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Anger spiked through him, unreasonable, completely unusual. He should simply let her words slide off. But for some reason, they stuck into him like barbs, tore at his pride. Perhaps it was because he knew how wrong she was. That to be an animal, he would have to act with gut emotion. Intuition borne of feeling. And he possessed neither. The realization made him frighteningly, acutely aware of the void in him. The pit that seemed as though it could never be filled.
He felt poised on the brink of it. As if the tendrils of darkness reaching up for him might wrap themselves around him. Might drag him down into the abyss.
He stood, pushing his chair backward. “An animal? Is that what you think I am?”
“You’ve dragged me back to your lair.”
“I brought you here,” he growled, circling the long table slowly, his fingertips brushing the top of each chair he passed, “at your request.”
All of the emotion, the intensity from the past few weeks, threatened to overwhelm Chloe. She was past the point of reason now. She was nothing more than a burning ball of kinetic energy, the forward motion unstoppable. She’d held it in for too long, let it build as she sat in her apartment, numbed by shock.
But the shock was gone now, and the trajectory of her emotions set. “Because I couldn’t just let you take him!”
“I was hardly going to tear him from your arms.” But he would have. They both knew it.
“But you were going to take him. As soon as possible.”
“It’s what needed to be done. It has nothing to do with you. None of this has anything to do with you,” he said, his voice hard, simmering with barely contained anger. “You were the vessel. Nothing more.”
She’d only ever felt the desire to hurt one other human being physically. Had only ever had to fight the urge to stop herself from attacking one other man. She’d never followed through on the feral, savage desire to hurt her father because she’d seen exactly what he could do with his fists. Had seen that he wouldn’t hesitate to hit a woman. Not just once, but until she could no longer get back up.
But she didn’t care about the consequences now. She wanted to hit Sayid, with everything in her. Inflict pain on him for hurting her with his words. For telling the truth.
For saying that Aden was nothing more than her nephew, even though she’d carried him in her body. Given birth to him. In the big picture, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t hers and she had no claim on him. But spoken from that arrogant mouth, with such harshness, it was more than she could stand. The truth of it so raw and evident, so unwanted.
She stepped toward him without thinking, just as he rounded to her side of the table, her fist pulled back. He caught her arm, stopping her, tugging her up against him.
“You think you could hurt me?” he asked, his hand fitted securely around her arm without causing her any pain. His strength was so great, he didn’t seem to be exuding any force. It only made her angrier. And now that the dam had burst on her control, she couldn’t stop it all from pouring out.
“I might have been able to break your nose. It doesn’t matter how much muscle you have, that’s still a susceptible spot.”
“If you think a broken nose would hurt me… you have a limited understanding of what I am capable of. Of what I have endured.”
He lowered his head, dark eyes boring into hers. Heat bloomed in her stomach, her muscles quivering. He smelled like sandalwood, and clean skin, and there was no reason for her to notice something like that. No reason at all.
It wasn’t the smell she usually associated with men. Her father was alcohol, sweat and tobacco. Occasionally, blood.
And as an adult, the only time she’d gotten close enough to a man to smell him was if they were sharing a microscope. And then he usually smelled like chemicals.
“If I release you, will you promise to put your claws back in?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Only if you watch what you say.”
“Then we’re at an impasse because I don’t have to watch what I say.”
“You’re right,” she said. “You do suck at diplomacy.”
“I never claimed otherwise,” he said, his tone rough.
“I don’t have to like what you say. And I don’t. Not at all.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said, his voice low. “But I am telling you the truth. I’m not going to wrap the situation up as something else and try to make it more palatable. It is an ugly situation. Nothing about it is simple.” He released his hold on her and stepped back. “But we will survive it. As will Aden. If we do it right, he will thrive. This is about him. Not about us.”
Her heart was thundering in her temples, her head spinning. She put her hand over the place where his fingers had been. Her skin was hot, not to the touch, but beneath the flesh. Inside of her. She’d never felt anything like it before. Didn’t understand how it was possible.
“On that we can agree,” she said, aware, painfully, that she sounded breathless. That she was breathless.
“Then perhaps we can put a halt on the dramatics?”
“When you put a halt to your douche-baggery.”
Dark brows locked together. “What is this word?”
“It means you’re being a jerk. But more than a jerk even,” she said. “Worse.”
“No one talks to me like this,” he said, his tone firm, not imperious. He was simply stating a fact, and she wasn’t all that surprised by it. She didn’t know why she felt empowered to speak to him like that. Maybe it wasn’t empowerment so much as a need to push him away. Anger was safer than the pull she felt toward him. Much safer.
“No one who has any idea of how to act in polite company talks to people the way you do,” she said.
“I spend a lot of time outside of polite company.”
She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “Clearly.”
“Our discussion is through.”
“What about dinner?”
“Suddenly, I am thinking I might take it in my room. Or an enemy prison. Either is preferable.”
“You… You…”
“I will set up an account in your name. You will be paid a generous salary. I will be meeting with the press tomorrow.” A sudden rigidity came over him, his body tensing, his jaw tightening. “Aden will not be brought outside, but he will be in the smaller meeting room with the members of the media who possess special passes. You will hold him for the duration of the interview, but you will not speak.”
“I will not speak?” she repeated, incredulous.
“No one will be asking questions about string theory which means it will not be necessary for you to do so. Now, you are dismissed.”
“I am dismissed?”
“You keep repeating me. It wastes time.”
“I’m… I can’t believe you’re… dismissing me.”
“You didn’t want to come and eat with me in the first place and now you’re complaining that you don’t have to?”
“Unbelievable.”
“I concur.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Not on the same thing, I don’t think.”
“Very likely not.”
“Do I at least get dinner in my room?”
The look he gave her was almost comical in its seriousness. “No. It’s bread and water for you, or nothing. Same as the rest of my staff. Didn’t you know we’re barbarians out here in the desert?”
“Be serious.”
“I am. Be careful or you might wake up to find yourself leg-shackled to my bed.”
It was as if a conduit had powered up between them, sparking to life and sending heat and energy on an invisible path between them. It held her in its thrall, forcing her to look into his eyes, dark, fathomless and magnetic. Completely and utterly compelling. And then it was as though the electricity had found a way beneath her skin, traveling along her veins, wrapping itself around each fiber in her body.
She couldn’t look away, even though she wanted to—needed to.
And then the image he’d evoked suddenly hit her, clear as day. Her, tied to the bed, with his large, muscular body looking over her. Absolute strength. Absolute power. With her completely helpless, at the mercy of a man who possessed no tenderness.
A surge of fear overrode the strange electricity in her blood, snapped her out of her trance.
“You are… despicable,” she spat.
“Perhaps I am,” he said, dark eyes unchanging, unflinching. “I have been called a great many things, it’s not inconceivable that some of them are true. It’s very likely most of them are.”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“Why should I care what anyone thinks? I was created to get results, no matter the consequence. I was not designed to win public favor, but to keep my people safe. By any means necessary. The grit to do that does not come from a beautiful place. Damn my image. It is worth nothing.”
“But you… you’re the leader now. Your job isn’t the same as it was.”
Black eyes turned to ice. “I am only the stop gap. I’m only here until Aden can step into his position. Not a moment longer.”
“And what about Aden? You’ll be his closest family. Will you… will you at least try to be decent for his sake?”
A shadow passed over Sayid’s face, his expression horribly flat now. Dead. “The best thing for Aden would be if I stayed well away from him. And that is what I plan to do.”
CHAPTER FOUR (#u8c8e8ecd-f3db-5ae3-ac67-0175a2185bbc)
“HOW DID YOU NOT REALIZE the child had survived?”
Sayid swallowed, looking out at the sea of people who sat, awaiting an explanation on how it was that an heir who had been lost to them, was now found.
Cold sweat beaded on his forehead, dripped down his back. The irony of it was not lost on him. He had looked into the cold eyes of death and had felt nothing, had stared down men with guns, dodged land mines on the battlefield, and he had felt nothing. No fear. No hesitation. But here looking down at the reporters, he felt cracks forming, felt something in him starting to break.
He was not a public speaker. He was not a man of words at all.
“There was much confusion following the death of my brother and his wife. The accident was… there were many people involved and it was not immediately made known to us that the sheikha had survived long enough to give birth.”
“And is this the nanny?”
“Yes,” Sayid said, focusing on a spot on the back wall, not letting his focus stray to Chloe, or the tiny bundle she clutched in her arms. “Chloe was simply doing as instructed. Protecting the heir of Attar.”
“A true heroine,” said a female reporter in the back.
Sayid nodded, trying to come up with something to say, something that wasn’t on the carefully planned script he’d gone over in his head, but his brain was moving slowly, words hard to grasp on to. “Chloe took a potential risk to her own safety to protect the child. She is indeed a heroine.”
“And when will the heir be free to step into the position of ruler?” This from another reporter at the back.
Sayid gritted his teeth, fighting against the hostility burning in his veins. He craved the desert right then, the freedom of it. Craved the heat of the sun, the cleansing quality of it. It had the power to strip a man, burn away everything but that which was necessary.
Right now he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, the walls closing down over him. “He must reach the age of majority before he can rule.”
“Then is it to be understood that matters of national diplomacy will be handled by you until then, Sheikh?” asked one reporter, well-known for his rather antigovernment stance.
“There is no one else,” Sayid said, the answer falling flat. “If there are no more questions, we are done here.” He turned and stepped down from the podium, going to Chloe’s side and placing his hand on her elbow, guiding her from the press room and into the corridor.
“The security guards will ensure the press stay put for the next fifteen minutes. I don’t want them watching which wing of the palace we go to.” That angle of the conference was straight in his mind, and he relished the return of control, of certainty.
Chloe looked at him, wide blue eyes strangely calm. Strange, because he felt like there was a live monster roaming around inside of his body and she had just passed through the same situation, yet looked unaffected. “You know a lot about security.”
“That’s as intelligent an observation as if I had said you know a lot about molecules. It is my duty. Who I am.”
“I was giving you a compliment,” she said, her tone stiff, “it won’t happen again.”
“It doesn’t matter to me either way.”
“You’re a frustrating man.”
“And you aren’t the ideal woman, but here we are.”
“You are…” Her cheeks turned pink, anger glittering in her eyes now. And it gratified him. Made him feel a sense of satisfaction that she wasn’t quite so calm. “You are such an ass.”
“You say that like you think I might care. Like I might be able to change it. I don’t think you understand, Chloe, this is all there is to me.”
She blinked slowly. She was upset now, he could tell. And he found he liked it even less than her calm. “I have to go and study.”
“And I’m certain that Malik can find more papers for me to sign. He finds my discomfort amusing, I think.”
“Will I see you again today?”
He shook his head. “I should not think so. You won’t require my presence, will you?”
“I shouldn’t think so,” she said, echoing his words.
“Good,” he said, clipped. “Then I will go about my business, and you may go about yours.”
Sayid turned away from Chloe, away from those unguarded eyes, and headed back toward his office. A tomb for the living, in his opinion. Each step sent a spike through his body, caused a subtle breaking inside.
He had told Chloe that the palace was preferable to prison. Today, he wondered.