last-minute decision, the result of getting home late because of a patient whose veins were difficult to find. The look in Rory’s eyes when he arrived to pick her up told her she’d made a good choice.
She had been looking forward to tonight since she woke up this morning; such a relief not to be thinking about her doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Although it would feel really strange to be socializing with Dr. Brandon tonight, when he had news that would either put her mind at ease or change her life. Her stomach fluttered at the thought.
They approached the group at the table together, the expression on each of their faces one of open curiosity. She forced all thoughts of tomorrow from her mind. Tonight she promised to enjoy herself. She introduced Rory. Just as they went to sit down, a woman came up to Rory and thanked him for fixing her mother’s front steps. Peggy couldn’t help but notice that the woman didn’t give anyone else at the table one moment of attention. Not even Dr. Brandon, the man everyone admired for coming home to practice medicine and marry his high school sweetheart.
Gayle leaned over to Peggy. “Is she flirting with him?” she asked.
“Yep.” Peggy sighed. “Hope the whole evening doesn’t end up this way.”
“I doubt it. I saw the look in Rory’s eyes as he escorted you over here to the table. The man’s hooked on you.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know. Open your eyes, Peggy, and see what’s right in front of you,” Gayle whispered.
What if Rory was hooked on her? Was it possible? Could someone care for her so quickly, so easily?
She really liked him, but like was a long way from love. Yet as she sat beside him, his shoulder brushing hers as he talked to the woman, she wanted Gayle’s words to be true.
Peggy’s breath caught as Rory turned his attention back to her. She met his easy smile, saw the awareness in his eyes. A wonderful feeling of intimacy warmed her, making her a little anxious about what would happen next. She regretfully realized she didn’t want any man hooked on her right now, not until she knew the outcome of her test. “Everyone at the table seems to have something to drink. Can I get you something?” he asked, leaning into her space, making her neck tingle.
“I’ll have a glass of white wine.”
“Me, too,” he said close to her ear before going to the bar.
“Who would have thought that the six of us would be here this evening?” Sherri asked, her hand resting on the table, displaying her wedding ring. It had been only a few weeks since Neill and Sherri’s wedding, and people were still talking about it. The general consensus was that it had been the social event of the year.
Adding to the excitement, Gayle and Nate were now engaged to be married. Peggy felt like Alice in wedding land. Of course, she was very happy for both her friends, even though at times she had to admit to being a little bit envious. Sherri and Neill were deep in conversation as were Nate and Gayle, leaving Peggy with time to look around at all the people at the fund-raiser. Moving here had been the biggest risk she’d ever taken, and it had paid off. She was happy here, content with her life, her job and her horses. She’d been happy to settle for all of that until she’d met Rory.
She was searching the crowd for him when he came toward her, two glasses in his hands. As he reached their table, the band began to play. Rory put the glasses down and took her hand. “This is our song.”
“Our song?” she asked as she rose. “We don’t have a song.”
He pulled her into his arms. “We do now. A nice waltz, I’m pleased to report. What is it, by the way?”
“You don’t know?”
He held her close, the powerful muscles in his arms cradling her. “I haven’t a clue. But I must say it’s perfect for what I want to do.”
“And that is?”
“Hold you while we sway to the music.” He smiled down at her. “I think it only fair to warn you that I’ve never had dance lessons. I make it up as I go.”
“Fair enough. If you make moves I can’t follow, I’ll stand on your feet and you can carry me around.”
His laugh was open and genuine. “Hang on, princess,” he said, swinging her around as he moved through the other couples on the dance floor, his body locked to hers in such a way that she couldn’t move. Besides, she didn’t want to move, to let go of him, or even to make conversation with him. Not right now. Now was the time to simply enjoy and have fun with this handsome man who was drawing looks from virtually every woman in the room.
Later she danced with Nate and again with Rory and with one of her regular patients at the phlebotomy clinic. Sherri was dancing with other men, leaving Neill Brandon to dance with whomever he chose. He hadn’t chosen her, and she couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t. Were the results of her mammogram bad?
When the party ended, they all walked out together. Peggy had never been part of a group of couples and felt really pleased that tonight she was.
“See you at work tomorrow,” Gayle said.
“It was nice to meet all of you,” Rory said, his arm snugly around Peggy.
All the way home Peggy couldn’t shake her anxiety over tomorrow, when she would learn the test results. Tonight had been perfect, fun and exciting. But if she got a bad report, she would have to rethink any relationship hopes she had where Rory was concerned. She could not focus on a relationship if she had to face the kind of changes being diagnosed with breast cancer would mean to her life.
If she got bad news tomorrow, she was alone, without family here in Eden Harbor and would have to rely on her friends for support.
She wanted to call her mom and talk all of this over. Her mother had had breast cancer when Peggy was a preteen. She’d never really talked to her about what it had been like. In fact, she hadn’t talked to her mom ever since she’d learned that her father, Marcus Anderson, wasn’t her birth father, a lie she could not forgive her mother for perpetuating. She loved her dad, and he’d loved her very much.
“Would a penny cover it?” he asked.
“Pardon?”
“Your thoughts. You haven’t said a word since you got into the cab of my truck.”
She glanced over at him, his open smile, his dark eyes focused on hers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
“Not a problem,” he said, but she recognized the tone of a man who felt he’d been ignored.
As Rory pulled into her driveway, Peggy gathered her purse and her shawl preparing to leave and go into the house. Rory shut off the engine. Peggy reached for the door.
“What’s the hurry?” he asked, his voice low and sensual.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said, opening the door and flooding the interior of the truck with soft light.
“We both do,” he said, squinting in the sudden brightness. “That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“You mean we go into my house and do what?” she asked. She didn’t want to sound harsh, but she did need to be alone right now. Rory would probably not understand that, which meant he’d make his polite good-night, and she wouldn’t hear from him again.
“As I told you before, I’m a good listener if you—”
“I really have to go in. Please understand.”
He shrugged. “I get it. I read the signs wrong. You’re not interested in continuing further.”
“That’s not true! I’m sorry if you think that.”
“Then tell me what to think. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t. Not right now.” She found herself searching his face for some sense that he understood.
“So you want me to believe that you’re interested in me, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Or next month. Whenever.”
She heard the rising tone of his voice, and her tummy touched her toes. She couldn’t share her worry with a stranger, and he didn’t seem to be aware that she needed privacy. Obviously, he was disappointed that she hadn’t invited him into her house. She’d read this script before. Another time. Another place. Another man. “I want to go in and go to bed. I have a lot riding on tomorrow, and I need to be ready to face it. If you cannot accept that, then—”
He leaned across the console, placed his large hand firmly behind her head, drew her face to his and kissed her. A simple kiss that claimed her. She reached up to touch his face, to feel the faint stubble on his cheeks, the pulse along his chin line. He gently blocked her hand with his. Then ever so quietly he ended the kiss, nearly driving her wild with need.
“I believe I’ve made my point. Have a good night. Dream of me if you like,” he said, a light teasing tone back in his voice. He touched his forehead to hers, and suddenly she wished he could come in. She wished she wasn’t so anxious about her health, her life, about so many things. A sharp pang of regret tightened her throat, making words impossible. He was being so kind, so very much the man she’d imagined she’d meet one day.
“We’ll continue this at a later date,” he whispered, planting another kiss on the end of her nose.
As her heart pounded and her thoughts scrambled, she clambered out the door of the truck toward her house. She’d wanted to stay right there with him, to let him kiss her until they had no choice but to move to her bedroom. She wanted it but she couldn’t have it. Not tonight, and maybe not for a very long time.
He was everything she wanted and everything she couldn’t afford emotionally. Not when so much of her life would revolve around what the doctor had to say.
Yanking off her clothes, she climbed under her duvet and curled up into a ball. She’d never felt so alone in her life. All of it her doing, but still every bit as painful.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_4a5d020e-ba7b-5834-8275-1f3c73545f38)
PEGGY WENT INTO WORK, her mind on her doctor’s appointment scheduled for eleven o’clock at Dr. Brandon’s office. She had hoped that his office might call to say the mammogram was negative, but they hadn’t. To her that meant only one thing. She drew in a deep breath to ward off the tears.
She hadn’t eaten a bite, nor had she slept until around four o’clock, when she finally fell exhausted into a deep sleep, during which she dreamed that someone was calling to her. She’d awoken sweaty and disoriented, believing that someone was in the house looking for her. A long shower helped clear her head of the dream, a shower during which she didn’t touch her breast.
When she reached the phlebotomy clinic, she turned on her computer at her workstation in preparation for the day ahead. Gayle came by her desk, leaning her arm on the counter, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Want to talk about it?”
“I’m scared, Gayle. I don’t know what I’ll do if this is cancer. If I have to go to Portland or Bangor for treatment, leave my job for days on end, find someone to look after my horses while I’m sick...” She tried to breathe over her fear, to draw air in past the knot in her throat.
“Sherri and I are here for you. We’ll do anything we can to help.”
