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What were the two of them doing in there? Moving Prim to the sofa, Cate eased to the edge of Ruby’s room, close enough to hear but not be seen.
Prim let out an incriminating meow. She’d followed Cate and now rubbed against her leg. Cate nudged her gently away with her foot and put her finger to her lips in a shushing motion—as if the cat could understand her. The move only caused Prim to meow with interest and sneak between her feet as though they were playing a game. Cate’s hiding place wouldn’t last long at this rate.
Tea. She could make that cup she’d been craving earlier. It wasn’t eavesdropping if the kitchen happened to be almost directly across from Ruby’s doorway.
Cate made her way toward the pint-size kitchen as slowly as possible, her lungs constricting at the sound of Luc’s booming laughter mingling with Ruby’s sweet giggle. She caught sight of Luc perched on the bed and Ruby on the floor, her head bent in concentration as she showed him something.
And then, instead of finding herself in the kitchen, she was standing in the doorway. Both of them looked up as if questioning the reason for her presence.
“Hey, I...” ...wanted to hear what you were saying. “Does anyone want something to drink? Luc? I didn’t even offer.” When you showed up unannounced at my door.
Good thing none of these snarky thoughts were actually coming out of her mouth.
“I’m fine, thanks,” Luc answered, and Ruby shook her head.
Dismissed without a second thought. Eerily similar to her childhood. The emotion wrapped around Cate like an old, tattered blanket she’d tried to throw out more times than she could count. But somehow every time she opened her closet, there it was.
Cate microwaved water in her favorite Anthropologie monogram mug—a fabulous thrift-store find. At the insistent beeping that the microwave had finished its work, she popped open the door and dunked her finger into the liquid to check the temperature.
Ouch. She snatched her poor skin back out. Scalding.
Ripping open the calming tea bag—like it would make a dent in her current state of mind—Cate bobbed the trapped tea leaves in the cup, her agitation sending ripples across the water.
When she’d first found out she was pregnant with Ruby, Cate had felt vindicated in not contacting Lucas. He’d never tried to fix what had gone wrong between them or answer the accusations she’d questioned him about in the end. Yes, she’d confronted him about cheating on her after a friend had tipped her off. But Cate had just wanted answers. Wanted Luc to tell her he wasn’t seeing someone else and confirm the truth she already felt in her bones. He had quickly denied doing anything of the sort...but the more she’d pushed for details, the more he’d shut down.
They’d fought and said so many horrible things to each other.
Cate sipped her tea, leaning back against the countertop, eyes closed against the memory of that night as hot liquid coated her throat. Man, they’d been young. Stubborn. And completely inconsiderate of each other.
Finally, she’d told him to leave. To never contact her again.
The strangest part was, he’d listened. Cate didn’t plan to tell the man currently one room away from her that she’d waited for him to fight for her. To love her. She’d wanted to have a calm conversation about what happened—to find out the truth and listen to Luc—not just lob accusations back and forth.
But she hadn’t heard from him after that night. Only radio silence.
Cate crumpled the tea package while blinking away unwanted moisture. She tossed it into the garbage and slammed the cupboard door shut. But the askew trash can blocked it from closing, not giving her the pleasure of a loud crash.
She attempted to leave it for all of two seconds, then groaned and opened the door, straightening the wastebasket so that the cabinet shut flush.
After Ruby had been born and the heart defect had been found, Cate had been so focused on her daughter that she’d attempted to put Luc out of her mind.
She’d decided she was right to keep Ruby to herself. That she was protecting her daughter from being subjected to parents who didn’t get along—Cate knew too well the kind of wounding that could inflict on a child. Even after they’d grown into an adult.
She’d clung to bitterness and fear, letting them dictate her choices.
Until just over a year ago. Through a little girl and her mom at day care who invited Ruby to attend Sunday school, Cate had found herself on a padded church chair for the first time in her life. She’d met God within those walls, and a piece of her that had always felt forgotten became known.
God had worked on her over the year, slowly convincing her that while she might not be able to trust Luc or even herself, she could trust Him. Ruby needing the procedure had been the last key in getting Cate to tell Lucas the truth.
But she was still afraid.
That Luc would try to take Ruby away from her. That his presence would wreak havoc on the safe life she’d so carefully woven for them. That she’d foolishly be drawn to him all over again.
If Luc decided to be a part of Ruby’s life, Cate’s focus would remain on their daughter. She wasn’t going to entertain any attraction to Luc or let her mind wander regarding how things had gone wrong so quickly between them at the end.
Cate refused to leave a shattered little girl in the wake of any of her own selfish desires.
Which led to the main question throbbing behind her temples with ferocity. Did she even need to worry about Luc being in their lives? Why was he here tonight? Was it to tell her he was in?
Or out?
Chapter Three (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
The scent of garlic in Cate and Ruby’s apartment—a remnant of dinner, Luc would guess—made his stomach growl. In his hurry to get here and see Ruby, he’d forgotten to eat. Not a normal occurrence for him.
He sat on Ruby’s bright purple bedspread while she showed him her colorful ponies. He’d already met her collection of dolls.
On his way into Ruby’s room, Luc had given the apartment a quick once-over. The size of a matchbox with everything in its place. So Cate was still the neat freak she’d once been. But the pieces and colors she used in the apartment gave it a comfortable feel. Artistic and homey. Even still, Luc felt strangely claustrophobic. He was used to wide open spaces. The building barely had any grass outside with no playground to be seen.
He had the strangest urge to snap Ruby into his arms, barrel out of here and never come back.
“This one’s my favorite.” Ruby held up a white pony with purple hair.
At times she talked so fast Luc could barely decipher her words. For the most part he’d been drinking her in—watching the nuances that made her unique—while trying not to overdo it with his interest. So far he’d learned she tugged on her earlobe when she was thinking and that she rarely stayed in one position for more than sixty seconds.
See? She needed a ranch for a backyard. But that wasn’t Luc’s focus in being here. It was to discuss the paternity test results with Cate, and then for the two of them to tell Ruby he was her father. He needed to stay on point.
“It’s time to get ready for bed, Rubes.” Cate stood in the doorway to the room, her bare toes peeking inside.
Luc glanced at the small clock on Ruby’s nightstand, surprised to see how much time had passed since he’d arrived.
“But...” Ruby’s brow pinched, her voice escalating to a whine. “But my friend Luc is here.”
Her friend Luc. Sweet girl. Little did she know how her life was about to change. Luc prayed it would be for the better and that she’d adjust without the news harming her or causing turmoil.
“I know,” Cate answered with patience and a hint of weariness, “but it’s getting late and you need your sleep. We can still read a story if you get your pajamas on and brush your teeth.” She infused pep into the last part, but it was lost on Ruby.
A storm of opposition continued to brew in the half-pint in front of him. Luc pushed up from the twin bed, the frame creaking under his added weight. “I need to talk to your mom. I’ll do that while you get ready and then maybe...” He looked to Cate. “Maybe I can read you a book?”
After a moment of hesitancy evidenced by the thumbnail slipping between Cate’s teeth, she nodded.
Luc followed Cate out of the room, shutting the door behind him and stopping in the middle of the living room. If he walked out the space from wall to wall, he’d probably only get in six long strides. Had it shrunk even more while he was with Ruby? Or maybe it was just being near Cate with no daughter as a buffer.
“I got the test results back. Ruby’s mine.” His throat tightened. How had they gotten here? Anger and confusion and sadness all whipped through him like a gust of Colorado wind. “They sent an email a little bit ago.”
No surprise showed on Cate’s features at his announcement. But then, he hadn’t accused her of cheating on him four years ago. The opposite had happened. And it had been the worst moment of his life when he’d denied doing any such thing...and she hadn’t believed him.
Luc couldn’t stand it when someone didn’t trust him. He’d lived that back in high school and then again with Cate, and he had no desire to repeat the scenario.
Cate motioned to her computer. “I haven’t checked my email, so I didn’t get it yet, but I also don’t need it. I know she’s yours.” Weighty silence stretched between them. “But I’m glad you have the answers you need.”
“So now what?”
“I don’t know.” Her hands lifted, their slight shaking gunning for his sympathetic side. He quickly slammed the door on that unwarranted response. “I guess that’s up to you. How involved you want to be. If you want to see Ruby.”
“If?” Heat seared his voice. Was she joking? Didn’t she know him better than that? Cate looked as though she was about to dissolve into an emotional flood, and despite his outrage, Luc didn’t want that. Especially for Ruby’s sake. They didn’t need to start out back in the same boxing ring they’d ended in the last time. He made a second attempt to answer her in a calmer tone. “Of course I want to see her.”
“Then I guess we figure out a plan. A schedule.”
Luc wanted all of Ruby in his life, not a color-coded calendar of planned times. But that was impossible. Even if he did want to transport Ruby out of this place, he couldn’t. Cate would never stand for it. He wasn’t that much of a fool.
“What about telling her?”
Her eyes momentarily closed, fingertips massaging her temples. “I’ve been prepping her as much as I could. I asked her if she’d want to meet her father.”
“What did she say?”
Ruby scampered into the hallway. “I’m gonna brush my teeth, and then I know what book I want my friend Luc to read. Boo-boo bear picked it out. But, Mommy, I still need you to huggle me.”
After that barrage of information, the bathroom door banged shut.
Luc needed a three-year-old translator. “Huggle?”
“Snuggle and hug combined.” Cate’s face softened, the curved lips that surfaced over Ruby enough to take out a man with less resentment propping him up at the knees. “And in answer to your question, you’ve met her—what do you think she said? To Ruby, the more, the merrier. She wants to meet her dad. You.”
“So we’ll tell her tonight?”
The enormousness of his question made filling his lungs an impossible task. It must have affected Cate the same, because her chest stuttered numerous times as it rose and fell.
“Yes.” Sorrow lines surrounded liquid brown pools of remorse. “Luc, I really am sorry.”
And he really didn’t want to hear it right now. One day they’d have to get into the whys. One day he’d have to move toward forgiving her. Today was not that day.
Luc had been talking to God plenty about Ruby and Cate this week, reaching for answers that felt miles away. And while he knew the man upstairs would be nudging him to deal with his ire toward Cate in no time at all, tonight was about telling Ruby the truth.
When he didn’t answer her apology, Cate sucked in a breath too big for her small frame, as if gathering courage. “I need—” her eyes found his and held, pleading “—to know you’re in. Not with me—I get that I’m not high on your list of favorites right now. But for Ruby’s sake, I need to know you’re not just going to cut and run when you figure out being a dad is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I have to know she can count on you.”
Despite all the wrong that had transpired between them, Cate was right to ask. To protect her daughter—their daughter. A smidgen of respect eased back into play. “I don’t do anything halfway, Cate. So in answer to your question, I’m not going anywhere. I’m in Ruby’s life for good.”
Though Luc didn’t know how they were going to tell Ruby. How to explain why he hadn’t known about her without making Cate look bad. Because no matter what tension ebbed between him and Cate, he wouldn’t start out by maligning Ruby’s mother. He would put their daughter’s needs first.
Luc silently fired off prayers for guidance and wisdom.
Cate’s eyebrows plunked together like magnets. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m praying.” The answer snapped out a little snarly—ironic, considering the statement. Again, Luc dug for civility. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. What we’re supposed to do now.” He shrugged, offering an olive branch. “So I thought I’d ask someone who does.”
Disbelief and curiosity warred on her face. “Since when are you a praying man, Lucas Wilder?”
“Since I left...” You. “...Denver. Once I moved back to the ranch, I was...” A mess. “I started going to church with my family and it was like something clicked. I’d never really wanted a relationship with God when I was younger, but something changed. And so did I.” At least he hoped he had. Luc sure hadn’t handled things well with Cate back when they’d been together. He’d done a lot of putting himself first. Had he appreciated Cate back then? Doubtful.
His immaturity during their relationship—including the fact that they’d been pretending to be adults when they were anything but—smarted like a hoof to the shin.
“Ruby and I...we go to church, too. I became a Christian about a year ago.” A begrudging tilt claimed her lips. “It’s the reason you’re standing here right now. Otherwise, I’m not sure I would ever have softened.” She shrugged, one shoulder lifting the messy ponytail that had loosened to cascade down her back.
Seeing Cate so casual tonight—without the armor of her well-put-together clothes and wearing very little makeup—made Luc flash back to their younger days. She’d been beautiful back then, but now there was something about her... Maybe it was peacefulness. He wasn’t sure. But he liked this casual side of her. Cate looked ready to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie. And the traitor side of him thought he should be the one tucked in next to her. She had that effect on him, and he was still furious with her.
What would happen if he actually managed to forgive Cate? Maybe that was part of the reason he didn’t want to—because Luc refused to go anywhere near the possibility for that kind of anguish again.
The kind they’d caused each other.
In all of his aggravation at Cate over the past week, Luc had conveniently forgotten one thing...his fault in what had happened. What he’d been like back then. Even before their last fight, he’d often been quick to tussle with her over the smallest things. They’d been so young, their relationship on fast-forward.
Luc had thought he loved Cate then...but now he wondered if he’d ever truly understood the definition of the word.
Since Cate had reappeared in his life, he’d been so focused on the mistakes she’d made in keeping Ruby from him that he hadn’t even considered his selfish decisions.
“I was a jerk when we were younger, wasn’t I?”
Cate had the grace not to answer him, but Luc knew the truth.
No wonder she hadn’t told him about Ruby. If it had been him in her shoes, he wouldn’t have contacted himself, either.
* * *
Cate had been in too many hard, unforgiving chairs in doctors’ offices like the one currently holding her, but today something was different. Luc occupied the seat next to her.
Ruby climbed all over him, the heat from his lanky frame seeping into Cate’s personal space. Of course, he hadn’t lost his temper once dealing with all of Ruby’s pent-up energy while they waited. But then, he’d only been acting as a parent for six days. He’d fail soon enough, and then she’d feel guilty for entertaining this thought process at all.
Cate had read enough about Ruby’s condition to know that not every office did nurse consultations before the procedure, but she was thankful theirs did. The more information she had, the better.
“Do they normally run behind?” Luc asked.
“Not too bad. If you have somewhere you need to be, you can go.”
His eyes narrowed at her sugar-sweet offer. “Trying to get rid of me?”
Yes. “No.”
The grin commandeering his mouth said he knew exactly what she was thinking and doing. Attraction came unbidden, a surprising shimmy in her gut. Down, girl. Not your candy.
He leaned closer, and her body sent off warning flares. Jump ship advisories blared. “I already told you that I’m here for Ruby no matter what. That I want to be a part of her life. The question is whether you’re going to let me be.”
Since when had Luc turned into this wiser, calmer version of the barely adult man she’d once known?
In the living room the other night, before they’d talked to Ruby, he’d even prayed with her. They’d stood three feet apart and been separated by miles of unresolved issues, but the prayer had held more intimacy than she’d expected.
Luc had asked God to show them what to say and what not to say and to give Ruby an open mind.
