скачать книгу бесплатно
This was the life and the career she was supposed to have. It had just taken her a while to find the right path. She’d been given her second chance, and the only thing that really mattered was where she went from here.
She’d risk that heatstroke happily.
The only fly in her happy ointment was Finn. The rational pep talks she’d given herself about being an adult and leaving things in the past had turned to gibberish within just a few minutes of actually seeing him. It hadn’t been her finest moment, that was for sure, but what had she really expected? The last time she’d seen him, she’d been hurt and angry, hurling ridiculous accusations at him because she hadn’t been able to analyze, much less articulate, what she was really feeling.
She yawned and closed her eyes. Makeup had had a hard time covering the bags under her eyes this morning. She’d intended to call her mom today, but a nap seemed a more prudent use of her time since she still had several hours of filming to do tonight.
A 5:00 a.m. alarm was never fun, but she’d spent a good portion of the night staring at the ceiling as she tried to sort through the morass of conflicting emotions caused by seeing Finn. Of course the few hours she’d managed to finally sleep had been haunted by dreams that left her restless. Dreams of Finn.
Damn him for being so tactless. Why couldn’t he be like normal people and politely ignore topics best left to die? Oh, no … He had to bring up personal junk in a professional situation.
And that was what she wanted to avoid at all costs. If she could, she’d give the entire planet amnesia so everyone would completely forget what had happened three years ago.
Too bad she couldn’t give herself amnesia as well.
Good times, bad times … They weren’t really classifiable as either. They were just “Finn Times”—fun and exciting at the time, but in retrospect not the wisest of choices and not an experience she’d like to repeat.
The residual tingle from last night’s dreams rather belied those thoughts, but Caitlyn purposefully pushed those aside. Finn was tempting—very tempting—but she couldn’t risk everything she’d worked for. Eyes on the prize.
But she would have to come to some kind of understanding with Finn. She’d accept her fair share of the blame, but that didn’t mean she could just forgive and forget. Until last night she’d thought she was over it, but it hadn’t taken long for all the old hurt to come rushing back.
Damn him.
She’d had more than her fair share of failed relationships—both before and after Finn—so why did Finn alone have the power to make her hurt?
Wallowing in the past would get her nowhere. She had to concentrate on now. Ignoring each other or acting hostile would be just as likely to attract attention and gossip. She could get through this …
A knock interrupted her drowsy thoughts. So much for that nap. She called, “Come in!” and reached for her water bottle.
“Stunning outfit, Cait.”
Her eyes flew open in surprise, confirming that Finn was, indeed, in her trailer, and it took a second for the meaning of his words to actually register. Once they did … Damn it. Face hot, Caitlyn jumped up from the couch and grabbed the robe hanging on the bathroom door. Keeping her back to him, she shoved her arms through the sleeves. Granted, the old-fashioned underwear covered more than her bathing suit normally did, but that didn’t change the fact she was wearing nothing but underwear and Finn was in her trailer. Kill me now.
She took extra time tying the belt to give herself a chance to regain her composure, but the chuckle coming from behind her didn’t help. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I’m afraid to ask who you were expecting, then.”
She refused to dignify that with a response. “Can I help you with something, Finn?”
“I thought we should talk.” Finn dropped a stack of papers on the table before crossing to the fridge and looking inside. Her hackles went up at his nonchalant attitude.
“Fine. If you’ll just wait outside, I’ll get some clothes on—”
An eyebrow went up. “No need to be so modest, you know.” It’s nothing I haven’t seen before hung in the air. That knowledge didn’t help her much at all. But then, Finn had probably seen so many women naked in his life maybe he’d have difficulty remembering exactly which bits were hers.
Not that she was having any trouble remembering his. Her skin heated. Oh, he was decently enough dressed today, in jeans and a simple black tee that fit snugly against his body, but memories of what lay under those clothes …
“Regardless, I’d rather you wait outside and we go somewhere to talk.”
Finn pulled a bottle out and offered it to her. When she shook her head, he unscrewed the cap and took a long drink. Then he sat instead of leaving. She had to wonder if he was being difficult intentionally.
“Why can’t we talk here? It’s hot out there.”
She pulled the robe tighter across her chest and wished it covered a bit more thigh. “I’d rather not.”
Finn’s exasperated look was almost funny. “What is with you, Caity?”
“Nothing. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be seen meeting privately in my trailer. It’s … inappropriate and might be misconstrued.” Ugh, she sounded like a virgin schoolteacher.
Finn’s look said the same thing. “You’re not serious?”
“As you helpfully noted last night, my being within fifty feet of you will be enough to send the paparazzi into a frenzy. I’d rather not give them more to feed on.” She went to the closet and grabbed jeans and tee shirt and waited for him to leave.
Finn ignored the hint, so she frowned at him to make her point. He gave her a look that questioned her mental stability instead, so she took her clothes to the bathroom and closed the door to get dressed.
“I’m afraid it won’t take even that much,” he called through the door.
“Exactly,” she shouted back. “As soon as we’re seen together—however innocent it may be—all those old, embarrassing pictures of us are going to resurface. I can’t live all that down as old news if there’s speculation there’s new news.”
Now decent, she came out and opened the shades on every window, giving anyone who walked by a clear view of what was going on inside. She’d have opened the door, but that would have just let the heat in. She wasn’t willing to go that far. Propriety would just have to be served by open shades.
As she took her seat on the far side of the table, Finn snorted. “You’re taking this a little far, don’t you think?”
“I’m just cautious. You may not give a damn about appearances, but I do.”
“How kind of you to worry about me.” The smirk told her he was deliberately misinterpreting her words.
“Only to the extent that your reputation will impugn mine. I think we’ve proved that you can raise hell and people will still respect you, but I can’t. It’s a horrible double standard, so I’ve worked very, very hard to clean up my act.” She picked up her water and drank deeply. After two disastrous starts, she really needed to bring her interactions with Finn back to the business they had in common. And only that. “So, what brings you by, Finn?”
He chuckled, and it put her on guard. “That very topic, actually.”
“Your reputation?”
“Paparazzi, speculation, new news …”
That was odd. Those were the top three things Finn normally didn’t even deign to give five minutes of his time to. He really didn’t care about tabloid gossip.
A warning tingled up her spine, but she forced her face to remain merely curious and clasped her hands together to keep them still. “Okay.”
“After meeting with Dolby and Farrell this morning, we’ve decided to close the set for the rest of filming. Considering our past, they agreed it might be disruptive or distracting to have to worry about uncontrolled press for the next five weeks.”
She held up a hand. “Wait.” Barring any disasters, they’d be finished filming here by then. They shouldn’t have to close the set permanently unless … Damn. She tried to keep her voice just this side of mildly curious. “You’re not going back to L.A.?”
“No. Dolby will head back with the second unit tomorrow.”
A headache began to form behind her right eye. “But why?”
“Because.”
She waited for him to elaborate, but there was only silence. The man could be so unbelievably frustrating. She rubbed her temples. Ugh. “So you’ll be here through the end?”
“Yep. Do you have a problem with that?” he challenged.
“No,” she lied. She had a big problem with that. Multiple big problems. You’re an actress. You’ll just have to act like it’s not a problem. “Do you?”
Finn looked completely unconcerned. In fact, he seemed to be biting back a smile. “Not at all.”
“Okay, then.” She took a deep breath. She, too, could play this game. “I’m glad you closed the set. I’d like to concentrate on my job. Not worrying about the press will make that easier. For all of us,” she added.
“Unfortunately we’re a little late for that.”
That warning tingle took on an unpleasant sharp edge. As Finn pulled a couple of pieces of paper out of the stack and pushed them toward her, that edge cut deep into her skin.
Pictures printed from a blog. Oh, no. Caitlyn’s stomach sank. He first thought was that some blogger had already dug up old pictures of her dancing on tables and being carried out of bars by Finn. Or, even worse, that one picture of her and Finn on his motorcycle, her skirt hiked up too far and Finn’s hand …
She didn’t recognize the pictures, but the relief that flooded in was short-lived. There had been witnesses last night, after all. Damn. A picture of Finn and that guy staring each other down, another of her and Finn sitting on the bench, and another of her walking away, anger written across her face and irritation stamped on Finn’s. She didn’t need to read the accompanying text to add to the ill feeling rolling through her stomach.
“Already? Geez.”
“I’d say welcome back, but—”
“I’d have to kill you if you did.” Caitlyn took a deep breath and blew it out. “Are you sure you can’t swap things around and go back to L.A.? Just let me get this film done without dealing with that kind of garbage?”
“No. And it would only postpone the inevitable, anyway.” He looked at her oddly. “I mean, you do plan to move back to L.A. and start working again, right?”
“That’s the plan. I’d hoped to have Folly under my belt, though, first. Something for people to talk about other than just my past.”
His eyes widened. “So you really don’t want that kind of publicity?”
Finally something she’d said was sinking in. “God, no.”
“It made you a household name.”
That reminder was unnecessary. She’d spent the last three years trying to change that association. “And it nearly destroyed me—personally as well as professionally.”
Finn shook his head. “I don’t think it was that bad.”
The heat had made her grouchy, he’d given her a headache, she hadn’t slept well, and this entire day was now sucking with the strength of a black hole.
She lost her grip on her temper. “Well, you aren’t widely known for your thinking skills, you know,” she snapped.
Finn didn’t bite back, and his cocky smile made her want to smack him. “Admit it. We had a good time.”
Not even under the pain of torture would she admit that. It didn’t matter now. She forced herself to keep her face neutral. “That was a long time ago. I’m not that girl anymore.”
“What a pity.” He smirked and took another drink.
Her jaw tightened so much it ached. I will not take the bait. He’s trying to get a rise out of me. Why, she didn’t quite know—other than his perverse sense of humor. She took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll just solider through, then. You’re right that I’ll eventually have to face it, so I might as well start now.” She rubbed her palms against her thighs. “You do your job and I’ll do mine, and the ensuing boring lack of anything tabloid-worthy will set me up for a return to respectability. And when this film does well I should be solidly set.”
“I watched yesterday’s rushes. They’re great. Really powerful stuff from you.”
The compliment came out of nowhere, shocking her into silence while at the same time warming her. More than it really should. It made her slightly suspicious, too. Finn had always been quick with compliments on her appearance or a new dress, but never anything deeper.
“Thank you. Rebecca is a wonderful character. My mom even said she wishes she was thirty years younger so she could have read for the part.”
Finn met her eyes over the table. “I can honestly say that, given the choice between you and your mother to be Rebecca, I’d choose you.”
Shock and disbelief warred with a strange swelling in her chest. There was nothing he could have said that would have meant more to her, and she knew he knew it. The suspicion sharpened, but while Finn might be glib occasionally, he was also brutally, unflinchingly honest when it came to the business. The air felt weighty after his statement, and the silence between them was thick.
Caitlyn managed to find her breath and shrug casually. “But after Cindy Burke, of course.”
Finn’s lips twitched. Then, with a speed that had her rushing to catch up, he turned very businesslike. “There have been a few tweaks made to the schedule. As you know, we’re a bit behind, and don’t want this to drag on forever. There are some long days ahead.”
She nodded.
“We’d also like for you to make a few more appearances to drum up publicity in the right places.”
The cautious edge to his voice jerked her eyes to his. “With you?”
“God, no. I said the right places.”
Caitlyn would have been relieved if not for the horror in Finn’s voice. So much for any warm, fuzzy feelings he might have stirred up. Or any other equally warm, yet not at all fuzzy ones, either. She glanced at the list Finn passed her.
One name was conspicuously absent. “And Naomi?”
“Naomi has her own schedule and agenda.”
She leaned back and sighed. This was juvenile high-school stuff on Naomi’s part. “In other words she doesn’t want to share her headlines. Especially with me. She never did.”
“Naomi isn’t stupid. She has a career to protect.”
“Like I could do any damage to her. Like I ever did. The only person I dragged down was me.”
“But you still managed to overshadow her.”
“For all the wrong reasons, it seems.” She shrugged. “But, you know, I crashed and burned, and she got what she wanted. I don’t know why she carries a grudge.”
That eyebrow went up again. “And you don’t?”
There was more than one way to interpret that statement, and Caitlyn didn’t want to get dragged back into a discussion of them. She chose to go with the subject of Naomi. “No. Naomi thinks this is a zero-sum game. She doesn’t think there’s room for us both in the papers. I know that’s not the case.”
A second, closer look at the schedule sent a chill down her spine. “What in the hell is this about?”
Finn shrugged. “The PR people want to shift attention from just you to you and Jason. Maybe get a couple of folks questioning whether you two are becoming a couple. It will shift focus nicely away from us.” His lips twitched. “And a romance blooming on the set with your on-screen love is a perfect way to kill two birds.”
Ugh. Was she destined to have to make a name for herself based on who she was—or supposedly was—dating? While Naomi got to keep the attention on the project and her role? It was degrading. It left a really bad taste in her mouth. “That’s a cheap ploy.”
If Finn didn’t stop shrugging in that who-gives-a-damn? way she might strangle him. As it was, she was grinding her teeth into a pulp to keep from shouting at him to stop.