скачать книгу бесплатно
But I remember the day exactly. I know I put my Baby Doll in the suitcase. If the police didn’t find it where can it be?
The bus stops. I come up fast out of my brain and take a deep breath through my nose. We are at school. I have to find a way to make Mrs. Wake leave me alone again so I can get back on a computer. I have to ask Gloria what happened.
“Hey, babe,” says a voice.
I look up. It is Larry. He is standing up in the aisle with his backpack on. We are on the bus.
“It’s time to go. But ladies first,” he says with a big smile and sweeps his hand out. Then his face turns red and he looks at the ground. I stand up and walk in front of him and hurry out the door.
15 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 10:33 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
My Forever Parents are outside right now walking around the yard. My Forever Mom walks all the time now because she wants the baby inside her to descend. That means it is almost ready to come out.
I am in my room holding my quilt and crying. Because I am fourteen years old. Right this minute. Right now. And I’m not supposed to be. I’m supposed to be nine years old and keeping my Baby Doll safe. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be nine years old.
My Forever Dad knocks on my door and opens it.
“Ginny, why don’t you come outside with us? I thought you’d like to play catch.”
“I don’t want to,” I say.
“All right,” he says. “Then how about basketball? We could shoot some hoops.”
“I want to stay in my room,” I say.
“Ginny, it’s your birthday. I know a lot has been going on and you’re confused, but this should be a happy time. We’re going to have presents and cake after supper.”
He keeps trying to get me to come outside but I won’t go. I need to be alone inside my brain right now. Even though it’s my birthday. Even though there will be presents and cake after supper. At 10:36 he finally leaves.
Manicoon.com. Manicoon.com. I say the website over and over with my mouth. Quiet in a whisper. It is the only thing that matters. I tried to get on it yesterday but I couldn’t get away from Mrs. Wake. I have to get on the computer one more time to ask Gloria where my Baby Doll went and to tell her to wait. And she has to wait for the Harvest Concert like I told her. She can’t be impulsive and try to come sooner. She has to, has to, has to wait or she’ll get caught and ruin everything.
16 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 9:10 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
We are in language arts writing poems about picking apples. Tomorrow we are going to the apple cider farm and the apple poems are helping us get ready. To help us write the poems we read one by Robert Frost. It has apple trees and a ladder in it. If I had a ladder right now I would climb out of this classroom. I have to escape from it so that I can go to the library and get on a computer.
Which means I have to find something new to glue Mrs. Wake to.
When you write a poem you have to talk about things that mean something else. The ladder in Robert Frost’s poem means heaven, Mrs. Carter said. So in my poem I put a ladder that means I am climbing out of my bedroom window to go with Gloria. We have to draw a picture to go with our poem so I draw the Green Car and the Blue House and me on the ladder climbing out of my room. Next I will draw a picture of my Baby Doll in the Green Car but Mrs. Carter is standing next to my desk looking down at what I’m drawing. She says it isn’t appropriate.
“No, I’m afraid it isn’t,” says Mrs. Wake when she sees the picture. “And I think we should probably show this to Mrs. Lomos.”
So Mrs. Wake brings me down to Mrs. Lomos’s office. We pass the water fountain and the bathroom and the janitor’s closet. I think about pushing her in there and locking the door. I run ahead and jiggle the door handle. It is locked.
“What are you doing?” Mrs. Wake asks.
“Jiggling the door handle,” I say.
I think about locking her somewhere else but it would have to be somewhere really, really quiet. Otherwise someone might hear her banging to get out.
Mrs. Lomos says Mrs. Carter was right. It wasn’t appropriate to draw pictures of Gloria and the Green Car. Or me escaping. When I ask why not she says because Gloria isn’t safe and the picture means I want to go with her.
Which makes sense. So it isn’t appropriate for me to draw what I really want because people might find out about it. I am surprised that Mrs. Lomos told me that but I’m glad because now I can do a better job at keeping it secret.
“We’re going to keep you safe in spite of yourself, young lady,” Mrs. Wake says when we are in the hallway going back to class. I don’t know what that means so I ask her.
“It means we know what you’ve been up to,” she answers. “We’ve finally got your number.”
“I’m fourteen years old,” I say.
“That’s right,” says Mrs. Wake. “Your birthday was two days ago, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I say.
17 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 3:05 IN THE AFTERNOON, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21ST (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
I am at the kitchen table eating nine grapes for my afternoon snack.
“Ginny, we have to talk about the computers at school,” my Forever Mom says. “We know about Gloria’s Facebook page and her blog. She’s been pretty quick to delete the comments you left for her, but we know the two of you have been in touch.”
I put the first grape in my mouth and wait for her to keep going.
“The police can’t make her shut the pages down, but we’ve been watching to see what she posts. The police have, too. So you can’t talk with her that way anymore.”
I don’t know if she read any of my Comments. I don’t know if Gloria had a chance to read it and delete the last one. I don’t know if my Forever Mom knows that I told Gloria to come to the Harvest Concert.
“Ginny?”
“What?”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then, how do you feel about it?”
I think hard and make sure my mouth is shut. I want to be good and tell her but I can’t.
“How did you feel about the apple cider farm?” she says. “And how about the fact that you’re in a safe place and have plenty to eat? How do you feel about knowing that no one is going to hit you? And what about becoming a big sister and staying at the same school for two years in a row? Or staying at the same house?”
She isn’t yelling but her voice is getting louder. Plus she asked five questions all at once. I don’t say anything. I eat two more grapes and wait.
And then she yells.
“Why the hell are you doing this, Ginny? Why the hell are you telling Gloria to keep coming back? She beat the hell out of you! You had a fractured arm and were starving! You almost died! I’m supposed to have a baby in two weeks—we can’t have this kind of insanity in the house with a newborn baby! Ginny, don’t you see? This all has to end! We can’t—”
She stops. I squeeze my eyes shut just in case. Then I hear her walk out of the kitchen. I hear the bathroom door close. She is crying.
Which means I’m not going to get hit.
I take a deep breath and finish my grapes. The last six.
18 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 4:08 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22ND (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
“It works like this,” says Patrice. “When a Forever Girl gets adopted, it’s forever, unless she makes her new Forever Home a dangerous place. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Within the past two weeks you beat up a plastic electronic baby and arranged to have Gloria try to kidnap you twice. You tried to throw a chair through a window, and you bit one of your teachers. Now, does that sound like a good environment for a baby sister?”
“No,” I say.
“Do you know what could happen to you if you don’t stop it?”
“If I don’t stop what?” I say.
“If you don’t stop trying to contact Gloria.”
“No,” I say.
“Then I’ll tell you,” says Patrice. “You could get yourself unadopted. Ginny, your parents love you, but they aren’t going to let you make the Blue House a dangerous place for Baby Wendy. So if you don’t stop trying to get Gloria to come see you, you’re going to have to leave the Blue House. Forever.”
“Does that mean I’ll have to go to another Forever House?”
“Actually, it means you’ll probably end up in a facility for girls who aren’t safe.”
I think hard. Gloria won’t know where I am if I go someplace else. Gloria won’t be able to find me again. I’m guessing she doesn’t know the address of the facility for girls who aren’t safe. It took four whole years for me to get on a computer and tell her where the Blue House is.
Which means I have to be good. I have to behave. I can’t try to escape or contact Gloria again. I have to wait until the Harvest Concert.
“Ginny, this isn’t a time to be inward. How do you feel about what I just told you?”
I look at Patrice. “I want to stay at the Blue House,” I say.
Patrice smiles. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard you say in a long time. Now, let’s talk about what we have to do to keep you there. You’ll be seeing me three times a week for a long time, so we’re going to work on this a lot.”
19 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 5:29, MONDAY, OCTOBER 18TH (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
It is the night of the Harvest Concert but it isn’t night yet. The sun is going down but it is still day.
I have been very, very good at the Blue House and at school so that I wouldn’t get myself unadopted. Even though the things in my brain keep trying to pull me into dark places. I have been picking at my hands a lot and keeping them in my lap so no one sees. I didn’t try to get on the computer or to have Larry get on the internet for me. I told Patrice three times each week that I wanted to be a good big sister. And it’s true. If I wasn’t going to get kidnapped tonight at the Harvest Concert I would try very hard to help take excellent care of Baby Wendy when it’s born.
In my backpack I have my flute, my quilt and a half gallon of milk. I’m all set to take care of my Baby Doll as soon as I find it.
Mrs. Wake is bringing me to the band room to warm up and practice with the rest of the band. The musicians have to be in the band room at five-thirty. The concert starts at seven.
We pass through the lobby and by the three glass doors that go to the front bus loop and the parking lot. I look outside. It is hard to see because it is so bright. The sun is shining right in my face. I wonder when the Green Car will come. I squint.
After the lobby we pass the office. Coming the other way I see some chorus kids. They are dressed in white shirts and black pants and they are carrying water bottles and black folders. Behind the chorus kids is a man with a blue coat. Someone’s dad, I think. Then a lady wearing a red vest with a sweater under it. Someone’s mom.
I turn around. Behind us I see two ladies talking and walking. Behind them I see another lady. She has her hair pulled back tight in a ponytail. She has a big brown unzipped jacket. She has a purple-and-brown flannel shirt. She is not heavy but she isn’t skinny like Gloria. She stops next to the first lobby door and smiles and puts her finger on her lips.
It is Crystal with a C.
I don’t know why Crystal with a C is here. It should be Gloria. But I am very, very happy. It’s good that Crystal with a C is here instead of Gloria because Gloria is unreliable and impulsive. Plus she made quite a scene. Twice. And my Forever Mom said that everyone knew I was contacting her on the computer.
“Ginny?” says Mrs. Wake.
“What?” I say.
“Let’s watch where we’re going,” says Mrs. Wake. “The band room is this way.”
I look behind me one more time. The other two ladies are gone now. Crystal with a C is still near the first lobby door. I turn around to keep walking but I hear her footsteps. She is following us.
We pass the gym. There is a bathroom in there so I stop. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I say.
Mrs. Wake looks into the doorway. It is dark in there except for a small light. Mrs. Wake looks inside. “It looks like the girls’ locker room is open,” she says. “Go ahead in, but then come right back out. I’ll wait right here for you.”
Before I go in I look back. Crystal with a C is at the last lobby door. She smiles. She points at me. Then she points to the door. I see her take out a cigarette and walk outside.
So I walk into the gym. The doorway to the girls’ locker room is right inside. I walk in and pass all the lockers and benches and come out on the other side of the gym. I see the exit sign above the door. It goes out to the fields. I push it open.
And run.
I run across the back of the school. It still isn’t dark yet but it’s getting hard to see. I run past the janitor’s car and the Dumpster. I run past the back door to the cafeteria. The loading dock. Then I get to the corner of the school where the teachers park. I slow down and look. No one is here either. I hurry past the empty parking spaces and now I am at the front of the school. I look down the long sidewalk to the lobby. I look out at the parking lot again. I don’t see Crystal with a C.
So I look both ways very carefully and then I cross the bus loop. I stand between two empty cars looking. I walk down the rows of cars and I look and I look until I see a shape near a gray car. It is a person. With a red dot next to its mouth.
“Hey, Ginny,” she says. “Ready to go on a little trip?”
I nod my head yes. And smile. Because Crystal with a C is the one who’s going to kidnap me and she’s the one who tells the truth. She opens the door to the car for me and I get in.
20 (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
EXACTLY 5:43 AT NIGHT, MONDAY, OCTOBER 18TH (#u2655f8b1-f89c-52e2-9201-fd25df3e1507)
Crystal with a C gets into the driver’s seat fast. She starts the car. She has a metal ball in the side of her nose that wasn’t there before. And purple pointy glasses. Also new.
I smile big with my teeth and make my shoulders go up to my ears.
