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Her eyes flashed with sudden spirit. ‘And I’m very good at doing as I’m told,’ she told him bitterly, and he groaned at his own thoughtlessness.
‘Sara—’
‘Shouldn’t that be Victoria?’ she enquired painfully. And then, as if she’d just recalled why she was lying on the bed, ‘Did I pass out?’
Matt nodded. ‘Like a light.’ He got up. ‘Stay here. Please. I’ll be back in a few seconds.’
Sara looked up at him. ‘You did say—Max was alive?’ she ventured.
‘Yes.’ Matt hesitated. ‘Why would you think he wasn’t? What happened before you ran away?’
Sara moved her head from side to side on the pillows. ‘He was so still,’ she whispered, obviously thinking about it. ‘I couldn’t find a pulse. I was sure—’ She pressed her lips together. ‘Oh, God, he’s going to be so mad when he finds out what I did.’
Matt felt his anger surfacing again, and determinedly forced it back. ‘I’ll get my gear,’ he said, heading for the door. ‘Just—relax, okay? I won’t be long.’
She didn’t answer, and he could only hope that she’d be too distracted by what he’d told her to disobey him. It wasn’t just an excuse to get his hands on her again, he assured himself. She was in such a frail state she might pick up some infection without her being aware of it. He didn’t want to think what the ravages of blood poisoning might do to her fragile system. He’d seen too many tragic cases in the past.
Without taking the time to check what was in the bag he kept in his bathroom, he simply snatched it out of the cupboard and charged back along the landing. Only to encounter Mrs Webb at the top of the stairs.
‘Something wrong?’ she asked, her sharp eyes immediately noting the medical kit. ‘Do you need my help?’
Matt gave her a resigned look. ‘No help needed,’ he said, aware that Sara’s door was ajar and that she could probably hear everything that was being said. ‘Miss Victor just needs an adhesive plaster, that’s all.’
‘Hurt her heel, has she?’ Mrs Webb arched an enquiring brow. ‘I could have told her that those shoes she wears aren’t suitable for around here.’
‘Something like that,’ Matt agreed, his nerves screaming in frustration. ‘If you’ll excuse me…?’
‘Very formal all of a sudden, aren’t we?’ remarked Mrs Webb with a sniff. ‘Oh, well.’ To his relief she turned towards his daughter’s bedroom. ‘I expect I’ll hear all about it from Rosie. She seems to know what’s going on.’
‘Nothing’s going on,’ said Matt, gritting his teeth, but he was talking to himself. The housekeeper was already out of earshot.
Aware of the tension in his shoulders, Matt determinedly tried to relax before going back into Sara’s room. He half expected to find her locked in the bathroom, but, although she was sitting up, she was still on the bed.
‘I guess you heard that,’ he said, hesitating only a moment before closing the door behind him. ‘My housekeeper likes to feel she’s in the know.’
‘Yes.’ Sara’s tone was dry. ‘Well, I suppose it’s only a matter of time before she realises who I am.’
Matt shrugged. ‘We’ll deal with that when we have to,’ he said, sitting down beside her and opening the leather bag. ‘Now, let’s see: what have we got? Gauze; adhesive plasters; bandages.’ His fingers hesitated over the syringe and the advantages of injection. But, dismissing the idea, he added, ‘And some antiseptic ointment. Good.’
‘This really isn’t necessary,’ she murmured, and he saw she was embarrassed all over again. She’d pulled her dress down, too, even though she was running the risk of staining it. Her dignity still meant something to her, at least.
‘We have to talk,’ said Matt, opening the packet of plasters and examining its contents. ‘Why don’t you start by telling me why you thought your husband was dead?’ He paused. ‘Did you try to kill him?’
‘No!’ Her denial was instantaneous, and, looking into her horrified eyes, he couldn’t help but believe her. ‘I wouldn’t do that,’ she added, with a revealing tremor in her voice. ‘Max fell. Down the stairs in our apartment. I tried to find a pulse but I couldn’t.’ She took a breath. ‘It wasn’t Max who called the emergency service. It was me.’
‘So why didn’t you stay and speak to them?’ Matt asked, hoping that by getting her to talk to him he could divert her attention. He urged her back against the pillows again, avoiding her eyes as he lifted the hem of her skirt. ‘I don’t understand why you ran away.’
‘Don’t you?’ The laugh she gave was without humour. ‘No, well, perhaps it is hard for you to understand how I felt. I suppose the simple answer would be to say I panicked. I was afraid no one would believe my version of events.’
Matt frowned. ‘Okay,’ he said evenly. ‘I’ll buy that. Having seen what the bastard’s done to you, you’ve got a point.’ His jaw compressed as he cleaned the abrasion on her hip with a sterile wipe. ‘But for goodness’ sake, Sara, why did you stay with him?’
Sara caught her breath, and he guessed her hip was stinging. ‘You don’t know that Max did this to me,’ she argued. ‘If you met him, you’d think he was a charming man. Hugo thinks so, and so does my mother. As far as she’s concerned I’m an ungrateful wife.’
The area around the abrasion was clean now, and Matt stared at it for a long time, trying to contain his anger. Who the hell was Hugo? he wondered, resenting the thought that some other man might be involved. He didn’t like the idea that there was someone else she cared about.
‘Who is Hugo?’ he asked at last, when he had himself in control again. But the question was too personal and he felt her eyes upon him.
‘Hugo is Max’s brother,’ she replied at last, and Matt cursed his own stupidity. He remembered now seeing the man’s name in the article he’d read about her disappearance. Her lips twisted as she added, ‘He’s harmless.’
‘But he doesn’t stop his brother from beating up his wife every chance he gets,’ pointed out Matt harshly, and she sighed.
‘I’ve told you,’ she said, pressing a protective hand to her midriff. ‘Hugo doesn’t know anything about it. He—he thinks Max and I have the ideal marriage. He’s a hopeless romantic at heart.’
Hopeless? Right. Matt shook his head. But touching her was becoming the finest form of torture, and the idea that some man felt he had the right to brutalise her infuriated him anew. ‘What about your father?’ he demanded roughly. ‘Doesn’t he care?’
‘My father’s dead and my mother wouldn’t want to believe me. She has a very comfortable lifestyle, thanks to Max,’ she said unsteadily. She looked down. ‘Have you finished?’
‘Not nearly,’ retorted Matt, his tone savage. ‘Dammit, Sara, women don’t have to put up with this sort of thing today. Why don’t you get a divorce?’
She stiffened then. Her muscles locked, and he felt the withdrawal of a confidence he’d hardly begun to explore. ‘You don’t understand,’ she told him tersely, and he knew if he hadn’t been applying a gauze coated with antiseptic ointment to her hip at that moment she’d have scrambled off the bed and left him. She licked her lips. ‘Thank you for doing this, but please don’t think it gives you the right to offer me advice. I know what I’m doing—what I have to do. And getting a divorce isn’t an option!’
‘Why the hell not?’
Matt was impatient, but she just regarded him with cool guarded eyes. ‘Well, your knowing who I am solves one problem,’ she declared, ignoring his outburst. ‘I can’t stay here now.’ She hesitated. ‘I’ll have to go back.’
‘No!’
The word was torn from him. She couldn’t be serious. He tried to concentrate on the two strips of adhesive he was smoothing over the gauze. To go back to a man who clearly had no respect—let alone any love—for her. For God’s sake, after what she’d told him about the circumstances of her departure he had no doubt that Max Bradbury would have reserved some particularly unpleasant punishment for embarrassing him when she got back.
His hands trembled as he completed his task but he didn’t immediately release her. Although he knew she was eager to end this awkward encounter, his hands lingered on her skin. He wasn’t unaware of the impropriety of his actions. He was running the risk of her accusing him of God knew what! But at that moment it wasn’t important. He simply didn’t want to let her go.
His eyes drifted down, over the quivering muscles of her stomach. The dusky hollow of her navel tantalised him, made him catch his breath. Below her navel the lacy briefs offered little protection, the triangular shadow that marked the apex of her legs inviting his hungry gaze.
He wanted her, he realised, even as he rejected the thought as unworthy of him. This was no fantasy; this was real, this was honest—though he doubted she’d believe his feelings had no strings attached. She’d probably find any overture he made towards her, however innocent, utterly repulsive. He wasn’t arrogant enough to think she felt any attraction to him.
Yet still he prolonged the moment. And, as if becoming aware that the atmosphere between them had changed, she struggled to get up. ‘Please,’ she said, and although there was no fear in her eyes there was withdrawal. And a mute appeal he found hard to resist.
‘You do please—me,’ he told her huskily. And despite herself, he was sure, she gave a helpless little moan.
‘Oh, Matt,’ she whispered, her voice breaking with emotion.
And, unable to prevent himself, he bent his head and kissed her, brushing the bruised skin with his lips.
She jerked beneath his caressing touch, her hands balling into fists at her sides. He would have liked to think it was to prevent herself from touching him, but he didn’t believe that. Indeed, apart from one revealing twitch, she made no move either to encourage or stop him, and Matt knew it was up to him to show some sense here.
But it was hard to be sensible. Her skin was so tender, so delicate. She tasted good, too, the light film of perspiration that had beaded her skin when he’d cleansed her hip like nectar on his tongue. Even the faint scent of the ointment was not unpleasant. It certainly wasn’t enough to deter his desire. He wanted to taste every inch of her. In spite of everything, he couldn’t stop.
His breath dampened her flesh. His lips burned a circle of kisses around her navel before beating a sensual path over her flat stomach. His thumbs urged the folds of the dress aside, revealing the hem of her bra. The enticing hollow between her breasts was visible to his impassioned gaze. He caught his breath. He wanted to remove her bra, to expose the rounded swell of her small breasts. He could see her nipples were already straining at the delicate lace that confined them. He longed to feel those hard peaks against his palms.
Dear God!
His own reactions to what he was doing could no longer be ignored. Between his legs his arousal throbbed with a painful insistence, and the blood was pounding in his head.
But he had to stop. With considerable effort he lifted his head and looked at her, encountering an unexpected trace of regret in her gaze. He’d expected many things: indignation; disillusionment; anger, even. What he hadn’t expected was that she might actually have welcomed his lovemaking, and his brows drew together in momentary disbelief.
But her first words didn’t match the fleeting expression that had now disappeared entirely. ‘Are you going to let me up now?’ she asked, her voice as cold as her words. ‘Or are you going to demand payment for your services? Max said all men were the same in that respect.’
Matt’s face flamed. Jerking back, he moved to the foot of the bed, wondering how he could have fooled himself into believing that she might want anything from him. She’d merely tolerated his lovemaking, borne his maudlin sympathies. For God’s sake, she was married to someone else. What did he expect?
But then, as if she’d instantly regretted the harshness of her words, Sara gave a despairing little moan. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, pulling down her skirt and scrambling across the bed towards him. She swung her feet to the floor beside him. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.’
‘Didn’t you?’ Matt wasn’t prepared to put his feelings on the line again. He was already deploring the impulse that had got him into this situation. Having her forgive him for being such an idiot was no compensation at all. Getting up from the bed, he thrust his hands into the hip pockets of his jeans, swayed back on his heels with what he hoped looked like cool indifference. ‘Well, that’s good. I’d hate you to think I’d planned to seduce you as well.’
‘I don’t.’ She stood up, too, and although she was considerably smaller than he was without her high heels she was still too close for comfort. ‘Matt, I—I know you meant well, but—’
‘Spare me the lecture,’ he said, his own voice harsh in his ears. ‘I’ve obviously embarrassed you—embarrassed us both—and I apologise.’ He stepped back a pace, to put some space between them. ‘I’ll leave you now. You can let me know what you intend to do when—’
‘No!’ She caught his arm then, her cool fingers slipping almost possessively about his wrist. ‘Please, Matt. Don’t go away mad at me.’
Matt expelled a heavy breath, trying not to consider what she wanted now. ‘I’m not mad at you,’ he said, after a few moments of self-denial. Forcing himself to concentrate on the reason why he’d come to her room in the first place, he nodded towards the loveseat. ‘I bought you a couple of things in Ellsmoor. You may want to change before you leave.’
Sara’s lips parted. She didn’t even look at the jeans and tee shirt he’d found in the mini-market. ‘You want me to leave?’ she asked anxiously, her hands tightening on his arm, and he stared at her with guarded eyes.
‘I understood that was what you wanted,’ he said, stifling the sudden urge he had to beg her to stay.
Sara swallowed. ‘It’s what I ought to do,’ she admitted. ‘My staying here—well, it could put you in an awkward position.’
‘Do I look like I’m worried?’ Matt’s lips twisted. ‘It’s your decision. I’m not sending you away.’
Sara gazed up at him. ‘So—I can still stay until tomorrow?’
‘You can stay as long as you like,’ retorted Matt roughly, taking the hand resting on his arm and raising it to his lips. His mouth grazed her knuckles before seeking the network of veins at her wrist. ‘I may not approve of what you’re doing, but you’re safe here. I can promise you that.’
‘Oh, Matt.’ She brought her free hand up to his face, cupping his jaw with unsteady fingers. ‘I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to thank you.’
‘No thanks are necessary,’ Matt told her flatly. But when he would have turned away she reached up, and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth.
‘I’d like to stay,’ she whispered at last, drawing back. ‘For a few days at least, if you’ll let me.’ She moistened her lips. ‘But I’m going to have to let—let Max know that I’m all right.’
‘As opposed to being at his mercy?’ suggested Matt, with some bitterness, but it was a reprieve and he was grateful for it. ‘Why don’t you leave that to me? You write a note and I’ll get it to him without running the risk of his finding out where you are.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You can do that?’ She trembled. ‘But how?’
‘You don’t want to know,’ replied Matt, removing her hand from his face before temptation got the better of him. Then, at the anxious look she was wearing, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t cause any trouble. Not until I know what kind of hold he has over you, at least.’
He walked to the door, eager now to withdraw and consider his options. ‘Check out the gear. I’m going to speak to Mrs Webb. And don’t fret that she’s not trustworthy. She is. If it hadn’t been for her this place would never have become the sanctuary it is.’
Sara looked painfully vulnerable as she stood watching him leave the room. But he wondered if he wasn’t being the world’s most gullible fool for taking her in. Or for being taken in by her? he mused, wanting to restore his sense of balance. He might be judging her husband without cause. But he didn’t think he was. It might be foolish, but he trusted her.
But how the hell was he supposed to write fiction in his present frame of mind?
Chapter Eight
SARA spent the rest of the morning in her room, trying to come to terms with what Matt had told her.
Max wasn’t dead, she repeated incredulously. He was alive. The fears she’d had on his behalf had been groundless. He’d been taken to hospital, sure, but he’d been well enough to discharge himself the following morning. And since then he’d been trying to cover himself by pretending that she had disappeared, that she might have been kidnapped.
She trembled. After Matt had left her, she’d taken up a position on the window seat, gazing out at the sun-drenched cliffs and the water beyond with a feeling of disbelief. She still found it hard to accept that she was here, hundreds of miles from London; that she’d escaped. However grateful she was that Max had survived, the manner of her departure remained a constant source of amazement. How had he let her get away?
Of course, he had been unconscious at the time. He must have hit his head when he fell and for a few minutes he’d been dead to the world. Dead to her, too, she thought bitterly. She should have known it would take more than a simple fall to kill a man like Max Bradbury.
Not that she wanted him dead, she assured herself. That was too high a price to pay, even for her freedom. But if only he had been a reasonable man, a man she could appeal to. When it had become obvious that their marriage was not what he had expected, that she was not what he had expected, why couldn’t he have let her go? It was what any other man would have done; any normal man, that was. But it hadn’t taken her long to find out that Max was anything but normal.
She supposed they must have been married for about six months when he’d struck her for the first time.
She’d already learned not to contradict him, particularly if he’d been drinking. He had said some incredibly cruel things to her, things he’d said he regretted bitterly when he was sober again, and she’d believed him. The crude words he’d used, deriding her for the smallest thing, belittling her intelligence, accusing her of being something she was not, had seemed so uncharacteristic of the man she’d believed she’d married. She’d been sure that it was the alcohol that was responsible for his ungovernable rage, and for a while he’d been able to hide his real nature from her.
But then everything had changed. It had only taken the discovery that she was on first-name terms with the commissionaire who worked in the lobby of their apartment building to invoke an almost insane fury. She’d been totally unprepared for the fist that had suddenly bored into her midriff and she’d been doubled over, gasping for air and sanity, when he’d stormed out of the duplex.
Of course, he’d apologised when he’d come back. He’d made the excuse of stress at the office, of being madly jealous of any man who spoke to her, of his own uncontrollable temper. He’d sworn it would never happen again, showered her with expensive presents until she’d been convinced of his regret.
Until the next time…
But she didn’t want to think about that now; didn’t want to consider what a naïve fool she had been, or how easily Max had managed to persuade her that she was actually to blame for his outbursts. In the beginning, desperate to make her marriage work—for her mother’s sake as well as her own—she’d seized any excuse to explain his violence. The truth was, she hadn’t been able to believe what was happening to her. She’d deluded herself that once Max realised she wasn’t interested in any other man he’d come to his senses.
It hadn’t happened. The violence had just got worse and there’d been nothing she could do. Max had made it very clear that he would never let her go, and she’d had the very real fear that if she did try to free herself he would turn his anger on her mother.
She was glad now that they’d had no children. Max would have had no compunction about using them in his unequal struggle for possession. Besides which, she realised now that his jealousy would never have allowed a third person to dilute the complete submission he demanded of her.
Thrusting these thoughts aside, she got to her feet and crossed to the small pile of clothes Matt had left on the loveseat. There were jeans, which she judged might fit her very well, a couple of tee shirts, two changes of cheap underwear, the kind that was available in supermarkets, and a pair of trainers.
She pressed her lips together after she had examined the clothes, her eyes filling with tears suddenly at his kindness. This presumably was the ‘gift’ he’d brought her, only to find her cowering behind the bathroom door. She’d been so afraid of him seeing her, of him finding out what Max had done to her, but now she was glad he knew. It was such a relief to have someone she could talk to, someone who wouldn’t judge her. And, although she’d admitted nothing, she suspected Matt knew exactly what had been going on.
Sooner or later, she knew, she would have to go back, but please God not yet. Whatever excuse she gave, Max was never going to believe her version of events. Apart from anything else, she had shamed and humiliated him—or at least that was how he would see it. He was never going to forgive her for that.
Trying to ignore the inevitable, Sara carried the jeans and one of the tee shirts into the bathroom and took off her dress. The voile dress had been new, bought to go to the art exhibition Max had been planning to visit the evening when fate had overtaken both of them. It was strange to think it was the dress that had led to Max’s accident. But then, it was on such simple things as these that her marriage had foundered.
As she hung the dress on the back of the bathroom door she thought how foolish she’d been to think that Max might like it. He hadn’t chosen it, and for a long time now he had chosen all her clothes. But he had encouraged her to attend the fashion show with the wife of one of his colleagues, and, after seeing it modelled, Sara had fallen in love with its style and elegance.
Its style and elegance! Sara’s lips curled in painful remembrance. Max hadn’t thought it was either stylish or elegant. He’d said it was the kind of dress only a tart would wear, that she’d chosen it because she’d wanted to flaunt herself. She was quite sure that if he hadn’t fallen down the stairs he’d have torn the garment off her, and she wished now that she’d taken the time to grab a change of clothes before fleeing from the apartment. She didn’t like the dress now; she hated it. She took a breath. Hated him! God help her.
The jeans were a little big, but that didn’t matter. At least they weren’t tight on her hip. The tee shirt was cropped and ended a daring inch above her navel, which she worried about a little. But then she remembered Max wasn’t going to see her. For now she could please herself what she wore.
The trainers fitted beautifully. Sara guessed Matt must have checked the size of her shoes before buying them. Whatever, she looked infinitely better. She felt almost her old self as she went downstairs at lunchtime.
The first person she encountered was Mrs Webb. The housekeeper was setting the table in the dining room again and Sara halted uncertainly, not sure she wanted to face another grilling.
But Mrs Webb had seen her and, straightening, she arched her brows appreciatively. ‘You look nice,’ she said, with none of the animosity that she’d exhibited earlier. ‘Matt’s got good taste.’
