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Laurie blinked a couple of times as she felt the blood draining from her face. Jake didn’t know. He didn’t know that she’d gotten pregnant as a result of the one and only time they’d made love. He didn’t know that Wendy was his daughter. If he did, he would understand why she’d married Charlie so quickly.
How could Jake believe that she would marry anyone else if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary? How could he think she would treat their love so trivially? A denial was on the tip of her tongue. But again, something held her back. If she blurted out the truth now, it might have farreaching consequences, consequences she couldn’t even imagine.
Wendy had been born seven months to the day after Laurie and Charlie had wed. Anyone with a lick of sense could count, and had figured out that the baby was Jake’s, not Charlie’s. In fact, Laurie was sure there had been a fair amount of gossip about it at the time. But no one had said anything to her or Charlie directly. And Charlie had been such a proud and doting father, that soon the whole town had embraced the idea that Wendy was really his.
Laurie didn’t want that to change. Charlie had earned his place as Wendy’s father. He had delighted in everything the child did, from kicking in the womb to flinging baby food on his good shirt. He had been as supportive of Laurie’s situation as a man could be, and as devoted to Wendy as if the baby carried his genes. No one—not even Jake—was going to belittle Charlie’s role in her family or dishonor his memory.
So she kept silent. She had to think carefully about this. She had to weigh Jake’s right to know the truth with the possible repercussions.
“You’re not even going to comment?” Jake asked, crossing his arms.
“No, I’m not,” Laurie replied succinctly. She took a sip of her water to avoid looking into those steel blue eyes, afraid he would see that she was holding something back. Silence stretched uncomfortably between them. She could hear the old mantel clock ticking in the living room, and Maurice’s mongrel dog barking at something.
Clearly frustrated, Jake rose abruptly and walked to the back door, then gazed out pensively at the mild spring day. “Steering clear of you seemed like the right decision at the time,” he said. “Now, I’m not so sure. When I think about the years we lost, I have to wonder if I shouldn’t have been more selfish about the whole thing. Maybe I should have barged in and tried to break up your marriage.” He turned suddenly. “Would that have been better than my staying away?”
“You couldn’t have broken up my marriage,” she said. That was the one thing she was utterly sure of. Her marriage to Charlie may have lacked passion, but it had been strong in every other respect. She wouldn’t have hurt that man for anything in the world, not even for Jake.
A muscle ticked in Jake’s jaw. “Maybe that was why I stayed away. During those months in Costa Rica, thoughts of you were sometimes all that kept me alive. When I came back and found you were married…”
He must have been terribly hurt, she thought, though he would never put it in those terms.
“Maybe I was afraid you would turn me away,” he said, “so I never even tried.”
Her heart ached for him. She wanted to explain, but she couldn’t, not yet. She had to give it some thought. And she couldn’t think with Jake’s overwhelming presence filling her kitchen and stealing her breath away every time she looked at him. Maturity had only sharpened his already awesome virility.
“Well, I’m glad you finally came forward,” she said, the words woefully inadequate. “I’m glad you’re not…”
“Not dead?”
That’s what she’d been thinking, and it sounded awful. “Jake, I’m just too shocked to know what to say or how I feel. I think it would be better if you left.” Before she said or did anything really stupid—like throwing her arms around him and absorbing his sheer aliveness.
He shook his head. “Not yet. I still have some business I want to discuss with you.”
“What business?” she asked warily.
“I saw your ad in the Tyler paper. The one for the ranch manager,” he added, as if she ran dozens of ads and needed clarification.
“And?”
“I’d like to apply for the position.”
“Jake, don’t be ridiculous!” she exploded. “Where would you get a fool notion like that?”
“Now, wait a minute, hear me out. It’s not as crazy as it sounds.”
“The hell it’s not. You can’t—”
“Laurie, let me explain.”
She clamped her mouth shut. Apparently Jake was going tosay his piece, and she wouldn’t get him out of here until she let him.
“Now, then. I’ve heard some rumors that you’re having problems here, and I can see just by looking around that they’re true. Also, I know that you wouldn’t be trying to hire a manager if you didn’t need help. Just how bad is it?”
She considered lying. She didn’t want to appear any more vulnerable to Jake than she already did. But she was afraid the sheer misery of her situation would shine through no matter what she said. “It’s pretty bad,” she confessed. “Our insurance wasn’t adequate to cover the medical bills.”
That was an understatement.
“I thought I could scrape by. I sold off some of the stock, but that cut into the Folly’s income. Since then I’ve made some bad decisions.” She shrugged helplessly.
Jake nodded, as if he’d suspected as much. “How do you intend to pay your new manager’s salary?”
“Well…I was hoping to work something out. The position offers a nice little house, and I’d cook all the meals, like I already do for Maurice. Beyond that, I thought maybe some type of profit-sharing arrangement. The better job the manager does, the more money he makes.”
Jake was shaking his head.
“It could work,” Laurie said defensively.
“Have you had any qualified applicants?”
“Frankly, no, but the ad’s only been running a few days.”
“And do you honestly think a qualified applicant would work for you under those terms?”
“If he has vision,” she answered. “If he’s confident he can turn things around. The Folly once made bushels of money—and it will again. Anyway, if you think it’s such a bad deal, why are you considering it?”
“Several reasons,” he said, pacing the kitchen like a lawyer preparing to give a closing argument. “One, I know horses.”
“You grew up with cattle,” she said pointedly.
“But you can’t run cattle without horses, and I’ve bought and sold more than a few. I might not be Charlie’s equal when it comes to his knowledge about breeding, but it can’t be that different from breeding cattle.”
She suspected it was a lot different, but since she knew nothing about cattle, she couldn’t offer an intelligent argument. So she nodded, conceding the point.
“Two,” Jake continued, ticking his points off on his fingers, “I don’t need money, so it doesn’t matter what you pay me.”
“You don’t need money?” she repeated, incredulous. She’d never met anyone who would admit that. Even rich folks who already had lots of money always claimed to need more.
“The government gave me a generous settlement for my, er, unscheduled vacation in Costa Rica,” he said with a wry smile. “Actually, it was hush money. I was shot by my own man, the accounts of my death were falsified, and they made no effort to secure my release. They knew that, with a few well-chosen words in the right ears, I could have opened a huge can of worms. Not that I would have. I didn’t need that kind of aggravation. But I didn’t turn down the settlement.”
“Okay, so you’re set for life. That still doesn’t explain why you would want to.come here. Make no mistake, the manager’s job won’t be easy.”
“Maybe I need a challenge,” Jake said, reclaiming his chair across from her. “Maybe I need a change. I’ve been drifting aimlessly too long.” He leaned across the table, until his face was uncomfortably close to hers. “But mostly, I want the job because I owe you something, Laurie. I promised to marry you, and I broke that promise. I put you through quite a bit of distress, I imagine.”
“Distress? How about a living hell?” she retorted, suddenly angry again. Years ago she’d sworn she would never forgive him for leaving her alone, and that still held true.
“Must have been some living hell,” he said, his fury matching hers. “Took you all of two months to find a replacement groom.”
Perhaps he had a point, Laurie silently conceded. It must seem to Jake as if she’d gotten over her heartbreak pretty quickly. “Charlie helped me through it,” she said simply. It was the truth.
“If I could go back and relive that day,” Jake said quietly, “and do things differently, I would. Obviously I can’t. But if I can help you out of this situation…”
“No,” she said. “Not to soothe your conscience, not even if I really believed you could get me out of the mess I’m in. It could never work.”
“You won’t even consider it? On a temporary basis?”
“Absolutely not.” The thought of seeing him every day, cooking dinner for him every night, brushed uncomfortably close to those girlish fantasies she’d once had before Jake’s disappearance had shattered her life. Those dreams were wrapped securely in mental tissue paper and pushed far to the back of her mind—and they weren’t getting out.
“You’re being unreasonable,” he said, rising slowly from his chair, towering over her intimidatingly. “If you don’t get some help, and soon, you could lose the Folly.”
She knew that, dammit. “I’ll get some help. But not from you.” Standing also, she stared at him, refusing to back down even an inch. That old electricity arced between them, and for one insane moment she thought he was looking not into her eyes, but at her mouth, and that he was thinking about kissing her.
The phone rang, cutting through the tension. Laurie turned abruptly to answer the old black wall phone. “Hello?”
Jake continued to watch her as he took a few steadying breaths. God, she was magnificent. She’d been a fiery, passionate girl when he’d last seen her. Now she was unmistakably a woman. Motherhood had added curves to her previously boyish figure. More importantly, the hardships she’d endured over the past four years had given her depth and maturity, and a certain air of mystery, too.
He had always been drawn to her, intrigued by her, and seriously attracted to her. During her absence from his life, that attraction hadn’t diminished one iota. If anything, it was sharper, more intense, than ever.
He wished she hadn’t cut her hair. He could still remember, as if it had been yesterday, the single night of passion they’d shared. He recalled the silky feel of her hair all around him, his fingers tangling in the long strands.
A change in her tone of voice brought Jake’s attention back to the present. Who was she talking to?
“You’re telling me there’s no hope, that he’s finished?” Laurie gripped the phone receiver so tightly her knuckles turned white. She nodded, biting her lower lip.
“Laurie, what’s wrong?” Jake asked, moving around the table.
She turned away from him and faced the wall, but not before he could see that her eyes were unnaturally shiny. “All right. I’ll have to think about it. I’ll call in the morning.” She hung up, chewing on her lip again.
“Laurie?” Unconsciously he reached out to touch her, but she shied away from him like a skittish filly. “C’mon, Laurie, tell me what the problem is. Maybe I can help.”
“It’s…it’s Flash in the Pan.”
The Folly’s highly sought-after stud. A two-time national quarter-horse champion more than a decade ago, Flash was the ranch’s claim to fame and the source of a great deal of income. Mares were shipped from all over the country to be bred with the old stallion. Jake’s own horse, Flash Lightning, had been sired by the original Flash.
“Is he sick?” Jake asked.
“In a manner of speaking. Last week, I decided to breed Flash with a new filly. She’d never been bred before, but she’s the gentlest of creatures, and Flash is just a big old teddy bear. We—Maurice and I, that is—decided it would be okay just to turn them loose in the paddock and let nature take its course.”
Jake winced. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next.
“Well, it wasn’t okay. That ornery mare kicked him where it counts. My vet’s been running tests on him, and she says Flash is permanently out of commission. Finished as a stud. She says I should have him g-gelded…” With that, the tears in her eyes spilled over.
“Oh, Laurie,” Jake said, reaching for her again. This time she didn’t stop him when he pulled her against his chest, but neither did she fully accept his comfort. She stood stiffly with his arms around her, sniffling miserably.
Laurie had never been weepy. Even as a little girl, when she’d fallen down or hurt herself, she’d struggled not to cry, especially if any boy, Jake included, was around to tease her. Jake could count on one hand the number of times he’d actually seen her give in to tears. One of those times was when he’d asked her to marry him.
Jake rubbed her back with one hand and stroked her hair with the other. Her hair was as soft as he remembered, and it still smelled like green apples. He struggled to keep his hormones firmly under control. She was not exactly receptive to his attempt at comfort; he could just imagine what her reaction would be if she sensed his desire for her.
“It’ll be okay,” he crooned. “Flash is a tough guy, from what I hear. He’ll come through this just fine.”
But Jake knew she wasn’t upset merely out of concern for the horse. Losing Flash’s stud service could be a fatal blow to the struggling Folly. But not if Jake had anything to say about it. As it turned out, Flash’s unhappy experience had given Jake the opening he needed, the ammunition that would convince Laurie he was the right man for the manager’s job.
“Let go of me,” Laurie said haughtily when she’d gotten the tears under control. “I can cry just fine without you.”
Jake chuckled. “But why, when I have this big wide shoulder here to accommodate you?” Just the same, he released her, giving her shoulder one final pat.
She grabbed a paper napkin off the table and wiped her face. “I don’t know why I’m getting so upset about this. Flash is an old horse. His macho days were numbered, anyway. His sperm count was getting lower every time I had him checked.”
Jake stifled a chuckle. The old Laurie he’d known, his child bride, would never have talked so casually in front of him about sperm count. He supposed that living on a breeding farm for four years had toughened her up a bit.
“You have other studs, right?” he asked.
“None with Flash’s lineage, or anything close to his reputation. People sought him out as much for his temperament as for his bloodline. He’s so gentle.”
That’s what Jake wanted to hear. “So you’ve never kept one of Flash’s sons or grandsons around as a backup?”
“Oh, we did, for a while. That was always Charlie’s plan. But I sold him. Some rancher from Oklahoma offered me so much money for him I couldn’t turn him down.”
“What if I could get you the services of one of Flash’s sons…for free?”
Laurie looked at him suspiciously, but curiously, too. “What are you talking about?”
“I happen to own a certain stallion named Flash Lightning—sired by Flash in the Pan, out of Heat Lightning.”
“Heat Lightning? The Heat Lightning?”
“If you mean the grand champion barrel racer from Sulphur Springs, that’s the one.”
“How did you come by this horse?”
“His leg was shattered in a freak accident at a horse show I was at. They were talking about destroying him— his competition days were obviously over. But I couldn’t stand to see such a beautiful animal destroyed, so I bought him and rehabilitated him. He’s still lame, but I don’t think that would interfere with his other capabilities.”
Jake could almost see the wheels spinning in Laurie’s mind. “How come I’ve never heard of this horse?”
“He didn’t have much of a chance to earn a reputation for himself before his accident, but he showed a lot of potential. And I’ve never offered him up for stud because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.”
“But you’d let me use him…for free?”
“Provided you give me the manager’s job. And, Laurie, Lightning is the spitting image of Flash in the Pan, right down to the white star on his chest. They could be twins.”
She opened her mouth to object, then clamped her mouth closed. Her expression was pensive. Jake could tell she was warring with herself, weighing the temptation of having Flash’s son at her disposal with the inconvenience of having Jake himself underfoot.
“What if things didn’t work out?” Laurie asked. “What if you turn out to be a worse manager than me?”
“Give me five minutes’ notice, and I’ll leave.” But he was pretty confident that wouldn’t be the case. He would work his butt off to get this place back in shape.
If Laurie did end up kicking him off Birkett’s Folly, it probably would be for a different reason. He’d had no intention of pursuing her, or engaging her in anything other than a friendly but professional relationship. He figured he’d given up the right to anything more the day he’d left her standing at the altar. But ever since he’d held her, filling his lungs with her scent, feeling her warmth and softness against him, he’d realized he would have a helluva time keeping his hands off her.
Laurie gave him a penetrating look. He stared back, waiting for her decision.
