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Jessica shrugged and stood up, grimacing as she moved. Nathan jumped to his feet and held out a hand to help her, which she took, taking a moment to steady herself. The warm touch of her palm gliding into place alongside his took him by surprise, even though he was the one to initiate it.
“Just a leg up into the saddle would be great,” she told him, stopping to give Patch a pat before reaching for the reins of her own mount. “God only knows if I’ll ever be able to get up from the ground again on my own.”
Nathan bent and took her knee into his palm, counted to three then hoisted her up in the air. She landed gracefully in the saddle, her back beautiful and straight despite how much pain she must have been in. He knew she’d had a back injury, as well as doing some pretty major damage to one of her legs, but he didn’t want to pry.
“Nathan, I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I’m not usually so horrible.”
He chuckled. “Good, because otherwise I’d have to think your grandfather was a liar. He made you out to be the perfect granddaughter.”
Jessica laughed and he found himself grinning straight back at her. There was something so broken about her, so fragile, but at the same time seeing her sit up there in the saddle showed how strong she was, too. She was torn apart, emotionally and physically, but definitely not broken. Kind of like him. Only being around her was forcing him to come out of his shell, to be the stronger one, when recently he’d felt so lost, so weak.
“What’s that old saying about rose-tinted glasses?” she asked, still smiling.
Nathan laughed. “Mind if I ride back down with you, or do you want some time alone?”
“Sure thing. It’s about time I started saying yes to company instead of pretending like I’m better off on my own.”
Nathan tried to mount as gracefully as he could and failed terribly, but thankfully Jessica was either too polite to say anything or she actually hadn’t noticed. He might be able to stay in the saddle, but that was about the extent of it.
“Not bad getting to ride alongside world eventing’s number two rider,” he joked.
“Well it’s a title I’m fast going to lose, so you’d better take the chance while you can.”
She was attempting to make fun of what happened, he got that, but he knew she was heartbroken over the accident. Jock had opened up to him about a lot of things, especially about Jessica, and he knew he had to tread carefully. The only thing her grandfather hadn’t made clear was how beautiful she was in real life—the photos in the media didn’t do her justice. Every time he’d seen her interviewed she’d either been wearing a helmet or had her hair pulled back into a tight bun, dressed in formal riding attire. But with her long blond hair loose, and wearing jeans and a T-shirt, she looked like a different woman. Only he had to keep reminding himself who she was, that she was Jock’s granddaughter. Nathan wasn’t ready for anything more than a bit of fun, and that wasn’t a category that Jessica Falls belonged in. Not ever. If he hadn’t been so close to her grandfather, he would have let that be her decision, but it wasn’t. Jock had been too important to him, which meant he wasn’t going to even think about Jessica like that.
And the truth was, Nathan didn’t know if he’d ever be able to commit to any kind of relationship again after what had happened to his wife, which meant nothing could ever happen between them. But it had been a while since he’d had any female company whatsoever, and Jessica wasn’t exactly hard to be around, or to look at, even if she was grieving. And looking was entirely different from letting anything happen.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_a91bd48c-6ddb-582f-8c76-f85831c6169b)
“SO TELL ME what you’re doing in New Zealand.”
Jessica slowly rubbed her horse down, paying careful attention to brushing his sweat marks. She would usually have been more vigorous, but her back was starting to ache and she didn’t want to push her body too hard, especially since the most strenuous activity she was supposed to be doing was moving from the sofa to the kitchen. The pain was bearable most of the time, unless she overdid it, and then it would hit her like a ton of bricks.
She glanced over at Nathan, watching as he stroked Patch’s face. The horse was leaning in to him like they were old friends, and she felt terrible all over again for being so rude to him when she’d found him on the trail. She’d had no right to accuse him of...she didn’t even know what.
“I needed some time out from my job and I’d heard how beautiful it was here,” he said, looking up but still scratching Patch.
“So you just jumped on a plane and ended up in New Zealand?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, something like that.”
She’d been joking, but it seemed she wasn’t far off the mark. “So is it everything it’s made out to be?”
Nathan put down the brush he’d been holding and walked out of the box stall. “I did the whole touristy thing when I first arrived, but then I found this place a few months ago and I still haven’t left.”
Jessica untied her horse and nodded to Nathan to do the same with Patch.
“So you’ve been holed up here with just an old man and some horses for company?” she joked.
Nathan laughed. “Something like that. I’ve been working my way through a stack of DVDs, staying out of trouble.”
“Sounds like exactly what I need to be doing.”
“Says the woman who’s out riding horses instead of resting up on doctor’s orders.”
She smiled as they walked through the barn leading the horses out into the open. It was nice to just chat with someone, feel relaxed, even if she did feel guilty for being happy without her granddad around. Her emotions were all over the show right now, and so was her mood, but there was something about Nathan that was drawing her to him.
After letting the horses loose and watching them trot across the field, Jessica and Nathan walked side by side in the direction of the barn again, and Jessica slung her halter and lead rope over her shoulder. At least being home had calmed her, made her feel connected to something again. She was always more settled when she was around horses.
“So it’s a different pace of life for you here?” she asked.
“Yeah, you could say that.” He looked across at her, his expression more serious, the smile that had braced his lips earlier completely gone. “I had a job I thought I loved, but I was so caught up in working every waking hour that I lost sight of what was important.”
Jessica sensed a sadness within him, something that she couldn’t quite figure out. There had to be a reason he’d flown halfway across the world, just leaving behind whatever he had in the UK, which meant she was either right about him hurting, or he’d done something he regretted. Or maybe she was just overthinking the whole situation.
“What type of work did you do?” Jessica asked.
“I was a banker,” he said. “I managed a private hedge fund, and I was more married to my work than I was to...” His voice trailed off. “To anything else in my life.”
She waited for him to continue but he didn’t, leaving her wondering exactly what he was referring to.
“Are you expecting anyone?” he asked.
Jessica glanced toward the driveway, saw an unfamiliar black vehicle approaching the house. Great.
“I have a feeling that’s the lawyer,” she said, fighting the urge to get back on a horse and flee in the opposite direction. “Which means I have to face up to reality instead of hiding away for the next few days.” She hadn’t expected him to turn up on her doorstep quite so promptly—a day to settle in would have been nice.
“Anything I can do?” The concern in Nathan’s voice was matched by his gaze, his bright blue eyes telling her that he genuinely cared.
“How about you come over for a drink tonight.” The words left her mouth before she’d even had a moment to think.
The worry lines turned into smile wrinkles when he looked at her this time. “Why don’t I grab something for us to eat and bring it over? You can’t have much in the pantry, and I doubt you’ll have time to get groceries. Lawyers take forever to go over wills.”
Jessica braved a smile. It wasn’t the will she was worried about—she knew her granddad had left her everything—it was the debts she’d inherited that the lawyer would be wanting her to deal with. Debts he’d been more than eager to contact her about even when she’d been in hospital.
But she did kind of want to see Nathan again. “Dinner sounds great.” Her stomach was rumbling just at the thought of food, even though she’d hardly been interested in eating since her accident, and then since Jock had died.
Nathan touched her shoulder, tentatively, his touch light, as if he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do or not. “Don’t let him push you around, and if you need a sounding board, I’m right here.”
“Thanks,” she said, fighting the urge to shrug his hand away and at the same time wishing he’d never take it off her.
“Your granddad and I talked about everything, so if you need someone, it’s not an empty offer.” He smiled at her. “You can trust me.”
Jessica wanted to know more, wanted to know why and how he’d become so close to her only family member in the months before he’d died, but now wasn’t the time. Tonight she’d try to find out everything she needed to know.
“See you around six?” she asked.
Nathan nodded and withdrew his hand, shoving it in his pocket instead and leaving her wishing he was still touching her, that the heat from his palm was still resting on her shoulder. He might be a stranger, but the physical contact had been oddly comforting.
“See you then,” he called out.
Jessica walked briskly toward the house, eyes trained on the man now standing at her front door, waiting. She didn’t know why, but she had a strange feeling about the lawyer she’d only ever spoken to on the phone. It was an uneasy notion, a niggle of worry in her mind that she couldn’t shake, and she needed to forget all about her curiosity about Nathan and focus on her granddad’s state of affairs.
The farm meant everything to her, and if it came to it she wasn’t going to give up the property without one hell of a fight. It was her last tie to her family—to her mom and now her granddad—and that made it the most important thing in her life.
* * *
“So you’re telling me that my only option is to sell this place?”
Jessica stared at the lawyer, listening to what he was saying but finding it almost impossible to process. She was trying hard not to cry, refusing to admit that there was no other option, but from what he was saying it was almost impossible not to admit defeat. Her entire body was numb.
“Your granddad didn’t make the wisest decisions over the past year, Ms. Falls. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”
His tone was grave, but he hardly met her gaze, wouldn’t hold eye contact for more than a moment and she didn’t like him at all now. She also didn’t believe that Jock would have left her in such a bad financial position, that the man she’d spent her entire life looking up to could have lost so much in such a short time. It just wasn’t right, especially given how cautious and successful he’d been in the past.
“And you’re certain there hasn’t been, I don’t know, some sort of mistake? That there isn’t other property or money?” She stood, fidgeting too much to stay seated. “There must be something, or at least some sort of explanation.”
Jessica turned to look out the window, looking at the land that she was going to be forced to part with. She had nothing—no job, no future doing what she’d trained for her entire life, and now no inheritance. Every horse, every blade of grass, everything about the farm meant more to her than she could ever explain to anyone. Except for her granddad. He’d turn in his grave if he knew she was being forced to sell, which was why nothing about this situation seemed right to her.
“Ms. Falls?”
She was about to turn, to focus her attention back on the lawyer, when a movement caught her eye. Nathan. Her mysterious guest was crossing the yard, heading for her back door rather than the main front one, and he was carrying two large brown paper bags. She smiled for the first time since she’d stepped inside. If anyone could help her understand what had happened in the weeks and months before her granddad had passed, it was Nathan. She knew they’d been close, and from what she’d learned today, they’d spent a lot of time together.
“I need a few days to process all this,” Jessica said as she turned, squaring her shoulders and staring the lawyer straight in the eyes. She could have been imagining it, but she was certain he looked uncomfortable.
“My advice would be to list the property for sale immediately and consider how to mitigate your losses.”
She gave a curt nod and planted her hands on the desk, the coolness of the oak beneath her palms helping to calm her, taking strength from the piece of furniture she’d so often seen her grandfather sit behind.
“Once again, I appreciate your advice, but I’ll be taking a few days to consider my options.”
The more she could find out from Nathan, the better. But that wasn’t the only reason she wanted to see him. There was something about the man that intrigued her, something unassuming about the stranger who’d befriended her granddad that made her want to know more. He was hiding something behind his quiet smile, she just knew it, and she wanted to know what it was.
“I’ll see myself out,” she heard the lawyer mutter, clearly frustrated with her. He’d probably expected her to admit defeat and sign anything he waved in front of her.
Jessica squared her shoulders, even though her back ached from simply standing so straight after she’d been on her feet all day. Men like this lawyer might think she was weak, that she’d been through so much recently that she’d lost her strength, but mentally she was more determined than ever. To get back in the saddle—which she’d already done—to compete again one day, and most of all to make her grandfather proud and continue his legacy. So she wasn’t going to let this lawyer, or any other man, walk all over her. She’d made her mind up years ago that she was in charge of her own destiny, and she needed to hold on to that belief no matter what life threw her way.
“How long did you say you’d been working for Jock?” she asked, her tone cool.
He stopped, briefcase clasped in one hand, the other fisted at his side. She didn’t trust him at all. Her grandfather hadn’t acquired this farm and a handful of commercial investments without being smart.
“Ah, for some time now. I’d have to consult my records to be absolutely certain.”
She nodded and watched him leave. If her intuition was right, she shouldn’t trust this man or anyone else until she’d figured out what her grandfather’s state of mind had been before he died. If there was one thing he’d taught her, it was to trust only herself in life.
* * *
Nathan had seen Jessica in the office when he’d walked past, but he hadn’t acknowledged her, instead letting himself in and sitting in the kitchen so he wasn’t disturbing her. The oversize wooden table was bathed in sunlight, and he was nursing a beer when Jessica finally walked in to join him. He’d thought about not turning up, or leaving a note with the take-out food and leaving, but he’d made himself stay. It was time to start facing up to reality and stop hiding away, even if that did seem like mission impossible to him right now.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, raising the glass bottle.
Her smile reminded him of a look his wife had once given him, years ago, when they’d first met, and it surprised him by making him smile straight back at her. She looked a combination of exhausted and determined, but she also looked happy to see him.
“You can drink the lot,” she told him, opening and shutting the fridge, then disappearing from sight. She reemerged with a bottle of wine. “This is more my taste.”
He watched as she searched a few drawers for an opener.
“I think you’ll find it’s a screw top,” he said in a low voice, grimacing when she glared at him.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jessica frowned then shook her head. “I can’t even open a bottle of wine. This is definitely not my day. Un-freaking-believable.”
Nathan jumped up, leaving his beer on the table, and leaned over the counter to take the bottle from her. Her determined look had been replaced with one that verged on defeated, and he didn’t like it. Whatever the lawyer had said had really taken it out of her. He knew what defeated felt like, and it wasn’t an emotion he wanted her to experience.
“Bad meeting?” he asked.
“The worst,” she admitted, turning away only to reach for a glass. She set it on the counter. “I’ve basically spent the last couple of hours listening to some idiot lawyer try to tell me that the one person I admired most in the world, who’s looked after me my entire life, had lost his marbles. Either that or he wasn’t the astute investor I believed him to be—only I don’t buy that theory for a second.”
“That’s rubbish,” Nathan shot straight back, anger flaring within him. “I might have only known Jock a short time, but he was as sharp as a tack right to the end. That makes both theories impossible.”
“Really?” Jessica asked, taking the glass of wine he’d poured and taking a long, slow sip. “Do you honestly believe that? You’re not just saying it to make me feel better?”
Nathan shook his head and moved back to the table, motioning for her to join him. Her gold-flecked eyes were wide again, locked on his as she crossed the room and sat across from him. She tucked her long hair behind her ears, one hand on the glass, the other palm down on the table. He forced himself to glance away, out the window, to stop from staring. There was no denying she was beautiful, even if he was trying not to think about her like that—she was strikingly feminine yet at the same time fiercely strong. And something about that drew him to her as much as it made him want to walk straight out the door.
“Jock was old, but his memory never wavered. We must have spent hours talking every day, and if we weren’t just shooting the breeze talking, he was teaching me about horses,” he told her.
She sighed and took another sip. “So you’re telling me I shouldn’t believe the lawyer? That I could be right?”
“I’m telling you that you need to trust yourself.” Nathan leaned forward and nudged the bags of food in Jessica’s direction. “So how about we eat and you tell me what this so-called lawyer’s been saying.” He was pleased they had something to focus on while they ate—it took some of the pressure off.
Her gaze shifted, moving to the takeout he’d brought. “How many dishes did you order?”
Nathan grinned straight back at her. “I had no idea what you liked, so I went for Chinese and chose a little of everything.”
Jessica was still smiling when she started poking around, taking cartons out and looking inside. “I’m thinking we’ll both have enough leftovers to keep us in food for a week.”
He liked her easy smile, the way she’d gone from not trusting him to confiding in him, and it was as if he already knew her. After hearing so much about her from Jock, he’d been wanting to meet her, and that was before he’d realized how gorgeous she would be. Not to mention he’d been expecting someone a little more...broken. Jessica might be in pain, might have almost died and ended her career, but she didn’t look anything close to broken to Nathan. The fiery blonde was all bent out of shape over whatever the lawyer had said to her, and he wanted to know more. Because if he could help, there was nothing he wouldn’t do, not when it meant helping the granddaughter of the man who’d brought him back from the brink and made him believe he at least had a future ahead of him. He had a long way to go, but life wasn’t as dark as it had seemed when he’d first arrived.
She held up the throwaway chopsticks and broke them apart then pulled a lid off one dish, expertly helping herself to noodles like she was as used to using them as he was a knife and fork.
“So what do you think of this place?”
Her question took him by surprise. “I wouldn’t have stayed so long if I didn’t love it.”
Her sigh made him look up, forgetting what he’d been about to eat.
“Why?” he asked.
She met his gaze, eyes dull as she opened her mouth to answer him. He tried not to stare at her lips, at the way they moved when she blew out a breath.
