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‘Leave them,’ he directed briefly. ‘Pearls should be worn, or they lose their lustre.’
‘My—successor might not agree with you.’ Cynthia, she knew, had always coveted the necklace.
‘Let that be my problem, rather than yours.’ His tone brooked no further argument. ‘Consider them on loan, if you wish.’
‘After all, what’s one more thing among so many?’ Joanna muttered.
‘I beg your pardon?’ His brows lifted.
She said wearily, ‘It doesn’t matter,’ wondering at the same time if he’d gone to Larkspur Cottage to oversee the disposal of his property.
‘I’m going to have a nightcap.’ Gabriel rose and went across to the antique corner cupboard. ‘Care to join me?’
Prudence suggested she should refuse and go. On the other hand, she didn’t want to seem altogether churlish…
She said sedately, ‘Thank you. I’ll have a brandy.’
He nodded. ‘Then choose some more music for us to drink to.’
Joanna went reluctantly to the CD player. If he imagined she was going to allow this to develop into a cosy evening tête à tête, then he could think again. Just because his rendezvous with Cynthia clearly hadn’t worked out as planned…
A lot of the music was frankly too overtly romantic for the occasion. I need drama rather than passion, she thought, selecting Rimsky-Korsakov’s ‘Scheherazade’.
‘Good choice,’ Gabriel approved as he brought over their brandies. ‘This has always been one of my favourites.’
‘I—I didn’t know.’ Joanna cradled the brandy glass between her palms, breathing its heady aroma.
His mouth twisted. ‘Music is just one of the many gaps in our knowledge of each other.’
He added another log to the fire and stood up, dusting his hands.
‘I gather that’s Charles and Sylvia’s new tenant you were chatting to this afternoon.’ He reseated himself and picked up his own brandy. ‘Known him long?’
She shook her head. ‘I met him just this morning.’
‘You amaze me,’ he said equably. ‘I took him for an old and valued friend.’
She shrugged. ‘Perhaps one relates to some people more quickly than others.’
‘Clearly one does.’ His tone mocked her formal phraseology, and she stiffened. ‘As a matter of interest, how did you meet him?’
‘I wouldn’t have thought it was a matter of any interest to anyone except ourselves,’ she said coolly.
‘Then you’d be wrong.’ He studied the colour of the brandy. ‘While we remain married all your acquaintances—fascinate me.’
She hesitated. ‘I met him this morning while I was riding. He was walking along Wellow Lane.’ She paused, mentally skating over the exact circumstances of their meeting. ‘We—got into conversation, that’s all.’ She threw him a challenging look. ‘Is there anything wrong in that?’
‘You tell me,’ Gabriel murmured.
‘Or,’ she went on, ‘has some ban been imposed on my making friends at all?’
‘Not in the least.’ He took a meditative sip. ‘What’s his name?’
‘Gordon,’ she said with exaggerated clarity. ‘Paul Gordon. If it means anything to you.’
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘And I’d like to keep it that way.’
She stared at him. ‘Meaning?’
‘Meaning I’m sure I can rely on you to behave with discretion.’ His tone was silky.
Joanna put her brandy down on the sofa table with a bang that threatened to shatter the fragile crystal.
‘My God.’ Her voice shook. ‘Congratulations, Gabriel. You’ve just elected yourself king of the double standard.’
‘Meaning?’ He turned her own question against her.
‘Meaning your own record wouldn’t stand up to close scrutiny,’ she flung back at him.
‘Harsh words, sweetheart. On what do you base this assumption?’
‘Your rake’s progress has been well documented,’ Joanna said scornfully.
‘Gossip columns,’ he said, ‘are not the most reliable sources—whatever they themselves believe.’
‘Are you saying you’ve passed the last two years in total celibacy?’
His mouth tightened. ‘No. When you’re hungry, Joanna, you’ll take whatever crumbs are available.’
Her voice shook. ‘And your appetite is naturally prodigious.’
He gave her a thoughtful glance. ‘I’m sure you always thought so.’ His sigh was brief and harsh. ‘Yes, I’ve strayed, but not seriously, and not often. Is that what you wanted to know?’
‘Your love life is no concern of mine.’ She could feel the pulse hammering in her aching throat. ‘But the lady who follows me may take a different view.’
‘I hope so,’ Gabriel drawled. ‘I really couldn’t face another battery of wifely indifference.’
Joanna got to her feet, outraged. ‘You—you hypocrite,’ she said unevenly.
It was you, she thought, who was indifferent. You who didn’t care—who left me here, bleeding to death.
He rose too. ‘More harsh words?’ His voice bit. He walked over to the CD player and silenced it. ‘Perhaps I should teach you some manners.’
‘Take some lessons yourself—in fidelity,’ she hit back at him.
‘Oh, I’ve already learned that, my love.’ His smile seemed to grate across her shivering skin. ‘My bride-to-be will have nothing to complain about, I promise.’ He laughed harshly. ‘Isn’t it amazing what love can do?’
The pain that consumed her was intense. From some reserve of strength she hadn’t known she possessed she managed to raise her head. To smile, even.
She said, ‘That’s not something I feel qualified to judge. But—to return to Paul Gordon—I’ll be discreet if you are, Gabriel. And that’s all I’ll guarantee. So it’s up to you. Goodnight.’
She turned towards the door. He reached her in two strides, his fingers closing like a vise on her shoulder.
‘Joanna—listen to me…’
‘Go to hell.’ She glared at him. ‘And take your hands off me.’
Behind them the drawing room door opened quietly.
‘My goodness,’ Cynthia purred, her narrowed eyes flickering over them. ‘Is this a private fight, or can anyone join in?’
Joanna flashed her a glittering smile. ‘It’s the end of round one.’ Her voice sounded brittle. ‘And I’m ahead on points.’
Head high, she left the room, shutting the door behind her. Closing them in together. As she crossed the hall she could hear the murmur of voices, and Cynthia’s tinkling laugh.
The bravado seemed to ebb out of her suddenly. She leaned against the newel post, staring unseeingly into space.
What price one hollow victory? she asked herself wretchedly. When the war is already lost? And you know it.
And, slowly and defeatedly, she began to climb the stairs towards the loneliness of her bedroom.
CHAPTER EIGHT (#ulink_70e57ad2-5e79-503a-824a-da04e1a0ca48)
‘THE decorator has finished, and my new bed should be delivered tomorrow,’ Cynthia said complacently. ‘So I can move into the cottage later this week.’
She smiled at Joanna across the breakfast table. ‘Which will be much more convenient—for everyone. Don’t you think, my pet?’
‘If you say so,’ Joanna agreed quietly, frowning over her post.
‘It looks very nice now that it’s all been painted. I probably wouldn’t have bothered, as I don’t plan to stay there very long, but Gabriel insisted.’ Her smile widened. ‘He’s incredibly considerate—in every way.’ She sighed nostalgically, then put her head on one side. ‘Why don’t you pop down this afternoon and have a look at the cottage? It is your property, after all.’
‘I’d almost forgotten,’ Joanna returned with cool irony. ‘And I’m afraid I’m busy this afternoon. I promised Mrs Barton I’d help at the hospice shop.’
Cynthia’s eyes glinted maliciously. ‘Still maintaining the fiction that you’re the Lady of the Manor, darling? I wonder what penance you’ll have to do for deceiving the vicar’s wife.’
Joanna folded her napkin and rose. ‘Don’t worry, Cynthia. Living in this house, under these conditions, is penance enough for all the sins of the world, believe me.’ She gathered up her letters and left the room.
In the hall, she paused, drawing a deep, steadying breath. How much more, dear God, was she supposed to take?
The past fortnight had been a nightmare. She had felt all the time as if she was tiptoeing on thin ice. Since their last confrontation Gabriel had treated her with cool civility, and she had tried to respond in the same way.
During the daytime she’d done her best to keep out of the way. It was Gabriel who now rode out with Sadie first thing in the morning, while Joanna deliberately postponed her own ride until later in the day. She even delayed coming downstairs in the morning, to avoid encountering him at the breakfast table.
But some meetings at mealtimes were inevitable, and she’d been forced to observe Cynthia’s blatantly proprietorial attitude towards him—the hand on his sleeve, the whispered asides, the teasing, pouting looks.
She could only be thankful that neither of them chose to dine at the Manor very often, and that they spent their evenings together at the cottage—the lack of the new bed being apparently no deterrent.
Joanna bit her lip. She couldn’t afford to think on those lines, she adjured herself firmly. She had to stay detached—impersonal. It was the only way.
She looked down at the letters in her hand. But for once it seemed as if her avoidance policy would have to be temporarily abandoned. Because she needed to talk to Gabriel.
With a sigh, she crossed to the study door and knocked, waiting for his terse ‘Come in’ before entering.
As he registered who it was his expression became closed, almost wary.
He rose formally to his feet. ‘Joanna—this is an unexpected pleasure.’
She heard the question in his voice—the surprise. And another note, less easy to analyse.
He looked tired, she thought, his eyes shadowed, the lines on his face strongly marked. But then she recalled the reason for his faintly haggard appearance, and hardened her heart against a pain that went too deep for tears.
She said coolly, ‘Don’t worry. This isn’t a social call.’ She put the letters she was carrying on the desk. ‘I’m beginning to get requests from local people—organisations. The Red Cross want to know if they can hold their usual garden party here in July. The Riding Club are asking us—you and I—to present prizes at the gymkhana. The list is growing, and I— I don’t know what to tell them.’
‘Because of our personal circumstances?’ His tone was ironic.
She nodded. ‘It seems wrong to—pretend that everything’s fine and normal, when…’ Her voice tailed away.
Gabriel sighed sharply. He picked up the letters. ‘Would you like me to deal with these?’
‘Thank you. That might be best.’ She gave him a fleeting, wintry smile, and turned away.
‘Jo—wait.’ The harsh urgency in his tone halted her in her tracks.
‘Is something wrong?’
He said grimly, ‘Just about everything, I’d say. Will you sit down for a moment, please? We need to talk.’
She paused, then took the chair by the fire, perching tensely on its edge.
‘What is it now?’ She lifted her chin. ‘More rules for me to obey? I’ve tried to follow your regime.’
‘I’m sure you have.’ He was silent for a moment. ‘The fact is, Joanna, it was never feasible—for either of us. Sharing a roof like this is an impossible situation.’
She was very still. ‘As I’ve tried to tell you.’
‘Indeed you did.’ He bent his head almost defeatedly. ‘So I’m looking for a way out—for both of us. I thought you’d want to know.’
‘Yes,’ she said, dry-throated. ‘Yes, I’m—very grateful.’ She hesitated. ‘May I know what’s made you change your mind?’
It was Gabriel’s turn to pause. He said reluctantly, ‘Let’s say I’ve had time to think. And I’ve been made to see how unfair this situation is to you.’
In other words, pressure from Cynthia, she thought with a pang. She told me herself she wasn’t planning to stay long at the cottage. No, she wants to take over here, and for that she needs to be rid of me.
Aloud, she said, quietly, ‘So—what do you suggest?’
‘I don’t know yet. There are all kinds of ramifications that need going into thoroughly.’ The tawny eyes were sombre. ‘But I’ll make sure you don’t suffer, Jo.’
Ah, but I am suffering, she cried out in silent anguish. More than you can ever know. Because, although living here has been purgatory, leaving—never seeing you again—will be the worst kind of hell. And how will I bear it?
