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She swallowed convulsively, turning to the silent man by the window. ‘Sandro.’ Her voice was pleading, all pride forgotten. ‘Please don’t do this. Don’t try to take him away from me.’
‘I have already been deprived of the first two years of his life,’ he returned implacably. ‘There will be no more separation.’ His lip curled. ‘How remiss of you, cara mia, not to inform me of his existence. Even last night, when we talked so intimately about your living arrangements, you said nothing—gave no hint that you had borne me a child. Did you really think you could keep him hidden forever?’
She moistened her dry lips. ‘How—how did you find out?’
He shrugged. ‘I employed an agency to trace you. They suggested broadening the scope of their enquiries.’ His voice was expressionless. ‘I received their full report last night after you left. It made fascinating reading.’
She stared down at the carpet. ‘So there was someone watching me when I got back,’ she said almost inaudibly.
‘Can you wonder?’ Sandro returned contemptuously. ‘I have a beautiful son, Paola, and you deliberately barred me from his life. You preferred to struggle alone than ask me for help—or give me the joy of knowing I was a father.’ His gaze was cold, level. ‘How can such a thing be forgiven?’
‘It was over between us.’ Polly lifted her chin. ‘What did you expect me to do—beg?’
‘I think,’ he said softly, ‘that is something you may have to learn for the future.’
There was a silence. Polly could hear her mother weeping softly.
‘No court in the world,’ she said huskily, ‘would take a baby away from his mother.’
‘Yet it is his grandmother who has the care of him each day.’ His tone was harsh. ‘I was watching when you came into the room, and he did not try to go to you. Is he even aware that you are his mother?’
Polly gasped, and her head went back as if he had slapped her.
She said unsteadily, ‘I go out to work to support us both. As the contessa has probably told you, the hours can be long and difficult. But I needed the money, so I had no choice.’
‘Yes,’ he said, his voice quiet and cold. ‘You did. You could have chosen me. All that was needed was one word—one sign.’
There was an odd intensity in his voice, which startled and bewildered her. And also rekindled her anger.
He talks, she thought, as if I deserted him.
A sudden noise from her mother—something between a sigh and a groan—distracted her, and she went over and sat on the arm of her chair, putting an arm round her shoulders.
Oh, God, she thought. To think I was going to tell her that I was taking Charlie away. But how could I have guessed this was going to happen?
‘It’s going to be all right, Mum,’ she said softly. ‘I promise.’
‘How can it be?’ Mrs Fairfax demanded, almost hysterically. ‘He’s going to take my little treasure to Italy, and I can’t bear it.’ She reared up from Polly’s sheltering arm, glaring venomously at Sandro, who was regarding her with narrowed eyes, his mouth hard and set. ‘How dare you come here, ruining our lives like this?’ she stormed. ‘Get out of my house. And never come back.’
‘You are not the only one to suffer, signora.’ His tone was almost dismissive. He looked at Polly. ‘But it would be better for my son to be looked after by someone else until the custody hearing. The nanny I have engaged will move in with you.’
‘She can’t,’ Polly told him curtly. ‘My flat is far too small for that.’
He shrugged. ‘Then you will be found somewhere else to live.’
‘I don’t want that,’ she said raggedly. ‘I don’t want anything from you. I just need you to go, and leave us in peace.’
‘The marchese is being generous, Signorina Fairfax,’ Alberto Molena intervened unexpectedly. ‘He could ask for the child to be transferred to the care of a temporary guardian while the custody issue is decided.’
‘And, of course, he’s so sure he’ll get custody.’ Polly got to her feet, her eyes blazing. ‘So bloody arrogant and all-conquering. But what court’s going to hand over a baby to someone with his criminal connections? And I’ll make sure they know all about his underworld background,’ she added defiantly. ‘Whatever the cost.’
There was a stunned silence. Then Sandro muttered, ‘Dio mio,’ and turned sharply, walking back to the window, his fists clenched at his sides.
Signor Molena’s voice was hushed. ‘I think you’re making a grave mistake, signorina. Since the death of his father, the marchese has become head of an old and much respected family in southern Italy, and chairman of a business empire with strong interests in the tourist industry among other things.’
He spread his hands almost helplessly. ‘You must surely have heard of the Comadora chain of hotels? They are internationally famous.’
‘Yes.’ Polly had to force suddenly numbed lips to form the words. Her shocked gaze went from his embarrassed face to Sandro’s rigid back. ‘Yes, I know about them.’
Signor Molena paused, awkwardly. ‘And marchese means “marquis” in your language. It is an aristocratic title, not what you seem to think.’ He shook his head. ‘To suggest that any member of the Valessi family has ever been linked with criminal elements would be a serious slander if it were not so laughable.’
Polly had never felt less like laughing in her entire life. If she’d been cold before, she was now consumed in an agony of burning humiliation, blushing from her feet to the top of her head.
She wrapped her arms defensively round her body. ‘I—I’m sorry,’ she mumbled.
Behind her, her mother moaned faintly, and sank back in her chair.
Sandro turned slowly and studied them both reflectively. When he spoke his voice was calm but there was no sign of softening in his attitude.
‘That is what you thought?’ he asked. ‘What you really believed, in spite of everything? It almost defies belief. Almost,’ he added quietly, ‘but not quite. And it explains a great deal.’
He paused. ‘I understand from the signora, your mother, that your father is at his office. Perhaps he could be fetched. I do not think that she should be alone.’
Polly shook herself into action. ‘Yes—yes, I’ll telephone him. And her doctor …’ She went out into the hall, standing helplessly for a moment as she tried to remember the number. Realising her mind was a blank.
Sandro followed, closing the door of the living room behind him.
She didn’t look at him, doggedly turning the leaves of the directory. ‘What—what will happen now?’
‘The legal process will begin. But for tonight you may take Carlino to sleep at your appartamento.’
‘Thank you,’ she said with irony.
‘The bambinaia, whose name is Julie Cole, will accompany you to put him to bed,’ he went on, as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘Then she will return in the morning at seven o’clock to take care of him.’
He spoke as if he was conducting a board meeting, Polly thought incredulously, rather than trying to destroy her life.
She said, ‘We could all stay here, perhaps. There’s—plenty of room.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘This is not an environment I want for my son.’
Why? she wanted to cry. Because it’s an ordinary suburban house rather than a palazzo? Just as I was an ordinary girl, and therefore not deemed as a suitable candidate to become your marchesa?
She could see now why it had been so important to pay her off, in order to get rid of her. There was too much at stake dynastically to allow a mistake like herself to enter the equation.
The old pain was back like a knife twisting inside her. A pain that her pride forbade her to let him see. So she would never ask the question ‘Why did you leave me?’ because she now knew the answer to that, beyond all doubt.
Besides, it would expose the fact that she cared, and that he still had the power to hurt her. And she needed that to remain her secret, and her solitary torment.
Besides, at the moment she was faced with all the suffering she could handle.
Unless she could divert him from his purpose somehow, she thought. Unless …
She picked up the phone irresolutely, then put it down again. She said quickly, before her courage ran out, ‘Sandro, it doesn’t have to be like this. Surely we could work something out. Share custody in some way.’
His mouth thinned. ‘I am expected to trust you? When you have deliberately kept our child from me and even claimed to have a lover to sustain the deception? How much do you think your word is worth?’
Polly swallowed. ‘I don’t blame you for being angry.’
‘Mille grazie.’ His tone was sardonic.
‘And maybe doing my best to be Charlie’s mother hasn’t been good enough,’ she went on, bravely. ‘But he doesn’t know you at all, and if he was just whisked off to another country among strangers, however well-meaning, he’d be disorientated—scared. He—he’s shy with people at first.’
‘A trait he shares with you, mia bella, if memory serves,’ Sandro drawled with cool mockery.
She remembered too. Recalled how gentle and considerate he had been that first time in bed together. How he’d coaxed her out of her clothes and her initial inhibitions.
She flushed hotly and angrily. ‘May we cut out the personal reminiscences?’ she requested curtly.
He shrugged. ‘It is difficult to see how. Making a child together is an intensely personal matter.’ He paused. ‘And by the time I take Carlino to Italy, we will be well acquainted with each other. I guarantee that. And my own old nurse, Dorotea, will be waiting to look after him. The transition will not be too hard.’
But it will be agony for me, she thought, her throat tightening convulsively. First I lost you, and now you’re trying to take Charlie away. And already I feel as if I’m dying inside.
She said tonelessly, ‘I’d better make those calls.’
He inclined his head courteously, and went past her, and out into the garden.
Presently, distant but gleeful, Charlie’s laughter came to her on the light summer wind, and she stood, staring in front of her unseeingly, her teeth sunk so deeply into her lower lip that she could taste blood.
She wanted to hate Julie Cole, but it was impossible. She was too kind, too tactful, and she thought that Charlie was heaven on legs.
And if she knew that her job was more for security than enjoyment, she kept that to herself.
The creamy scrambled eggs she made for supper were good too, and Charlie loved the triangles of buttered toast that went with them, although Polly could barely force her portion past the sick, scared lump in her throat.
She had wanted to wait at the house to talk to her father, or perhaps just put her head down on his shoulder and cry out her fear, but suddenly there was a car and driver at the gate, and Sandro was insisting quietly but implacably that she should take Charlie home.
She’d begun a protest, but Sandro had simply looked at her, his brows lifted haughtily, questioningly, and the words seemed to stutter and die on her lips.
‘You begin to learn,’ he had approved coldly.
She had been shaken to find him carrying Charlie down to the car in his arms, and found herself hoping that the little boy would have one of his infrequent tantrums, kicking, screaming and reaching for her as proof that no one else would do.
He didn’t; nor did he burst into tears when Sandro had gently but firmly removed his thumb from his mouth.
She had said defensively, ‘He doesn’t really do that any more. Only when he’s tired—or frightened.’
‘All the more reason, then, to take him home,’ Sandro had retorted unarguably.
She could only imagine the kind of scene that would erupt once her father returned, and her mother had some solid support.
‘I’ll make your father sell the house,’ she’d hissed at Polly as she was leaving. ‘Marquis or not, I’m going to fight this man through every court in the land.’
Polly sighed silently. She really doesn’t know what she’s up against, she thought unhappily. And I’m only just beginning to find out, too.
Only twenty-four hours ago or less, she’d been planning for her life to change, but not to this extreme, catastrophic extent. She’d seen a period of struggle ahead, but never the bleak desert of loneliness that now threatened her.
‘He may not win,’ she thought. And only realised she’d spoken aloud when Julie said, ‘Are you all right, Miss Fairfax?’
Polly jumped, then mustered an attempt at a smile. ‘Yes, fine,’ she lied.
Julie studied her dubiously. ‘I saw some white wine in the fridge while I was getting the eggs. Why don’t you sit down and put your feet up, while I do the dishes, and then I’ll bring you a glass?’
I don’t want a glass, thought Polly. I want a bottle, a cellar, a whole vineyard. I want the edges of my pain blurred, and to be able to stop thinking.
She cleared her throat. ‘I know Sandro—the marchese—instructed you to put Charlie to bed, but I’d really like to do it myself, if you wouldn’t mind.’
‘Sure, Miss Fairfax.’ Was that compassion in the other girl’s voice? ‘Anything you say.’
Charlie was tired, and more than a little grumpy, especially when he realised his usual playtime in the bath was going to be curtailed. By the time she’d wrestled him into his pyjamas, Polly felt limp, and close to tears.
‘Let me take him.’ Julie spoke gently behind her. ‘You look all in.’
Polly submitted, standing in his doorway, while her grizzling son was tucked in deftly and firmly.
He’ll never settle, she told herself with a kind of sour triumph, only to be confounded when he was fast asleep within five minutes.
She stood at the side of the cot, watching the fan of dark lashes on his cheek, and the small mouth pursed in slumber. She ached to snatch him up and hold him. To run with him into the night to a place where they would never be found.
But she was crying for the moon, and she knew it. Even if there was such a place, she hadn’t enough money to go on the run, or enough skill to outwit Sandro for long. And she couldn’t afford to provoke his wrath again. She needed to reason with him—to persuade—even to plead, if she had to. Besides, on a purely practical level, instinct warned her that if she attempted to leave, whoever waited in the shadows opposite would step out and prevent her from going.
She sank down onto the floor, and leaned her head against the bars of the cot, listening to Charlie’s soft, even breathing. And thinking of all the nights of silence that could be waiting for her.
When she finally returned to the other room, she discovered gratefully that the sofa bed had been opened and made up for the night, and the glass of wine was waiting with a note that said, ‘See you in the morning. J.’
She took a first sip, then carried the wine into the bathroom, and began to half fill the tub with warm water, softened by a handful of foaming bath oil. No shower tonight, she told herself. She wanted to relax completely.
She took off her clothes and slid with a sigh into the scented water, reaching for her wineglass.
It would help her sleep, she thought. And tomorrow, when she was more rested, things might seem better. After all, she knew now the worst that could happen to her, and there must be a way of dealing with it that would not leave her utterly bereft.
She leaned back, resting her head on the rim of the bath, and closing her eyes.
Yes, tomorrow she would make plans. Find out if she qualified for legal aid, and get herself a lawyer of her own. Someone who would negotiate with Sandro on her behalf, and allow her to maintain some kind of distance from him.
I really need to do that, she thought. To stay calm—and aloof. I can fight him better that way.
And at that moment, as if he were some demon she’d conjured up from her own private hell, she heard his voice, low, mocking and far too close at hand.
