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‘I did,’ he said and she heard a note of grim satisfaction enter his voice. ‘Finally. By the time I was fifteen… well, even by fifteen I’d learned things Giorgos didn’t want me to know. I was making his life uncomfortable, and he no longer wanted me at the castle. So finally my mother was allowed to return and he allocated an allowance for us to live on. We came back here to live, for all the time she had left.’
There was an untold story here, she knew. A fifteen-year-old standing up to a King. But instinctively she knew he wouldn’t tell her more.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.
‘There’s no need.’
She was still in the bathroom. She had her clothes on now. Jeans, T-shirt.
There was no reason for standing in the bathroom any longer.
She walked out, cautious. Michales had finished his bottle. Her son was looking up at Alex, sleepy but expectant. Alex was looking at Lily, expectant.
The resemblance was unnerving. She was unnerved.
She smiled. It was impossible not to smile at these two.
Her men.
The thought was weird.
‘Tell me about your illness,’ Alex said softly and her smile died, just like that.
‘You don’t need to know.’
‘I do.’ His gaze met hers. Calm. Firm. Unyielding.
The time for dissembling was past.
Okay, then. There was, indeed, no practical reason for her to dissemble—apart from increasing her vulnerability—and she felt so vulnerable anyway she might as well toss in a bit more to the mix.
‘I had a brain tumour,’ she said, so quickly, so softly that she wasn’t sure he’d hear. But the flash of horror in his eyes told her he had.
‘A brain tumour… ’
‘Benign.’ The last thing she wanted from this man was sympathy, but sympathy was in his eyes, right from the start, wanted or not. There was also horror.
When the doctors had told her the diagnosis she’d gone to the Diamond Isles to talk to Mia. She’d been hoping for something. Support? Love? Even kindness would have done. But of course Mia had been caught up in her own world. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she’d said when Lily had tried to tell her. ‘You’ve always had your stupid headaches. I won’t even begin to think you’re right.’
She’d been bereft, lost, foundering. Calls to her mother had gone unanswered. She’d never felt so alone in her life.
Then came the night of the ball. She might as well attend, she’d thought, rather than sit in her bedroom and think about a future that terrified her.
And so she’d met Alex. When Alex had smiled at her, when he’d asked her to dance, she’d found herself falling into his arms. Doing a Mia for once. Living for the moment.
And for two glorious days he’d made her forget reality. He’d smiled at her and she’d let herself believe that all could be right in her world. She’d blocked out the terror. She’d lost herself in his smile, in his laughter, in his loving…
And in his body.
And now here he was, looking at her as if he really cared, and she was lost all over again.
She couldn’t be lost. Not when her world was so close to being whole again.
‘I always had it,’ she said, still too fast, searching for the quickest way to tell him what he had to know. ‘Okay, potted history. You probably know my father was a Scottish baronet, a childless widower. My mother was a distant relation of the Greek royal family, fearsomely ambitious. She set her cap at my father’s money and title, even though he was forty years her senior. Mia and I were born, two years apart.’
‘I know this. The country’s been told this.’
‘Yes, but as Mia’s story. This is mine.’
‘Okay,’ he said, cradling the almost sleeping Michales. His eyes never left her face. ‘You want to sit down and tell me the rest?’
She cast him a scared look. Scared and resentful. Sure she wouldn’t be believed.
‘No one’s pushing you into a chair,’ he said gently. ‘There’s no naked bulb swinging eerily above your head as you spill state secrets. Just tell me.’
She nodded. She closed her eyes. She opened them again and somehow found the strength to say what needed to be said. ‘When I was six I started getting headaches,’ she told him. ‘I was diagnosed with a tumour, benign but inoperable.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess that was the end of my parents’ marriage. My mother loathed that I was sickly. It was almost an insult—that any daughter of hers could be less than perfect. And then Dad’s money ran out.’
She paused. This was too much information. Dumb.
She didn’t want this man’s sympathy.
Alex’s silence scared her, but she had to go on.
‘So my mother left, taking Mia with her. Dad and I muddled through as best we could. When Dad died my mother’s uncle, a man as different from my mother as it was possible to be—took me in. He was a boat-builder in Whitby in the north of England, and I learned my passion for boats from him. When he died, Spiros, my uncle’s friend, persuaded me to go to the States and work for him. So that’s what I did. My headaches were a nuisance I’d learned to live with. I made great boats. I was… content.’
‘You didn’t come to Mia’s wedding.’
‘I wasn’t invited. We’d hardly seen each other since our parents separated and, believe me, I wasn’t fussed. Would you have liked to be Mia’s bridesmaid?’
She tried a smile then, but she didn’t get one in return. His gaze made her feel he was trying to see straight through her. It left her feeling so exposed she was terrified.
Get on, she told herself. Just say it.
‘Then the headaches got worse,’ she said, trying to get to the point where Alex could stop looking… like he scared her. ‘I was getting increasingly dizzy. Increasingly sick. Finally I had tests. The doctors told me the tumour had grown. They thought… unless there was a miracle I had less than a year to live.’
His eyes widened in shock. ‘Lily!’ His hand reached out towards her but she shook her head. She stepped even further back.
No contact. Not now.
‘So I was in a mess,’ she said, trying to sound brisk and clinical and knowing by the look on his face she was failing. ‘My mother didn’t want to know about me. I didn’t want to burden Spiros. You’ve already figured his boatshed looks prosperous but it’s struggling. But I had to talk to someone. So, stupidly, I came to the palace to try to talk to Mia. I arrived just in time for the King’s celebrations to mark forty years on the throne. That’s when I met you.’
Her words had the power to change his world. That was how he felt. As if his world had shifted.
The first time they’d met they’d been surrounded by glittering royalty, the royal ball in full swing. Giorgos had been flaunting his young glamorous wife, taunting him. Telling him there was no way he’d inherit the throne.
But as his uncle had walked past Lily the King’s corset had creaked. Lily’s lips had twitched. They had, it seemed, a shared sense of the ridiculous.
Intrigued, he’d asked her to dance.
She’d laughed about the chandeliers. She’d gently mocked his tuxedo.
She’d felt like a breath of wind against his heart.
That was the start. They’d laughed and talked for two days. They’d become as close as two people could get.
That she’d had this threat hanging over her…
‘So… ’ He was struggling to find his voice.
‘So I slept with you.’ Her chin tilted upward in that wonderful, defiant way he was learning to know. ‘It was crazy, but crazy was how I felt that night. Crazy wonderful. Yes, we took precautions but maybe I wasn’t as careful as I should have been. It was like nothing was real.’
She smiled then, a real smile, with real humour. Making him remember why he’d wanted her. Making him remember why he’d thought she was different. ‘It’s okay,’ she said softly. ‘It was great that night. It was fantastic.’
He didn’t feel like smiling. ‘I wasn’t as careful as I should have been,’ she’d said. How careful had he been?
Not careful enough.
‘I got you pregnant.’
She nodded. ‘You can’t imagine how I felt when I found out. I couldn’t work. I had no money. I was having a baby and the headaches were getting more and more frequent. Nevertheless, even after I phoned you… I couldn’t consider abortion. I had tests and it was a little boy and he was so real. I wanted… I so wanted… ’
She shook her head, seemingly shaking away a memory that held nothing but despair. Moving on. ‘Well, finally I contacted Mia again,’ she whispered. ‘She gave me the same dumb line. It was my business. Not hers. But then she phoned back. Excited. It seemed Giorgos was infertile. They’d been quietly trying to arrange an adoption, but they’d so much rather it was my baby. I know her reasons now—Giorgos’s reasons. But by then I was so sick I couldn’t enquire and even if I’d known maybe I wouldn’t have cared. All I could think was that Mia would give my baby a chance of life.’
He didn’t respond. The audacity of the scheme still left him dumbfounded. Mia and Giorgos using Lily’s desperation for their own ends… How could Lily have guessed their intention?
And of course Lily had accepted their offer. It was the child’s best chance. In a royal household, she knew the baby would at least be well taken care of. Like Lily, the alternatives seemed unbearable.
He looked down at the almost sleeping Michales. His son. To not bring this little boy into the world… The child of two mature parents, conceived in what could almost be taken as love…
He thought again of the call she’d made to him in early pregnancy, and of his response, and he felt sick.
There was a drawn-out silence. Silence and silence and more silence.
She hated it. He could see it. She hated anyone knowing, but to tell him… It was making her feel exposed and frightened and very, very small.
‘But you survived?’ he said softly, finally, into the stillness.
‘So I did,’ she said humourlessly. ‘You think I’m lying?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ He shook his head. Definite. ‘My God, Lily… ’ Once again he put a hand out towards her but she backed even further. Standing against the French windows as if preparing to flee.
‘Let me finish.’ She hesitated, then forced herself to go on. ‘Part of this I’ve only heard from others,’ she said. ‘But I need to tell you. Mia and Giorgos paid for me to be admitted to a private hospital in France, a place known for its discretion. Mia arrived as I was getting really ill. I know now that her plan was to tell the people back on the Diamond Isles that she was pregnant and suffering complications. If my baby survived to term she’d take him as hers. Giorgos would bribe anyone who needed to be bribed.’
‘But how did she… ?’
‘I can’t tell you what I don’t know,’ she said bluntly. ‘I gather I ended up in a coma. I gather Michales was born. I also gather one of the nurses in the hospital became really troubled that I was lying untreated. Apparently, until Michales was born, Mia acted concerned, but after she took him I was left alone.’ She took a deep breath. ‘The nurse saved my life. She risked her job and contacted a doctor she knew who was doing groundbreaking surgery. He checked me out and figured he had nothing to lose if he tried operating. Mia had left my mother’s contact details for when I died. The surgeon contacted her for permission to operate—offering to do it for free.’ She managed a smile again. ‘Even my mother couldn’t knock that back. So finally I woke. The tumour was gone. Unbelievably gone. I had my life.’
He didn’t know what to say. He just gazed at her in awe.
‘Unreal, isn’t it?’ she said, half mocking. ‘Unbelievable. Parts of it I didn’t figure out myself until I arrived here at your coronation, and even now I’m having trouble coming to terms with it. But it’s okay. I’m not asking for belief. I’m not asking for anything. I just want to build boats and care for my son. I want to live.’
Her chin tilted forward again, pugnacious, defensive.
How could he believe such a story?
But then he thought of Mia. He’d been present at the wedding, and he remembered Mia’s mother as well. They were two of a kind. Grasping, greedy, social climbers. Flaunting their connection to the Greek royal family and to English aristocracy.
They were about as different from this woman as it was possible to be.
‘I won’t impinge on your freedom,’ he said softly and she nodded.
‘Good, then.’
‘But… no one came near you?’
‘Spiros and Eleni would have if I’d told them. I didn’t tell them.’
‘I would have if you’d let me.’
‘Would you?’
‘You can believe it. It’s true. Hell, Lily, you could have died.’
‘That’s what I expected,’ she said. ‘I guess nothing will ever be so bad again. Drifting into unconsciousness, knowing there was no return ticket. Knowing I had to leave my baby in Mia’s care.’
‘If I could get my hands on her… ’
‘There’s no joy down that road,’ she said simply. ‘Being angry just makes everything worse. Anyway… ’ she shrugged ‘… now you know. We can get on with it.’
‘With what?’
‘With our sham marriage. With doing what we have to do before I can go home.’
‘Where’s home?’
‘Where Michales is,’ she said simply. ‘I don’t care about places. I care about my baby. That’s all.’
CHAPTER TEN (#ulink_f04668d3-0c0d-5594-a4a5-28791efacaf7)
SHE’D lied.
I care about my baby. That’s all. She’d known it was a lie before she’d uttered it but she wasn’t about to add her other… care.
Alex.
He looked appalled. It helped, she decided, that he looked appalled at what she’d gone through. When she let herself think about it, she was pretty appalled herself.
That he was horrified on her behalf… It did something to her insides. There was a warmth forming inside her—a glow that was starting to build.
