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He looked at her for a long time. To his credit, his gaze stayed on her face. It didn’t wander to her waist, which was mostly what happened when someone saw her scars. She pretty much ceased to exist as a person. She became a fire victim, a giant scar.
“You don’t have to go,” he said, his voice so gentle she felt stabbed.
“I do, honestly. I do. I’ve had a good time here, though, and I assure you, you’ll do fine with the children. They’re good kids.”
The way he looked at her told her that he wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure he should. That was the problem. No one was ever sure.
“So, um, is there a hotel?”
He nodded. “In town. The Blue Point Inn. It’s a nice place and it has a great restaurant. It’s on Main by the movie theater, impossible to miss.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “I appreciate you letting me barge in. It was foolish of me to come all this way when the odds were so slim.”
“I wish I could have helped.”
“I know. But there’s still one more name on the list. With any luck, we’ll hit pay dirt.” Shelby turned and headed for the kitchen to get her purse. She hated walking in front of him. She knew that, now it was safe, he was staring at her back. Feeling sorry for her.
She grabbed her purse from the counter and made a beeline for the front door. She paused, however, when she got to the kids. What a dreamer she was. To have entertained the idea that she could have this. It would never happen. Not in a million years. “Bye, Scout. Bye, Jem. You two be good, okay?”
Jem nodded absently, but Scout came over, hugged Shelby’s legs, then looked up with her wide blue eyes. “Bye, Shelby. I liked your eggs.”
“Thank you, honey. It was a real pleasure.”
The little one’s arms still hugged her legs. Shelby moved them, which she hated, but tears threatened. Big, hot, sobbing tears. No way was she going to do that here.
The second she was free, she hurried to the door. After it was open, she called another goodbye over her shoulder. But she didn’t look back.
GRAY STOOD at the window and watched Shelby pull out of the driveway. He’d handled things poorly. He should have— What? Talked about it? Joked with her?
It was the kind of situation his sister knew how to deal with. Kate was always the one who made everyone feel at ease. How she did it was a mystery. Why hadn’t he paid attention? Learned something from her?
He knew exactly why. He was too busy thinking about himself. About his women, his workout schedule, his car, his jobs, then more about his women. That’s what his mother had meant, of course. Why she worried about him. Because he was a selfish ass. He couldn’t even take care of two little kids by himself.
As he headed to the couch, the little wooden boy on the screen sang too loudly even in this big room. Weren’t the kids sleepy yet?
See. Right there. He’d done it again. Not two seconds after identifying the problem, he’d gone right back into selfish mode. He wasn’t thinking that the kids needed sleep. It was all about him wanting peace and quiet.
He sank onto the sofa and tuned out the noise around him. Damn it, he’d liked her. He’d liked talking to her. What had happened to her? He was pretty sure it was scar tissue from a bad burn. Was it all over her back? All over her body?
He winced, thinking about the pain. About what she’d gone through. It must have been hell. She wasn’t bitter, though. Not at all. Instead, she was funny, warm and compassionate. Strange how tragedy affected people so differently. Some turned against the world, and some made the world a better place.
He’d be one of the bitter ones. Especially if he was disfigured. His self-condemnation was interrupted by a small girl climbing on his lap. She smelled like soap and childhood, and for a moment he let himself think only good things.
“Uncle Gray?”
“Scout?”
“Why was Shelby’s skin all ugly?”
The good thoughts vanished. “It’s different, Scout. Not ugly.”
“Why was Shelby’s skin all different?”
“I think she was burned, kiddo. It must have hurt a lot.”
Scout’s brows went down. “Did she play with matches?”
“I don’t know.”
Scout touched his cheek. Her little hand felt cool and soft, and it was such a spontaneous gesture he had to close his eyes. “She was a nice lady,” Scout said.
“She was.”
Her hand moved to his lips in a totally guileless gesture, and he kissed her fingers. Scout’s smile made him swallow hard.
THE ROOM wasn’t large, but it was pretty. From the second floor of the Blue Point Inn, Shelby could see most of Main Street from the window. It was a peaceful little town, like several she knew in this part of Texas. Folks had lived here for generations and would continue to live here for years to come. It was a place to raise children. A place to make a home.
Shelby turned from the window, and her eyes lit upon the phone. She should call the diner. She should call Garrett, Michael, Lana. But she didn’t trust her voice. Everyone would survive without hearing from her. Instead, she went to the bed and her suitcase. She’d packed for a couple of days, just in case, and she was glad of it. She wanted nothing more than to climb into something comfy and curl up on the big chair in the corner and read her book. No, that wasn’t true. There was one thing she wanted more. She wanted to stop thinking about Gray Jackson.
Her hand went to her stomach before she gripped the zipper of the small suitcase. Once she had it opened, she worked quickly, hanging up what needed to be hung and putting her toiletries in the bathroom. Then she took out a pair of red shorts and a white, oversize T-shirt. She got out of her jeans first, folded them and put them in the case, then she lifted her blouse over her head. She reached for her T-shirt, but her gaze caught on the mirror to her right.
Stopping mid-gesture, she turned to face her image. The scar tissue wasn’t too bad around her waist, thighs and chest. Nothing she couldn’t live with. Then she turned and looked over her shoulder. The sight made her cringe.
Most of her back was hairless, poreless fake skin. The redness was nothing like before, nothing like when it was new. But there was no way anyone would mistake it for the real thing—it wasn’t. It was mostly collagen fibers, not skin cells.
And it was ugly. The kind of ugly that scars the inside, too. The teasing never went away. The way a person’s face changed after seeing it was indelible. The fire had taken so much from her.
She closed her eyes as she pulled on her T-shirt. It was enough. She couldn’t afford to feel sorry for herself for too long. That led straight into a cycle of depression that scared the hell out of her. If only Scout hadn’t—
Her eyelids popped open. The most dangerous words in the English language were “if only.” Nothing could be done about the past. All that she had were choices in the now. She could choose to dwell on this or she could opt for healthy, nurturing thoughts.
She pulled on shorts, splashed some cold water on her face and got her book out of her purse. It was a long, juicy novel, one she’d been meaning to read for ages. The author was one of her favorites, which was a good thing. She needed to get lost. To stop being in this world and enter the fictional dream. Damn it, she needed a happy ending.
CHAPTER THREE
SHELBY TURNED THE PAGE and put the edge of her dinner plate on the bottom of the book to hold it open. She hardly looked at her grilled salmon or the baby red potatoes, even though they were quite good. She’d been captured by a quiet cowboy on a mountain in Wyoming. Her eyes skimmed the pages hungrily, looking for the moment when he realized he was in love.
She was the heroine. Just like always.
Someone came into her peripheral vision, and she fought the urge to shoo them away with her hand. It was the waitress. Bella, her name tag read. A nice older woman, and Shelby smiled at her.
“Would you like a refill on your iced tea?”
“Please.”
Bella nodded, but Shelby could see her strain to read the title of the book. She flipped it closed, showing the woman the cover.
“Ah, that’s a good one,” she said. “I wish I could read it again for the first time.”
“I know just what you mean.”
“You let me know when you want me.”
“Thank you.” Shelby watched until Bella stopped at another table, then she opened her book once more. She found where she’d left off, and with each line, more of the restaurant disappeared. She could picture the mountain, the sky, the lightning. Mostly she could picture the hero. His gray eyes. His dark, thick hair. His angular nose and chin. His butt made for jeans.
She sighed as she turned another page. A child’s giggle, high-pitched, broke into her space, but Shelby pushed it away. She didn’t want to listen to children. Not tonight. Focusing more fully, she went back to the book and reread the last line. Once more, the giggle slipped in.
If it was going to be like that, she was going to finish her dinner quickly and get back to her room. It had been ages since she’d stayed up late to finish a book. Too much to do at Austin Eats. But tonight, she was going to indulge herself. A hot bath, a cold drink and her cowboy all night long.
The giggle came again, closer this time. She shoved the bookmark in place and closed the novel. She’d finished over half her meal, which was somewhat surprising. Now to finish the other half and leave.
The laughter commenced at her first bite, and Shelby couldn’t stand it any longer. She was going to find the child’s mother and give her a stern look. Which wasn’t fair. Kids had to eat, too. Hadn’t she been concerned about just that a few hours ago? Well, the look wouldn’t be that stern.
She scanned the tables to her right, but there were no children at any of them. There were three other booths like hers, and she could see two of them. No kids.
The giggle came again. No, wait. It wasn’t one giggle. It was two.
She turned slowly until she could see the booth directly behind hers.
Scout and Jem stared over the banquette, grins as wide as the Missouri.
“What on earth?”
“We came to get you,” Scout said.
Jem gave her an angry scowl. “You’re not supposed to say that.”
“I know.”
“You do not!”
“Kids,” Shelby said, “It’s okay.” She couldn’t see beyond them, but she knew Gray had to be on the opposite side of the booth. She wasn’t at all sure how to feel about this. Did he come here out of guilt? Out of pity?
“I’m getting pisgetti,” Scout announced, “and Jem’s getting a hamburger.”
“They both sound delicious.” Her neck wasn’t going to last much longer in this position. She could turn and pretend to ignore them, but that felt silly. Asking them to join her didn’t mean anything. It was only one meal, after all. “Why don’t you come here to this table? And you can bring your uncle with you.”
The twins scrambled out of the booth and scooted into hers before Gray stood up. He came to her side wearing a sheepish smile. “I know we’re intruding.”
“It’s all right.”
“Is it?”
She nodded. It was all right. At least, she hoped it would be. The urge to check her T-shirt, to make sure she was completely covered, was more than she could withstand, and her hand went to her waist. Gray caught the action, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he scooted in next to Jem.
“How’s the salmon?”
“Good.”
“It’s a pretty nice place.”
“Yes.”
“The kids haven’t been here in a long time, so I thought…”
“It’s all right.”
He sighed as he shook his head. “I’m sorry. It was a stupid thing to do. I just hated that—” He stopped midsentence.
She had to give it to him, though. Usually when people found themselves in this position, their eyes got all panicky and their cheeks burned with embarrassment. Gray seemed only mildly uncomfortable.
“I hated the way you left,” he said finally.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. It wasn’t personal. I knew you could handle everything and…” She was the one who stopped this time. She couldn’t lie. She didn’t think he could handle the children all that well, and she wasn’t anxious to get on with her vacation. “I left because I was embarrassed,” she admitted, utterly shocked at her own honesty.
Gray leaned forward, his hand halfway across the table. “I do understand. You don’t know me. But I hope you can believe I wasn’t upset. I mean, I was upset because it’s clear you were hurt, but I didn’t mind.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m saying this badly.”
“No, you’re not. It’s a difficult thing to talk about.”
“Uncle Gray, can I have a Coke?”
He nodded without looking at Jem.
“Can I have one, too?” Scout asked.
He nodded once more, but his attention never really shifted from Shelby. “Is it uncomfortable for you to tell me what happened?”
“No.” She cleared her throat, then shifted on the banquette. “I was nine. It was Halloween, and I was trick-or-treating with my brothers and sister. I was Pocahontas, complete with fringed dress. At Mrs. Winston’s house, I stood too close to the jack-o’-lantern, and the fringe caught fire. It happened very quickly. By the time my father raced up and got me on the ground, my back had third-degree burns. I was in the hospital for months. What you saw were skin grafts. All together, I had five operations.”
Gray didn’t say anything for a long moment. His gaze didn’t waver at all. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
“I can’t imagine it. Literally. I can’t conceive of going through something like that and coming out whole on the other end.”
Whole? Was she? “You do what you have to do.”
The waitress came back, and for the next few minutes, everyone concentrated on dinner. Shelby used the opportunity to audit herself. She wasn’t upset. She wasn’t even uncomfortable. In a strange way, telling him the story had made her more relaxed. He was so physically perfect she never would have guessed she’d react this way. Usually, when she was around that kind of beauty, she pretended she didn’t have a body at all. But with Gray she was incredibly aware of her body and his.
He got to her. He made her fluttery inside, anxious, but not in a bad way. If she was going to be completely honest, she’d have to admit that he turned her on like a radio. None of it made any sense. She’d run from him because he’d seen her scars, so why, just a few hours later, did she feel this intense sexual heat? She wasn’t going to sleep with him. She knew, despite his kind eyes, that he would never want her. Evidently, her body didn’t care. It was tingling in the most intriguing way.
“So,” Gray said the moment Bella left. “I don’t want to dwell on this, but I do want to ask you one more thing.”
“Go on,” she said, her voice uninflected but her insides doing back flips.
“Will you come back? Not forever, but just for tonight? I know you’ve paid for the room, but I’ll take care of that.”
She laughed, more with surprise than anything else. “Are you kidding?”
