скачать книгу бесплатно
“We’ll get through this,” he whispered close to her ear. “There is nothing we can’t do if we put our minds to it. I made a mistake, but I’m willing to make it up to you. As for the child, there is no way that little girl is mine. And I’ll prove it by having the DNA testing redone in a reputable lab.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, her voice low as she looked into his eyes.
“This is one giant mistake on someone’s part, and I’ll prove it.” He put his arm around her shoulders and led her to the sofa, all the while feeling her resistance. “I should never have told you about Deidre the way I did. It was thoughtless and hurtful. There’s nothing I can do to fix that, but if you’ll go with me while we establish that I’m not the father, then we can work on us.”
“It’s not that simple, Aidan. I’m not going to go along with whatever you want. I’ve had enough of that. You don’t really believe that this will be over so easily, do you?” she demanded, pushing his hands away.
“I don’t know, but I want to see if I can start to make things right with you. Grace, I can’t bear to lose you, and we will get through this. I’ll make a reservation at an inn in Spartanburg, and after all this is behind us we will continue what we started here,” he said. “That is, if you want to.”
“I don’t know what I want. The only thing I’m certain of is that this is a long way from over.”
Aidan saw the misery in his wife’s eyes and his heart contracted in his chest. How could he have done this to her? “Grace, I have been so damned stupid. You deserve better than what I’ve given you by way of explanation. I’m sorry about everything, but most of all I’m sorry for causing you such pain. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. And I promise you that we will figure this out. Just give us time.”
She gave him a harsh look he’d never seen before. His stomach sank as he realized the monumental task ahead of him.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, as they drove toward Spartanburg, would have been so pleasant if not for the impending meeting. Aidan had lain awake for hours wondering how the DNA test showed him to be the father. And if he was the father, why hadn’t Deidre told him? As he thought about it, he couldn’t help but wonder why, when she had no immediate family, she hadn’t told him—if it were true. No woman would want to go through a birth and the raising of a child without some sort of family support.
And why had she done the test if she didn’t plan to tell him? Had she had a relationship with another man and wanted to be certain that he couldn’t claim the child? She was obviously a rich woman. Had a man she’d dated tried to say the daughter was his?
The lawyer hadn’t said how old the little girl was. Maybe she was too young to be his daughter. He knew the exact weekend he’d spent with Deidre, so if the child had been born more than nine months after that, she couldn’t be his. Had Deidre appointed him guardian because she thought he would do what he could for her daughter, regardless of whether or not he was the father?
As he mulled it all over, he could not understand her motivations. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t figure out why she would keep the paternity of her daughter a secret, yet name him as the child’s father in her will. It made zero sense. Even if Deidre was trying to prevent another man from gaining custody of the child, there were more effective—and less destructive—ways to do so.
For now, he would concentrate on the road ahead and trying to ease Grace’s concerns about what they’d face at the lawyer’s office. “I booked us into the nicest inn around the area. Might as well enjoy being comfortable while we get this over with.”
He glanced at her, at the way her golden hair fell around her cheeks, at her beautiful lips and the set of her chin. All features he was intimately acquainted with and loved about her. He squeezed her hand. “We’re going to be fine. This will be settled easily. I’ll have our lawyer look after the details of a second DNA test and then we’ll head back home. When we get home I’d like us to plan a trip to Europe. We’ve talked about it, but now I think we should do it. We’ve earned our time away to explore all those places we learned about in school. What do you say?”
“Aidan, will you stop? We—if there is a we when this is over—have more important things to deal with.”
“But all this doesn’t change the fact that we deserve a wonderful trip away from here, from my business and all that it entails. I’m also offering you the shopping trip of a lifetime—anywhere in Europe you’d like to go. You’ll have a chance to shop to your heart’s content. Will you think about it?”
“Let’s get this meeting over first,” Grace said, her lips set in a firm line.
She didn’t touch his arm as she often did when they were driving together. He missed her touch, the way it made him feel.
They drove into downtown Spartanburg to the address they had for the law office. It was an elegant older home just off the main street with a wide verandah and tall white columns flanking the entranceway. Upon entering the cool, open foyer, they were greeted by a woman wearing an impeccable navy suit. She smiled at them as she introduced herself and led them to a quiet, high-ceilinged room at the rear of the building. “Mr. Knowles will be with you momentarily. Is there anything I can get either of you? A coffee perhaps? Soft drink?”
“Nothing for me,” Aidan said as Grace shook her head.
Aidan focused on the space to keep his mind from what was about to happen. The wood paneling and large window with teal satin drapes that looked out into the back garden dominated the room. There was no desk, only an antique table and chair placed along the wall near the window. The opposite wall contained a credenza that spanned its length. “This isn’t your typical lawyer’s office,” Aidan said to overcome the hushed silence of the room.
“This must be one of those boutique law firms that specializes in estate work,” Grace said, remaining where she’d stood since they walked into the room.
He came toward her, his arms aching to wrap her in his embrace. “Are you okay? You were pretty quiet in the car.”
She shrugged. “What did you expect from me under the circumstances?”
“I—I don’t know. Maybe a word of encouragement?”
“Really? You wrecked my life. You insisted that I come here. What more can you ask of me?”
The door opened and a man entered, his navy tailored suit and gold tie a perfect accent for the room, his dark hair and mustache impeccable. “I’m Larry Knowles. So glad you could make it today,” he said without shaking hands. “Shall we get started?” he asked, pointing to the two chairs across from the table. He smoothed his tie as he sat. “Mr. Fellowes, as I explained on the phone, you have been named by Ms. MacPherson to be guardian of her only daughter. She has left very clear instructions as to how this will be worked out.”
“Please stop right there. My wife and I, for personal reasons, do not believe that I am the biological parent of this child. We want the DNA test done by a reputable lab of our choosing before we go any further with this discussion.”
Larry Knowles sat back in his chair, a surprised look on his face. “DNA is conclusive proof as far as I’m aware.”
“That’s assuming that the samples gathered were handled correctly, and that the lab followed strict procedures. I am not aware as to how or where my DNA was collected, and if it was collected in such a way to establish it was mine. It certainly was done without my permission. How have you determined that the DNA used to establish paternity was, in fact, mine?” he asked, his gaze locked on this annoying man who seemed so confident.
“It’s true that I cannot personally vouch for the authenticity of the sample. Of course, I’m relying on Ms. MacPherson’s information,” the lawyer said, showing his first moment of uncertainty.
“Then it only seems right to me, given how much is at stake, that the testing be done again. I’m sure there is lots of Ms. MacPherson’s DNA still present in her home, and I’m willing to provide a fresh sample for examination.”
Larry Knowles looked straight at Aidan, started to say something, then stopped. He glanced quickly at Grace, then back to Aidan. “I have no reason whatsoever to doubt Deidre MacPherson. She was a friend as well as a client. But I do see your point. My only wish is that you do it quickly as possible. Emma is living in her home with her nanny, and this needs to be resolved.”
“What happens to Emma when it is proven that my husband isn’t the father?” Grace asked.
“You have to understand that Deidre was absolutely positive that your husband was the father of her little girl. Having no close family she wanted to give her daughter to, she chose the biological father as guardian in the event Deidre didn’t live to see her child grow to adulthood. If, for whatever reason, your husband doesn’t take the child, she will be a ward of the state, which means that foster care will have to be arranged,” the lawyer said.
“Are you certain there is no family for her?” Aidan asked. “None at all?”
“A cousin who is in her sixties.” The lawyer glanced between them. “Look, I know this is a shock for both of you. And I understand you feel there has been a serious mistake made. If you’ll give me the name of the lab you want to deal with, I will make arrangements for Emma to be tested along with you. But in the meantime, Deidre had one more request.”
“What is it?” Aidan asked, suddenly afraid that it might be some sort of burial request since she had no family. He didn’t want to put Grace through anything more than was necessary.
“Deidre put together a video of Emma’s life over the past four years. It’s simply a visual portrait of a little girl who was the light of her mother’s life. They were very close and Emma is a beautiful little girl. Deidre wasn’t certain how you’d respond to her last wishes and so she requested that you watch the video before you left my office. It won’t take long.”
He opened a drawer and brought out a laptop, setting it on the desk in front of Aidan and Grace. A few clicks and the screen glowed blue before the picture of a newborn appeared. “I’ll leave you to watch the video and be back in a few minutes.”
Unable to stop himself, Aidan leaned toward the screen. Slowly photos emerged, showing an infant asleep in her car seat, followed by her first steps and her wide smile, dressed in a Halloween teddy bear costume. A woman’s voice, carefully modulated, yet warm and upbeat, filled the room.
“Is that Deidre speaking?” Grace asked.
A chill ran along his shoulders. It felt as if Deidre were in the room. “Yes, I believe so... It’s been a while.” He would have recognized her voice anywhere. It was such a distinct mix of Southern drawl and New England twang.
“The child is so sweet.” Grace sighed. “How lucky she was to have such a beautiful baby girl.”
Slowly the images shifted to show the home she lived in, the front steps and the street in front of Deidre’s house. There were closer shots showing Emma’s rosy complexion and her glossy red curls. Aidan recognized the backgrounds in the photos—all were places around Deidre’s home and office.
Grace took his hand. “Have you seen any of these before?”
“No. Never,” Aidan said as the video showed Emma in a pink party dress, her red curls framing her face. There was something so familiar about her, about the way she cocked her head and smiled at the camera. Deidre could be heard in the background wishing Emma a happy third birthday.
The camera panned close, so that Emma’s face filled the screen. Aidan stared for a minute, slowly becoming aware of something he couldn’t mistake for anything other than what it was.
“Aidan. Look!” Grace cried. “She’s got the same cleft in her chin as you have. And her smile. Oh, God. Aidan. Her smile is yours.”
Aidan swallowed against the impact of the little girl’s face. She did have his chin... “A lot of people have the same feature. Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Fear mixed with foreboding clutched his heart. He moved his chair closer to Grace’s and pulled her hand into his lap. “This little girl is beautiful, but she could be anyone’s little girl,” he said, unable to grasp the truth of what he’d seen a few minutes ago.
The next photo was of Emma hugging a large teddy bear. Deidre’s voice could be heard once again. “Aidan, if you’re watching this, it means I am gone. I need you to care for our daughter. I had the DNA testing done just a few months after Emma was born. There is no doubt that you’re the father. Emma has your smile, your curls and that cute little cleft in her chin. My last wish is that you provide her with a loving home and care for her in my stead.”
The next photo slid onto the screen, a close-up showing Emma laughing at the camera as she clutched another teddy bear, this time a black one with a big red bow, her round cheeks glowing. She moved up close to the camera. Close enough to see every feature on her tiny face. The smile was so endearing, the little girl so happy and carefree. This beautiful child was innocent and would pay the price if he denied her.
“She is your daughter and you are her father. Please love her with all your heart as I have. Please,” Deidre pleaded.
Grace pulled her hand away. “You believe her, don’t you,” she said, her voice cold and distant.
Disbelief shook him. What if this little girl was his daughter? What would he do if she were? Even the thought, the possibility of a child opened something inside him, something he’d never really felt before. He looked at Grace, saw her anguish and put his arm around her shoulders.
Grace pushed him away.
There had to be some mistake. It was so unreal—the lawyer’s call, the emotional trip here, the realization that there was a pretty good chance Deidre’s daughter was also his. “Grace, we are going to have the DNA test redone. We’ll pick a lab back in Charleston and I will pay whatever it takes to have the testing done as fast as possible. We won’t jump to any conclusions until then.” He cleared his throat. “This is so difficult for you, finding out that I had relations with Deidre. I’ve hurt you in ways I never intended...ever. But we’ll work this out, somehow. You’ll see.”
Grace wrapped her arms around her middle and nodded at the screen. “Aidan, look at her. She is so much like you in her appearance and her smile. How could you think this isn’t your child?” Her voice sounded choked with tears as she huddled in the corner of her chair.
“Grace, please, let’s wait and see.” As the video ended, despite his denials, he knew Emma was his daughter. He knew because the close-up shot revealed that Emma’s left eye held the same tiny glint of a different color that his mother’s had. A bit of pale yellow in the blue of the iris. A family trait. “Let’s get that lawyer in here and then we can arrange the testing. After that, we’ll go home and wait for the results.”
He rose, waiting for his wife to stand, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and convince her that what had happened five years ago had been long over, even before it began. “I love you. My relationship with Deidre was wrong and a complete betrayal of you and of us. Whatever the tests show, I want you to know that I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Slowly Grace stood, being careful to stay away from him. Regardless of what he wanted, he knew she would not allow him to touch her. “My only hope is that you see your way clear to forgive me,” he said.
Without looking at him, she said, “Aidan, I can’t forgive you. Every part of my life has changed, all because you betrayed what we had together.”
CHAPTER THREE (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER Grace placed a seafood casserole in the oven and set the timer. Her words in the lawyer’s office had proven prophetic, because everything about her life had changed. The drive home had been a long, silent one with each mile forcing her to face the cold truth. She could think of little else but what Aidan had done with that woman—a woman who claimed that her child was his.
The easy closeness Grace and Aiden had shared had disappeared as if it never existed. She’d moved into the guest bedroom, too tired to sleep as her mind went over that day at the Planters Inn.
Meanwhile, Aidan behaved as if nothing had changed. He’d worked long hours, as he always did. Because of his behavior, Grace couldn’t help but worry that maybe Deidre wasn’t the only affair he’d had, that he might have spent the past few nights in the arms of another woman. She was embarrassed at how naive and foolish she’d been to never question anything her husband had told her. She’d even considered hiring a private detective to follow him, something she was deeply ashamed of, but she’d found herself doing all sorts of things she would never have dreamed of a month ago.
She’d given everything, every part of herself, to her marriage. She’d never once considered having an affair, and she despised the fact that her husband had felt the need to have one. Sure, it had been rough going through the tests, trying to have a baby. But he wasn’t the only one wishing that it could be over while praying for a baby to make their life together complete.
What hurt most was that now she had to face the fact that he didn’t want a baby nearly as much as she did. He could deny that, but it was true. He’d seen fit to have a fling with someone during the darkest period of her life, and he’d resisted talking to the adoption lawyer.
She’d begun to realize that all her plans for a happy life with Aidan that included children lay in ruins. A part of her was sure that there was nothing left between them.
She realized that most of her friends would see her willingness to try to repair her marriage as degrading and pointless, given his infidelity. But despite these past few weeks, she knew Aidan to be a decent man.
To talk about adoption in the middle of this crisis was pure denial on her part. Yet she hadn’t let go of that dream, that possibility of getting a child. She supposed, underneath it all, she needed to keep her life as normal as possible and to believe that she and Aidan had a chance to survive this if they worked hard enough.
So she’d made dinner. For them and two of their friends, Cecilia and Dave. As though everything was fine. As though Grace and Aidan were actually considering adoption. It was better than facing the evening alone, which was what she’d been doing since seeing the photos of Emma.
Aidan came up behind her and put his hands on her waist, something that had always made her lean back into his embrace. “Grace, I’ve finished setting the table. Anything else I can do?” he whispered close to her ear, sending tiny points of excitement hurtling down her body. She resisted the urge to lean into him and, instead, ran hot water into the sink in preparation for cleaning the frying pan and spatulas she’d used.
He continued to hold her gently yet securely. She was powerless to resist him. “Grace, I know how hard this has been for you, this waiting and wondering.”
She turned in his arms and gazed into his eyes, his body’s warmth drawing her closer. “If you really know how difficult this is for me, why haven’t you stayed home with me during the evening? It’s lonely here with no one to talk to about all this.”
He bowed his head, his forehead touching hers. “I wish I had. Most of the time I sat in my office trying to face the truth about me, about what I’d done, how stupid I felt. Wherever my thoughts took me, one thing remained the same. This is my fault. I hurt you. I’m sorry. So sorry for what I did. I can’t say it enough.”
She wanted to resist him, make him pay for what he did to her, to them. But she needed his arms around her, needed to feel his body pressed into hers. She missed him so much, his lovemaking, his caring touch, the feeling that they would always be together. She put her arms around his neck and raised her face to his.
He reacted with a deep sigh of need, his lips touching hers, demanding and hot. She angled her body closer, feeling his erection against her tummy and writhing against it.
“Oh, Grace. I’ve missed you so much,” he said against her mouth, his breath hot on her lips.
“Me, too,” she whispered, pulling him closer, her need for him sweeping all other thoughts from her mind.
He picked her up. “We’ve got time,” he said, holding her tight as they started for the bedroom.
“You’re going to carry me upstairs?” she said, surprised. “You haven’t done that in years.”
“I may spend my days behind a desk but I can still carry my wife upstairs,” he said, his embrace firm as he maneuvered through the living room toward the stairs just as the phone rang.
A mechanical voice blared from the phone on the hall table. “Call from Knowles Attorney at Law. Call from Knowles Attorney at Law.”
He stopped. She slid from his arms. They stared at each other.
“You’d better take it,” Grace said, her voice strained, her heart doing a slow, hard pound in her chest. She watched her husband’s face as he spoke with the lawyer, his eyes on hers as he listened.
“I understand. So it’s conclusive.” He fidgeted with the handheld unit, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes swerving around the room. “Thanks. Yes. Please fax the results to my office as soon as you can.” He hung up, coming toward her, pulling her into his arms, his body pressed to hers. “The test results prove that Emma is my daughter. I can’t believe this. I have a daughter... How could I have a daughter?”
A chill ran down Grace’s spine. He said the words with a reverence she hadn’t heard from him before. “You mean you have a daughter.”
“I can’t believe it,” he said again, as if he hadn’t heard her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “But deep down, I knew by the spot of color in her left eye. I saw it. Mom had the same spot, the same yellow area in her iris.”
Grace stepped out of his arms. “You were sure the day we saw the video, but you didn’t tell me. You let me hope that there might be a chance that the DNA test was wrong. How could you?” she demanded.
He glanced at her, his expression gentle. “I wanted to protect you as long as I could. But, yes, I knew that Emma was my daughter. I don’t know how it could have happened, but it did.”
Anger flooded her at his selfish words. “How can you stand there and tell me you don’t know how it happened?” All these nights, he hadn’t been sitting in his office worried about her. He’d been thinking about his daughter and what that would mean to him. All the while, Grace had been home alone trying to make sense of what was going on and missing him with her whole heart.
“What do you mean?” he asked startled.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Aidan. You made this happen by having sex with this woman. How can you stand there and pretend this was fate when you broke our marriage vows?” Grace demanded, so angry she could barely breathe. “Stop lying to yourself,” she said as she stomped upstairs, anger filling her mind and soul with the stark realization that her marriage was over.
She turned at the top of the stairs to face him where he stood at the bottom looking up at her. “You had your fling and now you have your child. Congratulations.” With that she went into the guest bedroom and slammed the door. Throwing herself on the bed she cried until there were no tears left.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Grace awoke to the sound of the phone ringing, once again the stupid, mechanical voice announcing the caller, only this time, it was her friend Cecilia’s name. Grace didn’t have a clue whether they’d shown up last night or not. She hadn’t been able to hear anything over her tears.
Her whole life had been tossed, and that was all she could think about. She assumed that Aidan had dealt with dinner, but she couldn’t bring herself to care what he did. She owed her friends an apology, but she couldn’t do it right now. Her head ached, her mouth was dry and her whole body felt numb.
She heard Aidan’s voice, his consoling tone and his offer to have her call Cecilia back when she got up. But she wasn’t getting up for a very long time. Her life in this house was over. The man she’d thought she knew didn’t exist anymore. And instead, she was faced with the fact that her husband was completely absorbed with his present circumstances, leaving her to work out her feelings toward him alone, to cope with the loss of her dream all over again.
