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Except for that one little boy again. “What about the trident?”
Tom’s head snapped up. “The trident?”
“Yeah, is it true you get one? Have you got it with you now? What’s it look like?”
The kid sure knew his stuff. Tom had no idea how he knew so much.
“No,” said Tom, before clarifying. “I mean no, I don’t have it with me now, but I was given one.”
He didn’t know why, didn’t know what made him do it, but he sought out Caitlin’s eyes, locked his focus on her. “Most of the men I know have given their trident away with their heart. When they get married, they’ve given it to their brides on a gold chain.”
Tom swallowed. Wished he wasn’t looking at the woman who’d taken his mind off everything yet put his brain on high alert at the same time. He shouldn’t have looked at her like that, didn’t know why he’d even disclosed the importance of the trident. Not in that context.
“How sweet,” she said, hands clasped together.
But Tom didn’t miss the gentle pink blush that had crept up her neck and was curling toward her cheeks.
He should never have said it, not like that. Didn’t know what had come over him.
He had nothing to offer a woman, not now. He didn’t know who he was, how he would ever cope with what had happened to him, what he’d had to give up. He was lost.
Before, he’d have done anything to meet a woman as sweet and kind as he imagined Caitlin to be. Now, he was damaged, and he didn’t want anyone else drawn into that web of pain with him.
No matter how darn cute her smile was.
Caitlin Rose faced her class and gave them her most serious of looks. “Gabby’s in charge for a moment while I see our guest out,” she instructed, knowing full well they’d erupt into chaos the minute she stepped out the door.
The truth was, she’d probably be better saying goodbye here, in front of the children. It was silly to walk out of the room with him.
But regardless of her worries, she was more polite than that. He’d volunteered his time and been sweet with the children.
She only wished she didn’t have to look into those dark brown eyes that seemed to have caught on hers from the moment he’d walked into her classroom.
“Thanks for taking time out to talk to them,” Caitlin said as she threw a final, stern look over her shoulder at the children. “It was very sweet of you.”
Tom held the door and she ducked beneath his outstretched arm to emerge into the hallway. She wasn’t used to that. To manners like that.
It had been a long time since she’d been in the company of a man, and even longer since one had treated her in that way. With courtesy. Kindness.
She felt him behind her, could sense there was something else he was waiting to say.
“It’s weird for me, talking about the Navy like that.” Honesty laced with uncertainty. “But Gabby wasn’t exactly taking no for an answer.”
Caitlin smiled—she couldn’t help it. She might not be attracted to the whole tough-guy persona, but she could appreciate a man acknowledging that a kid held all the power. She liked his manners.
“I’m sure they loved having you here. It beats most of the other parents we’ve had,” she told him, leaning against a locker as she stood facing him. He was at ease, feet shoulder-width apart, back effortlessly straight. “We usually have the odd doctor or even a lawyer, but a real-life Navy hero? Not often.”
Caitlin felt the smile flee her face as soon as the expression changed in his eyes. They turned stormy, the brown suddenly looking like the black of a raging thundercloud.
“I’m not a hero.” It sounded as though he had to bite down on his words to force them out. He didn’t look at ease any longer, his stance appearing fierce, displaying the edge of a temper.
Goose pimples sent a trail across her skin. “I can tell Gabby’s very proud of you,” she said, changing the subject and ready to back off. This wasn’t a situation she was prepared to be drawn into. “Thanks for coming in, I hope we meet again sometime.”
Caitlin turned before he had a chance to answer.
He might be handsome and kind to his niece, but she’d sensed something in him then she didn’t ever want to be witness to again.
She’d grown up with a military man for a father. Her one and only serious boyfriend had been a Marine. And they’d both known only one way to prove their point, to get what they wanted.
As far as she was concerned, big strong men had one thing in common, and their strength wasn’t something she’d ever fall for. Not again.
Caitlin stole a quick breath before pushing the door open and facing the kids again, knowing it would take her twice as long as she’d been out of the room to quieten them down.
Caitlin glanced over her shoulder to find Tom still standing there, his shoulders bearing the faintest droop.
But his eyes were still on her. Blazing.
She averted her gaze and walked into the room.
He might be attractive, but she wasn’t interested. Not in the least.
She was a teacher. She was happy on her own. Satisfied on her own.
And the last man she’d want if she did decide to let someone in was a Navy SEAL. Even a former one. Because his height, the breadth of his shoulders, the darkness of his eyes … it told her enough.
He just wasn’t her type. Period.
It took Tom a moment to kick into gear, but it was a moment of hesitation that took him by surprise.
He never hesitated.
But the look on Caitlin’s face had been like a blade through his stomach, had repulsed him. Because he wasn’t that guy.
He never snapped at women. Never let his emotions get the better of him.
But ever since he’d been back, he hardly even recognized himself. If it weren’t for Gabby he’d have sunk into a darkness that was still lingering on the edge of his mind.
Because all he could think of whenever anyone called him a hero or made him remember his last days as a SEAL was that he’d failed. That he’d turned into a man he’d never wanted to become.
Never leave a man behind. That was their motto, words that were so true to him they were like the beat of his own heart.
And not only had he been forced to leave one of their own behind, he’d left his career behind, too. Because he’d put himself in the line of fire and it was a risk he should never have taken. Something he’d pay for for the rest of his life.
The acrid smell swirled around him, made him drift back to consciousness. He tried to lift his head, tried to shake it, wanted to know why there was a high-pitched scream echoing through his head.
His hand shook, but his head wouldn’t move. When it did, when he regained control of his body, what he saw made him wish he’d stopped breathing and never had to witness the carnage that surrounded him.
Tom shuddered.
He hated the word hero more than a tomboy hated a dress.
Even when it came from the lips of a woman so beautiful, so obviously genuine and all things good.
Tom whirled around and stormed down the hallway, back the way he’d come in. Right now, he had to get back to work. Had to do something. Because the busier he kept himself, the easier it was to forget.
CHAPTER TWO
CAITLIN stretched, watching herself in the mirror as she went through her routine. The movements were as natural to her as walking, but she never tired of them. In less than ten minutes her class would arrive, tiny girls full of chatter and squeals, but for now the studio was quiet and she could indulge in a moment of silence.
There had been a time when she’d imagined ballet would be her life, but now it was like a long-lost love. Movements her muscles would never forget, a craft she’d always respect for the self-discipline it had taught her.
“Sorry we’re a little early.”
Caitlin turned, her stretches forgotten. A mom was standing with her perfectly attired daughter beside her. “No problem, I was only warming up.”
She ushered her student in and took a deep breath as she glanced out the window and saw the other cars pulling up. But the outline of one parent made her fingers curl around the blind, holding it in place so she could keep watching the road.
Only he wasn’t technically a parent.
Mr. Navy SEAL himself was leaning against the hood of a large 4x4. Long denim-clad legs stretched out, arms folded to show off golden skin and eye-raising biceps protruding from a crisp white T-shirt. She could see Gabby jumping up and down, holding hands with a little friend.
Caitlin let the blind go and stepped back. What the hell was she doing ogling him?
“Miss Rose?”
A shy voice made her turn, distracted her, but her eyes were still begging to flick back to the window, no matter how much her brain tried to argue.
“Miss Rose?”
“Two minutes class, then we’ll start,” she instructed, beaming smile locked in place as she addressed the girls. “You may start your stretches.”
Caitlin surveyed the room and touched a child on the back as she passed, trying to keep herself busy. She didn’t know why she was giving the man even a second thought, but something about him was pulling her like a magnet to metal. The flicker of kindness in his eye when he looked at his niece, the determined fix of his jaw as he’d stood listening in class today.
But there was a very valid reason she didn’t date tough guys, and he definitely fell into that category. Because she knew firsthand that physical strength didn’t necessarily mean the guy was built only to protect you. She’d already learned that the hard way.
Tom ran his hands over his hair, still surprised to feel the length of it. He’d always kept it close to buzzed off, but now that he wasn’t on active duty, he’d let it grow out.
“Are you going to stay?” Gabby’s face was turned up to him.
He dropped his hand to her hair, stroking her forehead with his thumb. “Sure thing, kiddo.”
She skipped off and into the building, and Tom was left walking on his own. There weren’t many other parents there, just a few moms standing in clusters inside, no doubt gossiping, so he headed for the door. Thought he might watch for a …
Wow.
The tiny ballerinas in a sea of pink surrounded their teacher. She was dressed in skintight black leggings and the palest of pink tops crossed over her breasts and tied at the back. She was pointing her toes, asking the giggling girls to do the same.
He’d had no idea that she was the schoolteacher and the dance teacher.
And he might have sat in the waiting area and kept his eyes off her had he known.
“I haven’t seen you here before.”
Tom turned, dragged his gaze from the all too distracting Miss Rose. “Sorry?”
He locked eyes with a middle-aged mom sipping from a paper coffee cup. “I just said that I haven’t seen you here before, and we don’t get many dads, so I’m sure I’d remember.”
“Ah, I’m Tom,” he introduced himself, still fighting the pull to glance back into the studio. “I’m looking after my niece.”
The woman held out her hand and clasped his warmly. “Then that’s why I didn’t recognize you.”
He rocked back on his heels, wished he’d dropped Gabby off and come back to collect her instead of waiting. He didn’t exactly enjoy small talk.
“Not married, or do you just not like to wear a ring?”
Oh, hell. This was definitely the kind of small talk he didn’t like to engage in.
“Single,” he said, the smile leaving his face. He didn’t take kindly to being interrogated. Never had, never would.
The woman didn’t look at all as if she’d picked up on his leave me alone signs, either.
“Well then, I guess you’re allowed to check out the teacher.”
Heat hit Tom’s cheeks before he could fight it. Jeez, had he been that obvious?
“You must be mistaken,” he said, voice cool. “I was watching my niece. She asked me to stay within sight.”
The mom looked confused, but Tom didn’t change the expression on his face. He’d been trained not to betray a hint of weakness, and here he was mooning over a pretty girl as though he’d never seen an attractive member of the opposite sex before. Sure, she was beautiful, but he wasn’t in the market for a relationship, and he didn’t want to be called out like that again. The last thing he needed was to hurt the feelings of a fragile paper ballerina who doubled as his niece’s teacher.
“Nice to meet you,” Tom said, turning his back and putting an end to the conversation.
He crossed the room and sank onto a chair, but he still couldn’t look away. Because even from there, he could see through the door to the happiness and laughter in the studio. Gabby danced around as if she couldn’t think of anywhere better to be in the world, and the mesmerizing Miss Rose twirled about amongst the girls as if she was loving every minute of it.
And she probably was. Darkness clawed its way into his chest and threatened to sink its teeth into him, but he steeled his jaw and fought it, pushed the haunting clouds of memory away.
Just because he was troubled didn’t mean everyone else around him had to be miserable. He’d gone through hell, but he’d emerged alive, and he wasn’t going to let anything drag him down.
Or at least he wasn’t going to be pulled any further into the web of emptiness than he’d already allowed himself to be.
Tom was struggling not to zone out. He’d never tried so hard in his life to focus, had never paid anyone so much attention in his life, but still … Gabby was talking a million miles an hour and it was hard to keep up.
“So, did you see me? Did you see how fast I can twirl? Were you watching when …”
He didn’t hear another word. Lost the fight to stay tuned in to what she was saying.
Because a slender frame, braced against the cool autumn wind with only a flimsy coat around her, appeared in his rearview mirror. Ankles bare and peeking out from skintight black leggings, but with her hair out and wrapping around her face; a contrast to the tight bun she’d had it pulled back in before.
“Tommy?” Gabby had just figured out he wasn’t listening. He had no idea what she’d been saying. All he could focus on was the slim figure retreating from view.